Tag: Love

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Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

From Pieces to Peace — 7 Distinguishing Signs You’re Living Your Greater Purpose

God Is Within Her 

The other day, I opened up about a time where I very blatantly ignored the voice of God within me when I decided to push myself to do a Bikini Competition.   As challenging as it is to open up about such private stories, I was surprised to find relief and even joy in divulging this to you.

You see, because I am where I am now and since I have done ALL the work I have done, I look back at that time, which was just about 2-years ago, and am beyond thankful that I had those dark days so I can fully relish and realize the light that I feel today.

It makes me weep almost daily at the beauty of what I feel inside. Make no mistake, my life is not perfect and I am still learning hard lessons every day, but the difference I am feeling TODAY versus how I was feeling just 2-years ago, feels like light years away.
It is as though the missing pieces of my soul have finally clicked into place.   As though the puzzle that was broken into a confusion of scattered pieces has finally started to come together to reveal the picture they were destined to—the picture of my heart.Pieces of Heart

I have gone from pieces to peace.

I have found the freedom and peace that I believe only comes from SURREND’hering myself the path to my Greater Purpose in life. By mustering the courage and bravery of changing my habits and refocusing my path, I now live a life that feels so full.  How different it feels than just 2 years ago.

I pray earnestly that all women (and men) might find this strength and peace.

I pray for the women who are lost, just as I was, and are trying desperately to create their own “Purpose” in this life.

Like I was, women who are suffering from their own ways and are coping with this suffering with endless cocktail hours, hook-ups, gossip, body and beauty obsession and more.

Like I was, women who think that if they can only accomplish Goal “X”,  they will be happy.  Only to find that Goal “X” just leads to a hamster wheel of new goal after new goal. Going faster and trying harder but getting nowhere and feeling no happier.

Like I was, women who think they have to create their own destiny and find their own Purpose and set out to create lists, and plans, and vision boards to get “there”, only to find there is no “there”, there.There there

 

As I explained the other day there are clear signs that we are on the path to our Greater Purpose or a path of our own choosing.

Greater Purpose, as I see it, is our destiny, our calling, and the WHY in our lives.

 Mark Twain Quote

There is so much we can go out an conquer in this world! There are endless opportunities that await us and so many challenges we can take head on!

HOWEVER, finding the Spiritual alignment of our Greater Purpose FIRST is the key to developing the right short-term and long-term goals to lead you to a life you dream of.

So, how do you know if you’re following God’s Greater Purpose or Your Own Path?

Using my experience from 2-years ago versus how I live my life NOW, I’ll explain the:

7 Distinguishing Signs You’re Living Your Greater Purpose:

  1. #1

God has a unique plan for your life but you must develop a relationship with Him in order to see the steps ahead. Time spent in prayer is key, but also allowing your life to fall into place as it is supposed to is key as well. Showing you can Surrend’her control to Him. You can tell something is in God’s plan when it all feels like it’s falling into place with little or no effort of your own. It does not mean it’s easy, but God will provide you the tools with each step.

When I decided to do my bikini competition I didn’t consult God to ask if I should do the show. I made my decision and theennnn prayed to God to help me do it, big difference! I heard God’s voice telling “I didn’t have to”, but I brushed it off  to justify my own ways of thinking. My process of training kept hitting wall after wall too. My body had to be pushed very hard to lose the amount of body fat that I did. While I expect a challenge from God’s path too, there is a difference between a challenge God gives me and the challenge I faced when trying to force my body to change so drastically.

Now, I am challenged every day to overcome my fears and tendency to worry about what people think of me, but I defeat those fears because I know God has called me to do this. God has put me on this path and God is more powerful than any fear or difficulty. My life is challenged but in a way that still gives me peace and hope that I am on the right path.

 

2.

#2

The path of your Greater Purpose is not presented to you on a map where you see exactly where it will lead. No, God just takes you day by day making you focus just on the next step of the path. Living intimately connected to Him in your soul allows you to see things just as they are right now, in the present moment. He will offer you refuge, patience, love, joy, understanding, awareness, wisdom etc if you see it in the moment you are in. Practicing this with Him allows you to live more fulfilled and aware of all that you are blessed with in this very moment, allowing your worries about “tomorrow” to fall by the way side.

When I was prepping for my bikini competition all I could think and fantasize about what what it was going to be like when this process was over. Dreaming of the day of the show, what I would get to eat, and how I was going to feel. Day by day, I was a walking hollow shell and felt I was floating through life hardly connecting to anyone or anything in my path.

