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Food & Nutrition Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

7-Steps to Conquer Emotional Eating (Part 2)

LATE NIGHT SNACK

“I’m not hungry but I really need something sweet right now.  Well now that I’ve had one bite how about another bite…. and then….ok just one more.”

This is essentially my inner monologue several times per week.  I am thinking these thoughts usually in the evening, after I’ve had a healthy dinner, my body feels satisfied, and I could easily go to bed content.

But, I don’t.

Why?  Because usually at that time, I also have this little nagging feeling in my head, mouth and stomach.  As though there is this little creature that is screaming “I need something sweet!  I need a treat!”  Sure enough,  I wind up in our pantry munching just for the sake of munching.  I’ve learned to have healthy sweet treats on hand, thankfully, but when we are away from home, forget about it!  I get myself into some precarious, overeating situations quickly!

I know I’m not alone with this little creature in my head.  For me it’s all about the sweets.  For you, it might be salty/crunchy variety.  But we can all easily suffer from CRAVINGS for food that is not about hunger at all.

Yesterday, I wrote about reading a very relatable book called, ‘Made to Crave’ by Lysa TerKeurst, where she wrote about her journey of trying to refocus her Cravings to God instead of the junk food she felt controlled by.   

Her book and scriptures prompted me to take a deeper dive into what the bible actually has to say about food and cravings too!  Surprisingly there was a lot!  It made me feel more “normal” knowing that if God uses food as an example in the Bible, then I’m not the only one out there exploiting and idolizing the role of food in my life.  It also gave me Hope because it gave me some scriptural places that I should be focusing my attention and cravings:

  1. The Word of God
  2. His will for my life (i.e. My Greater Purpose). 

This begs the question, however, how do we apply this to our every day life?  How do we actually take such a challenge and convert it into applicable, every day ACTION toward lasting success?

For me, the answer is easy because I’m going to use the same strategy I implement for ALL changes I want to make in my health and in my life.

Make a goal out of it.

Not just any goal, mind you.  No, as a woman of Faith, I know that this kind of challenge (which clearly has some Spiritual depth to it) means I need to make this a SURREND’hered goal!   

I will use my 7-Steps to SURREND’hered Goal Development that I will use to effectively plan and implement this new way of health to defeat my affinity toward emotional and overeating. 

I recently offered an 8-day workshop explaining all 7-Steps to SURREND’hered Goals to an amazing group of individuals that included daily emails, examples, resources and videos of me explaining each step.  Sorry if you missed it!

Lucky for you, however, because I have actually turned all 7-Steps into an Ebook that I am now offering for FREE to all email subscribers.  The book includes an in-depth look at all 7-steps to succeed in any goal, a list of books and references, PLUS a bonus of my fillable forms and charts that will help you effectively plan your own success!  You’ll see more of those is this very article.

Click this link to receive your FREE copy of this Ebook here!

My 7-Steps to SURREND’hered Goal Development are:

7-Steps to SURREND'hered Goals FINAL

So, while you get the full in-depth explanation of all of these 7-Steps in my Ebook, I wanted to offer a living example of these 7-Steps to SURREND’hered Goals as they apply to this goal I have of overcoming my emotional and overeating!

Step 1:  SURREND’her It:

As I explain in my ebook, this step is all about offering my goal as a living sacrifice to God.  This is recognizing that I will need to depend wholly on God’s strength to actually be able to conquer this dream.  To effectively practice this art of SURREND’hering I know I will need to do both PLANNING + PRAYER.     From one of my favorite books, The Circle Maker, by Mark Batterson, I have to do as he advises:

“Plan like it depends on me, but Pray like it depends on God.”

Also, even the Bible reinforces that to achieve any dream there is much activity required.

“A dream comes through much activity, and a fool’s voice in known by his many words.”  Ecclesiastics 5:3

So, I’m not going to be “all talk,”  or even “all prayer”, I am going to make a plan and put it into action!

Step 2:  DREAM It!

As I also explain, while I say my goal is to “not overeat or be an emotional eater” I know that this is not actually how I am to phrase my goal.  Nope, my goal needs to be AUDACIOUS, S.M.A.R.T., stated in the POSITIVE and PROACTIVE tense, and is BALANCED to include not just BODY goals but also MINDSET and SPIRITUAL goals too!  (You’ll have to read up to know what all of these rules mean!)

So my dream is actually:

To go 6-months straight of emotionally disconnecting from my food, intentionally “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full, planning and eating on a timed schedule, and use the act of eating to draw me closer with God, my Greater Purpose and His Word.  I will measure my success by body measurements as well as journaling/emotional comparisons.”

You can see that my above dream is measured and includes BODY, MIND and SPIRITUAL aspects to conquering this dream.

Step 3:  DIVIDE It!

As you’ll see, again, in the ebook the purpose of DIVIDING your ultimate goal is to create short-term “Phases” of goals that you focus on.  This will help not only help avoid the feeling of “overwhelm”  by such an audacious goal, but it will also provide opportunity for the very important REST periods and CELEBRATIONS after I accomplish each Phase Goal.

For this ultimate goal, I will divide all 6-Months up into 6 Phases:

Phase 1 (Month 1):  For 70% of the first 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal.

(*note* this will be broken down into “Mini-Goals”  for this first Phase as is covered in the ebook)

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

REST + CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 3 full days off of all the habits and do something enjoyable to celebrate my success. 

Phase 2:  (Month 2):  For 80% of the next 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal. 

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

REST + CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 3 full days off of all the habits and do something enjoyable to celebrate my success.

Phase 3: (Month 3):  For 90% of the next 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal.

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

REST + CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 3 full days off of all the habits and do something enjoyable to celebrate my success.

Phase 4: (Month 4):  For 95% of the next 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal.

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

REST + CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 3 full days off of all the habits and do something enjoyable to celebrate my success.

Phase 5: (Month 5):  For 97% of the next 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal.

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

REST + CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 3 full days off of all the habits and do something enjoyable to celebrate my success.

Phase 6: (Month 6):  For 100% of the next 30 days of “eating to live,” only eating until I’m 80% full and eating on the planned schedule, and journaling and praying for each meal.

-Body Measurements/Pictures Taken

***REST + ULTIMATE CELEBRATION PLAN— I will take 7-full days off of all the habits and do something I dream of doing in honor of God, my Greater Purpose, my health and my life.  After 6-months of focusing my mind LIVING, my “celebration” is not going to be about overindulging on food!  It is going to be a vacation, a special outfit, and activity that I will do in honor of God!

Step 4: VISUALIZE & AFFIRM It!

As I expand on in the ebook, here is where I’m going to implement some proven psychological habits that reinforce this change to the subconscious area of my brain! 

I will make a daily/weekly habit of visualizing myself as this person capable of walking away from food when I’m 80% full.  I visualize myself going through my day, eating each meal on the schedule that I developed, journaling after each meal, relying on proper serving sizes and praying through each meal. 

I will also affirm this goal by repeating phrases to myself like “I eat to live” and “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” 

I may have a word of affirmation like “Satisfied” and an anthem (i.e. an inspirational song) like “I’m Going All The Way” by Sounds of Blackness.

Step 5: HABITUALIZE It!

Here is where I get a chance to practice daily habits to enforce this bigger goal.  I know from studying habits  that I need to actually replace my existing habit loops with new behaviors  so I can keep the Cue and the Reward, but just change up my behavior. 

I already hit on a few of the new habits that are tied to the actual goal:

  • -Eating at regularly scheduled times
  • -Journaling after each meal
  • -Praying before each meal
  • -Using a personal scale (1-10) to determine when I’m 80% full.
  • -Focus on healthier, more satisfying foods and drinks to help maintain cravings.
  • -I also may engage in some new habits like fasting 1-2 meals per week and eventually may fast 1-2 days per week to help reinforce my emotional detachment from food and turn it toward God instead.
  • These habits do not need to be introduced all at once.  I am actually only going to focus on 1 habit at a time and commit to doing each one for each Phase Goal!  I will rest and celebrate before adding on a new habit. 

Since I know new habits need at least 21-days to implement as regular habits, I will only take on a couple changes at a time so I can do it well.

STEP 6:  RITUALIZE It!

This is my favorite part because here is where I get to jazz up my habits in my own unique way.  I am going to buy a special journal and pen to journal in because I know that pretty little things make me happy and will up the reward center in my brain.   

I will create a morning ritual that will help me stay balanced and centered.  I am also going to ritualize the way that I eat–I am going to put my food on plate and sit down to eat and say a prayer before I start to eat.  This ritual of eating will help raise my awareness and mindfulness. 

Step 7:  TRACK & CELEBRATE It!

This is where I’m going to further ritualize and up my reward center of my brain by tracking how well I’m doing at my daily habits and progress!  I may use some good old pen and paper options or perhaps some of the dozens of apps that I included in my ebook that will help me monitor, track and show my progress toward my ultimate goal!  This is also how I’ll keep track of my body measurements and see how my new habits are affecting my figure and natural design!   As I already mentioned in the DIVIDE it section, the celebration of this success is going to really keep my momentum toward success!

