Tag: Weight loss

Categories
Food & Nutrition Spiritual Health

The Worst Health Advice I’ve Ever Received….Part 2

and Truth I know now…

We are midway through this 3-part series I’m sharing on the “Worst Advice” I have received from fitness “professionals” that I have learned is simply BAD ADVICE.  
 
Last blog (link here), I shared with you the fact that some professional football players told me that "I shouldn’t do so many lunges since I already had “thick thighs.”'  So not only was this RUDE advice, but it was very BAD advice because as I went over, the LEANEST my thighs ever got was also the MOST and HEAVIEST amount of lifting I had ever done!    It is backwards to our female intuition, but it is the TRUTH about women’s bodies.  We need muscle to burn fat. 
 
Today’s story is also some bad advice from another male trainer who really offered me some terrible advice while I was beginning to thinking about training for the bikini competition. 
 
This was when I was 29-years old and I was working part-time at my favorite gym in the whole world, Bodies by Perseverance in Denver, CO.  
 
A trainer that worked there at the time (before he was let go) had offered to train me for free for a few sessions and was one who was pushing me to consider doing a bikini competition.  
 
At this time I was very suspicious of the whole process (which proved to be good intuition on my part that I should have trusted) because I was seeing a lot of girls lose a TON OF WEIGHT, but they were REALLY CRANKY and irritable the whole time.  Then, once the show was over, I saw the grand majority GAIN ALL THE WEIGHT BACK and then some.  
 
Well, when this trainer revealed to me his master strategy for how he was going to train me, I knew this was the reason why!   
 

He told me, and I quote,  “You need to burn as many calories in exercise as you eat in the day.”  End quote. 

 
So, his “diet plan” for me would include a menu of 900-1200 calories total (which for me an my 5’10” frame is WAYYYYYY too low) of virtually no carbs, and he also expected me to BURN about 900-1200 calories a day doing EXERCISE!  
 
This is not only BAD ADVICE but this is DANGEROUS advice that can seriously harm your metabolism.  
 
I obviously did not hire this trainer to do my competition and I did still suffer some of the effects of the more extreme diet and exercise programs all warrant for doing a show, but at least I didn’t cause grave, sometimes irreversible damage that his advice could have cause me. 
 
Let’s set the record straight on your METABOLISM and HOW MANY CALORIES TO EAT or BURN each day. 

METABOLISM TRUTHS: 

—If you starve your body either by eating too few calories or burning too many calories (or both) you will slow down your metabolism and will have an incredibly hard time speeding it up again.  This makes it nearly impossible to burn fat and lose weight again.  If you were to lose weight this way but then gain it back (because your body thinks it's starving so it kicks up your appetite and cravings) you will have a MUCH HARDER time losing weight again.  Your body does not forget the times when you’ve starved it.  It won’t be so quick to lose its fat reserves next time.
 
—Metabolic experts have research based evidence that says that to avoid slowing down of your metabolism, your goal should be to eat as much as possible while still showing signs of weight loss.  The process will go in a stepwise fashion of slowly decreasing calories or increasing calorie burn via exercise to "test and see" how much you can eat while still showing results.  This will take TIME and PATIENCE but will be well worth the effort in order to maintain the metabolism as much as possible.     
 
So, at my size (5’10”, 157 lbs) and age (34 years), I burn about 2,000-2,100 calories a day just from my everyday life (taken from my Apple Watch).    If I exercise for 30-45 mins and take a leisure walk, I may get up to about 2600 calories burned per day.  This means, to keep my metabolism revved up, I need to eat no less than 1600-1700 calories per day on non-workout days or 2100-2300 calories per day on workout days.  (This is if I want to lose weight).
 
The fat loss process needs to go much SLOWER than you think it does.  For example, if I have a rough deficit of 500 calories per day over the course of a full week, I will at most lose 1 lb of fat per week.  Now, hormones and inflammation, and all that will sway the “weight” part, but you can rest assured that this will allow for fat burning that you will notice more over time. 
 
—Metabolic damage is very serious that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Because of the surge of women deciding to do bikini or bodybuilding competitions, we are seeing a rise in the damage done.  Things like autoimmune disorders like Hashimoto’s (Thyroid), adrenal fatigue, and whacked out estrogen/progesterone (from any extended stress) can all result  from this aggressive approach to weight loss.   Your hormones matter!!  Take caution. 
 
While all this physical effects are important to address, but to me these consequences of physical and metabolic damage is small in comparison to the SPIRITUAL damage and the condemnation you feel when you lose weight and gain it all back because your body is fighting against you “starving” it for quicker results.  It only took me 5 months to lose 7% of body fat, but it took me OVER A YEAR and a LOT OF GOD’S GRACE to help me forgive myself for doing it and gaining the weight back.  
 
 

This is why I ever started A. Wright Fit as a fit and FAITHFUL business and created my her Health Lounge to be:

8 WEEKS OF BODY (Nutrition & Fitness) EDUCATION
8 WEEKS OF MINDSET INTENTION & 
8 WEEKS OF SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT
 
When you change anything physical about your body you will do so by either BUILD-UP your Spiritual muscles or BREAKING-DOWN your Spirit.  It's one way or another.  And the way that society teaches us usually ends up on the destructive side toward our Spiritual growth.  
 
The reason why women take such drastic measure to change their body is because of an unhealthy relationship with their body.  There are so many mindset barriers and lies that women will believe about themselves that this program can help set you straight.  It also teaches you how to strengthen your Spirit which builds the patience, endurance, and self-control that are all pivotal in winning the fat loss game long term!  
 
 
I’m REALLY excited to invite you to join!  Again, doors open on April 3 and the close on April 9th!  So don’t miss your chance to transform your life!  Please join the waitlist HERE to learn more!  

her Health Lounge opens April 3!

The 26-week journey to a LIFETIME of health success starts on April 10!  The her Health Lounge will be open for limited members starting April 3!  To be the first to know, put your name on the list HERE.  You'll get a nice little discount too!   

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition

3 Simple Steps to Maintain and Not Gain This Holiday Season

Real quick, just a friendly reminder that today is the LAST DAY to save big on the A. Wright Fit Daniel Challenge!  For Cyber Monday, I'm extending my offer for this 6-Week Nutrition Course that starts in the New Year.  After tomorrow it will go back up to $97, but today, you can grab a spot for yourself or any friends in need of thoughtful and helpful gifts, for just 50% off!   Click this link to purchase and enter the coupon code: danielchallenge50.