Now, I still have no idea where this Greater Purpose may lead me, my marriage or lead this business, but I have faith and strong hope that God will see me/us through, and it will be Good.

 

3.

#3

 

The human side of us always tries to tie our relevance in life to what we do for a living. While our jobs are what we spend a great majority of our time doing, our Greater Purpose is how we perform our jobs and how we live our life outside of our jobs too. Our Greater Purpose flows from our soul outward which means it starts in the areas of our character, our core values and our personality.   These define us more than our job title.

When I was in competition mode, I was living a life of a weakened spirit. The values I was living by were self control, conformity, belonging, introversion and unworthiness. None of the values that I aspire to live out for my Greater Purpose now.

Now, I focus on the values God calls me to live— Love, Health, Integrity, Empathy, Service to Others, and Obedience. I would describe my calling and my Greater Purpose by these words that guided me to in my Core Values Exercise. (click link to receive the Core Value Exercise)

 

4.

#4

 

Our life is meant to be lived and shared with others. Loving and serving others and caring about those around you, not just in the physical sense, but caring about their spiritual well being as well.

When I was in competition mode, I had no real time to think about other people. I could only muster the energy to make it through my 2-hour workouts and my 5-6 meals of protein and supplements and really had no time to fellowship with my friends, family or even strangers.

This was the part I hated the most and the part I cringe at when I see other friends competing. All I talked about with my friends was me, my diet, my workouts, how I’m feeling, what I need to work on still…… me me ME! I got so sick of talking about ME.

Now, when I’m on the phone with my health coaching clients, I get so much joy from hearing more about them. I find more purpose in listening than in speaking. While my Greater Purpose is also tesJames-1-192ting my own voice (both written and verbally), I am always reminded to be quick to listen and slow to speak. It is a challenge for me, but I value learning first, teaching second.

 

 

 

 

5.

#5

 

When God sets you on your path to your Greater Purpose you feel secure and so motivated in your daily life that it gives you such forbearance and patience to help propel you through the day. Although, you may not know where you path is leading tomorrow, you have a calm sense of knowing that what you’re doing is Right.

When I was in competition mode, I was impatient, irritable, and cranky with the slowness of life. I could not wait for each day to get over and I could not wait for the day of the show. This impatience certainly contributed to the more and more drastic actions I took to get me to the stage.

Now, while I can’t say I love being patient, I certainly have learned to appreciate it. Living in the present focuses my mind on my true motivation and what I should be doing. This activity naturally builds patience to result because I have less time to worry about what will be….I am swept up in the power of now.

 

6.

#6

 

God will reveal to you exactly the thing you should be working on and strengthening. He offers times of work and times of rest that allow a balanced approach to you life. Following His Greater Purpose path, you’ll find that as you rest some areas of your life for short periods, you can be engaging and growing other areas that will need tending to. Listening for His guidance allows you to live a balanced life.

When I was training, I was only focused on one thing—my body. I did not rest my body, nor did I have time to strengthen any other part of my life—like my mind or my spirit. My emotions were burnt out, and I felt off balance.

Now, I find time to work on all three areas of my life- Body, Mind and Soul. I’ll put “work” on my body (via exercise or by focusing intently on my diet) and then rest that stress. While Im resting my body, I find ways to engage my mind. To rest my mind, I find ways to open my spirit and surrender more. Once I feel spiritually restored, I can go back to putting work into my body! It all flows together in a balanced approach and balanced life.

Even though my life feels like a whirlwind of travel and being on the go, I feel much more “together” than I ever have before.

7.

#7

 

When you full embrace and Surrend’her to God’s path for you, you can fully realize and see that you have very little to do with how your life really plays out. You realize how small you are and how Great God is. Even in our inner strengths, character and values we have, God is responsible for this awareness and for these unique characteristics all coming together to create the masterpiece that you are.

When I was in competition mode, I put all the ownership on myself. That I was solely responsible for what I was able to achieve. It put a lot of pressure on myself and perfectionist way of thinking.

Now, I can live a life free from that burden because I realize and appreciate how much God really take care of. That I don’t need to take the ownership of every detail because He will do it in a better way than I could anyway.

Looking for the path of your Greater Purpose is a challenge and I hope you all can see you’re probably on the right path in some areas of your life, but may be holding on to other areas as your own.  I encourage you to take a deep look at ALL of your life and see if you have truly SURREND’hered it all or have held on to some pieces.  More will be revealed to me, I know.  I’ll be looking out…..