Here is an image of what all of this looks like as it’s filled out on the SURREND’hered goal form included in the Ebook!

Example 7-Steps

Again, click HERE to receive access to the 7-Steps to SURREND’hered Goal Development Ebook!! 

You will have access to this very sheet to use for yourself and dozens of other rescues, examples of goals for yourself and references that can not only help you tackle a goal like “emotional eating” but anything you can dream of!! 

I know that the idea of detaching from the emotional eating seems like it might be an impossible act!  But I know that if you take the time to PRAY + PLAN it and WORK FOR IT, you will be blessed with unimaginable success!  Just as Jesus said,

 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

(Matthew 19:26)

Categories
Food & Nutrition Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

What Do I Eat? Usually, my emotions….

When Craving Doesn't Come From Food

I am hands down an emotional eater. I use food as both a reward and coping mechanism. Joy and stress alike make me want to eat. When I was preparing for my wedding, everyone kept telling me how much weight I’ll lose at the end because “you’ll be so stressed.” Well, they were half right. I was indeed stressed! But I didn’t lose a ton of weight at the end. Why? Well, because stress makes me EAT. A friend of mine noticed this and recommended I tried something like og kush strain to help calm my nerves. I understood where she was coming from, as stressing out never helps anyone. But alas it’s too late and I just wanted to eat. Not the mention the whole celebration part of it too. Celebrating makes me want to EAT too! So, let’s just say that “sitting” in my wedding dress would have been a cool thing, but it didn’t really happen for me. But, hey, the pictures looked great, so I still consider that a win! 😉

Well, they say you are supposed to “Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat.” But I’m pretty sure 75% of my current meals are the “living to eat” variety. My emotions keep me tied to my food much tighter than I would like to admit, especially as a nutritionist and health coach. I also don’t have one client who is not the same as me too, so I would imagine you might have some similar feelings on food as well.

My emotional eating doesn’t necessarily impact my health negatively because I’m actually emotionally connected to really healthy foods too. I am lucky that I have learned this otherwise I’m quite sure I would be just like every overweight and obese person out there. But I still know that even when I’m eating healthy foods, I have a strong tendency to overeat on a regular basis. Due to my addiction to healthy food though, it’s not as much of a problem for me. However, for those who don’t eat healthily, emotional eating can cause obesity pretty quickly. This health condition can put individuals at risk, meaning that they need to do something about it promptly. The first thing to do would be to try and stop emotional eating. From there, it’s important to try and lose weight. This can be difficult and can lead to people giving up before they’ve even started as results won’t happen overnight. However, if you’re struggling to lose weight, you might be able to get bariatric surgery to help you. Perhaps it’s worth getting in touch with Dr. Naveen Ballem, or another specialist, to see if they can help you make an important change.

My strong cravings for food tied to my emotions allow me to know that there is something about my inability to stop eating at times that is just not well with my soul. It is a sign of a Spiritual battle more than just a food thing.

So, this led me to pick up a very good book by Lysa TerKeurst called “Made to Crave.“ In it, she reveals her own journey in junk food addiction and struggle with being overweight and how she was able to fill her life with God more and food less. A journey I can vividly relate to as this is my desire as well.

The Emotional addiction of food is the true concern and threat of this idol. We do know that we need food to survive, but we need not treat food as it is something to worship.

Her book taught and motivated me to do some spiritual and biblical research on food and how we are supposed handle our own cravings. This two part blog series will cover:

  • Part 1. What does the Bible say about food and our cravings?
  • Part 2. How can I take these passages and create a practical plan to overcome my eating?
  • thinking-food

Part 1:

While food is a blessing in our life, the full dedication of one of our 5 senses in taste, it can serve as an agent of destruction to our soul. The apostle Paul writes:

“For as I have often told you before and now say again with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is their shame.“ (Phil 3:18-19)

Our human nature can easily become consumed with food. Our days can be filled living only meal to meal. Obsessively planning our diets and fantasizing our indulgences. DietAlso, the gift of flavor from real, true food, has been manipulated and exploited by the food industry for capital gain (a byproduct of another damning idol of our humanity –> greed).

However, we cannot to just shift the blame of our food issues to the manufacturers… or worse to God himself for our emotional and physical addiction to food by saying “God made me this way.” For God did not make us to crave anything but God himself.

We must recognize the power and opportunity to strengthen our Faith and deny ourselves of our idols (i.e. food) to grow closer to God.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily to follow me.“ (Luke 9:23)

Nor should we “worry” about our diet and what we shall eat.

“Do not set your heart on what you will eat and drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after such things and your Father knows that you need them.“ (Luke 12:29-31)

So what are we to do? I know for me, this feels like a seismic and impossible shift in my psyche and what I think about all day long. Food is simply one of my favorite things to think and worry about.1a944a2f712afee99e126a02c9c2cda9

But, as is my own business model presents, I must take heed to my own words. If I want to change what I “think” about, I need to dig deeper to the depths of my Spirit. The best way to detach my mind and my focus away from food is not to make sweeping statements about what I will “not do.”

To over-consume my thoughts with phrases like “I will not be consumed by food or controlled by my cravings of (x, y, z)” all my subconscious mind hears is “food, food, food” causing us to think of nothing else but–> food.

To overcome any battle, we much instead engage our inner spirit to the task. Turning our hearts on what will feed us from within, not what will not.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.“ (Matthew 4:4)

“My food, said Jesus, is to do the will of Him who sent me to finish His work.” (John 4:34)

These passages give us our answer of spiritual focus for fulfillment:

  1. Focus on the word of God
  2. Focus on God’s will for our lives (i.e. our Greater Purpose).

Just as God made Jesus for a Greater Purpose (to live perfectly but die for our sins) he also made you for a Greater Purpose. (For more on what Greater Purpose is click on this past article HERE).

SURREND’hering our spirit UP distracts our feeble minds from our sinful nature and attachment to food. It is not the FOOD that is the sin, but how we treat it.

“For everything in the world- the cravings of a sinful man (…) comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:15-16)

Instead of obsessing over our food choices or overindulging in unhealthy foods, we can

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.“ (Psalm 34:4)

Feeding on the spirit does not mean we will give up food or fast for the rest of our lives! Don’t mistake my point of this calling. We must all still eat.

But SURREND’hering our emotional connection to food and exposing the idol that it can be for many of us will allow our minds to break free from the stronghold that food/drink addictions and obsessions with food can be.

This ranges from everything from compulsive eating, mindless eating and obsessively tracking and counting your food or any other act of food obsession. If your mind thinks about food more often than it thinks about God then we have work to do. (Both of my hands are raised up in the air for this one!!)

411a4ni2oVL._SY355_We must realize that God did not design us to be hangry.

God did not design us to uncontrollably eat and gorge ourselves on food or drink.

God did not design us to obsessively track every calorie or macronutrient.

God designed us to use the food he gave us a fuel.

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To trust and have faith that there will always be enough for us. We must find a way to be content in all situations. As the apostle Paul said,

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:12)

We can detach from food and find contentment by turning our spirit and our attention to the word of God more, to our relationships with Him, and to our Greater Purpose for which we were designed.

“Your words were found and I ate them and your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.” (Jeremiah 15:16)

LIVE in the Spirit of Joy for life. LIVE in the Spirit of true fulfillment by consuming God’s love more abundantly than food.

“So I say to you, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of your sinful nature.” (Galatians 5:16)

I hope my article and these scripture verses help to bring awareness and conviction for our depth of need in this area of food and the nature of our cravings. I hope it also points out that if you are a person that emotionally struggles with food, you are not alone!! It might surprise you that there are so many references to FOOD in the Bible, I know it surprised me! If it’s in the Bible, it means it’s been a real struggle for human for centuries! But more than that I hope this gives you some hope that with these passages are the answers to our problems. The Bible tells us where we can take our emotional struggle with Food and how we can use it to grow closer with God.

But, I know that often times after reading the Bible, I need an idea of how to take the scriptural context to my real life . I’m a person that needs some practical application to fixing this need in our souls and help find our paths to true health of Body, Mind and Soul.

Therefore….

Look for Part 2 tomorrow on some ideas of practical implementation and affecting real change in your life.

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Fitness & Training Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Competitive Mind Trap

Girls Compete

The other day I shared a video on my Facebook business page, A.Wright Fit, of an interview of one of my favorite actors, Will Smith, going into a pretty in depth explanation on his work ethic, motivation and ultimate success in his life and in the movie making industry. To see the video and to see what I posted, click HERE.

You can see by watching the video he is deeply inspired and seems to be rooted in a very strong competitive mindset about who he is and what he can do.

