Gym – A. Wright Fit

As life would have it, I am finding more and more of my true calling in this effort of writing, blogging and health coaching. It came to me a while ago, but I have realized that my Greater Purpose of this calling of writing these articles are not just for you (although I earnestly hope that you do get some sort of lesson or inspiration out of them) but really a lot of this calling is about ME and gaining some necessary wisdom in my life.

So, as it naturally happens, as I start to put pen-to-paper, or more aptly, fingers-to-keyboard, I start to expose more and more things that I need to focus on and work on.

As was the case when I started to write the blog last week that was just posted yesterday. I have always been so aware of the power that my husband’s and my history holds. I love our love story. I have fully embraced the convoluted, roller-coaster-ride of our history as part of what makes our relationship so powerful today!

I can fully embrace the imperfect ways that we tried and tried to get it (W)right to no avail only to finally, FINALLY, realize what was the missing issue the entire time ——-> BIG MAN himself, G.O.D.

I spoke yesterday that I clearly placed Howard and my relationship ahead of God when I would obsess and worry and try harder and harder.

And as I was journaling these thoughts in our story for yesterday, it all of a sudden hit me like a dagger right between my eyes.

“Consumed with thinking about it all day, everyday.”

“Obsessed with trying to be enough.”

“Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter.”

These are the EXACT phrases that I could easily put into place regarding my relationship with my body and food as well.

It’s not so shocking, of course, because I’ve already admitted to this behavior, especially when it was at it’s peak as I was training to do a bikini competition.

But I can admit now that these SAME feelings and obsession with my body were still very present when I was planning for my wedding. It was another BIG DAY and I had a lot self pressure to look the best I’ve ever looked, naturally.

I am proud of myself that I did NOT resort to extreme tactics this go round and still treated my body in a much more health-centered way.

But the truth is that mentally, I was just as consumed (if not more so) with worry and fret as I have been before. I hired not 1 but 2 health coaches myself, hired a personal trainer, logged my food every day, paid for extensive body fat measurements and the whole bit.

Again,

“Consumed with thinking about it all day, every day.”

“Obsessed with trying to be enough”

“Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter”

The results were just about the same as those 6-years of dating Howard. I could try as hard as I wanted but it wasn’t going to change much. I lost maybe 5 lbs and a few body fat % in the entire year that I was working toward my wedding body. For a WHOLE YEAR, with literally thousands of hours logged with worry, obsession and fret, and all I lost was a measly 5lbs.

(Can someone make a t-shirt with that on it perhaps? “I spent 1,000 of mental hours and 1,000 of dollars for this body and all I lost were these 5lbs?”)

Don’t get me wrong, I am quite pleased with how I looked on my wedding day, but I was a little exhausted that day too from all that build up and WORRY, which I have to admit was 80% about my BODY more than about the wedding itself! Also, don’t EVEN get me started on the fact that it took a full 10-minutes and 4 women to zip up my gosh darn dress?! How’s that for a confession?! UGHHHHHH. Literally, I. Can’t. Even. I can't even

But, I digress….

So, it’s been almost 6-months since my wedding day, and I have been trying to pinpoint this emotion that I’ve been feeling ever since.

For the first time, in a long time, I am not obsessing over my body, I am not logging my meals, I am not tracking every workout and measuring the # of calories I’m burning or consuming.

But all of this new behavior has me feeling a mix of emotions. I feel relief that I don’t have to obsess so much any more, and yet, I’m kind of sad and lost unsure of this new phase with my body and relationship food and workouts.

AND SO IT’S HIT ME……

I’m in the middle of a break-up!

It’s not the same as what it was when Howard and I broke-up because I can’t physically break-up with my body.

But I realize now that I’ve broken-up with the relationship I had with my body!

Subconsciously and now more consciously I have exposed that I STILL have a tendency to put many things (i.e. idols) ahead of my relationship with God . These tendencies seem to manifest themselves in my mind the exact same way.

I obsess, I worry, I try harder and yet it doesn’t produce the results I want.