 

 

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Categories
Fitness & Training Spiritual Health Uncategorized

[Part 4] Wine Not?! How did I WINE-D Up Here?

You’ll find that a consistent theme in my writing and teaching on health is the importance of reaching the Spiritual Connection to any change you wish you make in your life, even your health goals. I believe it is not until you reach this pivotal moment of spiritual alignment that you can finally make a LIFE change, not just a short-term, will-power dependent, kind of change.

Over the course of this week in my 5-Part Series called “Wine Not?!”, I’ve charted the path at how I arrived at the life decision to step away, or as I said, “break-up” with my relationship with WINE.

This decision first started for me with some physical ramifications (which I explained on Tuesday‘s blog), which lead to some logical assessment and some tougher questions to answer (which I explained on Yesterday‘s blog).

Today, I want to go over how it all finally “clicked into place” as I explain how I reached a Spiritual Connection to the act of avoiding wine.

I believe it’s worth explaining here exactly what I mean when I say “Spirit” and exactly what I mean when I say “Spiritual Connection or Alignment.”

What Is Your Spirit?

As I’ve struggled to fully articulate the complexity that is our Spirit, I think I have settled on this finite explanation, for now:

To me, our Spirit is our Truest Essence and Being. It is our inner compass that directs our lives and guides each decision we make. It is the home to our values, our virtues, and our character. It can be both our Light and our Darkness.

Our Spirit is the place where God dwells, waiting for us to call on Him. It is also where the Evil One dwells, hoping we’ll believe his lies.

Our Spirit is not always in our consciousness and most people live their entire lives having never awakened their mind to their Spiritual being.

Spiritual Consciousness:

I am not actually referring at all to RELIGIOUS BELIEFS when I’m talking about being guided by our Spirit.

I don’t in fact believe that religion itself actually guides anyone to a conscious spirituality. In spite of growing up in a healthy, faith-based home, going to church every Sunday and attending a Christian university, I can admit that I only came to my Spiritual Consciousness maybe 4-5 years ago.

While I have gone through stages of loving and hating attending church, it has been only by a shift in my Spiritual Alignment that I have truly CHANGED MY LIFE.

It has been a shift in my Spirit that has opened me up to the purpose of this great life……which is to have a personal relationship with God.

Religion does’t necessarily get you that relationship. Religion can often be caught-up in traditions and rules and guilt and fear. Religion is more man-made where as I know my Spirit was God-made.

Step 1: AWARENESS

Even so, just because I was now “conscious” of my Spirit in MOST areas of my life, it does not mean I was truly letting my “inner compass” guide me in ALL areas of my life.

What I was eating and what I was drinking were certainly never things that I thought I needed to consult my Spirit about. These were actions that were still relegated to the subconscious part of my being. All my eating and drinking habits (i.e. the Strict Binger person I was) were largely due to having a narrow and mainly negative focus on how I saw my body.

As I struggled to cut back my drinking, in spite of knowing it wasn’t having a good affect on my body, I started to ask myself these tough questions:

-Am I dependent on wine?
-Do I need wine to have fun?
-Do I need wine to make people to like me?
-Do I need wine to like people?
-Do I need wine to feel like myself?

 

After some deeper connecting, I realized the reason why I was still resorting to drinking wine even when I was “trying to stop” was because of one truth:

I BELIEVED THE ANSWER TO ALL THOSE QUESTIONS WAS—-> yes_logo

 

That is not to say the answer IS yes to all of those questions. (The answer to all those questions is indeed a strong NO, I have found).

But, I was subconsciously believing that I was dependent on wine on a Spiritual level.

Somewhere, deep in my soul, there were still some lies that I was believing about myself. Lies that were telling me I needed a chemically induced way to truly alleviate stress. Lies that told me I needed a drink to have fun. Lies that were telling me that those around me would like me more when I’m drinking. Lies that were telling me I needed wine to feel like my real self.

LIES

LIES

LIES

 

They are LIES in my head and they are LIES in your head too. Whatever your “thing” is that you just can‘t seem to give up, in spite of suffering some body or mental consequence because of it, is because of some set of LIES you continue to believe in your Spirit. Whatever reason you give yourself for not being able to DO anything, is a lie. Because I’m here to tell you, LOUD AND CLEAR,

THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN’T DO, IF YOU DO IT WITH GOD.

Exposing these LIES through simple awareness and spiritual consciousness is the first step to replacing them with the TRUTH about you and the TRUTH about whatever it is you’re trying to change.

STEP 2: REATTACHMENT

Once I become aware of these lies, I couldn’t just tell myself to STOP BELIEVING THE LIES.

