Tag: truth

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Spiritual Health

The Discipline of Shame Resiliency and Other Emotions

Last week I shared with you openly about some shame memories I had been experiencing after listening a great audio book by Brene Brown called, “Men, Women and Worthiness.” 

So many of you responded back to me that you have experienced similar stories of feeling ashamed too, whether from being caught binge eating yourself, or shamed for your athleticism (or lack thereof), or shamed for your body. We all know it doesn’t take much to feel shame in our world.  

All it takes is the devil twisting the words of someone close to you to make you start telling yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m bad.” It’s never about feeling guilty for bad behavior, it’s about feeling inadequate as a person.  

But, as I shared in my reflection, these stories of our past and odd memories that pop-up I believe are gifts from God.They serve as teachers to help us rewire the TRUTH of who we are through Christ.  

Brene Brown calls this “shame resiliency,” it’s all about rising above the shame-based thoughts.   She points out that resilience is the only win here, because there is no such thing as shame resistance. Our human, sinful nature and others impacting us will always keep feelings of shame knocking on our door.  

But practicing resilience, through the power of vulnerability and being willing to open up these stories to God and others who can help, will make us stronger and wiser for it.  Avoidance simply keeps us spinning.  

So, naturally, I can’t just leave my story there.  I can’t just say, “Well, I learned my lesson that one time and that was that! Problem solved.”   

If only it were that easy.  No, we have to find a way to continue to practice shame resiliency, which is really all about practicing emotional discipline.    

I hadn’t thought about our emotions as something we need to actually discipline in our lives until I started creating the 6-week Bible Study on Spiritual Discipline that begins January 9 (there’s still room to join, if you’re interested, click here).  

Becoming shame resilient is actually a discipline that you need to practice in order to be emotionally mature and stable.  

Emotional stability is so incredibly important to your purpose and call from God.  If you fall prey to the whims of your fleeting feelings, you will be prey to the distractions that keep us from your destiny.  

So, I wanted to open up the discussion of what it means to be emotionally disciplined and 3 things you will need to ask yourself regularly to start putting this discipline into practice.  

First,  being disciplined in your feelings is not being a disciplinarian it’s about being discerning.  

It’s not about invoking your inner critic to “stop feeling so much” in an effort to make you more stoic, logical, or controlling.  

Nothing could be further from what God desires for you.  The very fruits of the Spirit are ripe with emotion! You can’t experience the fullness of your Spiritual self without emotion. 

Now, I understand why we do this.  We think we can force a feeling, but we can’t.  

And when we realize we can’t force a feeling we think our only other choice is to “shut down” or “numb” our feelings with things like food, alcohol, drugs, or the thrills of chasing things like “success” or devious behaviors. 

All of this is self-protection from that monster in our mind.  

Rather, being emotionally disciplined is all about your discernment.  

It’s not about trying to change or judge your feelings but simply recognizing your feelings and discerning if they are based in truth or in fear.  

You need to ask yourself 4 basic questions with the help of the Holy Spirit:

Q1:  WHAT AM I FEELING RIGHT NOW?  

We all need validation, even self-validation, and identifying the exact feeling helps pinpoint that.  (Note: tired and hungry are NOT emotions, contrary to what every man thinks, so expand on that with feelings like: embarrassed, humiliated, scared, angry, bitter, resentful, jealous, anxious, feeling inadequate, etc.)

Q2.  WHAT EXACTLY AM I THINKING RIGHT NOW?

Our own thoughts create our feelings, not other people or circumstances.  So get quiet, breathe deep, and write down the actual thoughts racing through your mind.  

Q3.  ARE THESE THOUGHTS TRUE?

You will need to use the Word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit within you to test your thoughts against the Truth of who God is.  Your feelings are always valid, but the thoughts you are believing could very well be lies. Test your feelings and thoughts against who you are in Christ and see if this doesn’t offer greater peace. 

Q4.  WHAT IS MY PRAYER?  

If you have time to worry about something, you have time to pray about something.  Maybe someone did really hurt you and you are struggling with that.   Well, here is your chance to surrender it to God and let Him handle changing them, because frankly, you can't even if you tried.   Pray through it and you will receive the power and peace that only God can grant you.  