Can't wait to see the breakthroughs that will come this New Year together!!  For more info, here's the info page. 

But, from now until then, we have a WHOLE LOTTA HOLIDAYS to get through and ideally, we want to do it without completely losing all self-control on the Christmas cookies or spiked Eggnog, #amiright? 

As I mentioned the other day, I recently lost about 7 lbs of weight and inflammation while doing just a 7-day Daniel Fast.  In spite of a glorious Thanksgiving back home in Colorado, I have maintained this weight loss and still feel SO MUCH better!  

The thing is that it is RARE to actually keep off the weight you lose, so I'm definitely brushing up my maintenance skills myself and want you to do the same! 

Over the course of being a Certified Nutrition Coach and personal trainer, I have seen time and time again that I could help HUNDREDS of clients lose 20, 40, 60 lbs of weight over several months of hard work and discipline, but I saw time and time again that MOST of my clients would GAIN BACK a significant portion of the weight they lost. 

Part of the problem was that I had put them on a "meal plan" where they would measure and count their macronutrients.  The tactic worked, as we both saw, but it didn't last because it wasn't a sustainable lifestyle!  

So, this, along with my own spiritual awakening, is what spurred me to create the Nutrient Based Eating program (which is also offered in the Daniel Challenge) AND also allowed me to transition to a more HOLISTIC approach to health changes. 

This is where the STRONG'her (body), WISE'her (mindset), SURREND'her (spirit) tag line came from.  I realized that your health HAS to this balanced approach in order to not just attain health results, but more importantly, MAINTAIN THEM once you achieve them. 

So, for this Holiday season, allow me to give you...

3 PART PLAN TO MAINTAIN THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:

1. STRONG'her TIP:   The 80% RULE

I call this the "Dating vs Married Principle" in my coaching.  Essentially, what you did to get her you're going to have to do to keep her!  But by "her" I mean, your body changes.  

You need sustain about 80% of the activity and clean eating strategies to simply MAINTAIN what you lost. 

So, if you workout 4 days a week to attain the results, you will need to still workout 3 days per week at about 80% of the intensity to maintain your results. 

If you typically eat really clean for 3 meals and have 1 treat per day to attain your results, you'll still need to eat 80% clean and maybe add in a 2nd treat to be able to maintain those results.

Now, if one week you're on real vacation and you won't have access to your regular routine, seriously don't sweat it.  Just try to keep things normal the week before and the week after and during your trip and walk a lot more and do some bodyweight workouts or yoga while away!  One week won't make a huge difference, but 40 days (between TG and New Year) will! So, set up your plan!

One really helpful tool I can give you is a simple weekly chart I call my "her Intentional Consistency."  I have all my clients write down the THINK, EAT, MOVE goals each week and check off the box when they complete it.  You can download your own copy here to help you track your own consistency.  

intentional

2. WISE'her TIP:   MANAGE YOUR "ALL OR NOTHING" THOUGHTS

The MINDSET is everything this time of year!  The truth is that you should enjoy anything that you want to eat, but STOP convincing yourself that this is the VERY LAST TIME you can have it since "it's the holidays."

It's simply not TRUE.  When you shift your thoughts away from the "FOMO" (fear of missing out) and start repeating the TRUTH that you can have whatever you want to eat and ANY TIME during the year, you realize that fear dissipates and it strengthens your self-control to enjoy SOME bites, but not the whole batch type of thing.  

So, pay attention to your thoughts in your head.  If you find yourself making excuses like,  "Well, I'll get started again in the New Year, it's just too hard to resist this time of year," then I highly suggest your correct those thoughts before you start to wear them.  

The truth is you CAN enjoy your favorite holiday treats in moderation and still eat in a balanced way the other 80% of the time.

And better yet, when you feel empowered and in control of your eating and don't see the weight gain, bloating and discomfort that comes from binge eating or drinking, then you will actually ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS more!  

Why don't you test it out and see?!

 

3. SURREND'her TIP:   WELL, SURREND'her IT!

Honestly, if we could all remember that God is with us to help us with e-ver-y-thing on our heart, we wouldn't try to do these difficult things on our own!

Have you ever thought that your eating and exercise is something that "I should be responsible for" and "not bother God with?"  I know I have.   I thought, "Why would I pray for help with my eating when there are people out there with real problems, like not having any food to eat!"

But this is an error in thinking.  When I realized JUST HOW ABUNDANT GOD IS and that when He offers me more self-control (one of the Fruits of the Spirit, Galatians 5:22-23), it's not like He has LESS power or love to give to others!  He's LIMITLESS!

If you struggle with the guilt or asking God to help you with your health, then here is a scripture for you to memorize and dwell on for several days.  

James 4:2b-3 NLT
"Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure." 

Overall, this holiday season is always meant to me a celebration!  There is a reason for the season, and it's not to overdo it on spending or calories.  It's to fully receive the incredible gift of our Savior's birth.  

Certainly enjoy your special occasions and those holiday favorites that are worth-it to you.  But remember, life is much more than food.  Get up, get active, focus on your blessings and enjoy every minute.  

 

danielchallenge-coupon-code

Categories
Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Best Kind of Weight Loss

So I just got off the phone with one of my new clients and I am so inspired that I am actually going to botch the entire blog that I’ve been working on for the last couple of weeks to share this story with you today!

This client and I have only been working together for a couple of weeks so far, but she hired me describing feeling being at “an all-time low point with her health”.  She knew she needed to drastically change her health and knew she needed someone to help coach, guide and support her in some significant changes she was ready to make.  I am so lucky she chose me. 

I told her, as I tell all my clients, that I learn just as much from them as they do from me.  It is an absolute honor and priveledge that I get to be a support system for any woman willing to face her fears, overcome obstacles and set herself back on the path that God has created for her.  To witness such transformations with her, changes my soul and teaches me much more than I could ever learn on my own and through my own experiences. 

So, as I do with all clients, the first step that we take together is to decide and write down what her goals are going to be.  I whole-heartedly believe that choosing the (W)right goal for yourself is the most important step in becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her, andSURREND’her your life UP and should not be a rushed decision. 

GoalWithoutAPlan

If you are truly ready for some real change in your life and in your health, you must get the SURREND’her part down first.  That means, choosing the kind of health goal that GOD wants you to choose, not that you and your fears or lack-based tendencies are pressuring you to choose. 

 (By the way, I have combined all 7-steps into an ebook that can be downloaded when you subscribe to my emails newsletters HERE.)