Ha! If only it were so easy.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

The only thing that casts out LIES is the TRUTH.

The truth is I CAN de-stress without wine. I CAN be fun at dinner without getting lubricated. Others WILL like me even if I’m not drinking and they are.

MY Truth, was that I was not put on this earth to be dependent on anything except my relationship with God. Not my husband, not my mom and not any of that Good Juice I call Wine.

I needed to REATTACH myself to my Greater Purpose in my life and see things how for their TRUTH.

Each one of us has a Greater Purpose. This is the term that I use to describe your destiny, your calling or basically your God-given purpose.

Each of us is built with our unique DNA, our unique character and our unique set of core values that all live within our Spirit. We find our Greater Purpose when we can SURREND‘her these spiritual gifts to God and align ourself on His path, not our own.

As I was drinking and depending on WINE so much, I realized this was because I was attaching this act to some old, subconscious VALUES of mine:

  • People-Pleasing
  • Approval
  • Harmony
  • Conformity
  • Meekness

 

But the Greater Purpose set of values I have identified from my Conscious Spirit (i.e. from God) are:

 

  • Health
  • Faith
  • Integrity
  • Love
  • Obedience
  • Serving Others

 

(BONUS, If you’re interested in investigating in YOUR Core Values to live your Greater Purpose, click HERE to receive my 6-Steps to Values Based Living straight to your inbox!)

When I REATTACHED my decision of drinking to my Greater Purpose set of values, my decision was much easier to make.

  • In Health, I’ll limit my intake to none or just 1 glass at a time to avoid the body consequences of drinking.
  • In Faith, I remind myself of ALL that I’m put on this earth to do, which right now includes a habit of getting up at 530am every day to have some quiet time and to practice the art of writing. Having to get up so early means that I DON’t want to have a foggy brain or headache the next day from drinking.
  • In Integrity, I’ll remind myself that if I say I’m going to do something, I need to follow-through and do it. Making promises to myself and breaking them is not allowed in this value.
  • In Love, I realized how slippery a slope alcohol can be to my relationships. Drinking always increases the chances of arguments or feelings getting hurt. Out of love for others and love for myself, I don’t want wine to be the excuse for these things.
  • In Obedience, I want to be actively obedient to my divine intuition. I want to obey what is coming from my spirit so I might avoid hurtful pathways that don’t serve my Greater Purpose. I want to be obedient for the blessings that come from that.
  • In Serving Others, I know that my Greater Purpose is to

    “Let my light shine before others, that they may see (my) good deeds and glorify (my) Father in heaven.“ (Matthew 5:16)

Put another way from Gandhi, I want to,

“Be the change I wish to see in the World”

I don’t want to see a world that suffers from alcohol addiction or dependence any more. I want to see more people acknowledging their problems and accessing treatment from places like Enterhealth. What can I do? I can serve others by holding myself accountable first.

When we align these aspects of our life to what God wants for us, we find that tremendous blessing ensue. A feeling of peace waves over you as you realize you are doing exactly what you need to do.

If something in your life isn’t working for you any more, it is likely due to the fact that this habit or entity doesn’t actually fit into your Greater Purpose and the Godly given character and values you could be following. It is worth revisiting your values to reveal more about your Greater Purpose.

(Again, if you want my Values Based Living Guide, HERE’s the link again to have it sent to you)

Step 3: PRACTICE

After I was able to reattach, and thereby re-engage, my Greater Purpose based approach to this act of drinking wine, the only thing left for me to do was PRACTICE.

But, yes, I am talking about practice! Even after all this CLARITY and after all of my deeper connecting, nothing was going to change until I put it into PRACTICE.

Check me out tomorrow in the 5th and FINAL part of the series, as I detail how I put into practice ALL of this decision work and didn’t let it defeat all of my relationships and my social life!

It’s a good way to WINE-D down the series! You won’t wanna miss it!!

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

THE Miracle Moment | My Road to Becoming WISE’her

2015-02-21 17.52.58

Sitting here, steeped in the richness of beauty that is Maui, I cannot help but be in awe of what God has done, is doing, and will do for this us and this great earth. You see tiny slices of heaven in the way He decorated this Island and majesty in the volcanoes, rainforest and gorgeous turquoise waters. A true wonder.

For all that God has done for this earth, He has done much much more within us-within me. The way he can decorate your soul is of far greater beauty than anything we can see.