Now, this is where the discipline comes in— willing to actually DO THIS stuff. 

You know what they say about change right?  You won’t change any behavior about yourself until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.  

In other words, there is going to have to be a “come to Jesus” moment when you realize your feelings aren’t your ALLY but are much closer to your ENEMY.  

More often than not, if we are experiencing painful relationship patterns, painful work patterns, or painful health patterns, our emotions are a significant reason for our pain.  Our emotions sabotage us.  

Identifying your feelings as the culprit is incredibly hard because we often confuse our feelings with our identify.  In fact, you can get so used to your shame that it feels like it’s a part of who you are.  

I’ve heard countless people tell me, “It’s just the way I’m wired,” when in fact what they are suffering from is often in direct violation of Who God is and the image from which we came.  

So, here is where some study, accountability, and a safe place to seek some relief and resiliency might be exactly what you need in 2017.  

Like I said, we are doing a 6-week Nutrition course that corresponds with this 6-week Bible Study on Discipline.  

Buuuuuut, if you’re not interested in the nutrition course (The Daniel Challenge) but ARE interested in doing the Women’s Bible study on Discipline, that’s now an option as well! 

It will be a weekly small group meeting on Zoom where we will be watching some Pastoral videos and then having a group discussion.  Then I will also be giving you a daily devotional and Bible study to do on your own.    The discipline topics we will be tackling are:   

Prayer and Reading the Bible
Emotional Discipline
Health 
Time Management
Organization
Finances and Money

The Daniel Challenge and Nutrition Course is $97 (which includes the Bible study for free) and then Discipline Bible Study & Course by itself will be $30, just to cover the cost of the materials purchased and workbooks you’ll receive.  You can buy the Bible Study by itself here. 

I hope this insight helps you think through what emotions you need to discern into discipline this year.  I'd love you to comment and tell me the #1 emotion you think tortures you the most!  Ready, Go!

Ready to up your nutrition & spiritual discipline in the New Year?

Join the A. Wright Fit Daniel Challenge, a 6-week Nutrition & Discipline course and Bible study that starts on January 9!  

This course is a small-group format of like-minded women who are ready for FOOD FREEDOM in 2017!

As a group, we will be challenging ourselves to a 7 to 21-day Daniel Fast for the first 3-weeks of the course and then transitioning into the Nutrient Based Eating program, the signature nutrition program of Certified Nutrition coach, Amanda Wright! 

Every week, we will also be meeting online for a small-group Bible study all on Spiritual Discipline!  We will dive into the Biblical principles of becoming more disciplined in the areas of:  prayer, time management, health and exercise, organization, finances, and our emotions!   This group will be on Zoom every week and you will be given a daily Bible study format to follow!  

If you are interested in learning more or purchasing the program, you can visit this link HERE. If you have any questions, feel free to reach Amanda directly at amanda@amandawrightfit.com.  

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Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Two Most Powerful Words…

I am

I recently came across a beautiful quote that said, “I Am. The two most powerful words.  For what you put after them shapes your reality.”

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These words, “I Am” are incredibly powerful.  Their meaning has so pervasive into my soul that it has taken on truer depths of meaning as I have thought of them, heard them in passing, and have seen them in written form too.

For those that took part in my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development Program or have read my ebook on the 7-Steps HERE, know that I drew emphasis on the power of our words in Step # 4 Visualize & Affirm It!

In this step, I stress the importance of using verbal affirmations because of the power that our words have over our subconscious mind!  Since neuro scientists have revealed that our subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of our behavior, I argue that anything we can do to re-wire our subconscious minds in the direction we want to go is the best practice! 

While, I think far too many people, including myself, ‘forget’ that this has been proven, and instead tend to repeat the old phrases in our heads.  The lies that we’ve always believed.

Such was the case from the last blog I wrote the other day.  I was in a world of turmoil for reasons I could not quite determine and I was just spiritually exhausted.  In prayer, I called out to God and asked how I was supposed to manage all of my new roles and callings when “I Am so insecure.”

Those words, “I am” shaped that reality and were a main reason for my turmoil. 

They were another LIE from the devil planted in my head, for who knows how long, that had taken root and was causing destruction in my ability to move forward with my Greater Purpose and calling. 