As we discussed her goals over the course of the first couple of phone calls, the tone of her voice sounded unsure, embarrassed, discouraged, and soft. 

The tone of her voice when we just spoke today?  Completely different.  It sounded light, free, upbeat, and confident.

So what had changed? 

Well, she shifted her thinking and shifted her search for her goals!  Her story was so awe inspriing, I wanted to share with you here today.     

When she first contacted me she had told me her measurable goal was to lose X number of pounds.  This is extremely common and not at all a “bad” goal.  In fact, I highly encourage measurable goals to help motivate, track and stay accountable.    

However, there are a million ways to measure your goals, so I encouraged her to take some time and truly reflect on whether or not this was the right goal for her and was indeed what God wanted her to focus on.

After this conversation, she told me she kept seeing messages about spiritual fasting popping-up in her world and she decided to do an incredibly brave thing——she listened. 

She decided the signs were pointing her to do a spiritual fast and see if she could find some clarity about this health process.  So for a almost a full week, she only ate vegetables and fruit and spent the time she would have spent eating, praying and reflecting more with God. 

(NOTE: This is a highly effective practice for anyone spiritually mature enough to make it about connecting with God to answer a prayer and not about doing a “cleanse” to help you lose weight.  Your heart posture matters!  If you would like more information about this, I’m happy to help answer or guide you, just email me!)

As God promises us in the Bible, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7)  When she sought clarity from God, He gave it to her.

During this fasting period, she came across a book that just seemed to pop-off the shelf to her.  It was called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Vosakamp.   The story resonated with her on such a deep level she devoured it in about 2 hours flat and had her new measureable health goal from it.    

Today, with her voice full of courage, hope and a new depth of Faith, she announced her new goal to me:   She is going to seek and find her 1,000 gifts. 

One Thousand Gifts

Every day, she is going to seek out the gifts of her life and write them all down.  She will set her her intention on finding all that is good in her life and will spend her time looking for that, not just seeing her life through the lens of self pressure or busyness.     

Her choice of a goal actually went hand-in-hand with a morning devotion that I had happened to read just this morning from the book, Nearer to Jesus by Sarah Young, which read:

“As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day.  Look carefully for them and pluck them one by one.  When you reach the end of the day, you will have gathered a lovely bouquet.  Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart.  Receive My Peace as you lie down to sleep, with thankful thoughts plying a lullaby in your mind.” 

It is of no coincidence that she and I had received similar messages of seeking out the smGod Winkall treasures from God on the very same day.  These are the “God winks” that we can all experience every day that we have our eyes opened and willing to receive it. 

The best part of the phone call was the next part she told me…. 

She said that naturally Monday morning she decided to weigh herself to see if her weight had dropped after doing a week of fasting.   It did…..but only 2 pounds. 

She was fighting the natural instinct to be disappointed that after so much “restriction” she did not see more physical weight loss.

I reminded her however, that she had actually lost a significant amount of weight, it just wasn’t the kind of weight that we know how to measure.

You see, this past weekend after the fasting, she described how she had been able to go to her favorite Mexican food restaurant and felt satisfied after eating only 20% of her favorite meal. 

She went to a baby shower and was able to resist the unhealthy food choices and cupcakes, and made the best decision she could with the options she had (chicken salad and some fresh vegetables and fruit) and felt good and satisfied by it.    

The weight she lost was not physical weight.  It was the lifting of the MENTAL burden that she had been bearing for the past several years regarding food, cravings and overall energy.   I could tell she had lost such weight simply by the lightness of her voice.    

Weight gain is very rarely about actual “weight.”  90%+ of the time, our weight is determined more by our thoughts than anything else. 

  • Having a dieters mentality is a heavy burden. 
  • Being unhappy and discouraged by your body all the time wears you down.
  • Always feeling stressed to eat the right foods and to do the right exercises is a heavy load to bear.

All of these things are much “heavier” than the actual weight we may need to lose. 

Being able to lighten the burden of of our thoughts is MUCH MORE REWARDING than losing a few more pounds in one week. 

She was able to fight the temptation of disappointment and stay on this path of greater understanding, joy and peace because she was able to instead focus her life on the gifts of her day. 

From here, she will be able to now move forward toward an healthier body with a much lighter mental burden that will allow her to find True Health and success that no “diet” would have.

This is SURREND’hering.

I encourage anyone reading this to take the following steps to transform your MIND as well by asking yourself these 3 things.

  1. Are my current health goals really what God wants me to focus on or am I creating goals to fill some sort of void I have in my heart that only He can fill?

    If you find that you are not focusing on the right goals, take the time to pray and change them.  God will empower you and guide you if you ask Him.

  2. What are the small gifts that I encountered today that I can pick like a fresh flower bouquet? 

    Even if you’ve had a really crappy day so far, is there 1 or 2 things you can find that were unexpected gifts?  Perhaps you can start a journal too to see if you can get to 1,000 gifts?!

  3. What kind of mental weight am I bearing on my body that I need to lose before I can lose any physical weight?  Am I putting unrealistic expectations on myself?  Am I living only for others approval?  Am I taking on others burdens as my own? 

    Pray that God will show you how to unburden and share the “yoke” with Him so that you do not bear the weight all alone.

    SurrenderisInstersection

Final reminders that if any of you would like to also work with me for 1:1 Health Coaching, I have just a couple more spots available in my current roster.  You can check out the new 6-Part Module forum I’m offering in my 12-Week SURREND’her Health Transformation in this link HERE.  Feel free to reach out and contact me via email at amanda@amandawrightfit.com and I can answer any more questions you have!
  

Categories
Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

{Public Service Announcement} YOU are WORTHY

I have to admit, every time I contemplate opening up and writing about certain spiritual moments in my personal life, I get very nervous and unsure if I should.  But today, I feel as though this is too powerful and too necessary of a message that I can’t let any fear hold me back.

So here it goes……

As directed, I was standing in the quiet solitude, opening the posture of my heart and wondering if this was really going to work.  Pastor Alan Kraft was praying over us in the congregation and was speaking to the areas that we might be “thirsting for MORE of the Holy Spirit”. 
Thirsting SoulHe asked if some of us might be contemplating “an area of risk or feeling God might be asking us to step out of our comfort zone in some way.”

He instructed those of us that were feeling this area of “thirst in our souls”, to ask God, in the quiet of our heart, to give us a word or a phrase that He wanted us to know. 

In moment, the word that filled my heart was….