I see it now so clearly. The color of Love within me is bright and beaming and shines through my every pore. Reminds me of the passage:

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.” Matthew 6:22-23

My eyes have been shown a new light and it can’t be hidden nor forgotten. It came at a brilliant moment of clarity that after a week of relaxation, I feel I am ready share openly.

Here it goes…..

***************************************************************************************

“What are you so afraid of?” he asked.

The question caught me blindsided. Almost immediately, the tears started flowing down my cheeks.

“He” was Pastor Miles McPherson from The Rock Church in San Diego, CA. I was with my husband and the Pastor meeting in his office in a brief introduction for the first time. After 15-minutes of chit-chatting between he and my husband (who had known each other from years ago as young athletes in San Diego) we were heading out to let him get to his second of five sermons he would give that day.

As we were heading toward the door, he asked what I did for a living? I told him briefly about my virtual health coaching and the blog I was intending to start (i.e. this one) that would include not just the body (i.e. exercise and nutrition), but having a strong mind and also creating a stronger spirit with God at the center. I said something like “I’m really scared about it if you would pray for me.”

Hence, his question.

I was immediately overwhelmed because the question was more accurately “What am I NOT afraid of?”

I was afraid that I was a fraud. Afraid that I still didn’t look the part that people would respect. Afraid that I wouldn’t be good at writing. Afraid that I would put my faith out there and offend people…. or get made fun of…. or not taken seriously. I was afraid of failing. Afraid of disappointing God. Afraid that God had chosen the wrong person for this calling of writing. Afraid that I was still too heavy and I need to just keep focusing on losing weight first.

This place of fear and insecurity was not new for me, oh no! But with the tears came such disappointment and shame that this fear bubbling up yet again, in front of my Pastor and husband no less! Especially since I had been working SO hard trying to change my mindset about my body and really thought I was making some headway!

The other week on the blog, I shared what I would call a pivotal moment of my career in health. What Malcolm Gladwell would call a “Tipping Point.” After mentally torturing myself and my body to compete in a body building Bikini Contest for the purpose of finally feeling “accomplished” and “good enough” to be in the fitness industry, I was met with the most empty and sad feelings I had ever felt about my body. What I had expected to happen by getting the “perfect body” was almost the polar opposite of the feelings that I actually had when it was accomplished. (If you missed it, check out my last blog HERE)

This was what I know for sure as an experience in the wonder of God’s grace in life lessons. Love so richly poured out in the form of tough consequences when we don’t listen to His guidance. Consequences that certainly get our attention because they’ve just smacked us right in the face, and consequences we need in order to learn the lesson He wants us to.

As they say, “When you know better, you do better” and I decided that this experience of the competition was going to propel me to “do better” things for my body and in my practice of teaching others about health.

I knew I needed to change the way I thought about my body. I knew there was something not healthy about my thoughts and something overwhelmingly negative about how I saw myself. This was an epiphany for me because I have largely felt as though I was a very positive and kind person. But as is often the case, especially in women, where I am positive, kind and uplifting for others, I was begrudging, judgmental, and harsh on myself.

Being that I have always been a good student, I naturally set out to learn more about how I can improve my way of thinking. I began to devour blogs, online articles, magazines and books in search of some wisdom.

I learned a tremendous amount of information from fellow bloggers, notably Jen Comas Keck, Jill Coleman and the rest of the Girls Gone Strong group of women who all had very similar stories to mine of trying for years to “look the part” of something they thought they should be in the fitness industry, only to come out on the other side realizing there is so much more to life and fitness than that.

I also read countless books by authors with incredible insight and acumen. One very noteworthy example is the book Playing Big by the incredibly smart and talented Tara Mohr. Tara was the first to introduce me to the concept that we all have what she calls an “Inner Critic” which is the is the voice in our head that is critical, discouraging and keeps us “playing small”. I took it to mean that there was this natural negative side to all of us! It was a powerful book for me because I realized I clearly was not the only one that had this voice in my head that would discourage me from taking risks in life. Her booked helped me tremendously in taking more steps to writing this blog, even before I felt completely “prepared enough” to do it. Now, I feel like I could even be ready on starting to look at how to publish a book… Although I very well might need to get writing some more for that!

These great resources and clear knowledge I was learning from all of these women, I felt were slowly helping me finally learn to love my body and manage my insecurities. I thought I was making some great headway!

But, it was clear that just by one simple, yet profound question by Pastor Miles that day, I still was dealing daily with my battles of fear, insecurity, body image and some self loathing.

“What are you so afraid of?”