As I explained on my Facebook page, because I like Will Smith so much, I wanted so badly to be inspired by this great actor, but I realized in the last couple of weeks since first seeing this interview, that I was not inspired by it at all. In fact, I disagree with the source of his motivation and mindset toward success.

Specifically, when Will Smith says of himself and his success, “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me, is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked. You might be smarter than me. You might have more talent than me. You might be sexier than me [

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Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Looking in the Mirror Naked

Looking in the Mirror

My role as a health coach is incredibly rewarding.  I get to connect with a group of intelligent, brave, incredible women who are willing to open themselves up to me (often times someone they’ve never met) with their hopes, dreams and insecurities about their bodies and their health.

While I’ve had to get over my own insecurities about feeling “fit enough” or “healthy enough” to actually offer advice to anyone else, I know that this role is something I was designed for.  It is part of my Greater Purpose.  I’m not perfect at it, by any means, but I am learning so much about myself in the ways that I serve others.  God blesses me and I praise Him for that.

As was the case just yesterday with one of my clients.  I’m not going to name any names, of course, but this client is particularly beautiful on the inside and out.  I just love our weekly “Google Hangout” sessions and getting to see her face and just talk about her big dreams she is so capable of accomplishing for her body!  She is one client that is considering doing a bikini competition and I am so excited for her and to be able to coach her in a BALANCED way to this monster goal and not losing sight of having a strong mindset and strong spirit along the way.  Essentially, I am hoping to accomplish with her what I myself could not do.  There is something really beautiful about this opportunity for us both!

 

Over the weekend, I got an email from her with some recent snap shots of her body for what are called “Progress Pictures”.  I think progress pictures are incredibly valuable to the health journey not because it’s easy or even enjoyable to stare at yourself in the mirror and even (gasp!) share these images with another person, but because there is power in being able to look back and see how far you’ve come.  Somehow it’s a step in Faith, saying “I know this is how I look now, but I also know this is not how I’m going to look in the future.  So I’m brave enough to take the pictures now so I can one day see how far I’ve come.”  Again, it’s a challenge, but can be a really rewarding practice.

In fact, I think that is also the benefit of doing “Mind” and “Spiritual” versions of “progress pics” by doing things like journaling and written prayer journals, just so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I highly recommend adding these practices for anyone looking to make some health changes!

 

But, back to the story, my client took the pictures and sent them to me and the email inevitably had some remarks about her “flawed” body parts and imperfections.  I related heavily to how she was feeling.  I think every woman on the planet can relate to this.  It is so challenging to stare at ourselves in the mirror without starting into a tirade against our body “flaws.”    Why is it so hard for every woman?!  Fat, skinny, short, tall, fit, thin –we all have things we don’t love about ourselves!

To me, the answer is the same answer it has been for me since that 2nd grade story I shared not long ago. My mind, and the lens through which I see my body, is the flawed part–not my body itself.  There are LIES that wreck havoc over my eyeballs and that tell me all the reasons why “I’m not good enough.”

 

So, I sent my client an email back but I felt as though I was really writing this email to myself.  Since I knew it was something that I needed to remind myself of and certainly knew this was something my client needed to remind herself of, then I can only assume that this might be something that YOU need to remind yourself of too.

 

So, here’s what I wrote:

Yes, I saw your pictures!

So, here’s what I see.  I see YOU and your beautiful body!  I also see that you are getting “nervous” because you are now seeing your body as the “flaws” that they are and what all will need to change by the time you hit the stage.

This is exactly what I did and exactly what I see so many women in this world do.
We think that in order to “motivate” ourselves, we need o focus on our flaws and fix them.  This is the equivalent of “hating your body to change it.”
It can work.  But the way it works is all negative and will suck the life right out of you.  It will make the next year of your life miserable and hard.
So, you’re not going to learn to love your body once it changes.  You have to learn to love your body now.  Just as it is.    Only from LOVING your body will you be able to set out and change it for the good of your soul.  To make a change in your body and your health, you will have to seek ways to become a better you and to do so from a place of LOVE not HATE.  Otherwise, it will suck the love right out of you.
So HOW do you do that? How do you love your body now?!   
Honestly, it’s a day by day and moment by moment, CHOICE that you’ll have to make.   It is a change that you’ll need to find deep in your soul to the the point that it can actually change your mindset too.
How do you love yourself?
First, by recognizing you are LOVED by God.  God IS love.
god-is-love
Think of the things that you love in this life.  You have love that should feel almost effortless right?   That feeling—God created that.  That feeling IS God.  When you feel that love it means you are feeling God within you.  What’s different about the love you feel for others and the love God has for you is that God’s love for you in unconditional.  You have it no matter what.  You can not earn it, you can not give it away.  What you need in your life is to simply embrace this love.
Right now, there are some walls blocking you from feeling this LOVE when you look at yourself.  These walls cause a darkness over your heart.  The walls might be from past pains you’ve experienced, or by comparing yourself now to the girls you saw at the show, or simply from LIES in your head that you’ve believed your whole life.  These LIES are from the devil and he is so smart and tricky and has made you believe these things are “normal” in your head.  They are not.
They are lies.  Fear is a liar.  Always remember that.
So, to turn away from these LIES and TOWARD LOVE you have to go out and seek it.  You have to practice love and make it a habit.  You will find that your spirit and mind will grow into this the more you practice it.  But it will be an everyday challenge that you have to choose to engage in.

Forming Habits of Self Love:

  1.  Pray to God and ask that His love fill you up and pour over and make you see the love for yourself too.  Building a relationship with God cultivates love with Him and then love for yourself.
  2. Replace all negative self talk with positive.  Every time you catch yourself wanting to be negative about your body, choose to repeat a positive love affirmation.  “I choose to love my body today”  or “Love conquers all”.  Something sweet and meaningful to you.
  3. Read Spiritual passages about love in scripture.  Search to understand what love is more and what Love God has for you.
  • Here’s some of my favorites:
  • Ephesians 3:17-19
  • Romans 8:28-30
  • 1 Corinthians 13:13
  • 1 John 4:8
  • Matthew 6:25
Take a moment to look these up and write down what they mean for you.  Meditate on them and seek ways for you to believe they are true.
      4.   Read other books, poetry, and podcasts etc that will help you remember to love yourself or just be inspired.
I love the new Oprah book “What I Know For Sure” where she does these short articles from her O magazine.  You could read one a day and really feel the benefit.
Here’s an excerpt that made me think of you just now.  She was talking about her constant struggle with dieting and her body (we can all relate).  What I Know For Sure
“I sat up one crisp, sunny morning and made a vow to love my heart.  To treat it with respect.  To feed it and nurture it.  To work it out and then let it rest.  And then one night when I was getting out of the tub, I glanced in the full-length mirror.  For the first time, I didn’t launch into my self criticism.  I actually felt a warming sense of gratitude for what I saw.  My hair braided, not a stitch of makeup on, face clean.  Eyes bright, alive.  Shoulders and neck strong and firm.  I was thankful for the body I lived in.
I did a head-to-toe assessment, and though there was plenty of room for improvement, I no longer hated part of myself, even the cellulite.  I thought, ‘This is the body you’ve been given–love what you’ve got’.”
          
Other books:
Jesus Calling, Laura Young
Awaken the Gian Within, Tony Robbins
How you can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay
The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Choose to start this today!  We are going to work through this SELF LOVE just as we are working through this BODY CHANGE.  By doing this, your experience will be a drastically different one than most will experience.  It will be a world different from MY own show too.
I am so excited to be a part of this!!  But again, this is a PROCESS!  It will take bit by bit to make any change –body, mind and soul.  All you have to do is be present to this very moment, and commit to the next step that GOD lays out ahead of you.
Love you!
M”
For anyone else that read this and can relate, I’d love to hear ways that you cultivate your own self love? Please comment below!  I know we all need reminders of things we can do to keep these LIES in our head at bay and start seeing ourselves the way God does!
I know for sure, that the process of sharing and engaging in God more because of these insecurities is the exact reason why we struggle with them to begin with! So in spite of it always seeming like a never-ending battle, it really is a blessing in disguise because of how much it will bring us closer to God.
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Goal Development Spiritual Health Uncategorized

BREAKING-UP IS POWERFUL TO DO, PART DEUX

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do II

 

As life would have it, I am finding more and more of my true calling in this effort of writing, blogging and health coaching.   It came to me a while ago, but I have realized that my Greater Purpose of this calling of writing these articles are not just for you (although I earnestly hope that you do get some sort of lesson or inspiration out of them) but really a lot of this calling is about ME and gaining some necessary wisdom in my life.

So, as it naturally happens, as I start to put pen-to-paper, or more aptly, fingers-to-keyboard, I start to expose more and more things that I need to focus on and work on.

As was the case when I started to write the blog last week that was just posted yesterday. I have always been so aware of the power that my husband’s and my history holds. I love our love story. I have fully embraced the convoluted, roller-coaster-ride rollercoaster of loveof our history as part of what makes our relationship so powerful today!

