Tag: Love

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Uncategorized

Find Your Health Rhythm and Flow With THIS….

What is the #1 thing that determines whether you have a “Healthy Day” or not?!

I have found my *THING* and once I tell you I bet you will totally agree with me…..AND will probably love that I am offering you a FREE checklist of said *THING* so you can get in on the practice as well!! Be sure you look for it at the end!

So here’s the thing—-it appears the entire month of July seems to have passed within a blink of an eye! WHERE DID IT GO?!

My husband and I were down in San Diego for the month while my 3-year old stepdaughter, Eden, was staying with us and (as is often is the case for me in July) my normal health practices kinda fell by the wayside. I noticed my physical health somewhat declining and I decided it was time to learn more about my body heath and go for a checkup at my local clinic. I couldn’t keep letting myself slip like I was.

Jumping into the moving vortex that is parenting a boisterous and hilarious “threenager” will certainly do that to ya, but also, July is just one of those months where, year-after-year, I kinda just relax a little bit more. It starts with the 4th holiday and then I usually have a vacation in there or two, certainly a few more BBQs, a family reunion and before you know it, my normal exercise practices have taken a month-long hiatus.

Real July Gym

 

I happen to think this break is an EXCELLENT idea for everyone and I do it intentionally. I know from years of experience, that you CANNOT go 12-months of non-stop “fat loss” efforts. It doesn’t work for our bodies, our minds OR our souls.

So when the Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”

For your TRUE HEALTH, this means you need to take SEASONS where you just REST and you just take a chill pill on the whole “count every macro that goes into my mouth” or the “count every rep and every calorie I burn” type of attention to detail (if you’re into that sort of thing….).

This is not to say that I didn’t CARE about my health for an entire month! Actually, quite the opposite! For me, this just means that I take a season off of my BODY health practices and usually make greater efforts for my MINDSET and my SPIRITUAL health.

Actually, my real test for my “Healthy Mindset” is IF I can take a hiatus from the gym a bit more, eat a few more pieces of chocolate and cups of frozen yogurt and…..wait for it…..

NOT BEAT MYSELF UP FOR IT!

I monitor my “Self-Talk” and what I’m saying to myself when I look in the mirror, when I’m experiencing the stomach aches that inevitably come too (darnit dairy!), and just breath into the space of imperfection. It is a daily mental battle. I won’t lie to you and tell you I was really strong mentally every day of the month, but I can tell you, my WISE’her practices have paid off! I certainly am stronger mentally in my health that I was just a few months ago! #ProgressNotPerfection!

As far as my Body’s Health went during this season of “chill more” and “worry less” I still focused definitely on movement with lots of park time and certainly lifting up that 46-lb ball of sugar that is my step-daughter(!) and even stuck to my Nutrient-based eating that I always do (I just added more chocolate and sugar into the mix)! It was a really enjoyable break!

So whether July was that sort of month for you or not, I want to encourage you to TAKE A MONTH (or two!) where you do intentionally plan to REST your body for a season. But then…..get back to WORK.

SO WHAT NOW?

After you take a season OFF of your normal exercise and/or heightened nutrition focus, there is always this TOUGH PHASE of getting back into the rhythm of things!

But that’s really all you need to focus on….THE RHYTHM.

FLOW water2

THIS IS WHERE IT’S AT! This is the #1 thing that will determine whether I have a “Healthy Day” or not….

Finding My Health and Fitness Floowwwww!

I believe, to effectively put your health back into practice, you must find that rhythm and flow that comes into good, healthy practices.

The best way to find that RHYTHM is in my favorite step to SURREND’hered Health——–> RITUALIZE It!
In my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development, I highlight the two very important steps in the path to True Health.

  • Step #5: Habitualize It! –>this is creating new healthy habits to replace old unhealthy habits.

and my FAVORITE….

  • Step #6: Ritualize It! –> THIS is finding those personal preferences, tricks, and other appealing practices around the new healthy habits that will get you to DO THEM!

Ritualizing your Health becomes a rhythm and a flow when you plan for the rituals rather than plan for the “check list” of habits you need to do.

For example, I find the stupidest little details really enjoyable in my day!

  • From the coffee cup I use in the morning when I do my morning quiet time with God…..
  • To the little tiny dishes I use to fill with nuts and treats….
  • To THE song that I use as my anthem of the moment (i.e. gym, God-time, dance-time etc.)
  • To the pen and special notebook I use to write down my workouts.

Everything that I do well for my health, I do because I have RITUALIZED my practice of it and have thus found the RHYTHM and FLOW I need to have a fully successful day practicing better health practices.

For you I have 2 Special Treats:

  1. I have created an easy check list of the 7 SURREND’hered Rituals that I do every day for my True Health practices! You can get a copy of this Ritual Checklist when you subscribe to the #STRONGherAUGUST month long series of more blogs and articles on all things related to become STRONG’her in my Body’s Health. All month I’m going to focus on more workouts to try, more metabolism tips, more nutrition education, and more recipes for success! Click HERE to subscribe and you’ll also be the first to see the next great things I’m doing on A. Wright Fit come this FALL!
    RITUALS

  2. For your viewing pleasure, I have the video that I created for the 7-Steps of SURREND’hered Goal Development series on how to effectively RITUALIZE It! I’m a HUGE dork so it’s a good one! 😉 

    https://vimeo.com/125247677

Categories
Goal Development Health Coaching

What’s the (W)RIGHT Question When Facing Life’s Challenges?

IMG_6670

As I am in the business of helping others cultivate lasting change in their lives, I have written and truly believe that if we solely rely on will power to manifest any changes in our life, we soon recognize that our WILL POWER quickly becomes our WON’T POWER because we are relying on such small, finite power within ourselves. 

 

To find our GREATER POWER we must seek and find our GOD POWER which is limitless and infinite.  We find our GOD POWER when we engage and learn from a relationship with GOD and can focus and harness from His Spirit within us.  He always provides what we need in that moment we need it.

Will Power = Wont Power

 

I have learned this 1000-fold from first hand experience, but, God did not design us to have to learn everything from our own trials.  God gives us each other to learn from too. 

As I have built A. Wright Fit as a way to share my own faults and flaws in an effort to teach others as I “Find A Wright Fit” on my path to True (read: balanced) Health, I have found God has also provided me the gift of being on the receiving end of learning through other people’s lives as well. 

Such is the case of a story I want to share with you today.   I was talking with a new friend and new potential client we’ll call “K” about some recent exciting changes she’s been going through. 

I first met K just a few months ago as she was beginning life under a new boss and an exciting new promotion at her big corporate job.  She was so honored and encouraged by her upward movement with a company she loves.  Now with her new job and new boss, she was working harder than she had ever worked before, but work that feels so rewarding. 

Corporate ladder

But, in our last encounter, I saw a less enthusiastic K.  The problem is that as she has been working her tail off, other people in her company, at her same level and position no less, are doing what many flawed people do best—lots of gossip, jealousy, disparaging and waiting for her to fail so they could be “right” about their cynicism. 

work gossip image

She came to me needing to vent.  “I feel so lucky and can’t believe it’s all happening and yet I am so overwhelmed by all this negativity and criticism around me.  “They” are so mean and I am constantly thinking about what “they” are saying about me.  I break down all the time.”

Then she said it…..


“I know I just need to be STRONGER…..”

Scrrrrrrrrrcccccch.  (Record Stops)   My ears perk up.   

What K is experiencing is something I have experienced personally and what I see ALL THE TIME from friends, family and clients. 

When we get so caught up worrying about the CIRCUMSTANCE and the NAYSAYERS, we fail to see the BIG PICTURE and the power we have in these very moments.

  • K has been looking at her situation as “luck” that she found herself under her new boss at work and up for a promotion.  God sees this as His design for her, a step so worthy of her.
  • K thinks she needs more “strength” herself.  God has been patiently waiting for her to finally use HIS power within her. 
  • K thinks this is all about her “job” and being “strong enough.” God sees this as the prime opportunity to finally build the relationship He’s been seeking with her!  This is one of just a million ways He’s been trying to get her attention.

K has been trying to face her problems at work with WILL POWER, but she has quickly realized that her new position alone is maxing out all the will power she has!  New changes and our careers can quickly monopolize every ounce of will power we have.  

And, just as I mentioned at the beginning, when we solely rely on will power, it quickly becomes WON’T POWER.  It just won’t work for the long haul.   We’ll be miserable!

Here’s the Problem with Will Power:

If she is maxing out all her will power just at her job, the other areas of her life—her health, her relationships, her Faith— are all going to suffer from not getting enough attention and balance. 

