Tag: Bikini Competition

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Fitness & Training Spiritual Health

Why Two People Who Do The Exact Same Thing Will Experience Wildly Different Results…

Using the Laws of the Harvest In a Real Life Example!

 
A lot of people have asked me if I am against people doing bikini competitions since I have told so many stories about the negative consequences of having done mine.  And I wholeheartedly tell them, “Absolutely not!”   I am in fact prepping a client for a bikini competition as we speak!  She’s about 10 weeks away!
 
But also, the reason I would never dare to tell someone not to go after such a lofty goal is that there are a lot of really great things that can come out of pushing ourselves far out of our comfort zones.  There is SO MUCH that I learned about my CHARACTER in that process of taking things “too far” for MY body that I have ZERO regrets about.
 
There are some people that actually THRIVE and really LOVE the competition world and can maintain a high character approach toward doing such activity.
 
One such example is one of my best friends and prayer partner, Jennifer.  She was one who trained me and dozens of other women for these competitions with her husband.  Jennifer did a couple different competitions herself over the years and told me she was was able to actually use them to grow closer to God!
 
Anything and everything we do can be an act of worship.  So especially those really challenging goals we push for, we can definitely lean more on Him and we will be better for it!  While Jennifer will tell you she won’t do another one (they are huge sacrifices, especially if you have young kids, like she does), her experience was markedly different than mine.
 

 So why is that in life?

 
How is it that two women, both with hearts for God, can engage in the SAME endeavor, “planting our seeds” into the same routines,  desiring the same outcomes,  but experiencing radically different “HARVESTS” as a result?
 
 
This is often where we get hung up as we decide to try to do those things that we see our friends do, especially after we see their success.
 
The key to understanding the differences in these “harvests” and rewards is to realize that there are THREE vital parts to the Law of the Harvest, not just the two.
 
There’s the obvious SEED (our thoughts, our words and our actions)
Then there’s the obvious HARVEST (the results, our success, and our character blessing,too).
 
The THIRD aspect to this equation is the real difference maker.
 

It's the SOIL.

 
The SOIL is the *KEY* component into whether the seeds sprouts a REWARDING harvest or whether the the seeds withers, dies and gets ‘choked' by the weeds of life.
 
Take a look at the powerful words of Jesus’ Parable of the Sower from Matthew 13 which I like in The Message translation.
 

"A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it  fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn’t put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.” (Matthew 13:3-8)

 
It’s obvious that this Farmer had worked hard to scatter his seeds.  And it wasn’t the SEEDS fault that it failed because each seed was made with equal potential for greatness and success!  The same goes for you and me.  We are all created in equal love and ability for our own blessings and destiny.
 
The key difference as to whether the seed found success or not was the nutritious depth of environment that it was planted.
 
In other words if you don’t plant your SEEDS (i.e. your thoughts, words and actions) into an environment that doesn't have depth and nutrition, then the shallow soil will not produce the fruitful harvest you desire.
 
That’s exactly what went wrong with my experience in the bikini competition.
 
As I learned, more retrospectively, that the real reason WHY I decided to do the bikini competition was in order to “look the part” of someone I thought I was supposed to be.  
 
The real reason WHY  I chased having a “perfect body” was because I thought that was the answer to my body images issues and ultimately would give me self-love and happiness.   
 

My “WHY" was my soil.  Your WHY is your soil too.  

 
 If it’s a shallow, self-serving, or an overall unhealthy reason WHY you are really doing what you are doing then it will NOT produce the rich harvest of blessings that you want it to because God wants SO MUCH MORE for you life. 
 
{And by “really” doing, I mean, the real, deep reason why you are doing what you are doing.  Not the reason you tell others or even convince yourself you are doing something.  It might even be subconscious for a while, but eventually God will allow it to come to light.  Your WHY matters most. } 
 
"Planting on the PATHWWAY ": 
Sometimes we make half-hearted choices in our health, the most shallow of all. We know these well.  We commit to a “diet” that we’re never really going to follow.  We sign up for a “program” that we don’t even open.  We get that gym membership but never show up to use it.  We don’t ever really COMMIT and therefore our WHY is extra shallow.   These are equivalent to the “path” where the birds came and eat those seeds.  Nothing will come from these efforts.
 
"Planting On Shallow Soil":
Sometimes we get excited and so we make hasty, quick decisions and see some quick results….but inevitably those seeds sprout quickly and die just as quickly.
 
We do that 3-day cleanse, but then we go right back to eating how we used to.  We take drops or diet pills that decrease our appetite to lose weight quickly.  We do an extreme workout regime for a month or two, preparing for a “special occasion.”  But those extreme tactics cannot be sustained and are equivalent to the soil in the gravel.  The faster it comes off, the faster it will come right back on.
 
"Planting Among the Weeds"
Then, there are times we we *think* we are planting our “seeds” in rich and deep soil of good intentions.   This was me in my big endeavor in my bikini competition and DOZENS of other life experiences I’ve had.
 
We make the commitment alright, but soon realize that WEEDS sprout up all around us.
 
I love what Jesus tells us about the soil with the weeds (from The Message translation again which is extra powerful).
 

 “The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.”  (Matthew 13:22 MSG)

 
For anyone that has planted a garden, you know that you don’t need to GROW WEEDS.  Weeds just sprout up.  The same thing happens in our head as we plant our seeds the the soil of opportunity.
 

Weeds are lies we start to believe about ourselves.  

 
Weeds are the distractions of self-doubt, selfishness or even conflict.  Weeds are the result of SIN and our human nature and the devil getting in the way of our destiny.
 
These weeds strangle our good intentions of the Spirit and distorts them, ruining the harvest.
 

"For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.” Galatians 5:17

 

BUT, GOD.

 
It would seem to be a lost cause that we would ever be able to truly reap a rich harvest we desire out of life, doesn’t it?  
 
Indeed, I think a lot of people lose hope here.  Thinking, “What’s the point? I’m always going to self-sabotage and will never escape my habits of worry."
 
It is a huge challenge in our lives and I am not trying to play this down at all.
 
BUT, Jesus is "the way, the truth and the life."  (John 14:6) 
 
But I believe that it is MORE THAN possible to plant your seeds of your health and your life in the deep, rich soil that is Jesus and you will WIN the harvest of your destiny.
 
When you align your WHY with God’s WHY for your life, and not the life of those you see around you, you will find that there are far fewer weeds that will get in your way and choke your destiny away from you.  
 

"Planting on the Good Soil":

When your health becomes less about YOU and more about what you can do to better serve God’s kingdom, the richness of your soil will be incredible.  It will sprout harvests for generations and generations.  