I can fully embrace the imperfect ways that we tried and tried to get it (W)right to no avail only to finally, FINALLY, realize what was the missing issue the entire time ——-> BIG MAN himself, G.O.D.

I spoke yesterday that I clearly placed Howard and my relationship ahead of God when I would obsess and worry and try harder and harder.

And as I was journaling these thoughts in our story for yesterday, it all of a sudden hit me like a dagger right between my eyes.

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, everyday.”

“Obsessed with trying to be enough.”

“Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter.”

These are the EXACT phrases that I could easily put into place regarding my relationship with my body and food as well.

It’s not so shocking, of course, because I’ve already admitted to this behavior, especially when it was at it’s peak as I was training to do a bikini competition.

But I can admit now that these SAME feelings and obsession with my body were still very present  when I was planning for my wedding. It was another BIG DAY and I had a lot self pressure to look the best I’ve ever looked, naturally.

I am proud of myself that I did NOT resort to extreme tactics this go round and still treated my body in a much more health-centered way.

 But the truth is that mentally, I was just as consumed (if not more so) with worry and fret as I have been before. I hired not 1 but 2 health coaches myself, hired a personal trainer, logged my food every day, paid for extensive body fat measurements and the whole bit.

wedding-day-weight

 Again,

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, every day.”

 “Obsessed with trying to be enough”

 “Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter”

The results were just about the same as those 6-years of dating Howard. I could try as hard as I wanted but it wasn’t going to change much.   I lost maybe 5 lbs and a few body fat % in the entire year that I was working toward my wedding body. For a WHOLE YEAR, with literally thousands of hours logged with worry, obsession and fret,  and all I lost was a measly 5lbs.

(Can someone make a t-shirt with that on it perhaps?   “I spent 1,000 of mental hours and 1,000 of dollars for this body and all I lost were these 5lbs?”)

Don’t get me wrong, I am quite pleased with how I looked on my wedding day, but I was a little exhausted that day too from all that build up and WORRY, which I have to admit was 80% about my BODY more than about the wedding itself!   Also, don’t EVEN get me started on the fact that it took a full 10-minutes and 4 women to zip up my gosh darn dress?!  How’s that for a confession?! UGHHHHHH.  Literally, I. Can’t. Even.  I can't even

 

But, I digress….

So, it’s been almost 6-months since my wedding day, and I have been trying to pinpoint this emotion that I’ve been feeling ever since.

For the first time, in a long time, I am not obsessing over my body, I am not logging my meals, I am not tracking every workout and measuring the # of calories I’m burning or consuming.

But all of this new behavior has me feeling a mix of emotions. I feel relief that I don’t have to obsess so much any more, and yet, I’m kind of sad and lost unsure of this new phase with my body and relationship food and workouts.

 AND SO IT’S HIT ME……

 I’m in the middle of a break-up!

It’s not the same as what it was when Howard and I broke-up because I can’t physically break-up with my body.

But I realize now that I’ve broken-up with the relationship I had with my body!

Subconsciously and now more consciously I have exposed that I STILL have a tendency to put many things (i.e. idols) ahead of my relationship with God . These tendencies seem to manifest themselves in my mind the exact same way.

 I obsess, I worry, I try harder and yet it doesn’t produce the results I want.

But, for the first time ever, I am not treating my body the same way as I always have. I have some other things that are taking precedence (namely, my time with God, my husband and this business) over my workouts, body obsession and food.

This has meant that my workouts are much shorter (usually about 30 minutes, 3-4 days per week). I also don’t track my eating like I used to (simply because I don’t have time). I am not weighing myself very often at all. I am not even looking in the mirror as much anymore!  It’s kinda just “weird” for me.  It’s a me I don’t quite recognize and don’t know quite what to do with myself….as odd as that sounds!

This relationship I had with my body was around for much much longer than the relationship I had with Howard, so I’m expecting this break-up to take some time.   And just like it was when he and I broke-up,  I don’t know if I’m meant to get back together with that old me, or if I’m going to find a whole new relationship with my body that is a much better fit!

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Either way, I know I’m at this in between phase of this break-up right now and I need to STAY IN THIS PHASE until I have clear direction.

THE POWER IN THIS BREAK-UP:

Now that I am conscious that I am in the middle of this “break-up” with the relationship with my body, I can offer you some insight into what this means for me. What I DON’T have is the actual lessons I’m going to learn. The reason is because I’m not over it yet and I’m feel as though I’m still healing.

But if you’re in this place with me, perhaps realizing that you too have a “bad relationship” with your body, food, or working out, then there ARE some things that I can offer.  Things that I KNOW within my soul that are helping through this break-up phase.

1. Doubt Gives Way to Faith:

The power of our idols is incredibly strong. Everyday that I think I have a God-centered, “healthy” relationship with my body, I will all of a sudden find myself in the pantry binge eating some fruit clusters and other treats and then immediately feeling the affects of guilt and mental punishment the rest of the day.  Sugar Addiction (or any food/drink/substance addiction) can be a very real idol that we serve before we serve God.

But what I know is that just when I doubt I will ever be strong enough to beat my sugar addiction, in comes these waves of Faith that I know that God is stronger than anything and everything in this world.   God over EverythingI can put my trust and hope in God and He will help me beat this body idol and reengage in a new relationship with my body.  I can remember all the other hard things I’ve had to give up (anyone read my WINE-O series?!) and how much God has truly pulled me through once I SURREND’hered it to Him.

2. Fulfillment comes from God alone:

Just like I had learned the hard way from my break-ups with Howard, I am seeing this pop-up again in my break-up with my old relationship with my body. I was trying to find fulfillment from my body and my health instead of truly finding fulfillment from God. I know that this break-up will serve as the necessary time for me to reengage with God as my sole provider. To SURREND’her more and more to Him. To truly make Him the center of ALL of my life, not just part-of my life.

3.These Feelings of “Falling Apart” are what is going to lead to the Spiritual Break-Through I need:

[Full Disclosure] I am very, very uncomfortable in this ‘break-up phase’ with my body. A large part of me feels like I’m really GIVING-UP on my body.  410461022227339120_1382633488I have fear that it’s going to all go down hill. I have so much guilt about not working out as much or dieting as hard core as I used to and fear that all this is going to lead me to be a big fat hypocrite on this forum of “speaking about health” all while looking chubby. I am still struggling daily with the feelings of how I should be “trying harder.”

But, what I’m doing about these fears is not “trying harder,” I’m just praying harder. I’m journaling a ton and praying all day long about this body and this life and asking God to use me in these new ways. To heal my mind and body and soul. I know this is exactly the right course.

I am encouraged by the signs that God is giving me for motivation to keep “praying through”. One such sign is from the book I keep talking about, The Circle Maker. The author Mark Batterson gave me a very strong reminder when he said, “If you want to experience a super natural break-through, you have to pray through. But as you get closer to the break-through it often feels like you’re about to lose control, about to fall apart. That is when you need to press in and pray through.”

Pressing-on and praying through is what I intend to do!

4. I’m Grateful for my Imperfections:

I can find joy and gratitude in every difficult thing that I encounter in life. My very struggles in life are the things that keep me leaning on God and keep me looking to Him more and more. My imperfections are the gateway to the true blessings that I’ll receive from this relationship I’m building with God. I know I will never be perfect and this battle with my body and with food will be a lifelong battle. But I can be grateful for that because it means that I will always stay close to God. I can “sacrifice of a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord” (Psalm 116:17)

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5. I can Praise Him NOW for what will be:

I can also know that because I’m giving Him this problem He has already answered my prayer. He has already delivered me from this idol of my body and food and He has offered me a new relationship with my body that better serves my Greater Purpose. I can Praise Him for answering this prayer and just wait for this answer to be revealed to me. I know there will come a time and I’ll “just know” what direction to take and I’ll keep taking steps that He leads me.   Thank you God for this.

So, while I do wish I had more answers for YOU I hope you don’t mind me opening up more about my struggles and how I’m really not much of an “expert” yet on how to enter into a healthy relationship with your body.

What I do encourage you to do is to self-assess your current relationship you have with your body too!

Q: How do you see your body?

Q: Do you put part of your quest for health or your body before God?

Q: What are the mental cues that recognize as your blocks (i.e. do you obsess, worry, avoid, abuse, or hate your body?).

Q: Can you find ways to use God in those areas and “pray-through” this barrier it plays in your heart and soul.   Think of the best ways that you can give this to God (prayer, friends, journaling etc)

Also, I do I highly suggest reading The Circle Maker the_circle_maker_zv_largeand journaling a lot more to expose some of your own idols in your life! It might not just be your body or health, it is likely quite a few things! Give them ALL UP! Keep SURREND’hering .