She is seeing that she isn’t able to sustain the will power to do her job really well ANNNNNDD the will power to combat the naysayers.   On top that, she also wants to date and find a healthy relationship and get married one day.  On tippy top of that, she has also come to me expressing a real desire to getting healthier and less “skinny fat” as she puts it. 🙂 

We all want it all right?!  This IS what God wants for us too. But He wants us to do it His way, not our way.  

So, as much as I love new clients, I told her honestly that I can see she’s not in a place where she can focus on health changes too as I right away recognized that her will power tank is running on empty.  Adding more things on her “to do” list DOES NOT HELP when you are already feeling overwhelmed! 

If K doesn’t find more POWER within her, she is going to continue to struggle at her new position and struggle with attempts to do all the other things she wants to do in life.  Because, in all likelihood, the constant gossip, criticism and annoying comments aren’t going to go away….this is corporate America we’re talking about! 

But, even if they do, other problems are just going to replace them until K learns the Greater Lesson she is meant to learn from God.

I wanted to share K’s story, not only because it was tremendously helpful and insightful for me to learn from but I also know that many of you have felt these exact sentiments and could empathize from your own circumstances.

  • Perhaps you are running on emotional “empty” as well?  Perhaps you have maxed out all your will power to just one area of YOUR life and here has come another problem you can’t seem to handle? 
  • Perhaps you too have dreams of having more to your life than just  the _____________ (area) but can’t imagine how you’re going to find the will power, time OR the energy!?
  • Perhaps you have recently thought that exact same phrase as K and myself, “If I were just STRONGER…..”


Don’t. Fall. For. The Trap.

The devil with prey on our challenging circumstances and cause you to think of them as a “bad sign” or proof that you are indeed “unworthy” of the life you have dreamed for yourself.  He’ll want to persuade you to give up and play small by focusing on all the wrong things. 

But what you may be needing, just like K is needing, is not a newfound ANSWER but rather A NEW QUESTION.

You see, when you experience pain, when you are going through trouble and trauma and uncertain times, you must focus on the (W)RIGHT QUESTION to get the (W)RIGHT ANSWER   (and then “You’ve Got the (W)Right stuff….baby”)

You've Got the Wright Stuff....
Couldn’t resist…..

THE (W)RIGHT QUESTION:

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO LEARN HERE GOD?

I love what Rick Warren says about our problems.  He says, “God is not interested in your circumstances as much as He is interested in your CHARACTER.”

In other words, what character values are you cultivating as you harness your energy for your problems? Where are you putting all of your hope and faith?   

Is it in yourself and all that you are able to do (i.e. your WILL POWER)? 

OR are you praying and seeking God’s power through God’s wisdom?

Refocusing your mind and thoughts on what GOD might be wanting you to learn through prayer and reading the Word of God,  will provide you with the REAL answer and your GREATER POWER which is your GOD POWER. 

Then you’ll find, even if your circumstances don’t change, your perspective of them will, and that will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE!

God allows everything to enter into our life to teach us and be used for Good by cultivating the necessary character changes you need.  This includes bad decisions we make, bad things that other people say or do to us, and the havoc that the devil and evil will cause for us too.  ALL can be made RIGHT with God and will serve our Greater Purpose. 

So keep the Faith and keep asking God the (W)Right Question to get the (W)Right Answer!  Remember, in order to HEAR God, you must spend time in PRAYER and in His WORD (i.e. reading the Bible) and it will be revealed!

 

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)

  

Categories
Spiritual Health

The Wondrous Power Of 40

Wondrous 40

I am currently traveling back from my a long weekend with my entire family to celebrate my parents 40th wedding anniversary in Breckenridge, CO!   What an honor it is to be the daughter of such a loving and committed couple, it is truly a gift from them I could never repay.  It has been invaluable to my life.

They met when my mom, Kathi, was 15 and my dad, Ralph, was 18.  They were married just 5-years later and have remained faithful and committed to their love these 40-years later.  What I love the most, is not just that they have been married for this long, but they have actually been happily married and have showcased this affection and love to my siblings and I throughout. 

For some, they might look at this 40-year success as a “miracle” in today’s society, but for our family, we know it is not some magical act of luck that has kept them thriving in marriage, but the workmanship of God. 

It has been part of God’s Purpose for them to find each other, marry and grow in Him as they grew in their love.  My parents simply made the decision to continue to stay Faithful to His purpose and promises in their life.  They will tell us it has not always been easy to thrive in a loving marriage and family of 5.   

They have had their definite challenges in the differences in personality (my mom can be a back-seat driver, my dad can be impatient) and the difficult circumstances they have faced (my mom’s breast cancer, my dad’s business closing) and at times they questioned God’s plan, like we all do.  

But, they still made the decision to remain Faithful to their commitment, because they knew that God would stay Faithful to His.

As I was reflecting on their 40-years and the wonder of God’s love that has allowed them to endure and thrive, I started to focus on the symbolism of that number 40.   It is so POWERFUL!

Did you know that the Bible mentions this number 146 times?  It is a very powerful and prominent symbol that represents the God’s intentional periods of testing and waiting as well as the fulfillment of God’s love and promises. 
 
For example:)

  • Moses went through three, 40-year phases in his life:  40-years as the son of Pharaoh in Egypt, then 40-years wandering the desert, then 40-years leading God’s people to Israel.
  • Moses received the 10-Commandments from God after a 40-day fast up on Mount Sinai.
  • In the book of Exodus, God’s People of Israel were freed from Egypt and on their way to the Promised Land which was a trek that should have taken just a few weeks by foot, but God tested them and made them wait 40-years before they could enter to their rightful home! 
  • Jesus did a 40-day prayer fast right before His crucifixion where we was tempted by Satan to set Himself free from His destiny of death.  Jesus thankfully overpowered Satan’s tempting which gives us our freedom from Sin today.
  • The Bible itself is actually written by 40 different authors and yet all relay the same truth and the consistent character of God.

The number 40 is a big deal in the eyes of God and, as with everything in the Bible, we should pay attention and apply it to our lives. 

For this reason, I choose to engage in 40-day intentions annually.  I have for the last 10-years practiced the self-sacrifice period of Lent which is the 40-days leading up to Easter Sunday, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus. 

As I have grown in my relationship with God more recently, I have decided 40-days is the perfect amount of time to really focus on health intentions too.  I believe that if we want to truly secure new, healthier habits into our lives, a 40-day commitment is usually the least amount of time required before the act because truly habitual and less difficult. 

For this reason, at A. Wright Fit I will be offering several health intention plans and products that will focus around this 40-day blessed period. 

The first, is my 40-days Radical Acceptance daily devotional series which starts TOMORROW, July 21.  This is a simple daily reading with the intention of Radically Accepting some of the harder things in our Spiritual lives.

To be sure you are signed up, click this link HERE.<—   

Since this is my first 40-day Spiritual Health product I’m offering,  I have decided I wanted to offer it for FREE before I add it to a exercise and nutrition sequence that will be for sale! 

But to get your chance of reading it for FREE, be sure you sign up for the email sequence as well as CONFIRM your email to the be officially added. Again,   —> LINK IS HERE<—

I am looking forward to what 40-Days of Radical Acceptance looks like for me!  I invite you along for the journey too! 

Radical Acceptance (4)

 

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health

{July 4th} 4 Keys to Living F.R.E.E. in True Health

4 KEYS TO LIVING F.R.E.E. In TRUE HEALTH

It’s a little ironic, but I will celebrating this 4th of July across the pond on the “losing” side of the Revolutionary War keeping my eye out for any Red Coats in action. They clearly aren’t celebrating this war the same way we do.  Would it be too much to sport a American Flag t-shirt that read #winner??  🙂

But as we celebrate our Nations FREEDOM with a bunch more F’s (Family, Friends, Food and Fireworks!), I can’t help but wonder how many of us are truly living the “Big F” of FREE these days?

Now, I know the good ol’ USA likes to define “Freedom” by the terms of our State and Federal Rights.  As we saw just last week, we can rely on these “laws” to protect and uphold us and can become unreasonably attached to idea that the great laws of our nation can actually force people to be “saved”.  

But, when I speak about True Freedom, I am referencing our original freedom gifted to us by God upon the creation of mankind in the Garden of Eden.  It is there that we were given the freedom of choice, and it is there that the first humans screwed it up—and we have been screwing it up ever since!    

It is the freedom of CHOICE within our SOUL that matters the most, not the rules that we might follow in our worldly life.

So no “Federal law,”  no “Religious law,” heck no “Dietary law” that people want to place on us will actually get to the heart of the matter and make us good.  Our goodness is a spiritual choice—-a FREEDOM. 

If we choose to accept God in our heart, we receive His great empowerment to make better choices that will lead to greater blessings.  But we are never going to be perfect and we are never going to be sinless, no matter what laws we try earnestly to follow.