 
Listen to what Jesus went on to say about planting seeds on “Good Earth,"
 

 “The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.” (Matthew 13:23 MSG)

 
The "NEWS" is that Jesus has already done all of the hard work for you when He died on the cross.
 
The "NEWS" is that you don’t actually have to strive for and earn the things you think you do, God has worked it all out for you.
 
The "NEWS" is that He has come through with his weed whacker and has prepared some fertile ground for JUST YOU to plant.   You just need to have COURAGE, FAITH and TRUST that God will always do what He says He will do.
 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Jeremiah 29:11

 
There are over 7,000 promises in the Bible like this that you can ROOT yourself and your health in.   When you focus on Him and focus on His TRUTH the weeds of your doubt and the lies in your head simply cannot survive.
 

Get deep.  Look for your real WHY and you will win.  You will win!

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Food & Nutrition Uncategorized

FAT LOSS DIARIES: 3 Tips to Prevent Fat Loss From Biting You In the Booty

Fat Loss Diaries

To say that my history with Fat Loss has been emotionally “shaky” is a gross understatement. I’ve been frustrated more times than I can count by the slowness, stubbornness, and mental strain that I have placed on my ability (or inability, rather) to lose fat when I tried to the hardest. Have you ever felt that way?! Sometimes I just research the liposuction cost and consider having all the access weight sucked out of me. It’s something I’ve really considered because losing weight can be a very stressful and frustrating process, especially when doing it with just exercise and diet regulations.

The problem is that Fat Loss is NOT the same thing as “weight loss” and even so, for both categories, the old adage that you simply lose weight or fat by the mathematical sequence of “Calories In < Calories Out" is flat out WRONG.

The achieve a change in our physique through muscle growth and/or fat loss, we have to focus on our METABOLISM.

Our metabolism is COMPLEX to say the least! Yes, the Big Man upstairs has done Himself some kind of wonder in creating this amazing system that is responsible for both the break-down (called CATABOLISM) of our food into calories (that are used for energy in the body) as well as the build-up (called ANABOLISM) of all cells, such as muscle cells. It is a TRUE WONDER!

Even with my degree in Biochemistry and Biology, I did not understand the wonder of our body’s biochemical pathways and metabolic processes until I really devoted myself to studying it….and of course, experimenting with it (read: FAILING A LOT).

Yes, I have achieved the FULL SPECTRUM of what a high speed and perfectly ineffecient Metabolism does (our metabolism actually needs to be inefficient to promote fat burn and keep our system “moving” and higher speeds) as well as what a low speed and completely manipulated metabolism does.

Ironically, the time that I was at my LEANEST weight, when I trained for a a Bikini Competition, I was suffering from the WORST METABOLIC OPERATION that by Body had ever seen! So we cannot always associate a “smaller body frame” with a HIGH Metabolism! The opposite could be true!

Because I had WILL POWERED my way to see significant fat loss (losing over 10% in just 5 months) by EATING FAR TOO FEW CALORIES (especially carbohydrates that are out #1 quick energy source) and doing FAR TOO MUCH EXERCISE I stunted my metabolism to incredibly slow and yes, even damaged, levels.

Metabolic Effect calls this the EMEL method (Exercise More, Eat Less) which is a highway to metabolic damage and gaining ALL the weight back. Which is exactly what I did!

Metabolic Effect
from metaboliceffect.com

My metabolic damage was made worse yet by the fact that I promptly proceeded to GAIN BACK almost ALL of the body fat I lost (gained back about 7%), which took my metabolic damage to a whole. notha.’ level!

Yes, studies show that is is WORSE for your body to lose weight and gain it all back than it is to never lose it at all. Yes, that’s right.

Why? Because when we lose and gain, lose and gain (a la’ Yo-Yo dieting) your metabolism is slowed down. You simply won’t be as fuel (in)efficient anymore and your body won’t burn as many calories as you used to.

In fact, if you take two identical twins that are the same height and the same weight but ONE of the women had gained weight last year and had to ‘diet down’ to lose the weight again, HER METABOLISM will be slower than the other sister’s. Any time we gain and lose weight, we slow down our system. Frustrating RIGHT?! (By the way this is one of those questions on my list to ask God in Heaven, “What’s up with THAT?!”)

This is what I call, “Biting you in the Booty!” It’s both figurative reference and for me, quite literal because let’s just say, my BIG BOOTY has come right back to where it started from, and appears to be here to stay (to my husband’s delight, of course ;-)).

So, needless to say, now that I am 2.5 years POST-SHOW, I have learned a TON about metabolism in an effort to keep my body revved up and roaring as much as possible! This has helped me a TON understand MY BODY more of course, but it really helps me be a better Health Coach!

It’s a hard discussion to have with clients, because I know so many of us women want to see “results right away” but the truth is, you CAN’T speed up the process of Fat Loss to the point of it causing detriment to your Metabolism. You need to WORK WITH YOUR METABOLISM, not against it.

This means TAKING THE TIME to test your body and seeing what works. It is a PROCESS and if you’re doing it right, it’s a slow process! It’s hard, but if you consider the alternative, you would much rather have SUSTAINABLE FAT LOSS over quickly lost but quickly gained back fat loss? Yeah, me too.

My Top 3 Tips In Your Road to Fat Loss!

  1. Try the TOGGLE programs that Metabolic Effect Prescribes for a roaring metabolism– either Eat Less and Exercise Less OR Eat More and Exercise More. Toggle back and forth between the two phases depending on your scheduling and life!
  2. My 10% Method! Choose the “Minimum Effective Dose Method:” The goal is the eat as much as you possibly can while still seeing Fat Loss! You never want to take drastic cuts to your diet or make drastic leaps with your exercise. Just kick things up or down a notch, by about 10% of so. This is just enough to see if you see any results! When you cut too much, you probably can’t maintain that too well.
  3. Don’t STRESS! Adding more stress to yourself to do everything “perfectly” just increases the stress hormones which ultimately WORKS AGAINST you in Fat Loss. So take this Fat Loss effort slow and just keep SURREND’hering your will to God’s will. Your God power will get you through these challenges far greater than your will power! Have Faith and Endure!

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Fitness & Training Spiritual Health

Isn’t It Just Like God…. A Testimony of Fitness and Faith

Because It's Just Like God...

It would be 2013, lucky #13, that would be my most transformed year-to-date.  I was single after being in an on-again, off-again relationship going on about 4 years.  I was living in Denver, CO and had just found myself lucky enough to be raptured in a new passion that was soon going to be a career change.  I had always loved going to the gym but then I was given the opportunity to start teaching group fitness classes, training clients and soon became a certified Nutrition Coach.