 

In Love and Healing,

 

Amanda

 

 

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Uncategorized

Breaking-Up is Powerful To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The other day I gave a little snippet of how my husband and I met. It was some good ol’ self-deprecating humor about how my husband was actually attracted to the very assets (no pun intended) that I had perceived as my worst flaws (i.e. my big ol’ booty).

I told the story about how we first met and gave the rather evasive ellipses and the cliche of “the rest is history!”

Well, ha! That history was anything but just 3 small dots . . .

Actually if each of those dots represented the number of times we would break-up, then yes, that is quite accurate! But it would be a tumultuous 6-years of dating on-and-off before we would be engaged and then married on lucky year #7. In fact, we married on the exact date that we met at the restaurant I told you about in my last blog.

It was anything but “first comes love, then comes marriage” il_340x270.468855362_s7edin your typical RomCom (Romantic Comedies). You could liken it much more to the yo-yo dating a la Carrie and “Mr. Big” of Sex and the City.

Each break-up was excruciatingly painful for me. Howard had been trapped in his own mental battle of “lies” that had convinced him that he wasn’t capable of successfully being married. A product of both his childhood history, his own divorce, and the dozens of divorces he witnessed of many of his closest friends. Some of them even found that their spouse was having an affair using reverse phone lookup.

That being said, even if things did not work out in the end, a divorce is nowhere near as traumatic or as stigmatized as it used to be. For instance, I know plenty of couples that have managed to split amicably. Most arguments during divorce proceedings tend to focus on the division of assets. However, most of my friends that have been divorced have always used a prenuptial agreement to ensure that their assets were divided fairly. One thing I will say though is that if you are considering getting a prenuptial agreement before marriage, it is vital that you contact a team of prenup lawyers first to make sure that your prenup is accurate and valid.

As for my now-husband though, he had a very fear-based way of living and looking at relationships. His viewpoint, sadly, is actually very common in America. It’s not just America who feels this way, there are many people around the world who feel this way about marriage, for example in the United Kingdom, where the divorce rate is around 40%, there are some couples who look to law firms that are in the Specialist Divorce business in order to end their marriages. There are others who believe that marriage isn’t needed to maintain a happy relationship with their partner.

But, being the hopeless optimist that I have always been, I saw so much more in him and knew what we had was special.

Even so, I was caught in my own “fear-based” mindset, constantly worrying about our relationship too. Thinking about him non-stop and wondering where it was all “going” and if he “really loved me” or not.
I always worried that I was never enough for him and never enough to save our relationship.

PicsArt_1382371149552

Call these fears of intuition or more likely a self-fulfilling prophecy, but after about 6-months of things going seemingly fine for us, I would start to panic and squeeze tighter just as Howard would start to panic and pull-away. Causing us to break-up.

These break-ups felt like my heart was shattering.

But what was so surprising, was that I quickly came to realize that I was not indeed shattered or broken. I think myself lucky that unlike some people I didn’t jump straight into marriage and have to use Colorado Springs Process Server to issue my partner with divorce papers each time.

In a beautiful irony is that in those moments of feeling so heart-broken, my heart was actually being healed and remolded into a better way.

It was during these periods of heart break that I (slightly at first) began to lean on God as well as learn more about myself!

God tremendously blessed these times for me.

I found some of my best friends and grew much closer with my family;
I found my body’s strength and my passion for fitness;
I found some necessary wisdom from seeking a therapist for over 3-years to figure out my own fear-based and insecure mind;
I found out a lot about myself through the various jobs and “life searching” I was doing.

What was happening in these breaks of our relationship are what I now call “LIFE!”

I learned things that I would not have necessarily learned had I still been so mentally consumed by my relationship with Howard.

It was easy for me say that Howard’s commitment phobia was the issue, but I began to realize that was not true.

I was just as responsible for the relationship not working out (yet). I had my own fear-based issues that clearly needed some Divine Molding to turn me into “wife” worthy.

As I was learning this, I must admit it was very easy to get ahead of myself too. To think that just a few months of “soul searching” would fix both him and I. So each time we would get back together, I would think, “Ok God, we did all the work we needed to do! This time this is it!”

But nope…..we would fall back into our old fear-based habits. Howard would pull-away. I would worry and obsess. We’d break-up. Yo-Yo dating.

Finally, after our 3rd break-up, feeling shame from the “fool me twice” adage, I reached my breaking point. I was done. It was at this moment of feeling “done” that I found my word SURRENDER and I was finally learning to live it too.

I started to attend a new church in my home town of Greeley, Coloraod – Christ Community Church, and began to experience some remarkable spiritual revelations and God Winkmiracles. The Pastor of the Church, Alan Kraft would somehow preach sermons that were exactly what I needed to hear at that day. This is something I’ve heard called a “God Wink”, where you feel as though God has just blessed you with a little coincidence or miracle with a “wink” ;-).

It was at this time , that I was finally entering into a personal, deep relationship with God. Where I learned to SURREND’her my heart for GOD to fill, instead of waiting for some man to come and do it. I finally let down enough guards around my heart making God truly able to heal me.

I would find that God was doing the same for Howard.

A series of big events for Howard along with years of counseling, allowed him to finally realized I was “the one.” God enabled him to break himself free from the lies he’d convinced himself of for so long and gave him the courage to fly out to Denver and beg me to be his wife.

When he found me again, he found a new me. I was not the same “fear-based” woman I had been. God had truly changed all that. While I certainly needed several weeks to pray and contemplate whether I could really forgive Howard and accept some new developments in our life as well as commit to the biggest decision of my life and become his wife, having the fulfillment of God’s love in my heart made all of those decisions possible.

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.”

-2 Corinthians 1:20

The time apart had allowed a beautiful release of the expectation that he or any man had previously been expected to fill. Because I was filled to the brim with God’s love I was able to release Howard from the role of having to fill those empty holes and neediness I had before.

As much as my heart bursts from the amount of love I receive from my husband now, it does not compare to the love and fulfillment I feel from God’s love.

Which makes sense, because God IS love. Cup Runneth OverAny love that I give and receive from Howard just makes my “cup runneth over.”

You might be wondering, ok Mandi, that is a pretty great love story and all, but what does this have to do with HEALTH?

Well, a lot actually!

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow as I expand further on the Power of the Break-Up in LOTS or areas of our life!!

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Fitness & Training Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

Life is Bootyful

So, if you’ve never met me, you might not realize all that I have going on….

Meaning, I have a pretty big butt.

Woman Booty

As a matter of fact, my booty is a flotation device! Yep, when I swim it somehow stays above water the whole time. Don’t ask me how. It’s rather embarrassing, and one strong reason why I am NOT a fan of swimming. I received quite a few chuckles about it when I was young, and can see how cute it must have been back then.

Now it’s just a little alarming. So unless you’re my 2-year old stepdaughter, don’t expect me to hop in the pool much with you.

Yes, the Lord blessed me and my Momma (and my Momma’s Momma) this-girl-got-it-from-her-mamawith this “S-Curve” action. (Despite what my husband thinks) I am white and grew up in a pretty white town, so this was not something I loved about myself growing up.

As a matter of fact, when I shared the story of my childhood and how I started to develop deep insecurities about my body aaaallllllll the way back in 2nd grade, it was because I had this big ol’ booty and I got teased about it all the time.

While growing up, I would honestly pray that God would help me lose weight in my booty. Well I think he misheard me, because whenever I lost weight, it was right from my boobies….not my booty. The opposite of my request!!

We all have prayer requests. The bible tells us that no prayer request is too big or too small.

So my prayer to lose weight in my booty isn’t technically too small of a prayer for God, but it was just pretty “small minded” of me! There were certainly things I was in need of in a spiritual sense, more in need of than a smaller butt!

Nevertheless, even though it was always my workout goal to “get a smaller butt“, this goal and this prayer went unanswered. I had to learn to live with the big “bootyful” life I had.

youre-bootyful-85186532Luckily I did.

Fast forward to me, 25-years old, working as a waitress in La Jolla, CA, at a nice steak house called Donovans.

In walks this tall drink of mochacino man that literally gave me heart palpitations.

I walked by him……he looked at me…..I smiled at him….he gawked at me. I was unnerved and was thanking my stars I wasn’t his waitress! I would walk by his table on the way to the kitchen and try not to look his way. I was hanging out at the bar, and in order to completely avoid looking in his direction, I completely turned my back and was pretending to watch whatever sporting event was on the TV above me.

This move gave him the robust view of…..you guessed it….my large derrière!

This is what we call a HOOK, LINE, and SINKER for my man. original_hook-line-and-sinker-valentines-card

Within just a few moments, his waiter was handing over his business card to me telling me, “the talk guy at my table is into you“. On the back of his card was “Dinner Sometime?“(what a line, Wright!)

And as the saying goes……….the rest is history!

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Left: October 2007 when we first met…Right: October 2015 on our wedding day

As my husband describes it, his first attraction was to my face. But what got him to literally “play his cards” right was my big ol’ booty.