When it comes to our HEALTH, what I see in myself as well as when I work with the women through my years of training and now with my SURREND’hered Health Transformation health coaching is that many of us think we are FREE but actually are still prisoners of our own making. 

I know for sure for me, public enemy #1 when it comes to my True Health (meaning healthy Body, Mind AND Soul) is——> ME.   In all likelihood, public enemy #1 when it comes to your health is YOU. 

So when I’m talking about becoming FREE I mean setting myself FREE from ME. 

We become prisoners of self-doubt, body shame and unworthiness.  Prisoners of emotional eating, lethargy, and lazyness.  Prisoners of food/substance addictions, food obsession, and self-comparison.  Prisoners of FEAR.   

While some of us feel the weight and exhaustion of being imprisoned by these negative thoughts and emotions and continue to unsuccessfully willpower our way out,  there are also some of us don’t actually realize we are in prison! 

That’s when it’s really scary.  When the negative emotions of worry, fear and obsession have become such close companions that we have no desire to set ourselves FREE because it feels like we would be losing a part of ourself.

SO HOW DO SET OURSELVES FREE?

Much to our own dismay, our freedom from ourselves doesn’t come from “trying harder” or the willpower we’ve been trying to muster our entire life. We can’t actually “earn” our freedom to live a life in True Health.  We can’t count calories, macronutrients or “diet” our way to True Health.  It. Won’t. Last.

The only path to True Health is by first creating a strong, healthy Spirit.  We cannot get strong in Spirit until we invite He who IS power, God, to live in our Spirit.  We cannot “earn” God into our heart by following Religious rules either.  We simply must SURREND’her our life, including our health, to Him and He will hand us the key to the Freedom from our self imprisonment. 

It sounds incredibly simple as I type it out, and in a lot of ways it is much simpler than we make it out to be, but the truth is, even a life-long-church-goer has not *gotten* it for 99% of my life. 

It has been only recently that I started putting into practice the art of SURREND’her and living for True Health. While I’m still a work in progress and will never be perfect (reminder to self!), I am grateful that as I reflect on all that I have learned, I can share with you….

4 KEYS TO LIVING F.R.E.E. IN YOUR HEALTH:

F:  Faith

The ability to SURREND’her your health to God takes Great Faith.  I have been so used to relying on “experts” and “research” and every diet book known to man for what I “should” be doing.  When I finally started reaching out to God for my answers,  I realized I had to unlearn a lot of things.  This was not easy. 

It took a great amount of Faith to walk away from practices I was so attached to and even today,  still find great temptation to resort back to, even though I have completely proven to myself that these methods of “health” don’t work.

But because I have Faith I have this ability to Refocus my attention from my Body to my Greater Purpose and to the will that God has for my life.  In Faith, I am capable of Freeing myself from the burdens of negative assumptions and can walk in the Light of Life with God.   

JPEG image-5C81FB971970-1
Photo Cred: @Martinadashi instragram

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

R:  Radical Acceptance

This one I’m still working through but so much of my freedom to live in True Health has come from practicing radically accepting my body and who I am. 

This means accepting my body shape.  It means accepting the fact that I’m naturally endomorphic and will gain weight very fast.  It means accepting the fact that certain foods and too much alcohol just won’t work for my body and I can’t consume them very often.  Accepting the responsiblity to take care of my body but not seeing my body as the “end goal” but as the means to BE the person I am called to BE.   I’ve had to accept my body as the vessel it is to be used to serve and glorify God.

It’s about being CONTENT which is not permission to be lazy, overindulge in the moment, or to stop trying.  Being content is an active, healthy state.  It is simply embracing and accepting myself in every stage knowing that every moment in this life presents an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to connect with God and serve my Greater Purpose. 

6BBDE38C-95BB-43C4-AC64-5E31C2815FB1
PhotoCred: @andrewjgolesch Instagram

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things thought Him who strengthens me.”  Phil 4:11-13

E:  Energy

I do not have always a choice in the energy that surrounds me all the time, but I do have a choice in the energy that I put out into the world.  Exercising my True Health Freedom means that I make a choice in the energy that I want to share with the world.   As the Spirit Junkie author, Gabrielle Bernstein, wrote on a recent article, “Vibes Speak Louder Than Words.”   

We can all attest that there is a distinct energy difference between love and loathe; between encouragement and envy; between elegance and arrogance. 

The energy I bring to a room emanates from my heart outward.  I either share with the world the LIGHT energy that comes from being Free or I share the DARK energy that comes from my cell of self imprisonment. 

I have found that I create this positive energy by eating the best foods for my body, eating enough food for my body, NOT being overly restrictive, exercising/moving my body every week and getting the necessary rest and sleep for my body.   These choices in my health give me the Freedom to showcase the energy of self love for my body and my True Health. 

E:  Every. Single. Day.

The last key that I have to use to remain Free in my True Health is to remember that every day counts. I have this choice every day to be a woman of True Health, relying on God’s power OR a woman of True HELLth (see what I did there? ;-)) relying on the power of self.

So, by living in FREEDOM, and choosing to live in the Light of God, I dare to be great.  I dare to  transform my life and live out my True Health by becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her and live SURREND’hered to God. 

It is not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

So, this weekend as you celebrate the FREEDOM of living in the land of opportunity, may you also take a moment to pause and give thanks for the FREEDOM of choice that are given as humans.  May you not take this FREEDOM for granted and choose instead to make the choices in your life and in your health to live in the LIGHT of God–living a life of FREEDOM in your True Health

JPEG image-8FAA7B832D57-1
PhotoCred: @scottborrero Instagram

“Surrender your heart to God, turn to Him in prayer and give up your sins—even those you do in secret.  Then you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.”  Job 11:13-18 CEV

Categories
Spiritual Health

Christian Arrogance: Why We Must Check Ourselves Before We Wreck Ourselves

“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”  Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

Maybe it’s the fact that I just got done doing a solid 40-minute car dance session to an array of hip-hop songs, full of all the cuss words, that would make any conservative Christian shake their head….

Or, it’s the fact that news just hit about the Federal decision regarding the Equality Marriage Act and I feel a sense of happiness, not despair, as I think about my gay friends and family members…

Or, it’s the numerous other ways that I know I fail to “play the role” of the Christian person I know society might want me to play.    

 I struggle with feeling like I have “closet” behaviors and feelings that I’m “not supposed” to talk about or show because I’m a Christian and I am fearful of judgement.  This feeling has popped-up several times in the last couple of weeks, so much so, that I know I need to address it.   

But I want to be clear, I am not just making this statement because of the political changes that our nation is facing.  I have to be honest and let you know that I am grossly unaware of the politics taking place and don’t have not solid intellectual basis to start making sound judgements or stating opinions, so I’m not going to here.

This is not because I don’t care about politics or policy, but it’s because there is too much darkness involved in politics and the media that covers it.  As I started writing and investing in Spiritual growth, I made the conscious decision to cut out all things that do not help me shine my light brighter.  News, politics, and all nonsense media and TV cast too large of a dark shadow in my Mind and Spirit and I better serve focusing on what is RIGHT with the world, not always what is wrong.  It makes me naive in the best possible way and I’m ok with that. 

I do know that a lot of these changes have fellow Christians in an uproar and seems to be causing another great divide among our nation… not that it’s anything new.  But I want to address this reaction not only for a “gut check” for my fellow Christians, but also for my NON Christian friends who might think that all Christians think alike. 

The rampant sin that I see causing so much anguish and division not only around the world, but in MY VERY heart is what’s called “CA” or “Christian Arrogance.”  This is also known as the sin of being Self-Righteous.

I want to own up to the fact that just because I am a Christian, it does not mean that I don’t have sin.  In fact, I think it means that I am more susceptible to the “sneaky sins” that wreck havoc on my soul but I choose not to see because it’s not “as bad” as some of the other “bigger sins” out there in the world. 

But we must remember—-A sin is a sin is a sin. 

So being self righteous is just as sinful as committing murder in the eyes of God.  We must never forget that and never stop searching our hearts for our own destruction.

So here I go, me first.    

MY SELF-RIGHTEOUS TENDENCIES:

When I was deciding to start my “Finding A. Wright Fit” blog this year, I was really conflicted and very fearful about being completely open and honest about my Christian Faith as I was trying to share my light and teach on Health for your Mind, Body and Soul. 

I hated the idea of being secluded to a “Christian Box” that would invite in opportunity of judgement from both Non-Christians and Christians alike. 

I was fearful that any Non-Christian would resent my use of the “J” word (i.e. Jesus) because clearly not all people in this world know and believe that Jesus is the Messiah.  It would automatically ostracize anyone that did not share my belief and I did not want to eliminate the opportunity to impact those people’s lives that I truly want to reach the most. 