“Worthy”

Pastor Alan is the lead Pastor of Christ Community Church in my home town in Greeley,CO.  I just so happened to be back in town and of course always love to attend the church where this Pastor  played such a significant role in reawakening my soul and therefore my life as I now know it.  There is no amount of money or tithe that I could possibly repay this church, and that humble man, for the impact he has had on my life during some of my darkest days (I’m talking about every break-up I ever faced!).  It was a divine gift that led me to that church when I did.  I am so grateful for this blessed impact.   

This day would be another example of God’s wondrous miracles and His abundant grace pouring down on me in this Church.

This word “Worthy” brought me to tears immediately.    

It was as though with just the small prick of one simple word, the entire ho- air-balloon 
Hot Air Balloon-sized amount of guilt, fear and true UNworthiness I had been feeling for SO long was completely deflated.

This would not be the first time a single word would have such a huge impact on my life.  About 4-years ago now, I was living with my parents just after moving back to Colorado from California and was really unsure what I was “supposed to be doing.”

I was watching an Oprah Winfrey, Master Class, about the star herself (see video link).  She was speaking about the time she was jogging, literally at a fat farm, and so upset about not getting the role she thought God had called her to get  for the movie, The Color Purple.  She was tormented by this and in her grief, finally started to spontaneously sing the hymn “I Surrender All”, reminding herself that she needed to just Surrender this expectation and her life to God.  She describes it as just words at first, but the more she repeated that chorus and the more she started to pray on it, the more she was truly able to SURRENDER herself and be ok with not getting that part. 

Oprah Surrender

The second she got to that place in her Spirit, someone came running out to let her know she had a call from Steven Spielberg himself, offering her the role she had dreamed of.  It all happened the moment she truly “Surrendered”.

But the word, as she said it, seemed to leap off her mouth on the TV and smack me upside the head. 

“Surrender”

It was, as she would certainly describe it, an “aha moment” of magnitude 10. 

As you might have guessed by my repeated use here and now trademarked version of my, SURREND’her, this word became my mantra for living ever since that day. Just as Oprah describes it was just merely a word to me at first, but the more I prayed it out or I wrote it down and repeated it to myself, the more I was able to truly Surrender my spirit more and more.  istock-purchased-surrenderIt was so freeing to think that I could loosen the tight grip of all this life choices I thought I was going to have to create for myself.  That I did not need to control my own destiny, that I could surrender it all to God and trust that He would take care of it. 

Just as he has with Oprah, God has blessed me with the life of my dreams, and I know I’m only getting started!   It led me to several life changing experiences and challenges!  I have been able to accept and embrace things in my life that I never would have dreamed like step-parenting, forgiving, moving, and world traveling!   But here I am , Surrendering to it still now, and loving EVERY. SURREND’hered. Moment.

So now, this new word…….WORTHY.

I realized I had been feeling so UNworthy in so many ways. 

UNworthy of God’s presence in my life and for his debt that He paid for my sin.

UNworthy or guilty of the blessing of being back with my fiancé, now husband, Howard and all that we were planning to do and a wealth of opportunity I never had imagined for my life. 

I also felt very UNworthy of the calling I had been starting to feel in my soul and all of THIS….

THIS dream, of this very website and the possibility of writing or speaking publicly about my health and my faith is is huge step out of my comfort zone.  But I am strengthened only by God’s presence in me.

 I had an intense amount of fear that was causing me to procrastinate and divert my attention to other menial tasks, instead of starting this project and site.  Even now, there is intense amount of fear that surfaces again and again with each post because it is an extremely vulnerable thing to talk about not just my life, but my Faith.   I have always felt very private about my faith mainly because I never, ever want to offend anyone and don’t want to make anyone think that I am trying to force a religion down their throats.

But in this moment, God called me WORTHY and it is now imprinted on my heart.  I wear this worthiness like a badge of honor to play this “worthy” role, even if my fears want to try to talk me out of owning it.

Just like I did with ‘Surrender”, I put this word every where! It’s on my Vision Board, on a custom sign I’m having made for my desk and I write it down as often as I can, especially when I’m journaling or feeling especially emotional and fearful. 

WORTHY
My Office Shelf with my Vision Board titled WORTHY

This word ‘Worthy’ truly became the daily reminder that God is telling me I’m worthy of this all and I’m worthy of His love and blessings He wants to bestow to me if I am obedient to His calling.    I should not hold myself back from all of my hearts desires because of the LIE of ‘unworthiness’ I had been feeling for so long.

THIS WEEK…..

I am reminded of this word this week as I have talked to more than one close girlfriend who are also fellow Christians, but are struggling in different areas of their life, like we all are.

Both of them confided to me that they had been feeling “UNworthy” of all of their blessings in their life too.   They used that exact word…”UNworthy”….

I realized when speaking to these friends that they too were caught in the fear and the lie of this feeling of unworthiness and it is stalling them in taking the next step they need to take on their path for their Greater Purpose. 

And now it’s hit me. 

Really, this word was never just MY word to now use.    

No, this word that God gave me on that September day was always intended as a gift for you.  You, whoever you are, reading this right now. 

It is a miracle that you happen to be reading this very blog this day because God has something very special He wanted me to remind you.

worthyYou are worthy of it all.

You are worthy of your blessings.  You are worthy of His Grace.  You are worthy of His forgiveness.  You are worthy of YOUR calling to YOUR Greater Purpose. You are worthy of the
price Jesus paid when He died for your sins.  You are worthy of your dreams.

You are worthy of your health. 

You are worthy of His love.

He wants you to wear this word of “Worthy” like a tattoo on your heart because you will never be rid of your worthiness.  

If you feel that you have been holding yourself back from your dreams (whether they are dreams about your health, or dreams about your calling, or anything!) because you have been feeling deep down inside that you are somehow UNworthy of the true blessing God has planned for you, then TODAY is your day to step out from behind those dark shadows and lies of UNworthiness.

FEAR IS A LIAR

FEAR is a LIAR.  Your feeling of UNWORTHINESS is a LIE straight from Satan himself that has plagued your spirit and has caused you to hold back from fully committing your life to your Greater Purpose.  It is holding you back from SURREND’hering it ALL to God, not just some of your life. 

God has created you for a Greater Purpose and you are WORTHY and capable of every step ahead of you!!

If you are feeling unsure about the next steps in your life and unsure if you are living out a life of your WORTHY calling, then I would be honored to help you decide what your WORTHY goals should be! 