So, all those years, God didn’t answer my prayer to help me lose weight in my butt. He knew that this big booty would literally help me get the man of my dreams!

This perspective has helped me love and understand my body goals so much more!

Along with my butt, I have always struggled with the necessary “thunder thighs” that help support my booty.

strongwomanBut now I see my big, stroooonng legs as maybe purposeful. God willing, I’ll never have to lift a car off of a child, or carry my 6’8″ husband out of a burning building. But, I’m (probably) strong enough to do those things. I think that’s kinda cool.

I see the naturally, slightly higher body fat and estrogen hormonal structure unique to my body (pear-shaped as they call it) being purposeful in creating a human life. That might be cool one day, if that is what God has in store for me 😉

Body-shapes

And clearly if I’m ever in a boating accident, or airplane crash over water, I could just be used as a, “flotation device” with my buoyant-behind, meaning I could survive to speak to legal help after a crash. (Again God, if you can please make that NEVER have to happen, Amen).

As good as this would be in an event of an accident, such as one in an airplane, I don’t think my “floatation device” would be able to help me cover the costs of any loss of earnings or medical bills, as I’m sure that I would definitely need to have some emergency treatment. That’s when a law firm similar to lamber goodnow would have to be contacted so they could help me in the steps that I would need to complete next. But I’m hoping that it will never come to this.

I see my curves as pretty great not just because my husband loves them, but because they are unique to me and they are what God designed! He is a master crafter! Everything can have a Purpose!

So yes, I still have body goals. Yes, I still pray for God to guide me with my body goals. Yes, I make sure I am staying fit and healthy instead of using this perspective of “loving my body” as an excuse to be lazy or not strengthen it.

But I’m no longer praying for God to magically change my “flawed features”, because I see that there is truly Purpose in each and every ounce of my body.

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I concentrate on being STRONG’her in body, WISE’her in how I think about my body, and certainly continue to SURREND’her curves up to God so they might be used for you Greater Purpose.

I invite you to do the same in taking part in my 7-Step SURREND’her Goal Development Workshop! It will help you define the (W)right fit of goals for your life. Balance your health goals to empower yourself towards true health and provide you with 7-steps to make your goals a life long commitment!

The emails will be sent to you between April 13-April 20.

There is no extra gimmick. Nothing to sell. Just me, striving to help you reach your goals!! There are limited spaces…. so act fast!

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Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

{Public Service Announcement} YOU are WORTHY

I have to admit, every time I contemplate opening up and writing about certain spiritual moments in my personal life, I get very nervous and unsure if I should.  But today, I feel as though this is too powerful and too necessary of a message that I can’t let any fear hold me back.

So here it goes……

As directed, I was standing in the quiet solitude, opening the posture of my heart and wondering if this was really going to work.  Pastor Alan Kraft was praying over us in the congregation and was speaking to the areas that we might be “thirsting for MORE of the Holy Spirit”. 
Thirsting SoulHe asked if some of us might be contemplating “an area of risk or feeling God might be asking us to step out of our comfort zone in some way.”

He instructed those of us that were feeling this area of “thirst in our souls”, to ask God, in the quiet of our heart, to give us a word or a phrase that He wanted us to know. 

In moment, the word that filled my heart was….

“Worthy”

Pastor Alan is the lead Pastor of Christ Community Church in my home town in Greeley,CO.  I just so happened to be back in town and of course always love to attend the church where this Pastor  played such a significant role in reawakening my soul and therefore my life as I now know it.  There is no amount of money or tithe that I could possibly repay this church, and that humble man, for the impact he has had on my life during some of my darkest days (I’m talking about every break-up I ever faced!).  It was a divine gift that led me to that church when I did.  I am so grateful for this blessed impact.   

This day would be another example of God’s wondrous miracles and His abundant grace pouring down on me in this Church.

This word “Worthy” brought me to tears immediately.    

It was as though with just the small prick of one simple word, the entire ho- air-balloon 
Hot Air Balloon-sized amount of guilt, fear and true UNworthiness I had been feeling for SO long was completely deflated.

This would not be the first time a single word would have such a huge impact on my life.  About 4-years ago now, I was living with my parents just after moving back to Colorado from California and was really unsure what I was “supposed to be doing.”

I was watching an Oprah Winfrey, Master Class, about the star herself (see video link).  She was speaking about the time she was jogging, literally at a fat farm, and so upset about not getting the role she thought God had called her to get  for the movie, The Color Purple.  She was tormented by this and in her grief, finally started to spontaneously sing the hymn “I Surrender All”, reminding herself that she needed to just Surrender this expectation and her life to God.  She describes it as just words at first, but the more she repeated that chorus and the more she started to pray on it, the more she was truly able to SURRENDER herself and be ok with not getting that part. 

Oprah Surrender

The second she got to that place in her Spirit, someone came running out to let her know she had a call from Steven Spielberg himself, offering her the role she had dreamed of.  It all happened the moment she truly “Surrendered”.

But the word, as she said it, seemed to leap off her mouth on the TV and smack me upside the head. 

“Surrender”

It was, as she would certainly describe it, an “aha moment” of magnitude 10. 

As you might have guessed by my repeated use here and now trademarked version of my, SURREND’her, this word became my mantra for living ever since that day. Just as Oprah describes it was just merely a word to me at first, but the more I prayed it out or I wrote it down and repeated it to myself, the more I was able to truly Surrender my spirit more and more.  istock-purchased-surrenderIt was so freeing to think that I could loosen the tight grip of all this life choices I thought I was going to have to create for myself.  That I did not need to control my own destiny, that I could surrender it all to God and trust that He would take care of it. 

Just as he has with Oprah, God has blessed me with the life of my dreams, and I know I’m only getting started!   It led me to several life changing experiences and challenges!  I have been able to accept and embrace things in my life that I never would have dreamed like step-parenting, forgiving, moving, and world traveling!   But here I am , Surrendering to it still now, and loving EVERY. SURREND’hered. Moment.

So now, this new word…….WORTHY.

I realized I had been feeling so UNworthy in so many ways. 

UNworthy of God’s presence in my life and for his debt that He paid for my sin.

UNworthy or guilty of the blessing of being back with my fiancé, now husband, Howard and all that we were planning to do and a wealth of opportunity I never had imagined for my life. 

I also felt very UNworthy of the calling I had been starting to feel in my soul and all of THIS….

THIS dream, of this very website and the possibility of writing or speaking publicly about my health and my faith is is huge step out of my comfort zone.  But I am strengthened only by God’s presence in me.

 I had an intense amount of fear that was causing me to procrastinate and divert my attention to other menial tasks, instead of starting this project and site.  Even now, there is intense amount of fear that surfaces again and again with each post because it is an extremely vulnerable thing to talk about not just my life, but my Faith.   I have always felt very private about my faith mainly because I never, ever want to offend anyone and don’t want to make anyone think that I am trying to force a religion down their throats.

But in this moment, God called me WORTHY and it is now imprinted on my heart.  I wear this worthiness like a badge of honor to play this “worthy” role, even if my fears want to try to talk me out of owning it.

Just like I did with ‘Surrender”, I put this word every where! It’s on my Vision Board, on a custom sign I’m having made for my desk and I write it down as often as I can, especially when I’m journaling or feeling especially emotional and fearful. 

WORTHY
My Office Shelf with my Vision Board titled WORTHY

This word ‘Worthy’ truly became the daily reminder that God is telling me I’m worthy of this all and I’m worthy of His love and blessings He wants to bestow to me if I am obedient to His calling.    I should not hold myself back from all of my hearts desires because of the LIE of ‘unworthiness’ I had been feeling for so long.

THIS WEEK…..

I am reminded of this word this week as I have talked to more than one close girlfriend who are also fellow Christians, but are struggling in different areas of their life, like we all are.

Both of them confided to me that they had been feeling “UNworthy” of all of their blessings in their life too.   They used that exact word…”UNworthy”….

I realized when speaking to these friends that they too were caught in the fear and the lie of this feeling of unworthiness and it is stalling them in taking the next step they need to take on their path for their Greater Purpose. 

And now it’s hit me. 

Really, this word was never just MY word to now use.    

No, this word that God gave me on that September day was always intended as a gift for you.  You, whoever you are, reading this right now. 

It is a miracle that you happen to be reading this very blog this day because God has something very special He wanted me to remind you.

worthyYou are worthy of it all.

You are worthy of your blessings.  You are worthy of His Grace.  You are worthy of His forgiveness.  You are worthy of YOUR calling to YOUR Greater Purpose. You are worthy of the
price Jesus paid when He died for your sins.  You are worthy of your dreams.

You are worthy of your health. 

You are worthy of His love.

He wants you to wear this word of “Worthy” like a tattoo on your heart because you will never be rid of your worthiness.  