But, for the first time ever, I am not treating my body the same way as I always have. I have some other things that are taking precedence (namely, my time with God, my husband and this business) over my workouts, body obsession and food.

This has meant that my workouts are much shorter (usually about 30 minutes, 3-4 days per week). I also don’t track my eating like I used to (simply because I don’t have time). I am not weighing myself very often at all. I am not even looking in the mirror as much anymore! It’s kinda just “weird” for me. It’s a me I don’t quite recognize and don’t know quite what to do with myself….as odd as that sounds!

This relationship I had with my body was around for much much longer than the relationship I had with Howard, so I’m expecting this break-up to take some time. And just like it was when he and I broke-up, I don’t know if I’m meant to get back together with that old me, or if I’m going to find a whole new relationship with my body that is a much better fit!

Either way, I know I’m at this in between phase of this break-up right now and I need to STAY IN THIS PHASE until I have clear direction.

THE POWER IN THIS BREAK-UP:

Now that I am conscious that I am in the middle of this “break-up” with the relationship with my body, I can offer you some insight into what this means for me. What I DON’T have is the actual lessons I’m going to learn. The reason is because I’m not over it yet and I’m feel as though I’m still healing.

But if you’re in this place with me, perhaps realizing that you too have a “bad relationship” with your body, food, or working out, then there ARE some things that I can offer. Things that I KNOW within my soul that are helping through this break-up phase.

1. Doubt Gives Way to Faith:

The power of our idols is incredibly strong. Everyday that I think I have a God-centered, “healthy” relationship with my body, I will all of a sudden find myself in the pantry binge eating some fruit clusters and other treats and then immediately feeling the affects of guilt and mental punishment the rest of the day. Sugar Addiction (or any food/drink/substance addiction) can be a very real idol that we serve before we serve God.

But what I know is that just when I doubt I will ever be strong enough to beat my sugar addiction, in comes these waves of Faith that I know that God is stronger than anything and everything in this world. I can put my trust and hope in God and He will help me beat this body idol and reengage in a new relationship with my body. I can remember all the other hard things I’ve had to give up (anyone read my WINE-O series?!) and how much God has truly pulled me through once I SURREND’hered it to Him.

2. Fulfillment comes from God alone:

Just like I had learned the hard way from my break-ups with Howard, I am seeing this pop-up again in my break-up with my old relationship with my body. I was trying to find fulfillment from my body and my health instead of truly finding fulfillment from God. I know that this break-up will serve as the necessary time for me to reengage with God as my sole provider. To SURREND’her more and more to Him. To truly make Him the center of ALL of my life, not just part-of my life.

3.These Feelings of “Falling Apart” are what is going to lead to the Spiritual Break-Through I need:

[Full Disclosure] I am very, very uncomfortable in this ‘break-up phase’ with my body. A large part of me feels like I’m really GIVING-UP on my body. I have fear that it’s going to all go down hill. I have so much guilt about not working out as much or dieting as hard core as I used to and fear that all this is going to lead me to be a big fat hypocrite on this forum of “speaking about health” all while looking chubby. I am still struggling daily with the feelings of how I should be “trying harder.”

But, what I’m doing about these fears is not “trying harder,” I’m just praying harder. I’m journaling a ton and praying all day long about this body and this life and asking God to use me in these new ways. To heal my mind and body and soul. I know this is exactly the right course.

I am encouraged by the signs that God is giving me for motivation to keep “praying through”. One such sign is from the book I keep talking about, The Circle Maker. The author Mark Batterson gave me a very strong reminder when he said, “If you want to experience a super natural break-through, you have to pray through. But as you get closer to the break-through it often feels like you’re about to lose control, about to fall apart. That is when you need to press in and pray through.”

Pressing-on and praying through is what I intend to do!