BUT, even more so, I was fearful that all of potential CHRISTIAN readers would equally judge me based on my writing and would be checking to see that what I wrote and taught was “in line” with the Bible. I didn’t really feel “qualified” to Spiritually teach because I don’t know the Bible in-and-out despite having grown up going to church my whole life.  My lack of theological knowledge made me insecure.

As you might know,  I chose to boldly stepped over both of these fears and decided I must write in my authentic voice which will showcase my true faith that includes the fact that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and I am nothing without Him.   There is really no other way to talk about my Spirit of my health if He’s not included in it.  Period. 

Nevertheless, it was the FEARS I had that left me puzzled  because I have actually never been persecuted for my Faith–  so why should I have such fears or persecution? 

It is partly that I have seen it in our culture, sure. I have witnessed Christians slandering one another when stating opinions about secular issues.  I do see it on TV and see it on social media a lot. 

But, I have to be honest and tell you I don’t think those reasons was the real cause to why I was so fearful of this potential judgement from Christians and non-Christians alike. 

The reason why I think I was fearful about receiving judgement is because I AM JUDGMENTAL. 

I fear things will be done to me that I secretly do to others….

When the Bible says, “Do not judge or you too will be judged” (Matt 7:1) this does not just refer to the fact that we will all be judged one day by God in Heaven, but I also think it means that when we put out judgement into the world, the world give us judgement right back.

Some call this the mirror effect or even karma,  but I liken it best to the Newtons 3rd Law of Motion— for every action, there is an EQUAL and opposite reaction.

Not only can we see that this response occurs from our actions, but I also see that it creates the FEAR that it will happen, causing even more mental anguish.

  • For example, we judge others bodies as we walk down the street, so we FEAR others judge our body as we walk down the street.  This in turn causes us to act in insecure ways and worry too much about what we wear and how we look, becoming overly self-involved. 
  • We judge others for their “lack of faith” so we FEAR they will judge us too for our own faith.   This in turn, causes actions of overcompensation and defensive behavior.  We cast out judgements and point fingers.

  

POLARIZED INNER LIFE:

The truth is….

…as a Trainer and Nutritionist the more I read and learn, the more I am humbled to realize how much I don’t know.  Even though I have a SOLID base for what has worked (and more often not worked) , I really have no authority to tell someone else what will or won’t work for them.  I can really only coach them and help guide them to discover more for themselves. 

Just the same, as a Christian and Spiritually minded person, the more I read the Bible, the more I see how very sinful I am!  The more I see the areas that I must fix and address.  So often the Spiritual advice I give my clients is the very advice I need to hear myself.  I have no real “authority” of how to cultivate a relationship with God in your life, I can only do my best to guide you to God yourself.   

But while I can write all of these things to you now and know they are true from my heart, I would be a liar if I didn’t also tell you that the opposite thoughts can just as easily control my mind and how I act. 

There is this “self righteous” tendency, my EGO, that wants to also tell you, “Well, I’ve done all this research and read the Bible verse that says “_____,” and this clearly makes me more of an expert than you are, so listen to my opinion and follow my instructions!” 

I do it all the time. 

I have secret Christian Arrogance when I hope my husband doesn’t hang out with his atheist friends who I think might be “bad influences”; when I secretly judge the more “strict” religious people I know for being “too extreme”; when I use a Bible verse to help make a point of what someone “should not do” but coolly ignore the Bible for all the verses that point out all my sins; every time I gossip about someone; every time I am overbearing and demanding; every time I shift the blame of my problems to someone else…etc etc etc!!

THIS is what we will often see from my fellow Christians in a response to some of the social changes that take place as they try to use the Bible as ammunition. 

If we want to use the Bible (which I DO wholeheartedly believe IS the Truth and the Word of God that all who follow Him must honor and follow as uncomfortable as it may be)  then we must use ALL of the Bible.  Not just those verses that help us to judge others for their “sinful” actions. 

Paul writes to the Christian Romans, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.”  (Romans 2:1)

That’s the thing that Christians need to start owning:

  1. We need to stop expecting Non-Christians to act like Christians—they DO have an excuse to be sinful because they are not saved and really don’t know any better. 
  2. We need to own the fact that because we are saved, then we DON’T have an excuse for sin, because we actually know better.   

Yes, we do want non-believers to become believers that is our great purpose and calling in this world.   But, I don’t think pointing out ALL the things “they” are doing wrong is going to do it.  When was the last time that worked for you?   

THE ANSWER TO OUR OWN CHRISTIAN ARROGANCE:

We just work from WITHIN.

We must “take up our cross” and bear the weight of the sneaky sins that we often overlook as we point out the “greater sins” we see in the world around us. 

If we want to see change in the world, we really must BE the change ourselves but not just “any change”…we must change for GOOD.

We must show humility, gentleness and above all LOVE.

This is what it means to be Christ-like….not just “Christian” from the religious perspective.  

Our hope and salvation must rest wholly on HIM.  Not on our laws, not on our Pastors, not on our Politicians, not on each other…. but on GOD alone and the salvation He gave us when He sent His son to show us the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6) and die for our sins so we might be saved. 

If we are to follow Christ, we must take up our cross and bear it before others to show what it means to be a true disciple.  It’s hard and it sucks, but this is what Faith is and living in Faith is always worth it.  This is how we will live a blessed life full of fruit.     

In closing, here is my prayer for this article and what it might stir inside you:

  • I hope it simply makes you think less about “what’s wrong with the world” and more on “what’s wrong with me.”  If you focus on our own sin first, the world will be better off.  You can bet that this will take you anywhere from 23.5 to about 24 hours a day.  So go ahead an get going on that….you’re a little behind. 🙂
  • If you happen to be one of my friends that does not share in my beliefs and have expressed resentment toward the judgement or pushiness you have received from perhaps me or other religious people in your past, please accept this article as an apology on behalf of all of us that have screwed it up and made you feel this way.  We were being self-righteous jerks.Not one of us can know what you are going through, how you were born, the circumstances you have faced and therefore “what you should do with your life.”   But I love you and care about you and I want you to feel nothing but love, acceptance and joy for the rest of your life.  Should you ever want to explore what a relationship with God that I have Faith will give you that kind of life, I will always be here to encourage you and show you how you can seek that for yourself.  But if you don’t, I love you just the same, no matter what life you live.   

If I may, I want to end in the same way that the well-known philosopher and theologian, G. K. Chesterton chose to answer the question posed by a London Times editorial years ago when asked,

“What’s wrong with the world?”

My answer: I am. 

  

Categories
Spiritual Health

Watershed Anniversary: Top 10-Lessons I’ve Learned Since June 1, 2013

I woke up on this day, June 1, exactly two years ago “ready” for a big day, but what actually came to be, would be far bigger than I ever imagined.

We all have these days, called Watershed moments, that change the course of our history.  This day is the anniversary for which my life has never been the same.

June 1, 2013, I did my first, and only, bikini competition.  But also the day that my then ex-boyfriend, now husband, Howard, came back into my life.    

Howard and I at Bikini

At the time, I had not seen Howard in about 18-months as he surprised me and showed up to my competition, flying in from California.  He had seen me in many shapes and forms over our 5-year history at that time, but he was surprised  that there was a lot MORE of me to see in that itty bitty bikini, but also a lot LESS of me to see as I was about 35-lbs lighter than when he and I had first started dating. 

As I have written about before, I was using the show in-part as an effort to teach myself the lessons in nutrition and fitness so I could be a better nutritionist and trainer.

  The other reason, and what I consider my “real” reason I took to such extreme measures to attain the “perfect body,” was to fill a void in my soul that had been caused from years of body image disorders. 

What I learned from this experience was that God is the only thing that can fill the gaps in our hearts and souls.  As happy as I thought I was going to be by getting such a “perfect” body, I was joyless, sad, lonely and ashamed.

While this experience has been truly significant in shaping who I am as a woman and now teacher of TRUE Health (in Body, Mind and Soul) I must admit that finding my love again, my Howard, would be the real reason to celebrate this day in my history.    

IMG_0575

My life as I knew it was going to drastically change from my single-girl, independent, successful life in Denver, CO to the love wrecked, whirlwind, jet-setting, never-a-dull-moment life I now live! 

Over these last two-years, I must admit that it has felt like huge juggernaut after juggernaut have been thrown in my way, all of which have been tremendous blessings but most certainly demanding quick adaptation, character development and growth—none of which are easy all the time.    

Being single, then bride, then wife and step-mom!
Being employed, then unemployed, then entrepreneur!
Being renter, then home-owner, then “interior designer” x 2!
Being new girl in one new city and then 14-months later being new girl in another new city.
Being healthy, then disabled with a back injury, then a new kind of healthy and strong!
Being in the leanest shape of my life, to back to the not-so-lean shape and being OK WITH THAT! 
Being a narrowly traveled woman then to a jet-setting, never home kind of woman.
Being ME then WE.    