I had just found my “word”, you know, those words that seem to smack you in the face with how perfect they are for you right in the moment?  My word was SURRENDER as I had realized that even though I grew up going to church, I hadn’t yet fully SURRENDERED and committed myself to a real relationship with God.  Those several heart breaks helped me fill my heart with God’s healing Grace, and now that my life was falling into place just right, SURRENDER was the word I clung to to keep me walking with God and letting Him lead the way.

2014-12-15 20.50.51

However, somewhere at the juncture of deciding to take my passion for the Fitness industry to a career-level, I got scared.  I started to second-guess myself and my self-worth based on my long held body image issues.  As a way to “look the part” I decided I would train for a Bikini Competition.  I vividly remember standing in the gym with a tug on my heart and Jesus whispering, “You don’t have to do this, Mandi.”   The problem was that I had already made my “grand announcement” and was receiving so much praise and encouragement, I feared I couldn’t back out of it.  So I ignored God and thrust myself into 5-months of grueling training for an event my body was not designed to do.   All so I could convince myself I was “good enough” for people to hire me as a professional.

It didn’t work.Show Before and After

The day of the show, I was back stage, at 10% body fat, 20 lbs lighter and still felt absurdly “larger” than the other girls.  I was shaking my head in disbelief.  How could I still feel this way after so much work?  Not recognizing the woman I became, I prayed to God, pleading for Him to just be with me.  I was deep in shame and regret but He, of course, was there all along, and His peace renewed my strength.  I knew I would recommit my heart to Christ and try to put back the pieces of my heart with Him at the center.

But, here is where I would get the greatest shock and gift of grace of my entire life. 

The day of the show, my then “off-again” boyfriend,  Howard, whom I had not seen for 18-months, decided to fly in from California and surprise me at my show!  He was a bit aghast at my ribs and skinniness (he politely asked that I gain back 20lbs immediately) and I thought of it as a sweet gesture of support that I tried not to think much about given the fact that I was attempting to be “OVER HIM” from the past years of pain.  In my heart, he had always been “that guy” that I could not quite get over. 

Howard and I at Bikini

A week later, I got a call from Howard with some news!  He had apparently spoken to my Mom and Dad, asking their permission and forgiveness first, and wanted to let me know that he had finally figured out (with the help of  a couple years of therapy), that I was in fact “The One” all along.  That he had finally overcome his fears of inadequacy and commitment and he was ready to get married, have a family, travel the world and anything I wanted, if I’d have him. 

This news was of course a tremendous shock!  The words I had always hoped to hear were finally being said! I felt elated. 

“But…..,” he said.  Never a good sign.

“I have to tell you, I have a 8-month old baby girl, named Eden.” 

My elation was met with devastation and I could hear no more.  I hung up and cried out to God, “God have I not endured enough?  How can I bear this pain too? Please God….please.”  I cried all night.

But by morning, something in me all of a sudden shifted.  Something in my heart was triggered.  A hair thin strip of peace that “transcended all understanding” formed deep within me and began to grow.  For some reason, I knew everything was going to be alright.  I didn’t know how, but I went back to my word—SURRENDER.

Over the next month and several more conversations with Howard, I would come to understand that this baby girl, sweet Eden, while not planned by her parents, was still planned by God.  She would be an agent of change in Howard and would be used by God to transform his life.  She would renew Howard’s faith too, as he fought his own regrets.

I realized, it’s just like God to do such an act of Grace.   To take a time where I would blatantly ignore his voice and pull away from Him,  AND Howard would certainly make a bad choice trying to do things “his way” too and yet, God decided to bless us anyway. 

It’s just like God to take these unplanned and imperfect circumstances and make them PERFECT agents of change to propel us to the life He called us for, both individually and in marriage. 

“And we know that in all things, God works for the GOOD of those who love Him.  Who are called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:38

Version 2

In October 2014, I became Mrs. Howard Wright and from that decision of forgiveness onward, my life has been a whirlwind of change!  I gained back ALL the weight, moved to a new city and then another new city just 1 year later, adjusted to life as a “corporate wife” and of course, step-motherhood of a toddler!   And I wouldn’t CHANGE ONE THING!

God uses every single bit of it and has molded every fear,  feat and failure along the way into my Greater Purpose and this venture of A. Wright Fit.   I am passionately using my small platform to help others find their True Health from the inside-out!  Aligning our Fitness through our Faith and allowing God to take the reigns of our LIFE and our health!  To SURREND’her our way to becoming STRONG’her and WISE’her. 

a wright fit tag line halo

Because it’s just like God to make us STRONG’her than we know…..

WrightFamily2 11x14

Categories
Spiritual Health

Watershed Anniversary: Top 10-Lessons I’ve Learned Since June 1, 2013

I woke up on this day, June 1, exactly two years ago “ready” for a big day, but what actually came to be, would be far bigger than I ever imagined.

We all have these days, called Watershed moments, that change the course of our history.  This day is the anniversary for which my life has never been the same.

June 1, 2013, I did my first, and only, bikini competition.  But also the day that my then ex-boyfriend, now husband, Howard, came back into my life.    

Howard and I at Bikini

At the time, I had not seen Howard in about 18-months as he surprised me and showed up to my competition, flying in from California.  He had seen me in many shapes and forms over our 5-year history at that time, but he was surprised  that there was a lot MORE of me to see in that itty bitty bikini, but also a lot LESS of me to see as I was about 35-lbs lighter than when he and I had first started dating. 

As I have written about before, I was using the show in-part as an effort to teach myself the lessons in nutrition and fitness so I could be a better nutritionist and trainer.

  The other reason, and what I consider my “real” reason I took to such extreme measures to attain the “perfect body,” was to fill a void in my soul that had been caused from years of body image disorders. 

What I learned from this experience was that God is the only thing that can fill the gaps in our hearts and souls.  As happy as I thought I was going to be by getting such a “perfect” body, I was joyless, sad, lonely and ashamed.

While this experience has been truly significant in shaping who I am as a woman and now teacher of TRUE Health (in Body, Mind and Soul) I must admit that finding my love again, my Howard, would be the real reason to celebrate this day in my history.    

IMG_0575

My life as I knew it was going to drastically change from my single-girl, independent, successful life in Denver, CO to the love wrecked, whirlwind, jet-setting, never-a-dull-moment life I now live! 

Over these last two-years, I must admit that it has felt like huge juggernaut after juggernaut have been thrown in my way, all of which have been tremendous blessings but most certainly demanding quick adaptation, character development and growth—none of which are easy all the time.    

Being single, then bride, then wife and step-mom!
Being employed, then unemployed, then entrepreneur!
Being renter, then home-owner, then “interior designer” x 2!
Being new girl in one new city and then 14-months later being new girl in another new city.
Being healthy, then disabled with a back injury, then a new kind of healthy and strong!
Being in the leanest shape of my life, to back to the not-so-lean shape and being OK WITH THAT! 
Being a narrowly traveled woman then to a jet-setting, never home kind of woman.
Being ME then WE.    