4. I’m Grateful for my Imperfections:

I can find joy and gratitude in every difficult thing that I encounter in life. My very struggles in life are the things that keep me leaning on God and keep me looking to Him more and more. My imperfections are the gateway to the true blessings that I’ll receive from this relationship I’m building with God. I know I will never be perfect and this battle with my body and with food will be a lifelong battle. But I can be grateful for that because it means that I will always stay close to God. I can “sacrifice of a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord” (Psalm 116:17)

5. I can Praise Him NOW for what will be:

I can also know that because I’m giving Him this problem He has already answered my prayer. He has already delivered me from this idol of my body and food and He has offered me a new relationship with my body that better serves my Greater Purpose. I can Praise Him for answering this prayer and just wait for this answer to be revealed to me. I know there will come a time and I’ll “just know” what direction to take and I’ll keep taking steps that He leads me. Thank you God for this.

So, while I do wish I had more answers for YOU I hope you don’t mind me opening up more about my struggles and how I’m really not much of an “expert” yet on how to enter into a healthy relationship with your body.

What I do encourage you to do is to self-assess your current relationship you have with your body too!

Q: How do you see your body?

Q: Do you put part of your quest for health or your body before God?

Q: What are the mental cues that recognize as your blocks (i.e. do you obsess, worry, avoid, abuse, or hate your body?).

Q: Can you find ways to use God in those areas and “pray-through” this barrier it plays in your heart and soul. Think of the best ways that you can give this to God (prayer, friends, journaling etc)

Also, I do I highly suggest reading The Circle Maker and journaling a lot more to expose some of your own idols in your life! It might not just be your body or health, it is likely quite a few things! Give them ALL UP! Keep SURREND’hering .

In Love and Healing,

Amanda

One of my health coaching clients sent me an article she received from her gym in New York City. Coincidentally, it was also an article about overcoming the urge to quit and she asked me what I thought about it. A couple days ago, I debuted my first blog also on ‘not quitting’ (which I purposely chose the positive affirmative of “Tips to Keep Climbing”). If you didn’t see it, check it out HERE!

This other article was written with the intention of helping keep people from already giving up on their New Years resolutions, which as we all know is very common around this time of year! Just 1-month in the New Year and a large population of people have already forgotten those new habits they were so determined to get right this year! Like many in the Health and Fitness Community, this gym came up with a very concise and straight forward list of tips:

1. Remember the reason why you started
2. Speak Positive Truths
3. It’s Just A Valley (ie. don’t quit from the challenge)
4. Play It Loud (get new music)
5. “They” expect you to quit (do it to show others they’re wrong)
6. Look at the ladies (or guys) for motivation
7. Eat Well (don’t cut too many calories)
8. Go To Bed (sleep)
9. Picture the New You (imagine your success)

They are all friendly reminders and with good intention behind it. I am not bashing the intention of this article at all and on the surface, they are all great tips.

But that seems to be my biggest issue with the way the Health and Fitness generation is trying to teach health. Everywhere you look, you are given tip after tip after tip! Often times, they are contradictory too and more confusing than anything.

But the reason why I feel I am called to this platform writing and expressing my view of health and why God is calling me not only to write my truth but to also question the truths that I have long been accepting from “experts”. My whole life I have been trying “harder” to follow ALL the tips at once, and feeling defeated when I couldn’t sustain any of them for very long.

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into my health in my spirit and my mind that I was finally able to have real impact on my body’s health. I believe that we as a society need to GO DEEPER in order to invoke any real change in the trajectory of our health both as individuals and as a nation.

We can see all around us that we have a health epidemic on our hands. Our nation is sick, literally dying from health related causes. Our kids, our elderly, our poor and our rich–it doesn’t escape anyone. Our health has everything to do with much more than what’s on the surface too. Ironically, there have never as many Diet and Fitness Experts in society as there are today too. Thousands of them out there that will give you a thousand different “Tips” on how to lose weight and meet your goals. And YET, if you look around, all these “experts” aren’t really having any impact.

To Me, most people will fit into one of three categories:

A. Yo-Yo Dieters— hopping on and off the health bandwagons in an “all or nothing” fashion

B. Apathetic— that choose not to pursue their health and quit before we even start, seeing that the struggle is not worth the fight or it’s just “how they’re built.”