I praise God that He has helped me to adapt as best as I can to a flip-flopped life.  I am woefully imperfect at some transitions and surprisingly adept at others.  I could not have done any of it without God in my heart guiding me along the way.   I have learned so much from Him! 

So, in honor of this marked personal anniversary,  I’d like to share the:

Top 10 Watershed Lessons I’ve Learned in the last 2-years!

  1. TRUST YOUR HEART:
    Howard and I had broken up at least 3 times in the 7-years it would take for us to walk down the aisle, so when he came back to me and told me I was the “One,”  I had plenty of cause for pause and contemplation.  But in the end, it was not about logic and what society would say about second (or third) chances, it was about what my heart said.  I prayed and prayed for several weeks and knew my heart was always his and that God had called us together.

    The same could be said from the experience of my bikini show.  I written once before how I knew in my heart this show was not what God was calling me to do, yet I did it any way.  I am so fortunate that God forgives us when we don’t listen and will find a way to bless and bring purpose from our mistakes.  Howard coming to my show would be part of that purpose. All the lessons I can teach others would be the other.

  2. YOU CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE, BUT GOD CAN:  People try to tell us that “people don’t change,” but that’s not true.  God changes people all the time.  I tried and tried to change my stubborn husband (full disclosure: I still do “try” sometimes…or all the time) all those years of dating, but in the end, he had to learn from within.  (Mental note to stop “trying”).

    The same can be said for me.  Howard loves me at any weight I come in (in fact the curvier the better in most ways!), but I was never trying to lose weight for him, or any man.  It was always because of a lie in my mind telling me I had to be more worthy.  God changed my heart to change my mind and allows me to see the beauty I am at all shapes and sizes.

  3. FORGIVENESS IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE GIVE OURSELVES:
    We all go through pains and do stupid things in our life.  Being able to forgive someone for a serious wrong they have done is a gift to them, certainly, but it is a gift to ourselves most.  To unburden our hearts of the pain and to restore your Faith that God will help you all find a way to make it right and well again will change your life. 

    In the same way, forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is a tremendous gift that will drastically change the course of our lives toward the path that God has chosen for us.

  4. MORE MONEY DOESN’T GIVE YOU MORE JOY, BUT GOD DOES:
    I am not ashamed to admit it, while I was perfectly successful and content on my own, I was looking forward to the travel and the house and excitement that being married to an extremely hard-working and accomplished man would provide as an added bonus to life.  But I would quickly learn, that just having worldly success and the blessing of “things” does not give you more JOY or peace.   

    My most joyful moments still come from those areas where God dwells most—those things money can’t buy.   In hearing my husbands laugh, being silly dancing with my step daughter, taking long walks holding hands, or talking with my mom or girlfriends on the phone.  My single most joyful feeling are those times where God’s love just fills my soul for no apparent reason.  The “stuff” is nice and is still a blessing, but certainly not what makes me truly HAPPY.  I am blessed to realize this.

  5. OUR MINDS GOVERN OUR BODY:
    What I think about most becomes my life or as Descartes said it,  “I think, therefore I am.” For most of my life, I would obsessively worry about my body and what I was eating, causing stress that caused me to over eat and then obsess even more.  This cycle would cause the yo-yo affect that would lead me down the bikini competition path way. 

    My thoughts also change the stress responses to my body for every day function.  Whatever we think about grows.  So if we focus on our problems, they grow.  If we focus on our blessings, they grow!   It impacts our BODY in every way:  how we walk, talk, work and love.

  6. OUR SOULS GOVERN OUR MINDS:
    I learned from a very poignant moment I realized that all of us suffer from LIES in our head that are not just mindset problems, but SPIRITUAL problems.   Learning that the devil preys on those very areas of our minds that are most susceptible is the number one strategy he uses to destroy our Faith and Happiness. 

    The same lesson was learned by my husband as there was a LIE he had perpetually repeated about how he was incapable of marriage that had to take years of counseling and deep soul work to re-wire in his thoughts.   We are blessed that we serve a God that sets us back on the Rock of Truth.

  7. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS:  All it takes is a solid two-years of traveling to realize it doesn’t matter the house (or hotel), but it matters where your heart is.  Building a “home” requires only the foundation in your heart and soul that you take with you wherever you are together.

  8. “Marriage is not designed to make us HAPPY, but to make us HOLY.”
    This quote was from my Pastor, Alan Kraft, of Christ Community Church in Greeley, Co.  I didn’t quite get it at the time but I am getting it now!  I have written before that my husband is my greatest teacher for me—he serves as a MIRROR to me and I am a MIRROR to him.  We love it when our mirrors properly reflect the love of God in our hearts.  But there are times where we see quite clearly that they reflect our flaws and selfish sin.  These are hard lessons.  But I praise God because I would never have seen these things without my husband.  For better or worse, he is making me the Holy woman God wants me to be and I am doing to same for him.

  9. PRAYER SAVES:
    My communication levels with God have never been so frequent and ongoing.  These rapid and great changes in my life can naturally evoke a lot of fear, but because I find constant relief as I give these fears over to God in prayer, I wind up praying much more now than I ever have.  He has given me comfort in tough trials, bravery to step out in Faith, a companion in the times of loneliness, and a place where I can praise and thank Him for his abundant blessings.

  10. YOU CAN’T MESS WITH A MAN’S FOOD:
    Funny that God should bring a “Nutrient-Based”, nutrition girl to become “One” with a Veggie-Hating man, but alas, here we are.  I learned VERY early on that trying to become my husbands “Health Coach” was not going to happen.  I struggle with this (eh hmm…A LOT) some times, mainly because my sin of obsessing about food for myself still discourages me.   But most of the time I just have to throw my hands up in the air and laugh.  I hear this from nearly all of my clients and happily married women I know….you just don’t go there.    

IMG_3096

Categories
Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Two Most Powerful Words…

I am

I recently came across a beautiful quote that said, “I Am. The two most powerful words.  For what you put after them shapes your reality.”

d06623fe68fbe00c16f6c13d01dca0d7

These words, “I Am” are incredibly powerful.  Their meaning has so pervasive into my soul that it has taken on truer depths of meaning as I have thought of them, heard them in passing, and have seen them in written form too.

For those that took part in my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development Program or have read my ebook on the 7-Steps HERE, know that I drew emphasis on the power of our words in Step # 4 Visualize & Affirm It!

In this step, I stress the importance of using verbal affirmations because of the power that our words have over our subconscious mind!  Since neuro scientists have revealed that our subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of our behavior, I argue that anything we can do to re-wire our subconscious minds in the direction we want to go is the best practice! 

While, I think far too many people, including myself, ‘forget’ that this has been proven, and instead tend to repeat the old phrases in our heads.  The lies that we’ve always believed.

Such was the case from the last blog I wrote the other day.  I was in a world of turmoil for reasons I could not quite determine and I was just spiritually exhausted.  In prayer, I called out to God and asked how I was supposed to manage all of my new roles and callings when “I Am so insecure.”

Those words, “I am” shaped that reality and were a main reason for my turmoil. 

They were another LIE from the devil planted in my head, for who knows how long, that had taken root and was causing destruction in my ability to move forward with my Greater Purpose and calling. 

Do I have remorse for saying those words?  Absolutely not.  Because by saying them to God, HE was able to set me right again and speak the truth into me. 

He told me,  “My Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just been believing the lie that you are insecure.”

God revealed to me what my truth is. 

“I am empowered.  I am strong.  I am standing.” 

BUT LET’S UNWRAP IT A BIT MORE…..

These words, “I am” will always remind me of God speaking to Moses in Exodus. 

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 3: 14)

For years and years, I have not been able to wrap my head around the sentence, “I AM has sent me to you.”

It has been a philosophical puzzle that I knew I was supposed to understand, but it wasn’t quite sinking to that depth yet….until one day.

Coincidentally, this was during a time where I was practicing the other part of the “Step #4 Visualize & Affirm It!” by doing a self visualization with my prayer.

There are times in my prayer that I get crystal clear on this woman that I picture myself to be.  My ‘future self’ that is living out her Greater Purpose and calling.  I imagine “her”, meaning me of course, in the course of a typical day. 

{This “her” is actually what I hope to inspire all women to focus on becoming and is the “her” I refer to in “STRONG’her, WISE’her and SURREND’her”}

For me, my visualization prayer takes me to this certain place. 

I visualize myself in 20+ years first in the outward appearance:  I visualize what I’m wearing, my body and shape, the type of chair I’m sitting in, the type of food Im snacking on etc. 

Then I visualize the feelings of this future version of myself: her aura and energy, the joy expressed in her face, the calm and peaceful way she talks— she is strong in grace. 

One day, as I was finishing up this visualization prayer, I began thanking God for this vision and for this future version of me.    