I praise God that He has helped me to adapt as best as I can to a flip-flopped life.  I am woefully imperfect at some transitions and surprisingly adept at others.  I could not have done any of it without God in my heart guiding me along the way.   I have learned so much from Him! 

So, in honor of this marked personal anniversary,  I’d like to share the:

Top 10 Watershed Lessons I’ve Learned in the last 2-years!

  1. TRUST YOUR HEART:
    Howard and I had broken up at least 3 times in the 7-years it would take for us to walk down the aisle, so when he came back to me and told me I was the “One,”  I had plenty of cause for pause and contemplation.  But in the end, it was not about logic and what society would say about second (or third) chances, it was about what my heart said.  I prayed and prayed for several weeks and knew my heart was always his and that God had called us together.

    The same could be said from the experience of my bikini show.  I written once before how I knew in my heart this show was not what God was calling me to do, yet I did it any way.  I am so fortunate that God forgives us when we don’t listen and will find a way to bless and bring purpose from our mistakes.  Howard coming to my show would be part of that purpose. All the lessons I can teach others would be the other.

  2. YOU CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE, BUT GOD CAN:  People try to tell us that “people don’t change,” but that’s not true.  God changes people all the time.  I tried and tried to change my stubborn husband (full disclosure: I still do “try” sometimes…or all the time) all those years of dating, but in the end, he had to learn from within.  (Mental note to stop “trying”).

    The same can be said for me.  Howard loves me at any weight I come in (in fact the curvier the better in most ways!), but I was never trying to lose weight for him, or any man.  It was always because of a lie in my mind telling me I had to be more worthy.  God changed my heart to change my mind and allows me to see the beauty I am at all shapes and sizes.

  3. FORGIVENESS IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE GIVE OURSELVES:
    We all go through pains and do stupid things in our life.  Being able to forgive someone for a serious wrong they have done is a gift to them, certainly, but it is a gift to ourselves most.  To unburden our hearts of the pain and to restore your Faith that God will help you all find a way to make it right and well again will change your life. 

    In the same way, forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is a tremendous gift that will drastically change the course of our lives toward the path that God has chosen for us.

  4. MORE MONEY DOESN’T GIVE YOU MORE JOY, BUT GOD DOES:
    I am not ashamed to admit it, while I was perfectly successful and content on my own, I was looking forward to the travel and the house and excitement that being married to an extremely hard-working and accomplished man would provide as an added bonus to life.  But I would quickly learn, that just having worldly success and the blessing of “things” does not give you more JOY or peace.   

    My most joyful moments still come from those areas where God dwells most—those things money can’t buy.   In hearing my husbands laugh, being silly dancing with my step daughter, taking long walks holding hands, or talking with my mom or girlfriends on the phone.  My single most joyful feeling are those times where God’s love just fills my soul for no apparent reason.  The “stuff” is nice and is still a blessing, but certainly not what makes me truly HAPPY.  I am blessed to realize this.

  5. OUR MINDS GOVERN OUR BODY:
    What I think about most becomes my life or as Descartes said it,  “I think, therefore I am.” For most of my life, I would obsessively worry about my body and what I was eating, causing stress that caused me to over eat and then obsess even more.  This cycle would cause the yo-yo affect that would lead me down the bikini competition path way. 

    My thoughts also change the stress responses to my body for every day function.  Whatever we think about grows.  So if we focus on our problems, they grow.  If we focus on our blessings, they grow!   It impacts our BODY in every way:  how we walk, talk, work and love.

  6. OUR SOULS GOVERN OUR MINDS:
    I learned from a very poignant moment I realized that all of us suffer from LIES in our head that are not just mindset problems, but SPIRITUAL problems.   Learning that the devil preys on those very areas of our minds that are most susceptible is the number one strategy he uses to destroy our Faith and Happiness. 

    The same lesson was learned by my husband as there was a LIE he had perpetually repeated about how he was incapable of marriage that had to take years of counseling and deep soul work to re-wire in his thoughts.   We are blessed that we serve a God that sets us back on the Rock of Truth.

  7. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS:  All it takes is a solid two-years of traveling to realize it doesn’t matter the house (or hotel), but it matters where your heart is.  Building a “home” requires only the foundation in your heart and soul that you take with you wherever you are together.

  8. “Marriage is not designed to make us HAPPY, but to make us HOLY.”
    This quote was from my Pastor, Alan Kraft, of Christ Community Church in Greeley, Co.  I didn’t quite get it at the time but I am getting it now!  I have written before that my husband is my greatest teacher for me—he serves as a MIRROR to me and I am a MIRROR to him.  We love it when our mirrors properly reflect the love of God in our hearts.  But there are times where we see quite clearly that they reflect our flaws and selfish sin.  These are hard lessons.  But I praise God because I would never have seen these things without my husband.  For better or worse, he is making me the Holy woman God wants me to be and I am doing to same for him.

  9. PRAYER SAVES:
    My communication levels with God have never been so frequent and ongoing.  These rapid and great changes in my life can naturally evoke a lot of fear, but because I find constant relief as I give these fears over to God in prayer, I wind up praying much more now than I ever have.  He has given me comfort in tough trials, bravery to step out in Faith, a companion in the times of loneliness, and a place where I can praise and thank Him for his abundant blessings.

  10. YOU CAN’T MESS WITH A MAN’S FOOD:
    Funny that God should bring a “Nutrient-Based”, nutrition girl to become “One” with a Veggie-Hating man, but alas, here we are.  I learned VERY early on that trying to become my husbands “Health Coach” was not going to happen.  I struggle with this (eh hmm…A LOT) some times, mainly because my sin of obsessing about food for myself still discourages me.   But most of the time I just have to throw my hands up in the air and laugh.  I hear this from nearly all of my clients and happily married women I know….you just don’t go there.    

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Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

4 Ways to Handle Unsupportive Friends When You’re Trying to Be Healthy!

Naysayers

The other day, I was on my weekly call with one of my clients and she had just experienced a lunch outing that I was very familiar with. 

Now, my client has made a lot of progress over the course of the last 6-12 months.  Having turned 40, something has been sparked inside her and she has been in hot pursuit of her health and her life!  She has lost over 27 lbs and has sparked a passion for strength training and fitness that she has never felt before!  In fact, 2 months ago, she hired me to help her achieve a big dream of possibly doing a Bikini Competition or a Fitness Photoshoot. 