I am hosting a 7-part/day series called 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development where I am going to take a limited number of participants through the program I developed that I use personally every day and I use with each of my Health Coaching Clients.

You will be creating and designing goals for your life to help you fulfill your Greater Purpose!  To put action to this call of urlWORTHINESS and to start the action steps to accomplish ALL God has called you to do. 

You will get the chance to learn how to achieve goals in ALL areas of your True Health (or life!) including Body Goals, Mindset Goals and Spiritual Goals to become….

a wright fit tag line

It will be an incredibly rewarding time of self-discovery, visualization and action steps to achieve all God is calling you to achieve!!

The series will start on Monday, April 13 and will be emailed to you for just 7-Days.

For YOU, I will offer this service for FREE because I think you are Worthy of achieving any goal or dream in your heart. 

To take part of this 7-Steps to SURREND’hered GOAL Development click HERE and share with as many people as you think are WORTHY as well.  

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Enough with the Guilt! 4 Ways to Rid The Guilt

Enough with the Guilt!

Each woman in this world has a space to fill.  Each woman is worthy of infinite blessings from God.  Each woman is designed for a noble cause and has capacity for blessed improvement in this life she may lead.

YOU are worthy of your space, your purpose and your path.

Yet, what I am hearing from clients, from friends and from, frankly, my own head, is a tremendous about of guilt caused from what only can be “not good enough” syndrome. 

“Oh, I totally botched my diet this weekend!  Ugh, I am totally going to have to workout extra this week and cut some extra calories.”

“I never feel like my house is clean enough.  I should spend some more time dusting”

“I don’t feel like I’m doing a good enough job parenting.  I’m not there enough for them or helping them enough with homework.”

“Everyone at the office is putting in more hours than me, I should to stay late at work so they don’t think I’m the weak link.”

“I should really do something sexy for my husband, but I have just been feeling too tired lately and certainly not sexy.”

“I haven’t spent any time alone with God lately, I am sure He is going to punish me in some way.  I really need to go to church this weekend.”

Guilt, especially in women, seems to run rampant in our minds and more gravely in our spirit.

But let’s be very honest with ourselves, GUILT does not bring about any real and lasting change in our lives. 

There will always be more things that we “should” be doing better.  There will always be ways that we are falling short of perfection.  We are human. 

I think most women are aware of the guilt that they feel.  But it has become a feeling that is so familiar that it may actually become a tactic we use as false motivation. 

It’s false because the idea of guilting oneself into true change is like putting a bandaid-type of fix to an open-artery-type of need. 

Using guilt as motivation will not bring about true transformation, true change and true relief into any area of our life we are trying to improve whether it be personal, body, family, work, romance, or spirit.

If we take it outside of our own heads, we can clearly see several examples of how guilting others does not in fact motivate anyone for real change. 

For example:

The “diet” phenomenon is something that is all to common these days, and I am guilty of unintentionally prescribing such ways of thinking early in my nutrition career.  By issuing things like exact meal plans and precise diets to follow is basically establishing a set of “rules” that each client is expected to follow in order to garner success in weight loss.   The same goes for any diet program or fad that society will flock to, they are essentially establishing their own set of new “rules” to follow.   

But, each time we set up “rules” to follow, we are automatically setting up ways for us to issue these same feelings of “guilt” when we inevitably fall short or “cheat”. 

The problem with guilting our society into these weight loss “rules” is that it clearly does not have long-lasting results!  We have all seen more diet failures than successes!  There is a reason why the rate of overweight and obesity is on the rise despite having more diets out there than ever before.  Diets and their “rules” don’t work.

None of my clients had any intention of following my meal plan for the rest of their lives just as many people who try out the new fad diet will likely resort back to old eating habits eventually too!  Just short months after working with me and finding weight loss success,  I saw a great many clients gain back half, if not all, of the weight they had lost and were riddled with guilt about it.  The “rules” and the subsequent “guilt motivation” clearly didn’t last!  In fact, it just caused more guilt!

Outside of weight loss, I’ve also witnessed this ineffective guilt tactic in the role of religion in our country.  While I know a great many of friends that do believe that there is a God and most of whom do believe in Jesus as well, I would say the majority of those that do not embrace a Christian lifestyle don’t because of some religious person or persons that had evoked some sort of rules and guilt tactic on them at some point in their life. 

So often, “religious” people get very caught up in the “rules” of the bible and “rules” of following a Christian lifestyle.  It is off-putting to think that one has to do so many things in order to make it into heaven!  You have to go to church, tithe 10%, get baptized, pray daily, take communion, confession, etc etc etc.    

I was blessed to be born into a healthy and faith-based household, but even I have had some very strong and off-putting experiences with “religious” people that were trying to enforce some “Christian” agenda.  It did NOT work to get me into church more and it did NOT work to affect any change on my life. 

Guilting me about my sin was not an way to get me to change in any real way. 

I shudder when I think about those crazy “christian” types that are picketing with signs outside of court houses bashing abortion and gay people and blaming them for our natural disasters.    

It is sickening and maddening when people try to use guilt as a motivating tactic, especially when they put the name of God on their own judgement.  I am just glad that we have a fair and just God who WILL handle all condemnation in this after life.

We see that these tactics evoke any real change, and yet we still guilt ourselves daily. 

One things I know for sure,

 GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD. 

If you want to truly change your life for the better?  Truly transform your heart?  Truly realign your soul in the direction you are destined to go? 

What you need is…..

Less GUILT and More GOD. 

Guilt is not one of the fruits of the Spirit.  Guilt is not one of the characteristics that is revealed of God throughout the Bible.  Guilt is not the purpose of any one of the teachings of Jesus while he walked this earth. 

Any time we feel guilty for not being enough in some way, that is not from God but is the devil trying to keep us playing small by feeling overwhelmed and lost.

God knows that we are never going to get it all done perfectly as much as we might try.  God knows that we are human and flawed in our nature.  Our imperfection has Greater PURPOSE.  God uses it to bless us!

Each one of our flaws opens up a greater opportunity for us to depend on God. 

We don’t do it by mastering the religious practices, or by following a specific religious doctrine. 

We do it by engaging in an ongoing relationship with Him.

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5

Our imperfections are our avenues for God’s amazing grace to dwell and fill the empty space within.

Naturally, all of this elicits the question:

What are we to do with our guilt?   How do we actually step away from our natural “guilt” response?

Here are 4 R’s to Remember When You’re Riddled with Guilt:

1.)RECOGNIZE the trigger words in your head

You know the ongoing conversation we have with ourselves in our head?  Well, there are repeatable words and phrases that are common when guilting ourselves that we can recognize and change.