Instead of asking Him to guide me to be like her, I did the opposite, I thanked Him for already making it happen.  I am that confident that I will be this woman I envision, that I don’t actually have to ask God to become that woman anymore, I can start thanking God for what I already know will be. 

But as I started to thank Him, I found myself saying these words instead, “Thank you God for the woman that I will beco…(starting to say “become”), for the woman that “I AM.”

And that’s where it hit me.  “I AM”

There is no “future me”, there is just me.  It’s already been done.   Just like there is no future God…He’s already there too.

All the difficulties I will face between now and that woman I envision is already done.  The trials, the difficulties, the sorrows, the pains….already done and already solved.  The joy, the love, the peace and the grace are all already given to me at maximum levels too. 

I AM is now.   

I AM all of those things I dream of being one day, right now. 

The reason why this is true, is because God is in me and God IS ALL THESE THINGS. 

God does not live in space and time.  God is omnipotent. 

God is both the sorrow and the joy. 

God is both the pain and the peace.

He is ALL things because ALL things have their purpose, His Purpose. 

When I was crying on the ground and said the words, “I am insecure,”  God is that TOO.  God is the LIE only because He must be the LIE in order to be the TRUTH.   You cannot have the truth without also having the lie.

This is not to say that God is the cause of all of these things.  I recently heard a sermon by Pastor Rick Warren where He distinguished that our circumstances (including the bad times) can be caused by 4 different sources:

1. God
2. The Devil
3. Ourselves
4. Other People

So while we can sometimes determine if we’ve caused our own pain or if other people have, we often don’t know if our suffering is from God or the Devil. 

But the truth is that it doesn’t matter.  What matters is not the source of the PAIN, but rather how we are going to use it for our Greater Purpose.  Having a relationship with God means that we allow God to use all things to develop our Purpose and Character. 

The truth is, our times of trouble and the difficult times will have a far greater impact on us that the good and happy times.  The LIES we believe have their purpose in their pain.

So while I believe that the devil will continue to plant in my head the lies like, “I am insecure” that I will unknowingly believe for any course of time, I KNOW that God will give purpose and blessing to those lies.   

There is POWER in setting those lies straight.  There is POWER in discovering our TRUTH.

Jesus, who said, “I AM the way, the truth and the light” (John 14:6) will give us our TRUTH as long as we have ears that are open to hear it.

So I encourage you today, to stop, breathe and pray for greater awareness of who you really ARE.  Pray that all lies will be made true again. 

Shape the TRUTH of who you are by using the words, “I AM _______” and start repeating it to yourself every day, several times a day.  Shaping this TRUTH can be just another way that God will be revealed in you. 

“I AM sent me to you.” 

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Looking in the Mirror Naked

Looking in the Mirror

My role as a health coach is incredibly rewarding.  I get to connect with a group of intelligent, brave, incredible women who are willing to open themselves up to me (often times someone they’ve never met) with their hopes, dreams and insecurities about their bodies and their health.

While I’ve had to get over my own insecurities about feeling “fit enough” or “healthy enough” to actually offer advice to anyone else, I know that this role is something I was designed for.  It is part of my Greater Purpose.  I’m not perfect at it, by any means, but I am learning so much about myself in the ways that I serve others.  God blesses me and I praise Him for that.

As was the case just yesterday with one of my clients.  I’m not going to name any names, of course, but this client is particularly beautiful on the inside and out.  I just love our weekly “Google Hangout” sessions and getting to see her face and just talk about her big dreams she is so capable of accomplishing for her body!  She is one client that is considering doing a bikini competition and I am so excited for her and to be able to coach her in a BALANCED way to this monster goal and not losing sight of having a strong mindset and strong spirit along the way.  Essentially, I am hoping to accomplish with her what I myself could not do.  There is something really beautiful about this opportunity for us both!

 

Over the weekend, I got an email from her with some recent snap shots of her body for what are called “Progress Pictures”.  I think progress pictures are incredibly valuable to the health journey not because it’s easy or even enjoyable to stare at yourself in the mirror and even (gasp!) share these images with another person, but because there is power in being able to look back and see how far you’ve come.  Somehow it’s a step in Faith, saying “I know this is how I look now, but I also know this is not how I’m going to look in the future.  So I’m brave enough to take the pictures now so I can one day see how far I’ve come.”  Again, it’s a challenge, but can be a really rewarding practice.

In fact, I think that is also the benefit of doing “Mind” and “Spiritual” versions of “progress pics” by doing things like journaling and written prayer journals, just so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I highly recommend adding these practices for anyone looking to make some health changes!

 

But, back to the story, my client took the pictures and sent them to me and the email inevitably had some remarks about her “flawed” body parts and imperfections.  I related heavily to how she was feeling.  I think every woman on the planet can relate to this.  It is so challenging to stare at ourselves in the mirror without starting into a tirade against our body “flaws.”    Why is it so hard for every woman?!  Fat, skinny, short, tall, fit, thin –we all have things we don’t love about ourselves!

To me, the answer is the same answer it has been for me since that 2nd grade story I shared not long ago. My mind, and the lens through which I see my body, is the flawed part–not my body itself.  There are LIES that wreck havoc over my eyeballs and that tell me all the reasons why “I’m not good enough.”

 

So, I sent my client an email back but I felt as though I was really writing this email to myself.  Since I knew it was something that I needed to remind myself of and certainly knew this was something my client needed to remind herself of, then I can only assume that this might be something that YOU need to remind yourself of too.

 

So, here’s what I wrote:

Yes, I saw your pictures!

So, here’s what I see.  I see YOU and your beautiful body!  I also see that you are getting “nervous” because you are now seeing your body as the “flaws” that they are and what all will need to change by the time you hit the stage.

This is exactly what I did and exactly what I see so many women in this world do.
We think that in order to “motivate” ourselves, we need o focus on our flaws and fix them.  This is the equivalent of “hating your body to change it.”
It can work.  But the way it works is all negative and will suck the life right out of you.  It will make the next year of your life miserable and hard.
So, you’re not going to learn to love your body once it changes.  You have to learn to love your body now.  Just as it is.    Only from LOVING your body will you be able to set out and change it for the good of your soul.  To make a change in your body and your health, you will have to seek ways to become a better you and to do so from a place of LOVE not HATE.  Otherwise, it will suck the love right out of you.
So HOW do you do that? How do you love your body now?!   
Honestly, it’s a day by day and moment by moment, CHOICE that you’ll have to make.   It is a change that you’ll need to find deep in your soul to the the point that it can actually change your mindset too.
How do you love yourself?
First, by recognizing you are LOVED by God.  God IS love.
god-is-love
Think of the things that you love in this life.  You have love that should feel almost effortless right?   That feeling—God created that.  That feeling IS God.  When you feel that love it means you are feeling God within you.  What’s different about the love you feel for others and the love God has for you is that God’s love for you in unconditional.  You have it no matter what.  You can not earn it, you can not give it away.  What you need in your life is to simply embrace this love.
Right now, there are some walls blocking you from feeling this LOVE when you look at yourself.  These walls cause a darkness over your heart.  The walls might be from past pains you’ve experienced, or by comparing yourself now to the girls you saw at the show, or simply from LIES in your head that you’ve believed your whole life.  These LIES are from the devil and he is so smart and tricky and has made you believe these things are “normal” in your head.  They are not.
They are lies.  Fear is a liar.  Always remember that.
So, to turn away from these LIES and TOWARD LOVE you have to go out and seek it.  You have to practice love and make it a habit.  You will find that your spirit and mind will grow into this the more you practice it.  But it will be an everyday challenge that you have to choose to engage in.

Forming Habits of Self Love:

  1.  Pray to God and ask that His love fill you up and pour over and make you see the love for yourself too.  Building a relationship with God cultivates love with Him and then love for yourself.
  2. Replace all negative self talk with positive.  Every time you catch yourself wanting to be negative about your body, choose to repeat a positive love affirmation.  “I choose to love my body today”  or “Love conquers all”.  Something sweet and meaningful to you.
  3. Read Spiritual passages about love in scripture.  Search to understand what love is more and what Love God has for you.
  • Here’s some of my favorites:
  • Ephesians 3:17-19
  • Romans 8:28-30
  • 1 Corinthians 13:13
  • 1 John 4:8
  • Matthew 6:25
Take a moment to look these up and write down what they mean for you.  Meditate on them and seek ways for you to believe they are true.
      4.   Read other books, poetry, and podcasts etc that will help you remember to love yourself or just be inspired.
I love the new Oprah book “What I Know For Sure” where she does these short articles from her O magazine.  You could read one a day and really feel the benefit.
Here’s an excerpt that made me think of you just now.  She was talking about her constant struggle with dieting and her body (we can all relate).  What I Know For Sure
“I sat up one crisp, sunny morning and made a vow to love my heart.  To treat it with respect.  To feed it and nurture it.  To work it out and then let it rest.  And then one night when I was getting out of the tub, I glanced in the full-length mirror.  For the first time, I didn’t launch into my self criticism.  I actually felt a warming sense of gratitude for what I saw.  My hair braided, not a stitch of makeup on, face clean.  Eyes bright, alive.  Shoulders and neck strong and firm.  I was thankful for the body I lived in.
I did a head-to-toe assessment, and though there was plenty of room for improvement, I no longer hated part of myself, even the cellulite.  I thought, ‘This is the body you’ve been given–love what you’ve got’.”
          