In other words, she has just pushed the “GO” button on pursuing a dream that is out of her comfort zone!  It’s big, bold and audacious, and she is doing it a SMART way by hiring someone like me to make sure she is staying balanced, level-headed and doesn’t lose herself in a quest for a fit body.  We have seen incredible progress so far!  She’s a shining example!

However, with such audacious goals she and I both know that she has to be very consistent and mindful of her nutrition.  In any Fat Loss effort, your NUTRITION is ~75% of the solution!  She already trains about 4x/week and works out HARD, but if her nutrition is not on point, there is little hope that her metabolism will spark up enough to continue to lose enough body fat to reach her goals.

Well, this week she experienced an outing with some of her coworkers that I have experienced dozens of times before—what I’ll call the “Girls Who Lunch Conundrum.”  

They all went to the standard restaurant chain, ordered a fried appetizer, sandwiches and fries, and I’m guessing diet sodas too.  My client declined on eating the appetizer and ordered a chicken salad with dressing on the side. I am so proud!

Well, as you can imagine that she got quite of bit of slack for being the “only healthy one” at the table.   They made jokes and little snippy comments and really bummed her out.   I’ll call this reaction the “naysayer” reaction.  

Naysayers

She came to me on our call feeling a little defeated.  She said, “I’m just trying to be healthy for myself and they try to make me feel guilty about it.  I’m not judging them for their food choices at all, I’m just not choosing not to eat them.  I don’t see why they are judging me for my food choices.”

You can imagine how she feels right?!  I mean, haven’t we all been there?  I know that I have felt this exact same way with not only acquaintance type of friends (the coworker variety) but also with some of my closest friends, and family members. This is exactly what I discussed on my 5-Part Series called WINE NOT?!  too.  The social implications of being healthy can be the hardest!

Being healthy can sometimes make you feel like you are on an island all alone. Not only are you battling the urge blow off your new healthy food and exercise habits, but you are now also battling some of your closest friends and family who are not exactly supporting you!

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What I learned over the years of being the “healthy one” at the restaurant has allowed a shift in perspective and spiritual awareness that has made a monumental difference in how I handle the snippy little comments from people or simply any friend or family member that just doesn’t “get it” with regards to my health choices.

I shared these lessons with my client on our call and I am sharing them with you today too!

4 Ways to Handle Your Unsupportive Friends:

1. You can Empathize with Their Defensiveness:

Before you started to make all these tough health choices for yourself, you knew just what it was like to be in their shoes.  You can remember all those times that you used food as a coping mechanism for your own stress and can empathize with the fact that they are feeling insecure and defeated by their own choices. 

Empathy

In the situation for my client, all of her coworkers were professional women that had small children at home.  So they worked all day and had families to care for at night and all had some weight to lose.   I reminded her how they must be feeling on the inside.  Their stress is likely so high that they saw the fried appetizer and the sandwich and french fries as their best solution to cope with that stress.  They see their food choices as their “reward” for their hard work.  All too common and we can all relate.      

Now mind you, they are wrong.   Those food choices are actually making their stress worse in many ways because they are getting way too much fat (especially trans fats) and not nearly enough nutrients which would help their bodies physically deal with the cortisol and adrenaline (e.g. the stress hormones) much better.   

But I simply reminded my client that they just haven’t learned that lesson for themselves yet.   She is lucky that she has!

The same goes for all of us. If we can detach from our reactions for a beat and simply take the perspective of their journey and understand that their reaction is not about you at all, but rather is  a symptom of their own struggle, then you are able to detach and move on.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

How Others Treat You

Empathy takes away their power and ability to change you.  Empathy gives you a stronger mindset that will stop the event from festering in your mind and consume any part of your energy.    Empathy allows you to move on unfazed. 

2. You Can Realize that God Didn’t Design You to be Defensive Either:

This one is a big one and a more challenging one to grasp but really important.  It is all too easy to use someone’s defensive behavior as an excuse to react defensively ourselves. 

We all do it:

Someone criticizes you and in return you criticize them.

Someone questions your actions or beliefs and you immediately want to question their actions and beliefs right back.

We must all realize that this is our own sin that will not serve us or our Greater Purpose. 

I was reminded in a book I read recently called “Good News for Those Trying Harder,” by Pastor Alan Kraft that some of the most overlooked sins in our lives are the following:

  • Gossiping
  • Complaining
  • Criticizing
  • Boasting
  • Shifting Blame
  • Defensiveness
  • Deceiving Others

The author challenged me to try to go 1-week without doing any of the above. 

…I lasted about 20-minutes. Ha! 

So often, we think just because we are doing something good for ourselves that we now have the right to judge others for not catching on with us yet.  

This is called being “Self Righteous.” 

To me, this is the number one sin that many Christian people have today.  That we can get caught up thinking  just because we are “Christian” that we are some how “better than” or “above” everyone else. We don’t realize that this very thinking is a sin itself! 

Now, I could clearly get into a theological tangent here, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say, all of us must hold ourselves accountable for our reactions and stop worrying about theirs.

If we want them to stop being defensive with us, we first just learn to not react defensively either. 

If we want them to support us, we better be sure that we are already supporting them!

God did not design us to react this way and we must recognize our own sin and focus on bettering ourselves first!

“Let ye among you without sin be the first do condemn.”

First Stone

3. You Can Give More Love Because You Have Love:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is very few relationships are actually 50/50.

If you find yourself being the one that always seems to give more effort in your relationships, this can often harbor feelings of resentment within you. 

But for those that find the courage and ability to SURREND’her your life up to God, means that you can experience a fulfillment of love on unprecedented levels.

By opening up your soul to the love of God to fill you up causes a massive shift in all of your relationships. 

You realize, you depend less on other people’s love, affirmation and validation because you have more than enough of all of that from God. 

This is also the case for our friends and family that don’t understand or criticize our health and behavior.   

We can love them back, even in their criticism, because we have enough love to give.  We don’t have to depend on their praise or affirmation.  We have all we need from God.

Cup Overflows

4. You can be a Student and a Teacher:

I have come to understand that my friends, family members and acquaintances in my life come to me with a purpose—-I can both learn and teach!

Be A Student:  By opening yourself up to the empathy and understanding from lesson #1 you learn so much!  This creates a better version of you!  Always strive to gain wisdom and understanding in this world and realize these circumstances and people are the tools that will give you that.

Be a Teacher:  Now this is not to say that you need to tell all your friends exactly what they need to be doing.  Umm….no!  That will probably get the opposite reaction than the one you hope for! 

Instead, you teach them by doing. 

So whether my client or her coworkers realized it right then too, she was serving as a valuable teacher for them.  She showed them that it is possible to stare something like fried asparagus in the face and not eat it.  It is possible to order healthy foods at typically unhealthy places.  It is possible to create big, audacious goals and to actually stick to them and conquer them!