“Should” or “shouldn’t”—“I should have gone to the gym this morning.”  “I shouldn’t have eaten so much for lunch. 

“Ugh”, or “Ick”— Often when looking in the mirror or looking at our messy homes, the first word in our thoughts it something like “ugh.”  For some of my close friends lately, it’s more like “ewwww”. 🙂

“Just”– Commonly more of the complaining side of guilt, but phrases like “I just need more time in my day”, “I just wish I could have done more on that project at work.”

Your head might have different catch phrases when thinking guilty thoughts, but I encourage you to take some time to recognize your own thought patterns!

2.)  REMEMBER that God is with you in your mind and knows what you are thinking. 

What helps me is the second I recognize those trigger words in my head, I think about God sitting in an listening to them.  I think of how much He loves me and how much those thoughts don’t serve me or serve Him.  I open my heart and my internal ears for Him to gently guide my thoughts to Him and to how HE sees me, not just how I see me.

*Remember, if you have thoughts that God is seeing you with anything other than love, know that these thoughts are from the devil.  Do not confuse the two and do not listen to the evil thoughts in your head!*

3.) REPHRASE your thought in a way that is more self loving. 

Give yourself credit for what you ARE doing that is right and good and helpful to your life’s improvement.   This can be very hard to do in the moment, especially when we are so conditioned to be so hard on ourselves.  But opening yourself up even 1x a day for some self love can work wonders in motivating yourself from within. 

4.) REFOCUS your effort–

Ask yourself questions like,

“If I wasn’t trying to be perfect right now at everything, how can I use this time to better one area of my life that truly needs it?” 

or  

“What is it that I really want and need to do right now.”

So often, we feel guilt because we are trying to juggle a ton of things all at once and not doing any one of them very well! 

Stepping back and assessing what God is telling you to focus on “right now” is key! 

All day, I now have this conversation with God and truly believe that He is guiding me in the most mundane of activities. 

I don’t audibly hear Him talking to me, but it is a spiritual flow that only occurs when I remember to think about Him and I ask for small step guidance. 

When I am constantly speaking to God within, I do not have words of guilt flowing through my head.  I speak to myself in a more self loving and supportive way which is the most motivating and inspirational way of speaking possible!

Oh, the things I can accomplish when I skip the guilt!!    It brings about more joy, more love, more peace and you guessed it…..

REAL CHANGE.

  

Categories
Spiritual Health

The Art of SURREND’her & Your Health

Water Rapics_Final

“I am just so frustrated because I am doing everything right, but I’m not really seeing any changes to my body.”

This is a common quote from any one of my health coaching clients, or frankly, from my own mind from time to time.   I usually hear this type of remark about 2 weeks into developing new habits and rituals into the daily life of a woman attempting to get the body and level of fit that she desires. 

We think that getting the body we want, we will get the life we want.

We think by achieving optimal health, we will live comfortably.

We think that if we are uncomfortable or struggling in some way with our health, we’re doing something wrong.  That we must just need to try harder.

We grow impatient quickly.  We grow weary.

Some of us at this stage will just give up and say, “Well, it’s just not meant to be.  I’m just not meant to be fit.”

Others will start to take things into their own hands by beginning to “micromanage” their health.  Assuming the more control they have, the more they’ll see results and the less risk of getting to an “uncomfortable” place again.  They will start to rely on just themselves again.

For some reason, so many of us take God out of our goals for health.  We put God in the “Spirit” category of life.  He can come to church with me; He can help me find a new job and career; He can help me find a mate; He can help me repair my relationship with my (mom, grandpa, coworker etc.).

But our weight loss and eating habits?  “No, no, we need to do this on our own.  We can’t bother God with something so trivial!”

This is especially the case for those who don’t have much of a problem with their weight, but still have fitness goals.   They’re not fighting anything like obesity, diabetes, or cancer that would require more prayer.  But those who live in a pretty normal or healthy weight range but would still like to lose those few extra pounds will often leave God completely out of such category as fitness. 

What if I told you that your HEALTH, no matter how big or how small your health goal is ABSOLUTELY dependent on your relationship with God. 

In fact, your health, just like every other aspect of your life is a process to be SURRENDERED to God if it’s going to be a blessing to your life.

To Surrend’her means that you don’t give up, but you give UP.  You stop trying to steer the boat yourself, but you don’t abandon your boat either.  You stay in and you flow with God. 

My sister-in-law, Laura, and I were talking the other day about some visions that God had given her.  She said she kept picturing white water rafting, which is something she has never done before.

She said, “The beautiful thing about white water rafting is that in order to stay in the raft and handle the waves and rapids, you actually have to sit in the middle of the raft and not hold on to the sides or anything.  You just have to trust and relax your body as much as possible and let your body bounce with the raft as it hits the rocks and waves.  You have to surrender to it, just like we have to surrender to God.”

It was a beautiful analogy and I believe God was sending her a clear message that I was rewarded with too (as are all of you!). 

I see God as not only the raft that is taking you down your “river of life”, but I see God as the water itself, the rocks you hit, and the other underlying creatures below the surface causing your life to be quite the ride!  God is ALL of it and it all has purpose!

The key is, the more you surrender to the raft, the higher the rapids you can handle and the faster you can go.

Our bodies are so complex and our health goes so much deeper than what we can see in the mirror.    Our metabolic systems run just like the rushing white water rapids down a river.  They are constantly changing direction and moving according to the various hormone responses, food intake, weight, muscle mass, exercise exertion, water, vitamins and minerals and many more factors than that! 

There is NO WAY that you can completely control and manipulate your metabolism, just like there is NO WAY you can control a raging river.

In your health, there comes a point that you just have to sit in the middle of the raft and surrend’her to it all.   It takes an incredible amount of trust and faith to do this every day.

But, trusting the process of health IS trusting God.

Sarah Young in her book, Nearer to Jesus, reminds us “You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on (Jesus).”

Victorious life. Not “safe” life.  Not “always comfortable” life. Not even “successful” life. 

Victory in God means you have won the battle by giving up the sword.  You put your hope in the Lord and you trust the process he has put before you.  There is a process of nurturing and taking care of your health and your metabolism.  There are choices you can make at every meal of every day that will help keep all systems running as efficiently as possible.   

If you are struggling, seek the information you will need to learn about your body.  Once you have the information, start making the changes in your life and trust that it will all be for Good.  God can provide you resources for all. 