Other books:
Jesus Calling, Laura Young
Awaken the Gian Within, Tony Robbins
How you can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay
The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Choose to start this today!  We are going to work through this SELF LOVE just as we are working through this BODY CHANGE.  By doing this, your experience will be a drastically different one than most will experience.  It will be a world different from MY own show too.
I am so excited to be a part of this!!  But again, this is a PROCESS!  It will take bit by bit to make any change –body, mind and soul.  All you have to do is be present to this very moment, and commit to the next step that GOD lays out ahead of you.
Love you!
M”
For anyone else that read this and can relate, I’d love to hear ways that you cultivate your own self love? Please comment below!  I know we all need reminders of things we can do to keep these LIES in our head at bay and start seeing ourselves the way God does!
I know for sure, that the process of sharing and engaging in God more because of these insecurities is the exact reason why we struggle with them to begin with! So in spite of it always seeming like a never-ending battle, it really is a blessing in disguise because of how much it will bring us closer to God.
IMG_0861

 

 

 

Categories
Goal Development Spiritual Health Uncategorized

BREAKING-UP IS POWERFUL TO DO, PART DEUX

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do II

 

As life would have it, I am finding more and more of my true calling in this effort of writing, blogging and health coaching.   It came to me a while ago, but I have realized that my Greater Purpose of this calling of writing these articles are not just for you (although I earnestly hope that you do get some sort of lesson or inspiration out of them) but really a lot of this calling is about ME and gaining some necessary wisdom in my life.

So, as it naturally happens, as I start to put pen-to-paper, or more aptly, fingers-to-keyboard, I start to expose more and more things that I need to focus on and work on.

As was the case when I started to write the blog last week that was just posted yesterday. I have always been so aware of the power that my husband’s and my history holds. I love our love story. I have fully embraced the convoluted, roller-coaster-ride rollercoaster of loveof our history as part of what makes our relationship so powerful today!

I can fully embrace the imperfect ways that we tried and tried to get it (W)right to no avail only to finally, FINALLY, realize what was the missing issue the entire time ——-> BIG MAN himself, G.O.D.

I spoke yesterday that I clearly placed Howard and my relationship ahead of God when I would obsess and worry and try harder and harder.

And as I was journaling these thoughts in our story for yesterday, it all of a sudden hit me like a dagger right between my eyes.

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, everyday.”

“Obsessed with trying to be enough.”

“Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter.”

These are the EXACT phrases that I could easily put into place regarding my relationship with my body and food as well.

It’s not so shocking, of course, because I’ve already admitted to this behavior, especially when it was at it’s peak as I was training to do a bikini competition.

But I can admit now that these SAME feelings and obsession with my body were still very present  when I was planning for my wedding. It was another BIG DAY and I had a lot self pressure to look the best I’ve ever looked, naturally.

I am proud of myself that I did NOT resort to extreme tactics this go round and still treated my body in a much more health-centered way.

 But the truth is that mentally, I was just as consumed (if not more so) with worry and fret as I have been before. I hired not 1 but 2 health coaches myself, hired a personal trainer, logged my food every day, paid for extensive body fat measurements and the whole bit.

wedding-day-weight

 Again,

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, every day.”

 “Obsessed with trying to be enough”

 “Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter”

The results were just about the same as those 6-years of dating Howard. I could try as hard as I wanted but it wasn’t going to change much.   I lost maybe 5 lbs and a few body fat % in the entire year that I was working toward my wedding body. For a WHOLE YEAR, with literally thousands of hours logged with worry, obsession and fret,  and all I lost was a measly 5lbs.

(Can someone make a t-shirt with that on it perhaps?   “I spent 1,000 of mental hours and 1,000 of dollars for this body and all I lost were these 5lbs?”)

Don’t get me wrong, I am quite pleased with how I looked on my wedding day, but I was a little exhausted that day too from all that build up and WORRY, which I have to admit was 80% about my BODY more than about the wedding itself!   Also, don’t EVEN get me started on the fact that it took a full 10-minutes and 4 women to zip up my gosh darn dress?!  How’s that for a confession?! UGHHHHHH.  Literally, I. Can’t. Even.  I can't even

 

But, I digress….

So, it’s been almost 6-months since my wedding day, and I have been trying to pinpoint this emotion that I’ve been feeling ever since.

For the first time, in a long time, I am not obsessing over my body, I am not logging my meals, I am not tracking every workout and measuring the # of calories I’m burning or consuming.

But all of this new behavior has me feeling a mix of emotions. I feel relief that I don’t have to obsess so much any more, and yet, I’m kind of sad and lost unsure of this new phase with my body and relationship food and workouts.

 AND SO IT’S HIT ME……

 I’m in the middle of a break-up!

It’s not the same as what it was when Howard and I broke-up because I can’t physically break-up with my body.

But I realize now that I’ve broken-up with the relationship I had with my body!

Subconsciously and now more consciously I have exposed that I STILL have a tendency to put many things (i.e. idols) ahead of my relationship with God . These tendencies seem to manifest themselves in my mind the exact same way.

 I obsess, I worry, I try harder and yet it doesn’t produce the results I want.

But, for the first time ever, I am not treating my body the same way as I always have. I have some other things that are taking precedence (namely, my time with God, my husband and this business) over my workouts, body obsession and food.

This has meant that my workouts are much shorter (usually about 30 minutes, 3-4 days per week). I also don’t track my eating like I used to (simply because I don’t have time). I am not weighing myself very often at all. I am not even looking in the mirror as much anymore!  It’s kinda just “weird” for me.  It’s a me I don’t quite recognize and don’t know quite what to do with myself….as odd as that sounds!

This relationship I had with my body was around for much much longer than the relationship I had with Howard, so I’m expecting this break-up to take some time.   And just like it was when he and I broke-up,  I don’t know if I’m meant to get back together with that old me, or if I’m going to find a whole new relationship with my body that is a much better fit!

images

Either way, I know I’m at this in between phase of this break-up right now and I need to STAY IN THIS PHASE until I have clear direction.

THE POWER IN THIS BREAK-UP:

Now that I am conscious that I am in the middle of this “break-up” with the relationship with my body, I can offer you some insight into what this means for me. What I DON’T have is the actual lessons I’m going to learn. The reason is because I’m not over it yet and I’m feel as though I’m still healing.

But if you’re in this place with me, perhaps realizing that you too have a “bad relationship” with your body, food, or working out, then there ARE some things that I can offer.  Things that I KNOW within my soul that are helping through this break-up phase.

1. Doubt Gives Way to Faith:

The power of our idols is incredibly strong. Everyday that I think I have a God-centered, “healthy” relationship with my body, I will all of a sudden find myself in the pantry binge eating some fruit clusters and other treats and then immediately feeling the affects of guilt and mental punishment the rest of the day.  Sugar Addiction (or any food/drink/substance addiction) can be a very real idol that we serve before we serve God.

But what I know is that just when I doubt I will ever be strong enough to beat my sugar addiction, in comes these waves of Faith that I know that God is stronger than anything and everything in this world.   God over EverythingI can put my trust and hope in God and He will help me beat this body idol and reengage in a new relationship with my body.  I can remember all the other hard things I’ve had to give up (anyone read my WINE-O series?!) and how much God has truly pulled me through once I SURREND’hered it to Him.

2. Fulfillment comes from God alone:

Just like I had learned the hard way from my break-ups with Howard, I am seeing this pop-up again in my break-up with my old relationship with my body. I was trying to find fulfillment from my body and my health instead of truly finding fulfillment from God. I know that this break-up will serve as the necessary time for me to reengage with God as my sole provider. To SURREND’her more and more to Him. To truly make Him the center of ALL of my life, not just part-of my life.

3.These Feelings of “Falling Apart” are what is going to lead to the Spiritual Break-Through I need:

[Full Disclosure] I am very, very uncomfortable in this ‘break-up phase’ with my body. A large part of me feels like I’m really GIVING-UP on my body.  410461022227339120_1382633488I have fear that it’s going to all go down hill. I have so much guilt about not working out as much or dieting as hard core as I used to and fear that all this is going to lead me to be a big fat hypocrite on this forum of “speaking about health” all while looking chubby. I am still struggling daily with the feelings of how I should be “trying harder.”