Although I mentally had a list a mile long, I of course didn’t say any of those things to Pastor Miles, but did stammer out something about “not knowing if I was going to be good enough or capable enough.”

Miles, with a strong sense of divine intuition, sat us both back down and started trying to get to the bottom of where all these fears had come from. He gave me a few rounds of questions trying to figure it out:

“Did your parents ever make you feel you were not good enough?”

Oh no, my parents are perhaps the most supportive and loving people I know.

“Do you have a learning disability or anything that really holds you back?”

Oh no, I’ve always been a good student, actually.

“Do you not like the way you look or something?”

Well no, not most of the time.

“When did you first start feeling this way?”

(Without much pause) Since second grade.

“Second grade??”

Yes, second grade.

I still remember it vividly. At eight years old, I was on the playground with two of my best friends. As a tall girl, I was always a head taller than everyone but I was also pretty curvy, with this bubble booty I have always had! One of my friends brought up my weight and the fact that she weighed 45 lbs-I weighed 60 lbs. And.That.Was.It.

That was the first time I felt huge and the first time I didn’t like that I was so much “bigger” than everyone else. In a funny way, it was not about my height as I didn’t mind being taller. It was always about my weight and being heavier, curvier and more noticeable for it all too. I got teased some, sure, but never really bullied severely. I became my own bully. I began desiring to “lose weight” starting in elementary school.

Pastor Miles looked at me and said, “You realize that this is how the devil works right? He gets inside our heads so early in life that you didn’t even know he was there. Since then, you have been living under this LIE in your head that was planted so very long ago. A lie you have been passively accepting as your truth because the devil is that good that he preys on the things that will get us the most.”

Wow, I had never thought about it that way.

This specific LIE of being “too big” and “not good enough” was not just not just any kind of insecurity- it was THE insecurity from which all others have stemmed. Was he saying that this lie was not from me or something that I created in my head, but it has been implanted by the enemy? It was not my fault?

Pastor Miles went on to explain that we actually have the power over the evil one in our thoughts. It is a power that God gave us but a power we must choose to engage. To cast out any lies or ways of thinking that is not from God. To put the evil back where it belongs.

He said what I was enduring my entire life was not a mental battle, but a SPIRITUAL battle!

Then, he and my husband took the time to stand and pray over me and pray out any thoughts of evil, pray out any more lies that I had been passively believing and that my soul might be restored to it’s rightful owner, God.

As they prayed over me, I was able to truly surrender my body and spirit to this new awareness and accept the prayer over me.

All of a sudden, I could feel the physical presence of God within me. It surfaced as small twitches in my eye. This physical sensation I have felt several times since, usually while praying, and a gift I am humbled to receive from God.

[Reflection: I feel that whenever I pray and I feel these eye twitches, God’s presence is doing this to “open the eyes of my heart” so I can see Him and see life through His gracious lens. It is a miracle and truly extraordinary, if not shocking, to experience. ]

Later that day, I thought back to all the roads that this LIE of being “too big” had led me down.

I remembered feeling big in my volleyball outfit and it affecting my play. Choosing friends growing up that I thought were better than me so I could feel more confident around them. Choosing bad guy after bad guy to date and expecting them to magically cure my low self-esteem. To periods of depression, eating disorders, and emotional bursts. To obsessing about food and thinking about my body literally all-day, every-day for as long as I can remember.

But on this day, for the first time in a long-time, I felt whole, complete and at peace. It dawned on me that this “inner critic” or negative voice of lies is not actually ME at all. There was no battle between the “bad” version of me and the “good” version of me.

I am good. In fact, I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139)

Embracing that love and embracing that fact turned on a light inside of me that had never felt so pure and so bright. This warming love spread through each capillary and nerve.

What was remarkable, was that it all mades sense now-intellectually speaking.

I “got it”. More than just an “aha” moment,

I had wisdom.

Each lie in my head had been acting as a brick building up a tall wall that was preventing my mind from fully understanding the depth of love God had for me and thus my ability to embrace the depth of love I have for myself.

Again, “But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Words of Jesus, Matthew 6:23)

The best part is that this battle was not mine to win. It is a battle that is Gods. It can all be changed in a moment–with a simple prayer. God has given me the strength all this time, but I just needed awareness and prayer to be able to do something about it. The same goes for you.

It is not quick fix. As pervasive as the enemy is, often times I revert back to my old ways of thinking without a blink of an eye. But that WISDOM I gained that day does not leave me and I am able to choose Faith again.