As you start to make changes to your health, you accept every stumble, every fall, every wave, and every rock as signs that you are indeed doing something right.  Because each stumble requires more and more dependence on God. 

This is what He wants from you.  He wants a relationship with you.  For you to bring ALL things to Him, even something as trivial as weight loss. 

For even in your discomfort, even in your failings and even in your shortcomings, you still have the Joy of the Lord when you keep Him by your side. 

You do not give up. 

But you sure do Surrend’her. 

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Finding Harmony Among Chaos | 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES

Wild flowers growing in a crack in a rock

My life tends to turn into “whirl wind” status within a blink of an eye! I’m sure you can relate in some way in your life too!

Over the last 3-weeks my life has be thwarted and thrusted into the chaos of big changes, including:

1.) I started this very blog, new website and new business LLC all requiring patience and drive to overcome my technology learning curve. In the end, I decided to use a godaddy website builder to try and make the whole process a bit easier for me. I’m not the best when it comes to technology and I have very little knowledge when it comes to building a website. The business was the most stressful part of these past few weeks. I have worked so hard to get it started and I wanted everything to be perfect. I quickly learnt that it probably wouldn’t be!

2.) My husband and I packed up most of our life to move into a new home in a brand new city also requiring big-time patience (as I am currently on day no. 3 of trying to get the darn internet, not to mention the endless shopping for beds, plates, and the essential nick-knacks and doodads.) After one of our friends told us about secured loans, we realized moving house could be easier than we first expected. We managed to sell our old house pretty quickly and then used the loan as our deposit. I’m so in love with our new home. It’s fabulous! Once we’ve finally settled in and have some spare time on our hands, we’re thinking about making it our mission to look for wireless alarms, as moving into a new house in a completely new city comes with the unknown. How safe is it? Do we have a possibility of getting burgled? These are all things that we don’t know, but if we have an alarm, a huge portion of that worry will be reduced. So, once everything else has been sorted, (whenever that will be), this should become our main focus.

3.) Smack dab in the middle of all these changes, we did whisk away to Hawaii, not just for the purpose of relaxation (although we did some of that) but so see my husbands 2.5 year old daughter, Eden, (who lives in Japan with her mom and stepdad most of the year). So, for 10 wonderful days we were thrust into the spinning vortex of toddler-life that, while exhilarating and drenched in deep love for her….. is also exhausting because she’s 2 1/2 and quite boisterous!

I am the first to admit, I am eternally blessed to get to experience such a roller coaster ride of life! You are eternally blessed (even when you don’t feel it!) for those crazy, manic experiences of your life too.

THE QUESTION IS:

How do we best handle our HEALTH when we are in chaotic times?

I gotta admit, even as a health coach, just 1-year ago, my health habits in stressful times were anything but healthy. In fact, my most common stressful habits included: excessively eating and drinking (alcohol) and overindulging, surviving on simple carbs alone, thinking I had to do everything myself and perfectly, not getting much sleep or rest and/or hardly taking a pause at all!

Might sound familiar?!

You see, at this time of my life, I was weighing all of my food, I was counting my macronutrients, and I was really focused on the details of my eating and working out (ie. Micromanaging my health). I was hyper focused on being “perfect” in my body’s health and severely relied on my routine!

While there is a time a place for some of us to really get down to the nitty gritty of what we are putting into our bodies (especially for the last few body fat percentages to your goal weight), the real win is if we can just stay CONSISTENT with our health and avoid the yo-yo of the scale!

But, for years at this “micromanagement stage,” when life got too chaotic for me to handle and I didn’t have my go-to daily routines in place, my whole health plan would fall apart at the mere mention on “away from home” or “vacation”. I then resorted to old habits and binge eating tendencies!

What resulted was massive swings of my weight AND mood. I could gain 5-10lbs EASILY in just 1 week. As I began to see and feel the weight gain, I would get a lot more stressed and more irritable and anxious too, affecting my mindset! At one point, I was that overwhelmed with my emotions and my negative thought-process, that I considered doing something about it. My friend, who has suffered from anxiety and stress in the past, said that CBD oil made a significant impact to her mindset, and improved how she looked at the world and the goals that she had. It sounded like a good idea, but I wanted to try and do this by myself.

This usually lead me to drastic cuts in calories and more stress to begin micromanaging my diet again. Usually cutting way back on my calories or carbohydrates, which lead to a major metabolic slow down! I found that every time I gained those 5-10 lbs, it got harder and harder to lose them again once the chaos slowed! It was frustrating, to say the least!

Not to mention, by making such drastic cuts in food, I was also cutting back my energy and ability to focus throughout the day. Which caused….you guessed it… even more stress!

A vicious cycle! (Blink if you can relate :-))

Alas, I’m happy to report that since I’ve refocused my health to what I call True Health (meaning it focuses on the body, mind AND soul altogether), I have just proven to myself that my new ways are having the EXACT OPPOSITE result as those old overindulging, micromanaging tendencies!

Not only did I NOT gain weight during these 3 weeks (I actually lost a few lbs), but I feel really energized still! I didn’t need a vacation after my vacation. And, I don’t need a vacation now that I’ve moved in! I still have energy to keep going! Which is KEY to sustaining this state of stress and change I am still enduring.

The best part is, it has been SO SIMPLE and just required me to focus on 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES to have such a wondrous affect.

God Bless It! I have found harmony among the chaos!

By just sticking to these 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES, I have never handled such stress so well! They are:

Intention #1– Stay STRONG’her– I chose just 1 habit to focus on for my body!

Intention #2– Stay WISE’her– I chose just 1 habit to refocus on mindset re: my body!

Intention #3– Stay SURREND’her(ed)– I chose just 1 habit to focus on my spiritual strength (and got some bonus love from God too!)

#1. STRONG’her Intention: I FOLLOWED MY 5-STEPS TO NUTRIENT BASED DIET

(If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, check out my Infographic HERE from my recent blog introducing my approach to the best way to start looking better AND feeling better).

The beautiful thing about following these simple 5-Steps to a Nutrient Based Diet is that it can be done ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE. I did it at the airport. I did it in the hotel. I did it at every restaurant. I did it in the midst of a move. IT CAN BE DONE! It requires NO food scale, NO calorie counting, and NO micromanaging!

In fact, check out some of the delicious AND nutrient-based meals I had in Hawaii!