But, what I’m doing about these fears is not “trying harder,” I’m just praying harder. I’m journaling a ton and praying all day long about this body and this life and asking God to use me in these new ways. To heal my mind and body and soul. I know this is exactly the right course.

I am encouraged by the signs that God is giving me for motivation to keep “praying through”. One such sign is from the book I keep talking about, The Circle Maker. The author Mark Batterson gave me a very strong reminder when he said, “If you want to experience a super natural break-through, you have to pray through. But as you get closer to the break-through it often feels like you’re about to lose control, about to fall apart. That is when you need to press in and pray through.”

Pressing-on and praying through is what I intend to do!

4. I’m Grateful for my Imperfections:

I can find joy and gratitude in every difficult thing that I encounter in life. My very struggles in life are the things that keep me leaning on God and keep me looking to Him more and more. My imperfections are the gateway to the true blessings that I’ll receive from this relationship I’m building with God. I know I will never be perfect and this battle with my body and with food will be a lifelong battle. But I can be grateful for that because it means that I will always stay close to God. I can “sacrifice of a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord” (Psalm 116:17)

url

5. I can Praise Him NOW for what will be:

I can also know that because I’m giving Him this problem He has already answered my prayer. He has already delivered me from this idol of my body and food and He has offered me a new relationship with my body that better serves my Greater Purpose. I can Praise Him for answering this prayer and just wait for this answer to be revealed to me. I know there will come a time and I’ll “just know” what direction to take and I’ll keep taking steps that He leads me.   Thank you God for this.

So, while I do wish I had more answers for YOU I hope you don’t mind me opening up more about my struggles and how I’m really not much of an “expert” yet on how to enter into a healthy relationship with your body.

What I do encourage you to do is to self-assess your current relationship you have with your body too!

Q: How do you see your body?

Q: Do you put part of your quest for health or your body before God?

Q: What are the mental cues that recognize as your blocks (i.e. do you obsess, worry, avoid, abuse, or hate your body?).

Q: Can you find ways to use God in those areas and “pray-through” this barrier it plays in your heart and soul.   Think of the best ways that you can give this to God (prayer, friends, journaling etc)

Also, I do I highly suggest reading The Circle Maker the_circle_maker_zv_largeand journaling a lot more to expose some of your own idols in your life! It might not just be your body or health, it is likely quite a few things! Give them ALL UP! Keep SURREND’hering .

 

In Love and Healing,

 

Amanda

 

 

Categories
Uncategorized

Breaking-Up is Powerful To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The other day I gave a little snippet of how my husband and I met. It was some good ol’ self-deprecating humor about how my husband was actually attracted to the very assets (no pun intended) that I had perceived as my worst flaws (i.e. my big ol’ booty).

I told the story about how we first met and gave the rather evasive ellipses and the cliche of “the rest is history!”

Well, ha! That history was anything but just 3 small dots . . .

Actually if each of those dots represented the number of times we would break-up, then yes, that is quite accurate! But it would be a tumultuous 6-years of dating on-and-off before we would be engaged and then married on lucky year #7. In fact, we married on the exact date that we met at the restaurant I told you about in my last blog.

It was anything but “first comes love, then comes marriage” il_340x270.468855362_s7edin your typical RomCom (Romantic Comedies). You could liken it much more to the yo-yo dating a la Carrie and “Mr. Big” of Sex and the City.

Each break-up was excruciatingly painful for me. Howard had been trapped in his own mental battle of “lies” that had convinced him that he wasn’t capable of successfully being married. A product of both his childhood history, his own divorce, and the dozens of divorces he witnessed of many of his closest friends. Some of them even found that their spouse was having an affair using reverse phone lookup.

That being said, even if things did not work out in the end, a divorce is nowhere near as traumatic or as stigmatized as it used to be. For instance, I know plenty of couples that have managed to split amicably. Most arguments during divorce proceedings tend to focus on the division of assets. However, most of my friends that have been divorced have always used a prenuptial agreement to ensure that their assets were divided fairly. One thing I will say though is that if you are considering getting a prenuptial agreement before marriage, it is vital that you contact a team of prenup lawyers first to make sure that your prenup is accurate and valid.

As for my now-husband though, he had a very fear-based way of living and looking at relationships. His viewpoint, sadly, is actually very common in America. It’s not just America who feels this way, there are many people around the world who feel this way about marriage, for example in the United Kingdom, where the divorce rate is around 40%, there are some couples who look to law firms that are in the Specialist Divorce business in order to end their marriages. There are others who believe that marriage isn’t needed to maintain a happy relationship with their partner.

But, being the hopeless optimist that I have always been, I saw so much more in him and knew what we had was special.

Even so, I was caught in my own “fear-based” mindset, constantly worrying about our relationship too. Thinking about him non-stop and wondering where it was all “going” and if he “really loved me” or not.
I always worried that I was never enough for him and never enough to save our relationship.

PicsArt_1382371149552

Call these fears of intuition or more likely a self-fulfilling prophecy, but after about 6-months of things going seemingly fine for us, I would start to panic and squeeze tighter just as Howard would start to panic and pull-away. Causing us to break-up.

These break-ups felt like my heart was shattering.

But what was so surprising, was that I quickly came to realize that I was not indeed shattered or broken. I think myself lucky that unlike some people I didn’t jump straight into marriage and have to use Colorado Springs Process Server to issue my partner with divorce papers each time.

In a beautiful irony is that in those moments of feeling so heart-broken, my heart was actually being healed and remolded into a better way.

It was during these periods of heart break that I (slightly at first) began to lean on God as well as learn more about myself!

God tremendously blessed these times for me.

I found some of my best friends and grew much closer with my family;
I found my body’s strength and my passion for fitness;
I found some necessary wisdom from seeking a therapist for over 3-years to figure out my own fear-based and insecure mind;
I found out a lot about myself through the various jobs and “life searching” I was doing.

What was happening in these breaks of our relationship are what I now call “LIFE!”

I learned things that I would not have necessarily learned had I still been so mentally consumed by my relationship with Howard.

It was easy for me say that Howard’s commitment phobia was the issue, but I began to realize that was not true.

I was just as responsible for the relationship not working out (yet). I had my own fear-based issues that clearly needed some Divine Molding to turn me into “wife” worthy.

As I was learning this, I must admit it was very easy to get ahead of myself too. To think that just a few months of “soul searching” would fix both him and I. So each time we would get back together, I would think, “Ok God, we did all the work we needed to do! This time this is it!”

But nope…..we would fall back into our old fear-based habits. Howard would pull-away. I would worry and obsess. We’d break-up. Yo-Yo dating.

Finally, after our 3rd break-up, feeling shame from the “fool me twice” adage, I reached my breaking point. I was done. It was at this moment of feeling “done” that I found my word SURRENDER and I was finally learning to live it too.

I started to attend a new church in my home town of Greeley, Coloraod – Christ Community Church, and began to experience some remarkable spiritual revelations and God Winkmiracles. The Pastor of the Church, Alan Kraft would somehow preach sermons that were exactly what I needed to hear at that day. This is something I’ve heard called a “God Wink”, where you feel as though God has just blessed you with a little coincidence or miracle with a “wink” ;-).

It was at this time , that I was finally entering into a personal, deep relationship with God. Where I learned to SURREND’her my heart for GOD to fill, instead of waiting for some man to come and do it. I finally let down enough guards around my heart making God truly able to heal me.

I would find that God was doing the same for Howard.

A series of big events for Howard along with years of counseling, allowed him to finally realized I was “the one.” God enabled him to break himself free from the lies he’d convinced himself of for so long and gave him the courage to fly out to Denver and beg me to be his wife.

When he found me again, he found a new me. I was not the same “fear-based” woman I had been. God had truly changed all that. While I certainly needed several weeks to pray and contemplate whether I could really forgive Howard and accept some new developments in our life as well as commit to the biggest decision of my life and become his wife, having the fulfillment of God’s love in my heart made all of those decisions possible.

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.”

-2 Corinthians 1:20

The time apart had allowed a beautiful release of the expectation that he or any man had previously been expected to fill. Because I was filled to the brim with God’s love I was able to release Howard from the role of having to fill those empty holes and neediness I had before.

As much as my heart bursts from the amount of love I receive from my husband now, it does not compare to the love and fulfillment I feel from God’s love.

Which makes sense, because God IS love. Cup Runneth OverAny love that I give and receive from Howard just makes my “cup runneth over.”

You might be wondering, ok Mandi, that is a pretty great love story and all, but what does this have to do with HEALTH?

Well, a lot actually!

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow as I expand further on the Power of the Break-Up in LOTS or areas of our life!!