It is my choice to either believe the lies and go on living them, or to choose to live by Faith the way God truly made me. I pray daily that I might see myself clearly the way that God sees me. I pray that “Thy Word will be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105)

For those that might be reading this and don’t quite get it, or quite see why it was such a big deal to me, I completely understand your skepticism. I had been where you might be for over 30 years. There was even a time that I didn’t really believe in evil or the “devil” because I thought we are all responsible for our own sin and it was just our own ‘human nature’. But that’s exactly what the enemy wanted me to think. That it was just another thing that I did that wasn’t “good enough.” He might be smarter and trickier than me, but the Bible says that he doesn’t have more power than me.

” I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” (Luke 10:19)

On this day, I seized that power. A true miracle.

But there’s more……..

A week later or so, Pastor Miles went to a big church in Dallas, Texas and delivered a sermon on this exact topic. If you would like to watch this funny and incredibly gifted pastor give this message, I have attached the link. (Fast forward to 37:18 for those that don’t want to watch the music)

http://www.daystar.com/ondemand/video/?video=3979777751001#.VMZT-dPDXjc.gmail

You’ll notice toward the end that he actually makes mention of a girl who had been “believing lies since 2nd grade.” He was talking about me.

See this was another miracle that God gave me. He was already using my story through Pastor Miles to help others. I was humbled by this mention but it made it even more clear that God was calling me to continue expand and tell my story. That where my mind exists so does countless of others out there. So I officially stated this blog and had some true Wisdom to share.

I surrendered my soul, gained wisdom and now understand my true strength in LOVE I have for my body.

STRONG’her | WISE’her | SURREND’her

YOUR TURN | JOURNAL

I would like to challenge you take the time to think about your biggest insecurities and go back in time when those thoughts might have originated.

Some of you may find that the lies just popped-up one day in your innocent little mind. Others might have a voice or person attached to the lie from a parent, bully, or other real life critic. Even if the lie has a face and a name doesn’t mean that the lie didn’t come from the enemy.

I encourage you to think deeply through your life and begin to question–WHAT IF ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN BELIEVING A LIE?

If you realize you have been believing 1 or 100, you can pray a simple prayer to take your power back.

“Dear God,

I command that these thoughts of evil be cast out of my mind in the name of Jesus. I release my burden of these thoughts to your love and power you, God. I accept the love You have for me in exchange for this lie I have believed for so long. I believe that you have given me the power over these lies in my head and that I can exercise this power over them every time I pray in Love and acceptance of your love. Protect me God and renew me in your strength of love. Give me a stronger body, mind and soul so I may live our the Greater Purpose you have planned for me.”

I would love to hear from anyone or pray for any one of you that could use some extra prayer!! Please reply to this email with any prayer requests you have, regarding this topic or otherwise!

In Good Faith,

~Mandi

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

“I just want to fit into my skinny jeans” and other ways we fall short


One of my health coaching clients sent me an article she received from her gym in New York City.   Coincidentally, it was also an article about overcoming the urge to quit and she asked me what I thought about it.   A couple days ago,  I debuted my first blog also on ‘not quitting’ (which I purposely chose the positive affirmative of “Tips to Keep Climbing”).  If you didn’t see it,  check it out HERE!

This other article was written with the intention of  helping keep people from already giving up on their New Years resolutions, which as we all know is very common around this time of year!  Just 1-month in the New Year and a large population of people have already forgotten those new habits they were so determined to get right this year!  Like many in the Health and Fitness Community, this gym came up with a very concise and straight forward list of tips:

1. Remember the reason why you started
2. Speak Positive Truths
3. It’s Just A Valley  (ie. don’t quit from the challenge)
4. Play It Loud (get new music)
5. “They” expect you to quit (do it to show others they’re wrong)
6. Look at the ladies (or guys) for motivation
7. Eat Well (don’t cut too many calories)
8. Go To Bed (sleep)
9. Picture the New You (imagine your success)

They are all friendly reminders and with good intention behind it.   I am not bashing the intention of this article at all and on the surface, they are all great tips. 

But that seems to be my biggest issue with the way the Health and Fitness generation is trying to teach health.  Everywhere you look, you are given tip after tip after tip!  Often times, they are contradictory too and more confusing than anything. 

But the reason why I feel I am called to this platform writing and expressing my view of health and why God is calling me not only to write my truth but to also question the truths that I have long been accepting from “experts”.  My whole life I have been trying “harder” to follow ALL the tips at once, and feeling defeated when I couldn’t sustain any of them for very long.    