As Mahatma Gandhi said,  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

Be the change

My personal and mission for A.Wright Fit is found from Matthew 5:16.  I want to “Let my Light  Shine Before Others so that They May See (My) Good Deeds and Glorify my Father in Heaven.”

Matt 5-16

I encourage us all to continue to be the best versions of ourselves so that we can shine a light on others to be the best version of themselves!

Categories
Food & Nutrition

{Part 2} Wine Not?! The Wine:Body Connection

Making a tough social change for me with figuring out what was going on in my BODY!

Yesterday, I began a 5-Part series on how I made the decision to cut back, or basically, “break-up” with my good friend WINE.

It was not an easy decision to make and it came with a PROCESS like all good changes do.

Today, I’m going to take you through my BODY‘s process and why I knew this change for my health was a much needed change for my BODY.

To get the context of how this particular health decision came to fruition I should explain that my body has been through A LOT of ups and downs because of my constant struggle with “trying to lose weight” and taking more and more severe measures to achieve that.

I would out myself as a “Strict-Binger” in the yo-yo dieting circus of my life.

Because I was so motivated to always get “leaner and leaner” I would practice incredibly STRICT diets of eliminating sugar, candy, high fat foods, grains and other carbs and replace them with protein supplements, artificial sweeteners and other “fake” processed food.

I would do this with a goal in mind, like, a vacation or a weekend night out. I would be super STRICT on my diet, exercise like a maniac (easily 2-3 hours a day) and then on my night out or vacation……BINGE city baby!! One drink of wine…..led to some cheese….which led to dessert and REPEAT until I basically fell out.

Then, as I inevitably put on anywhere from 5-10lbs over the weekend, out of guilt and shame I would go even stricter the next time around.

Each time, I would need larger and larger goals to keep me motivated to lose weight and workout like a crazy person!

This yo-yo mini-cycle eventually led me to the decision to do the bikini competition which I spoke about in my blog HERE. This competition required 5 months straight of no cheating, no alcohol, low low carb and high high protein. It was the longest I had gone on my overly strict regimen, for sure!

This bikini competition, like for so many of my fellow bloggers HERE and HERE and HERE came with some severe body consequences. I suffered from amorrhea (losing one’s menstrual cycle) and definite signs of nutrient deficiency throughout my body as well as some hormonal issues that I haven’t even figured out yet.

What was more, was the whirl wind part of my life was coming into high gear. My “ex boyfriend,” had decided to show up to my bikini competition as a surprise after 18-months of not hearing from or seeing him. As we reconnected a little on the day of my show about 5 days later called me and confessed he knew I was “the one” and then all of a sudden we were engaged! WHIRL WIND!!

So after a 5-month period of single living, uber strict eating, no alcohol, no cheating and crazy amounts of exercise…..within just a few short weeks, I was celebrating one of the most exciting times of my life and eating and drinking my way to enjoying it! Everything was cause for alcohol-with no one better than my best drinking mate of course! Everything was cause for celebration and indulgence and vacation after vacation after vacation!
So this ULTIMATE YO-YO of dieting lead to some pretty severe stomach issues. I still suffer from
digestive tract issues that I am not sure what is going on,

still ………after 18-months post-competition. 🙁

I AM making progress though and I have completely changed my approach on eating food. Instead of the Strict/Binge nutzo cycle, I now eat and promote a holistic approach to eating where you eat whole, unprocessed foods most of the time without being overly strict about it. I advocate this eating not just because it works for me (and my issues), but because it’s the most sustainable and least binge-inducing form of eating there is! Period.

So, as I cleaned up my eating quite easily (for me), there was this whole WINE issue that was clearly needing to be addressed in my body too.

One thing was certain, as fun as she was to hang-out with, my friend WINE made me feel pretty bad. Like, really, really bad.

While from a nutritional standpoint, I know alcohol wasn’t the only cause for my body issues, it certainly was a huge culprit that exacerbated the affects of all that was going on in my body.

Here’s why:

Alcohol has no nutrition. It has calories of course (7 calories per gram) but it is void of all vitamins and minerals.

(As a reminder) Among other functions, vitamins and minerals are the essential components that allow our food to be broken down to be used as fuel.

Vitamins and Minerals are absorbed in the gut, mainly the small intestine, and then carried all over your body to do their functional thing.

Now, I know what you are thinking! Yes, wine does have some nutrients because of those antioxidants from the wine skins, but the problem for someone like me, who was having some digestive issues, is the good does NOT out weigh the bad.

When we ingest alcohol, our bodies want to get it digested FIRST before anything else! It is what’s called “highly reactive,” biochemically speaking.

(If I might pull out some random memory of my degree in Biology/Biochemistry) the hydroxyl ending of alcohol (-OH) is highly reactive in our bodies, so it gets first priority to biochemical reactions as it gets sent down to the stomach, to the small intestines and over to the liver to be oxidized and metabolized (i.e. broken down).

This action overall slows down your metabolism because of our body’s need to oxidize alcohol so quickly to “detox” will lead to a slow down of ALL other systems. Some people who want to support their detox system make use of glutathione mercury detoxification so I hear. This is why some of my smart friends and mentors write articles about how alcohol inhibits fat loss too.

The problem is that not only is alcohol void of any vitamins and minerals itself, it is actually worse because it still requires vitamins and minerals from our body to get metabolized.

For this reason, it’s actually called an Anti-Nutrient because it basically steals the much needed vitamins and minerals from our bodies without replacing them!

So alcohol has been that friend that just takes and takes and takes and never gives anything back! Soooo rude, right?!

In addition to this fact, it can also lead to a whole host of other unfavorable affects. According to an article on the Telegraph.UK, alcohol “to varying degrees it can deplete minerals, affect microbes and bacteria in the gut, tax the immune system, interrupt sleep patterns, accelerate aging and lead to dehydration.“

These adverse affects can get even worse for some of us experiencing digestive issues.

According to website Alcohol Rehab

  • * It can cause malabsorption so that the individual is not absorbing all the nutrients from food they need.
  • * It may cause leaky gut syndrome where unwanted toxins are able to leak through the intestine into the rest of the body. These toxins then cause problems and lead to ill-health.
  • * It can exacerbate irritable bowel syndrome
  • *Alcohol can cause both diarrhea and constipation

Well, no wonder I was feeling so CRAPPY grid-cell-5151-1407875654-5right?!

Obviously, there are certain things that may help some of the above. For example, I’ve heard of things like megasporebiotic probiotic or similar, possibly helping leaky gut syndrome. However, before you do anything, it would always be worth consulting your doctor first. Depending on your relationship with alcohol, your doctor may suggest different methods of treatment for your ailments. If you or someone you know is an excessive drinker or has an alcohol abuse problem, the doctor may suggest a visit to a rehabilitation center similar to The Holistic Sanctuary (https://www.theholisticsanctuary.com/rehab-centers/drug/) for extra support. This is because of the number of factors that could result from this kind of substance abuse.