Do I have remorse for saying those words?  Absolutely not.  Because by saying them to God, HE was able to set me right again and speak the truth into me. 

He told me,  “My Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just been believing the lie that you are insecure.”

God revealed to me what my truth is. 

“I am empowered.  I am strong.  I am standing.” 

BUT LET’S UNWRAP IT A BIT MORE…..

These words, “I am” will always remind me of God speaking to Moses in Exodus. 

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 3: 14)

For years and years, I have not been able to wrap my head around the sentence, “I AM has sent me to you.”

It has been a philosophical puzzle that I knew I was supposed to understand, but it wasn’t quite sinking to that depth yet….until one day.

Coincidentally, this was during a time where I was practicing the other part of the “Step #4 Visualize & Affirm It!” by doing a self visualization with my prayer.

There are times in my prayer that I get crystal clear on this woman that I picture myself to be.  My ‘future self’ that is living out her Greater Purpose and calling.  I imagine “her”, meaning me of course, in the course of a typical day. 

{This “her” is actually what I hope to inspire all women to focus on becoming and is the “her” I refer to in “STRONG’her, WISE’her and SURREND’her”}

For me, my visualization prayer takes me to this certain place. 

I visualize myself in 20+ years first in the outward appearance:  I visualize what I’m wearing, my body and shape, the type of chair I’m sitting in, the type of food Im snacking on etc. 

Then I visualize the feelings of this future version of myself: her aura and energy, the joy expressed in her face, the calm and peaceful way she talks— she is strong in grace. 

One day, as I was finishing up this visualization prayer, I began thanking God for this vision and for this future version of me.    

Instead of asking Him to guide me to be like her, I did the opposite, I thanked Him for already making it happen.  I am that confident that I will be this woman I envision, that I don’t actually have to ask God to become that woman anymore, I can start thanking God for what I already know will be. 

But as I started to thank Him, I found myself saying these words instead, “Thank you God for the woman that I will beco…(starting to say “become”), for the woman that “I AM.”

And that’s where it hit me.  “I AM”

There is no “future me”, there is just me.  It’s already been done.   Just like there is no future God…He’s already there too.

All the difficulties I will face between now and that woman I envision is already done.  The trials, the difficulties, the sorrows, the pains….already done and already solved.  The joy, the love, the peace and the grace are all already given to me at maximum levels too. 

I AM is now.   

I AM all of those things I dream of being one day, right now. 

The reason why this is true, is because God is in me and God IS ALL THESE THINGS. 

God does not live in space and time.  God is omnipotent. 

God is both the sorrow and the joy. 

God is both the pain and the peace.

He is ALL things because ALL things have their purpose, His Purpose. 

When I was crying on the ground and said the words, “I am insecure,”  God is that TOO.  God is the LIE only because He must be the LIE in order to be the TRUTH.   You cannot have the truth without also having the lie.

This is not to say that God is the cause of all of these things.  I recently heard a sermon by Pastor Rick Warren where He distinguished that our circumstances (including the bad times) can be caused by 4 different sources:

1. God
2. The Devil
3. Ourselves
4. Other People

So while we can sometimes determine if we’ve caused our own pain or if other people have, we often don’t know if our suffering is from God or the Devil. 

But the truth is that it doesn’t matter.  What matters is not the source of the PAIN, but rather how we are going to use it for our Greater Purpose.  Having a relationship with God means that we allow God to use all things to develop our Purpose and Character. 

The truth is, our times of trouble and the difficult times will have a far greater impact on us that the good and happy times.  The LIES we believe have their purpose in their pain.

So while I believe that the devil will continue to plant in my head the lies like, “I am insecure” that I will unknowingly believe for any course of time, I KNOW that God will give purpose and blessing to those lies.   

There is POWER in setting those lies straight.  There is POWER in discovering our TRUTH.

Jesus, who said, “I AM the way, the truth and the light” (John 14:6) will give us our TRUTH as long as we have ears that are open to hear it.

So I encourage you today, to stop, breathe and pray for greater awareness of who you really ARE.  Pray that all lies will be made true again. 

Shape the TRUTH of who you are by using the words, “I AM _______” and start repeating it to yourself every day, several times a day.  Shaping this TRUTH can be just another way that God will be revealed in you. 

“I AM sent me to you.”