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into my health in my spirit and my mind that I was finally able to have real impact on my body’s health.  I believe that we as a society need to GO DEEPER in order to invoke any real change in the trajectory of our health both as individuals and as a nation.

We can see all around us that we have a health epidemic on our hands.  Our nation is sick, literally dying from health related causes.  Our kids, our elderly, our poor and our rich–it doesn’t escape anyone.   Our health has everything to do with much more than what’s on the surface too.   Ironically, there have never as many Diet and Fitness Experts in society as there are today too. Thousands of them out there that will give you a thousand different “Tips” on how to lose weight and meet your goals.  And YET, if you look around, all these “experts” aren’t really having any impact. 

To Me, most people will fit into one of three categories:

A. Yo-Yo Dieters— hopping on and off the health bandwagons in an “all or nothing” fashion  

B. Apathetic— that choose not to pursue their health and quit before we even start, seeing that the struggle is not worth the fight  or it’s just “how they’re built.”           

C. Extremists— The Uber fit, overdoing our goals to meet some unrealistic body image that doesn’t actually exist for long-term health. 

As I read the list from the New York City gym, I don’t disagree with any one of the tips.  But I also find the list to be very shallow in motivation and severely lacking in the DEPTH or any real CONVICTION behind it.

For example, if I were the old me and thinking about my New Year’s resolutions of years past, for Tip #1:  Remember the Reason Why You Started?, my answer would have been something like:

“I want to fit into my size 6 skinny jeans so I can feel confident and better about myself!”

And I would log hour after hour at the gym until I reached my goal!  Then, yes, as I slid on those size 6 skinny jeans I would feel really good about myself…….for about a week.  Maybe two. 

Then I would need another “motivation” or new “goal” to keep me going further otherwise I would just go back to drinking and binge eating and soon the skinny jeans wouldn’t fit so well any more. 

That is literally how I lived the majority of my life.  I was a “new goal” junkie, just creating more and more goals to get me “fitter” and “fitter.”  Never having actually felt fit at all.   Making small-time goals and reaching them, only to not feel as great about them as I thought I would.   Most of the time I actually felt disappointed by them!  Something was lacking.  There was no “Joy” in my success.  There was no real success!

The type of True Health and thus True Goals I am talking about are much deeper than this.  To make goals based on FAITH and not FEAR. To use GOD and not GUILT.   Tying our goals to our Greater Purpose makes the reason why we get-up-and-going to be a much deeper and much more life changing.    

My True Health Goals look something like this:

I want to feel loved, fit and good enough no matter what my jean size is.  I want to go to the gym and increase my strength and power so that I know if God calls on me to do something great, I will be physically strong enough to do it.  I want to be a shining example for my kids, my friends and  my family and I want to show them that anything is possible at any age.  And, I know I can do this because I know “I can do all thing through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)

Doesn’t my WHY resonate SO much deeper to SOULFUL level?  Doesn’t the above goal not just hit what I want for my Body, but also my Mind and my Sprit too?    Doesn’t it sound like the kind of life-changing conviction that will change my whole life and keep me motivated for longer?  Not just help me with some small-time skinny jeans goal for the New Year? 

So what if we turn that list into something with more DEPTH?  Take their great tips and just add some Greater Purpose thinking behind it?    

I think it would look something like this: 

1. Remember why God is calling you to be fit, how does it tie to your Greater Purpose?
2. You are able to speak positive truths because you are perfectly Loved
3. Valley’s are purposeful so you always must rely on God. Embrace the challenge and draw nearer to Him.
4. The Music Lives Within— No matter what beat you hear, the movement will come from within you.  Tap into that beat.
5. “Do Not Judge or You Too Will Be Judged” (Matt 7:1)- Think about ways you can support others in their goals and you will find that they will support you back.
6. Look to your soul for motivation and the men/women will come in the right time.
7. Eat Well to sustain your fuel for your Greater Purpose.
8. Find REAL rest to renew your body, mind and soul.
9. Picture Yourself Living Out your Greater Purpose!

Journal/Thought Provocation: 

What are some of the goals that you have made so far this year?  What are some ways you can re-frame those goals to serve your Greater Purpose?

If you are struggling with knowing what your Greater Purpose is, I invite you to sit and pray about it.  Even if an answer doesn’t come to you immediately, the act of listening will be rewarding for you soon enough.  What God might be telling you is that your Greater Purpose for right now is to do exactly what you are doing, but do it in a way that would bring honor to Him.  Do it with integrity, courage, faith and love.   Their is purpose in everything we do, so do it well and do it for Good.  

In Good Health,

Mandi