In the same article, it also explains that for some really excessive drinkers, alcohol has actually not just shown poor nutrition, but MALNUTRITION. Malnutrition means that you are so severely nutrient deficient in macronutrient or micronutrients (vitamins and minerals), you are actually suffering sever body consequences and life threatening disorders. (wikipedia.com)

The reason is that because you are getting so many calories from the anti-nutrient alcohol, you are not hungry. When you’re not hungry, you’re not eating enough food to get the protein, energy and vitamins and minerals you need (or you’re just eating Taco Bell at 2am, which, let’s face it, is also not getting you many vitamins and minerals, either). It can become a very serious deal at this point!!

OK OK OK…..I can practically hear the whistles blowing and “Party Fouls” I’ve just been given though the interweb here. I get it, I’ve just put a major damper on some of your happy hour plans this weekend!

But, AGAIN, I am not here up on my soap box trying to tell YOU what to do. I am only telling you what was physically going on in MY body and one of the main reasons I had to step back.

Ultimately, alcohol does’t work so well in MY body. You might be one of those lucky people that has no adverse physical reactions to alcohol and might only feel some of the benefits that wine can bring. I’m just not one of those lucky ones.

If you are experiencing some intestinal issues or any other body symptoms that you think might be caused or exacerbated from alcohol, the only way to find out is to actually go through the process of elimination and reintroduction. This can go for ANY substance or food that you think might be giving your body some “issues”.

Elimination: For a period of minimum 21 days (preferably 30 days), you completely eliminate the food/drink group(s) from your system. Absolutely no cheating, sips, tastes or accidental ingestion. If you take one sip, you start your 21-30 days over.

Reintroduction: After going 30 days without the food/substance, you try moderately reintroducing it back into your diet. I have found the best practice to do this is to focus on just 1 meal, have a moderate portion of the item and take note of how you feel in the moment and how you feel the next day.

For some who are extra motivated, I always recommend the challenge “The Whole 30” and the book It Starts With Food by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. They take you through 30 days of eliminating ALL things that might give a person digestive or body issues and then take the time to reintroduce each food group (including alcohol) back into your body. This is the best way to prove that your issues are caused by, say, alcohol, and not gluten AND alcohol.

It’s not an easy undertaking for some, and I always, ALWAYS caution my clients to see it as a testing experiment, NOT a diet of restrictive RULES to follow. The reason is that if you only focus on “losing weight” while restricting food/alcohol choices you will more than like binge on the foods when done (thereby making your 30-day experiment null and void) and you’ll be disappointed if you don’t “lose the amount of weight you thought you would by being so strict.”

It‘s a system that is not about weight loss, its about body awareness. A key distinction!

After all of this, you would think that after feeling these adverse BODY affects to alcohol, it would have been a ‘no-brainer’ to just go without, but my relationship with WINE was not over just because I knew it had some adverse affects on my body.

No, I had to dig deeper to get to this point. Tomorrow, I’ll share some of the awakenings I had to MENTALLY get to the point of being able to break-up with my friend WINE.

You’ll come back, right? I mean, WINE NOT?

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Purging My Past | Moving Beyond The Person I Thought I “Should” Be

Purging My Past

I don’t think I’ve ever felt my body shake as much as it was at that very moment. I was having an ‘out-of-body’ experience to it’s highest degree. I was up on a stage, in front of hundreds of people including my closest friends and family wearing…….gulp…..a bikini about the size of a slice of bread.

How many of you have ever thought you needed to lose weight before you could be happy? How many thought you needed to lose weight before you would find a man to love you? How many have ever thought you needed to be a certain size to represent the woman you think you should be? Have bought certain clothes, styled your hair, and wore certain make-up to fit into that role? Have changed anything about your appearance in order to “dress the part” of the person you thought you should be?

Well, me, up on a stage, in some stripper high heals, wearing a bikini the size of a thumb nail, loaded with tons of make-up and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane is the ultimate version of me trying to “dress the part” of the person I thought I was supposed to be.

To literally set the stage, we need to back-up in time just a bit.

It was about 6-months prior to this moment, I was beginning to experience a significant shift in my life. I decided I was going to pursue my passion of being a nutritionist and personal trainer in addition to my regular full-time job. The opportunity had presented itself at my favorite gym (Bodies by Perseverance in Denver, CO) and it was all clicking into place, the way all good things tend to do. I felt God had led me to that very point and I was nervously anticipating the fun I was going to have seeking a vocation from this passion. I felt strongly that there was a purpose behind this passion.

Along with that feeling of purpose, however, it also evoked a lot of the long held fears of mine including body image issues, insecurities, feeling good enough, smart enough, likable enough…..I mean, enough!

We all deal with body image issues at some point. But it is important to remember that if there is something about your appearance that you would like to change, there are solutions out there to give your confidence a boost.

One of my friends who lives in chicago recently had a mommy makeover after visiting a plastic surgeon and has never felt better. Another friend of mine has recently had a breast augmentation procedure.

Just remember that if you do decide to get plastic surgery, then it is fundamental that you do your research to find a reputable surgeon that you know that you can trust. Not sure where to begin? Why not try doing some research into the best plastic surgeon denver has to offer? Life is all about finding what makes you happy after all.

There are a lot of plastic surgeons out there available for those who are interested in changing their bodies from New York City, NY to Louisville, KY. No matter where you decide to go or what you decide to do remember it’s up to you.

However, as for me, those fears I felt weren’t about IF I was going to move forward (I was committed!), it was more about HOW I was supposed to move forward. Unsure of what path I should take to be “successful.”

Should. It’s just a bad word.

But, instead of waiting and listening, I was off and running! Naturally I am a “DO-er” in life. If I commit to something, I’m ALL-IN and I follow through! Both a great character strength and flaw and you’ll see why.

After seeing dozens of fellow gym-mates, mentors and friends compete in body building competitions I decided that the best way to dive head first into the nutrition field would be to “test my body” on the diets necessary to get ultra lean.

However, not long after I had made my grand announcement and already had my plan in place, I had this nagging in my head. Something, or more accurately, someone, was telling me that I didn’t have to do this show to prove anything. I can still picture exactly where I was when I felt this voice from within. I know now this was the voice of God or what some may call my divine intuition.

The problem was that the FEAR in me shouted louder. As I said, since I’m a person who follows-through, I quite naturally was not about to quit, especially once I made the grand announcement.