C. Extremists— The Uber fit, overdoing our goals to meet some unrealistic body image that doesn’t actually exist for long-term health.

As I read the list from the New York City gym, I don’t disagree with any one of the tips. But I also find the list to be very shallow in motivation and severely lacking in the DEPTH or any real CONVICTION behind it.

For example, if I were the old me and thinking about my New Year’s resolutions of years past, for Tip #1: Remember the Reason Why You Started?, my answer would have been something like:

“I want to fit into my size 6 skinny jeans so I can feel confident and better about myself!”

And I would log hour after hour at the gym until I reached my goal! Then, yes, as I slid on those size 6 skinny jeans I would feel really good about myself…….for about a week. Maybe two.

Then I would need another “motivation” or new “goal” to keep me going further otherwise I would just go back to drinking and binge eating and soon the skinny jeans wouldn’t fit so well any more.

That is literally how I lived the majority of my life. I was a “new goal” junkie, just creating more and more goals to get me “fitter” and “fitter.” Never having actually felt fit at all. Making small-time goals and reaching them, only to not feel as great about them as I thought I would. Most of the time I actually felt disappointed by them! Something was lacking. There was no “Joy” in my success. There was no real success!

The type of True Health and thus True Goals I am talking about are much deeper than this. To make goals based on FAITH and not FEAR. To use GOD and not GUILT. Tying our goals to our Greater Purpose makes the reason why we get-up-and-going to be a much deeper and much more life changing.

My True Health Goals look something like this:

I want to feel loved, fit and good enough no matter what my jean size is. I want to go to the gym and increase my strength and power so that I know if God calls on me to do something great, I will be physically strong enough to do it. I want to be a shining example for my kids, my friends and my family and I want to show them that anything is possible at any age. And, I know I can do this because I know “I can do all thing through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)

Doesn’t my WHY resonate SO much deeper to SOULFUL level? Doesn’t the above goal not just hit what I want for my Body, but also my Mind and my Sprit too? Doesn’t it sound like the kind of life-changing conviction that will change my whole life and keep me motivated for longer? Not just help me with some small-time skinny jeans goal for the New Year?

So what if we turn that list into something with more DEPTH? Take their great tips and just add some Greater Purpose thinking behind it?

I think it would look something like this:

1. Remember why God is calling you to be fit, how does it tie to your Greater Purpose?
2. You are able to speak positive truths because you are perfectly Loved
3. Valley’s are purposeful so you always must rely on God. Embrace the challenge and draw nearer to Him.
4. The Music Lives Within— No matter what beat you hear, the movement will come from within you. Tap into that beat.
5. “Do Not Judge or You Too Will Be Judged” (Matt 7:1)- Think about ways you can support others in their goals and you will find that they will support you back.
6. Look to your soul for motivation and the men/women will come in the right time.
7. Eat Well to sustain your fuel for your Greater Purpose.
8. Find REAL rest to renew your body, mind and soul.
9. Picture Yourself Living Out your Greater Purpose!

Journal/Thought Provocation:

What are some of the goals that you have made so far this year? What are some ways you can re-frame those goals to serve your Greater Purpose?

If you are struggling with knowing what your Greater Purpose is, I invite you to sit and pray about it. Even if an answer doesn’t come to you immediately, the act of listening will be rewarding for you soon enough. What God might be telling you is that your Greater Purpose for right now is to do exactly what you are doing, but do it in a way that would bring honor to Him. Do it with integrity, courage, faith and love. Their is purpose in everything we do, so do it well and do it for Good.

In Good Health,

Mandi

Again,

AND SO IT’S HIT ME……

I’m in the middle of a break-up!

THE POWER IN THIS BREAK-UP:

1. Doubt Gives Way to Faith:

2. Fulfillment comes from God alone:

3.These Feelings of “Falling Apart” are what is going to lead to the Spiritual Break-Through I need:

4. I’m Grateful for my Imperfections:

5. I can Praise Him NOW for what will be:

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