If you feel that you have been holding yourself back from your dreams (whether they are dreams about your health, or dreams about your calling, or anything!) because you have been feeling deep down inside that you are somehow UNworthy of the true blessing God has planned for you, then TODAY is your day to step out from behind those dark shadows and lies of UNworthiness.

FEAR IS A LIAR

FEAR is a LIAR.  Your feeling of UNWORTHINESS is a LIE straight from Satan himself that has plagued your spirit and has caused you to hold back from fully committing your life to your Greater Purpose.  It is holding you back from SURREND’hering it ALL to God, not just some of your life. 

God has created you for a Greater Purpose and you are WORTHY and capable of every step ahead of you!!

If you are feeling unsure about the next steps in your life and unsure if you are living out a life of your WORTHY calling, then I would be honored to help you decide what your WORTHY goals should be! 

I am hosting a 7-part/day series called 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development where I am going to take a limited number of participants through the program I developed that I use personally every day and I use with each of my Health Coaching Clients.

You will be creating and designing goals for your life to help you fulfill your Greater Purpose!  To put action to this call of urlWORTHINESS and to start the action steps to accomplish ALL God has called you to do. 

You will get the chance to learn how to achieve goals in ALL areas of your True Health (or life!) including Body Goals, Mindset Goals and Spiritual Goals to become….

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It will be an incredibly rewarding time of self-discovery, visualization and action steps to achieve all God is calling you to achieve!!

The series will start on Monday, April 13 and will be emailed to you for just 7-Days.

For YOU, I will offer this service for FREE because I think you are Worthy of achieving any goal or dream in your heart. 

To take part of this 7-Steps to SURREND’hered GOAL Development click HERE and share with as many people as you think are WORTHY as well.  

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Even Pastors Mess This One Up | From SURREND’her to STRONG’her
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(Be sure you read to then end of the blog to sign up for a limited opportunity!)

Your Greater Purpose and Your Health—

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My husband, Howard, tells a story about a fiery pastor who was responsible, along with his grandmother “Gammy”, for my husband first giving his life to Christ at the age of 12.

He was the Pastor of a predominantly African American church in Los Angeles, CA and out of respect, I’ll omit using his name here. Howard describes the man as one of the most powerful orators he has ever met. He laughs saying, “Pastor would suck in a big breath from his big belly and then all of a sudden fire out the longest sentence of the gospel you had ever heard.” The man was, by all who can attest, a brilliant Pastor and surely living out a Greater Purpose from God by bringing so many to know God more.

Unfortunately, this pastor died at a young age, in his late 50’s due to a string of ailments some of which were due to his weight, including diabetes. It is a sad ending to a great man’s life.

Upon hearing this story, I couldn’t help but wonder how many more people could have been led to God had his life not have ended at such a young age. While admittedly, I do not know the specific circumstances of this mans health, I do know that his story can fit the context of the hundreds and thousands of deaths we see plague this world. Far too many people are dying from preventable or manageable health issues in this world! With all due respect to the legacy of this man’s life, to me, this story is another example of one great man’s Greater Purpose being cut short by his inability to take care of his body’s health.

As you may know by my writing, that my views on health have been enhanced in recent years and I am on this forum trying to promote a less “body obsessed” version of health and replace it with a more balanced, deeply rooted, approach to “True Health.”

To me, in order to build a STRONG’her body, you have to be able to change the way you think about your body and your health and become WISE’her. But to gain true wisdom, you have to dive deeper in your Spirit to the depths of your character, core values and relationship with God to SURREND’her your life to your Greater Purpose.

 

However, this path is not linear with all roads leading to that SURREND’her goal, it’s circular! While I make no quips about the fact that I absolutely believe that SURREND’hering ourselves is the only way we can ever TRULY LIVE, this is not where the road ends.

Linear Path Nope

Once you have SURREND’hered your life to God and to the path of your Greater Purpose, it has to circle back to you building up a STRONG’her body.

 

Circular Image BODY MIND SOUL

My beliefs on this are based on the simple question:

 How can one truly LIVE out your Greater Purpose without being diligent to keeping your body healthy along the way?

The answer is:

you can’t

Living out your Greater Purpose requires just that—LIVING. You simply cannot live the life you were designed to truly live without properly taking care of your body along the way.

Afterall, to go an do GREAT things in this life, you need:

 

  • Endurance and sustainable energy,
  • A body strong and capable of living out whatever God is calling you to do
  • A strong immune system to prevent illness and disease
  • The ability to sleep soundly to truly rest your body and mind
  • Strong bones and muscles to help prevent pain and injury
  • Properly functioning organs by supplying them with the necessary nutrients

 

Do we have control over all aspects of our body? Certainly not. Can we prevent all diseases and ailments, unfortunately, no.

But should you have the audacity to full take control of those aspects of your health that you CAN control and work to establish a balanced and true health for yourself by depending on the strength of God, He will bless your efforts and bless your path to your Greater Purpose to a Greater Health.

No matter what God has has established as your Greater Purpose, it is your responsibility to properly take care and nourish your body to do it!

While it is easy to feel the responsibility of your to feel like a burden , but if you take on the tasks as an act of gratitude for your life and for the body you have been blessed with, your health will no longer feel like such a burden but rather a blessing!  God will bless you in your obedience in taking care of your Holy Temple.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own;” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Being healthy and exercising your body is so much more than our bodies “looking a certain way”, God does not care about that.

 “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7)

Your true health is much more about what you can go out and DO for others, for yourself and for God.

Make sure your “Temple” is representin’ God’s greatness!! dawn_by_freelancah

 FOR EXAMPLE:

If God has called you to be a teacher, take care of your body and eat in a way that will inspire your students to do the same for themselves. While you are cultivating their mind, cultivate their own self worth and self care by showing them what health looks like.

If God has called you to be a mother, in the same light, take care of your body so you might show your children how you love your body and you love God. Show them how with God you can overcome the temptations of food addiction, idolatry of food/alcohol/substances, and even the temptation of self loathing or lethargy. That you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

If God has called you to go climb the highest mountain in the world so you can shout His name from the top, I’m pretty sure you are going to have to get in some pretty darn good shape to be able to do that.

If God has called you to travel the world as a missionary, you are going to need sustenance and a good supply of nutrients now to endure what lack of you might receive there.

If God has called you to be a singer, public speaker or Pastor, you bet you’re going to need to some energy to truly get up on that stage and have an impact with your voice. Your body will be used physically and as a shining example of the woman God created.

If God has called you to solve medical mysteries and diseases, your mind will need an incredible amount of nourishment in order to be able to critically think for so long. You will need energy and a body that can allow for true wisdom to come through which will require rest and exercise.

If God has called you to be of service by being an incredible friend or mentor to those around you, you too need to represent the love of God from the inside out. Show the people you love what it looks like to love God and to yourself enough to take care of your body too.  Do not be mere words.

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It is time that you use your Greater Purpose of this life to finally find the TRUE motivation to get to your TRUE health!

You will no longer be working out to “look like her.” You will no longer be “on a diet” to get a “bikini body.” You will no longer resort to surgeries, drugs or supplements to try to “cheat” your way to “looking better.”

Just to be clear, your Greater Purpose in life is not to look good in a bikini or to be able to take the perfect selfie for social media.

Your Greater Purpose is found in TODAY, not in tomorrow. So you are going to start TODAY, no, RIGHT NOW to make this life a life worth living.

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Take your next step toward your Greater Purpose. Take your next step toward your Greater Health!!

 

 

Want to know how we’re going to do it?!   Well here is where you might take advantage of an exciting opportunity with yours truly.

The key to success in your health is simply establishing the right goals and setting out to fulfill them in effective ways!

I have a 7-Step SURREND’hered Goal Development  I designed and implement with each of my Health Coaching Clients!

It involves:

-Setting (S.M.A.R.T) specific goals that fit in with your Greater Purpose way of living for you Body, Mind AND Soul.

-Using the power of Visualization for success and retraining your subconscious brain.

-Creating and implementing daily habits to establish effective results daily and to override the less effective ones you’ve been using.

– Ritualizing those habits to make them uniquely you!

 

If you are interested in participating in my 100% FREE 7-Step SURREND’hered Goal Development WORKSHOP, please subscribe to this email link HERE. It will be a daily emailed workshop that will last just 7 days!  It is a one-time event and will only be offered to a limited number of subscribers, so sign up quickly!

The workshop will cover not only these steps to TRUE HEALTH Goals, but will also include some BONUS workout guides, Nutrient-Based Eating Guide and Recipes!

So if you’re ready to make some changes in your health and need help figuring out the necessary steps to take to create some life changing goals, sign up for the GREATER HEALTH series HERE that will begin on:

Monday April 13!

Share the link and tell a friend and get excited about changing your health and changing your life!

If you are interested in getting started right away, I have just a couple positions open in my roster of 1:1 Virtual Health Coaching practice. Contact me at amanda@amandawrightfit.com or click on the Health Coaching Tab of my website.