Also, I felt enormous self-pressure to look the part of a trainer and nutritionist if I expected anyone to pay for my services. The health and fitness industry very clearly has a “look.” After all, as many clients will remind me, if you don’t look in shape yourself, how are you expected to sell your services? What does that say about your technique? I don’t disagree there.

But that pressure to “look the part” intensifies when you combine it with an already competitive personality and the repetitive FEAR in my head. I didn’t just want to look fit, I wanted to look the fittest. I was determining what “fit” meant by comparing myself to all the other trainers and health enthusiasts out there, which there are thousands of course.

Alas, I entered a bikini competition as a way to really push me to get to where I thought I should to go. It is no small undertaking. In addition to my full-time job, my gym teaching schedule, and my somewhat sad dating and social life, I was working out 2-3 hours per day, 6 days a week. Since my body does not naturally get very lean or lose weight, I had to take some more drastic cuts to certain food groups (ie. carbs) and spent over 5 months in training before I was ready. Going five-months on a strict diet without cheating one time is HARD.

But, I was very driven. I was fueled by this need to prove that I could do it. I was consumed thinking not about the present tense, but about the day of the show and how great I was going to feel in my new body. All the respect and business it would give me!

But that’s ALL I could think about. Forget hearing my intuition at that point. Forget being there for anyone else. I was completely submerged into myself and the show. That was it.

The day of the show, as the other 20 contestants and I all walked off the stage, all of the girls where exhaling and smiling from the nerves and the obvious “rush” of excitement they were feeling.

I was not feeling a rush of excitement. I was feeling morose, sad, lonely, and beyond uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t just because I was literally starving, although that would clearly cause a whole host of negative emotions. No, it was because I thought that this was going to be that peak of greatness, accomplishment and success I had set out to achieve. I finally looked the part!

Instead, I realized that the hill I thought I was climbing was more aptly a hole I was digging. Instead of going higher and higher to my Greater Purpose, I was actually going deeper and deeper away from it.

That is the thing about our Greater Purpose. It is not defined in the ways we think it is defined. We think of ourselves as these soldiers that have to go out and fight for what God wants us to do, but that is not necessarily right. I believe so often, the Good path means that we actually slow down. Listen to Him and check-in with Him. What He might be saying is to do nothing at all. Just BE.

The severe disappointment I felt was not because I didn’t “win” (I was thrilled with 5th place) or because I wasn’t proud of all the work I had done and the courage it took to get up on that stage. I felt all of those things.

No, the disappointment was because I had heard the voice beforehand and I knew better. I knew better than to think this was going to magically prove anything by getting up on that stage. I knew better than to think that by being “skinny” I would be happy! I certainly did not feel skinny at all and I certainly was NOT happy. Let me tell you, backstage at that show, I did not feel skinny. Even at 12% body fat, I felt huge compared to all the other girls there. That was a severe sign that I was not mentally healthy at all!

That was just it. I put so much attention on my outward appearance and “looking healthy” I endured an incredibly unhealthy mind and spirit. I felt horrible about myself and frankly embarrassed. Such that to be completely honest, I have struggled immensely with how to share this story. It causes some significant tinges of guilt for me.

But it must be shared because it is a very valuable part of my story. The lessons I learned from going so far in the WRONG direction were absolutely what I needed at this time.

Let me be very clear, the problem was not that I chose to do a bikini competition. I’m not knocking anyone who has done a competition or intends to do one. I have clients that I take through the process of preparing for a show as long as I know that they are doing it for the right reasons.

The reason WHY you do anything for your body is incredibly important in determining if you can meet a body goal without compromising your mind’s health and your spiritual health.

The problem for me was my WHY. Because my why ultimately came from a place of insecurity. And once you give into that insecurity, that insecurity grows. That’s how FEAR works.

So it meant that this competition and my training superseded everything in my life! It was the only thing I could think about, which meant I was worshiping it more than I was worshiping God. My body had become my idol.

I think most people can see that doing a competition such as this is an extreme exploitation of what it means to be “healthy.” But what if it’s not so obvious and extreme? What it you are compromising your mind and spiritual health in exchange for your body’s health without even knowing it?

There are so many ways that it has become very normal in society worry about our appearance. But the act of “worrying” about fitting-in is the very essence that drives us in FEAR and toward unhealthy goals. While yours might not be as extreme as a body building competition, it could be just as damaging mentally or spiritually. Something very subtle or not-so-subtle things like agonizing over the mirror about your looks; isolating yourself at home because you’re ashamed of how you look; skipping meals or building up eating disorders to cover up guilt; refusing to date until you lose 20lbs; diets, diet pills, and plastic surgery… etc! Our society is taking more and more extreme measures trying to be good enough and we are ignoring our own divine intuition on a daily basis!

By God’s grace, I thankfully came to realize the consequences of not listening to my divine intuition and how far that could take my mind away from a healthy mindset about my health. God took me by my Right hand and helped me navigate my way back to True Health. A journey I am still on and a journey I am called to share with you.

He was always ready for when I was ready.

Today, out of remembrance of this story that I hate to share, and in the interest of continuing to Purge My Past, I did something else that was very good for my mind and soul—I purged the past of my CLOSET!

I realized when looking at ALL the clothes I have, that I often times was shopping for this person that I thought I should be. I was shopping for a body that was not mine. I was also holding onto a lot of clothes that don’t fit me now (a lot of the ones that I was wearing when I was down to 12% body fat). Don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that I could find Black Friday promotions to lower the cost of clothes, but I wasn’t helping myself.

It struck me today, that while I’m purging this story up and trying to focus on my future walk, it would make sense to also purge ALL the ways I had tried to play the role of someone I wasn’t. As you can see by this massive pile of clothes, there was a lot of old ways of thinking and old versions of me that needed to go! I have never felt more free from the burden of being anything other than ME!

Pile of Clothes

It’s time to move beyond the person I thought I “should” be. It’s time to just be me.

JOURNALING QUESTIONS:

What are some of the ways that you tell yourself you have to play the role of a certain person in order to be happy or to be someone you think you should be?

Is there a feeling of divine intuition regarding your appearance that has been nagging at you but you’ve been ignoring? I encourage you to quiet your mind and heart and listen. Write down whatever you hear and if it comes to you, why you think you feel it? If you don’t know why, I encourage you to sit and wait for a while before you move. More will be revealed.

Find a way to purge your past today! Whether it’s throwing out old clothes, burning up old stories, or cutting ties to places or even people that don’t represent the person you ARE.

REFOCUS: Once you have taken the time to purge the past, I encourage you to then reframe your mind back to the present by focusing back on God’s love for you. You don’t need to live in the past of your regrets. Come back to the presence of God’s love.

“I don‘t have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way He Loves Me.”
Oh How He Loves Us, by

In Good Health,

Mandi