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Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

From Pieces to Peace — 7 Distinguishing Signs You’re Living Your Greater Purpose

God Is Within Her 

The other day, I opened up about a time where I very blatantly ignored the voice of God within me when I decided to push myself to do a Bikini Competition.   As challenging as it is to open up about such private stories, I was surprised to find relief and even joy in divulging this to you.

You see, because I am where I am now and since I have done ALL the work I have done, I look back at that time, which was just about 2-years ago, and am beyond thankful that I had those dark days so I can fully relish and realize the light that I feel today.

It makes me weep almost daily at the beauty of what I feel inside. Make no mistake, my life is not perfect and I am still learning hard lessons every day, but the difference I am feeling TODAY versus how I was feeling just 2-years ago, feels like light years away.
It is as though the missing pieces of my soul have finally clicked into place.   As though the puzzle that was broken into a confusion of scattered pieces has finally started to come together to reveal the picture they were destined to—the picture of my heart.Pieces of Heart

I have gone from pieces to peace.

I have found the freedom and peace that I believe only comes from SURREND’hering myself the path to my Greater Purpose in life. By mustering the courage and bravery of changing my habits and refocusing my path, I now live a life that feels so full.  How different it feels than just 2 years ago.

I pray earnestly that all women (and men) might find this strength and peace.

I pray for the women who are lost, just as I was, and are trying desperately to create their own “Purpose” in this life.

Like I was, women who are suffering from their own ways and are coping with this suffering with endless cocktail hours, hook-ups, gossip, body and beauty obsession and more.

Like I was, women who think that if they can only accomplish Goal “X”,  they will be happy.  Only to find that Goal “X” just leads to a hamster wheel of new goal after new goal. Going faster and trying harder but getting nowhere and feeling no happier.

Like I was, women who think they have to create their own destiny and find their own Purpose and set out to create lists, and plans, and vision boards to get “there”, only to find there is no “there”, there.There there

 

As I explained the other day there are clear signs that we are on the path to our Greater Purpose or a path of our own choosing.

Greater Purpose, as I see it, is our destiny, our calling, and the WHY in our lives.

 Mark Twain Quote

There is so much we can go out an conquer in this world! There are endless opportunities that await us and so many challenges we can take head on!

HOWEVER, finding the Spiritual alignment of our Greater Purpose FIRST is the key to developing the right short-term and long-term goals to lead you to a life you dream of.

So, how do you know if you’re following God’s Greater Purpose or Your Own Path?

Using my experience from 2-years ago versus how I live my life NOW, I’ll explain the:

7 Distinguishing Signs You’re Living Your Greater Purpose:

  1. #1

God has a unique plan for your life but you must develop a relationship with Him in order to see the steps ahead. Time spent in prayer is key, but also allowing your life to fall into place as it is supposed to is key as well. Showing you can Surrend’her control to Him. You can tell something is in God’s plan when it all feels like it’s falling into place with little or no effort of your own. It does not mean it’s easy, but God will provide you the tools with each step.

When I decided to do my bikini competition I didn’t consult God to ask if I should do the show. I made my decision and theennnn prayed to God to help me do it, big difference! I heard God’s voice telling “I didn’t have to”, but I brushed it off  to justify my own ways of thinking. My process of training kept hitting wall after wall too. My body had to be pushed very hard to lose the amount of body fat that I did. While I expect a challenge from God’s path too, there is a difference between a challenge God gives me and the challenge I faced when trying to force my body to change so drastically.

Now, I am challenged every day to overcome my fears and tendency to worry about what people think of me, but I defeat those fears because I know God has called me to do this. God has put me on this path and God is more powerful than any fear or difficulty. My life is challenged but in a way that still gives me peace and hope that I am on the right path.

 

2.

#2

The path of your Greater Purpose is not presented to you on a map where you see exactly where it will lead. No, God just takes you day by day making you focus just on the next step of the path. Living intimately connected to Him in your soul allows you to see things just as they are right now, in the present moment. He will offer you refuge, patience, love, joy, understanding, awareness, wisdom etc if you see it in the moment you are in. Practicing this with Him allows you to live more fulfilled and aware of all that you are blessed with in this very moment, allowing your worries about “tomorrow” to fall by the way side.

When I was prepping for my bikini competition all I could think and fantasize about what what it was going to be like when this process was over. Dreaming of the day of the show, what I would get to eat, and how I was going to feel. Day by day, I was a walking hollow shell and felt I was floating through life hardly connecting to anyone or anything in my path.

Now, I still have no idea where this Greater Purpose may lead me, my marriage or lead this business, but I have faith and strong hope that God will see me/us through, and it will be Good.

 

3.

#3

 

The human side of us always tries to tie our relevance in life to what we do for a living. While our jobs are what we spend a great majority of our time doing, our Greater Purpose is how we perform our jobs and how we live our life outside of our jobs too. Our Greater Purpose flows from our soul outward which means it starts in the areas of our character, our core values and our personality.   These define us more than our job title.

When I was in competition mode, I was living a life of a weakened spirit. The values I was living by were self control, conformity, belonging, introversion and unworthiness. None of the values that I aspire to live out for my Greater Purpose now.

Now, I focus on the values God calls me to live— Love, Health, Integrity, Empathy, Service to Others, and Obedience. I would describe my calling and my Greater Purpose by these words that guided me to in my Core Values Exercise. (click link to receive the Core Value Exercise)

 

4.

#4

 

Our life is meant to be lived and shared with others. Loving and serving others and caring about those around you, not just in the physical sense, but caring about their spiritual well being as well.

When I was in competition mode, I had no real time to think about other people. I could only muster the energy to make it through my 2-hour workouts and my 5-6 meals of protein and supplements and really had no time to fellowship with my friends, family or even strangers.

This was the part I hated the most and the part I cringe at when I see other friends competing. All I talked about with my friends was me, my diet, my workouts, how I’m feeling, what I need to work on still…… me me ME! I got so sick of talking about ME.

Now, when I’m on the phone with my health coaching clients, I get so much joy from hearing more about them. I find more purpose in listening than in speaking. While my Greater Purpose is also tesJames-1-192ting my own voice (both written and verbally), I am always reminded to be quick to listen and slow to speak. It is a challenge for me, but I value learning first, teaching second.

 

 

 

 

5.

#5

 

When God sets you on your path to your Greater Purpose you feel secure and so motivated in your daily life that it gives you such forbearance and patience to help propel you through the day. Although, you may not know where you path is leading tomorrow, you have a calm sense of knowing that what you’re doing is Right.

When I was in competition mode, I was impatient, irritable, and cranky with the slowness of life. I could not wait for each day to get over and I could not wait for the day of the show. This impatience certainly contributed to the more and more drastic actions I took to get me to the stage.

Now, while I can’t say I love being patient, I certainly have learned to appreciate it. Living in the present focuses my mind on my true motivation and what I should be doing. This activity naturally builds patience to result because I have less time to worry about what will be….I am swept up in the power of now.

 

6.

#6

 

God will reveal to you exactly the thing you should be working on and strengthening. He offers times of work and times of rest that allow a balanced approach to you life. Following His Greater Purpose path, you’ll find that as you rest some areas of your life for short periods, you can be engaging and growing other areas that will need tending to. Listening for His guidance allows you to live a balanced life.

When I was training, I was only focused on one thing—my body. I did not rest my body, nor did I have time to strengthen any other part of my life—like my mind or my spirit. My emotions were burnt out, and I felt off balance.

Now, I find time to work on all three areas of my life- Body, Mind and Soul. I’ll put “work” on my body (via exercise or by focusing intently on my diet) and then rest that stress. While Im resting my body, I find ways to engage my mind. To rest my mind, I find ways to open my spirit and surrender more. Once I feel spiritually restored, I can go back to putting work into my body! It all flows together in a balanced approach and balanced life.

Even though my life feels like a whirlwind of travel and being on the go, I feel much more “together” than I ever have before.

7.

#7

 

When you full embrace and Surrend’her to God’s path for you, you can fully realize and see that you have very little to do with how your life really plays out. You realize how small you are and how Great God is. Even in our inner strengths, character and values we have, God is responsible for this awareness and for these unique characteristics all coming together to create the masterpiece that you are.

When I was in competition mode, I put all the ownership on myself. That I was solely responsible for what I was able to achieve. It put a lot of pressure on myself and perfectionist way of thinking.

Now, I can live a life free from that burden because I realize and appreciate how much God really take care of. That I don’t need to take the ownership of every detail because He will do it in a better way than I could anyway.

Looking for the path of your Greater Purpose is a challenge and I hope you all can see you’re probably on the right path in some areas of your life, but may be holding on to other areas as your own.  I encourage you to take a deep look at ALL of your life and see if you have truly SURREND’hered it all or have held on to some pieces.  More will be revealed to me, I know.  I’ll be looking out…..

 

 

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