(*BONUS- If you would like to see more of the nutrient-based meals I eat, follow me on twitter (@wrightfitinc) or Instagram (@a.wrightfit) where I will be posting them often with the hashtag #nutrientbaseddiet. Feel free to post your #nutrientbaseddiet meals too, tag me in your photos and I’ll re-tweet and re-gram you!)

As you can see, being on vacation or eating a nice meal out to eat does NOT mean I don’t equally focus on nutrient inclusion and diversity. Quite the contrary!

However, I DO still indulge some, because well….I’m on vacation! BUT my indulgences still fit into those 5-steps for a Nutrient Based Meal, which means, I indulge in moderation.

For example, if I wanted a glass of wine with dinner, I counted that as my carbohydrate source for that meal. If I wanted to try the house specialty of Coconut Crusted Shrimp, I sure did! But I only had 1-2 of them (for a good taste) and counted the fried part as my fat content for that meal. I would then have my vegetables steamed or salad with extra lite dressing to better balance the meal and not overdo the fat.

Also, if I knew that I was going to have a nice dinner at night, I might reserve a couple of my carbohydrate and fat servings from the meals earlier in the day so I could better enjoy the special meal at dinner!

The key was, even if I was treating myself in some way or enduring some stressful moments of chaos, I just made sure…

……. I still got my water

……..I still got my servings of green and colored vegetables &

……..I still got my protein

Keeping those core nutrient essentials helped fill up my stomach so I didn’t have room to overindulge on only the bad stuff!

2. WISE’her Intention: I FOCUSED ON MOVEMENT MORE THAN WORKOUTS

When I was feeling so stressed, the last thing I wanted to do was stress even more about working out (or not working out)! So, I let the workout opportunity come more organically than forced. There were a couple mornings that I felt like really getting in the gym and intentionally inducing some body stress for the sake of getting the endorphin rush and extra blood flow. It can definitely help with stress management!

But, on the days that a workout just couldn’t easily fit into my schedule, I didn’t sweat it (literally)! I was just more mindful of moving more on those days! With Eden, I was in the water much more with her and being silly playing (something all parents can do)! More recently as we’ve been moving, I was certainly getting a better workout by mindfully lifting the boxes, going up and down stairs with speed and “running the marathon of shopping” to find beds, plates, chairs, and all those other doodads needed to fill-up a home!

Stressing about working out does not serve your body nor does it create a healthy mindset! This happened to be something that would mentally disturb me previously, so it dramatically helped my mindset to intentionally step back from this self-pressure.

If you are similar, during tumultuous times, I encourage you to refocus your energy on movement! Then, when you have more time, get back in the gym. But when you don’t, just focus on the movement opportunities in front of you! There is an abundance!

3. SURREND’her Intention: I “CHECKED-IN” WITH MY SOUL DAILY

Sunday is not the only day to engage your spirit! I have learned that creating a daily habit of spiritually checking-in will infinitely increase my ability to handle whatever situation and stress I face that day!

For the last several months, I have created a daily habit of waking up in prayer (starting a morning prayer even before I open my eyes) even if it just acknowledging that God is God and that I have woken-up because He has allowed me to. Waking-up to Prayer first is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It sets the perspective of the entire day ahead of you!

I also have found great spiritual strength by the brief moments checking-in with my soul and God’s presence throughout the day. I do it intentionally when I read my daily devotional (via ebook for convenience of course) or get my daily Bible Verse pop-up reminder from the YouVersion bible app (even more convenient!). These things take just minutes of my day and can easily be done on the busiest of days!

To my delight, by doing the intentional habits, I find that these “check-ins” also happen unintentionally throughout the day too!. I start to see and recognize God in the places and faces of people around me. I saw Him in the eyes of my step daughter, Eden, when she would laugh. In the face of my husband, Howard, as he held her and again as we wept when we had to leave her. I felt God when I felt the warm sun on my face or saw the dozen beautiful sunsets in front of me. I saw God in my mom’s eternal patience as she was here helping us move in. I saw God daily when I looked in the mirror and didn’t hate the image staring back at me. God’s grace. It is ALL around us, it’s all about recognizing it!

My friends, if you are among the many who are STRESSED or going through some transition or changes in your life, you don’t have to give up on your health!

Find just 3 simple habits that you can focus on-one for your Body, one for your Mind, and one for your Soul and stick with those! You will find the balanced approach to your health, even in the midst of stress, will allow your body to maintain your true health in such wonderful ways.

Focusing on nutrients at every meal, movement and a daily spiritual “check-in” like I did, will work WONDERS on your ability to manage anything that is happening!

Should you fall off for one meal, one day, or several days, don’t panic! Let this email remind you of what you CAN do to empower yourself to handle things better at the next meal, the next day and the next several days to get you back to true health!

AND, with all of this, it bears a reminder. God loves you just as you are, flaws and all. Allow these stressful times to draw you nearer to Him and He will use it to help build more character within you and guide you closer to your Greater Purpose!

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Purging My Past | Moving Beyond The Person I Thought I “Should” Be

Purging My Past

I don’t think I’ve ever felt my body shake as much as it was at that very moment. I was having an ‘out-of-body’ experience to it’s highest degree. I was up on a stage, in front of hundreds of people including my closest friends and family wearing…….gulp…..a bikini about the size of a slice of bread.

How many of you have ever thought you needed to lose weight before you could be happy? How many thought you needed to lose weight before you would find a man to love you? How many have ever thought you needed to be a certain size to represent the woman you think you should be? Have bought certain clothes, styled your hair, and wore certain make-up to fit into that role? Have changed anything about your appearance in order to “dress the part” of the person you thought you should be?

Well, me, up on a stage, in some stripper high heals, wearing a bikini the size of a thumb nail, loaded with tons of make-up and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane is the ultimate version of me trying to “dress the part” of the person I thought I was supposed to be.

To literally set the stage, we need to back-up in time just a bit.

It was about 6-months prior to this moment, I was beginning to experience a significant shift in my life. I decided I was going to pursue my passion of being a nutritionist and personal trainer in addition to my regular full-time job. The opportunity had presented itself at my favorite gym (Bodies by Perseverance in Denver, CO) and it was all clicking into place, the way all good things tend to do. I felt God had led me to that very point and I was nervously anticipating the fun I was going to have seeking a vocation from this passion. I felt strongly that there was a purpose behind this passion.

Along with that feeling of purpose, however, it also evoked a lot of the long held fears of mine including body image issues, insecurities, feeling good enough, smart enough, likable enough…..I mean, enough!

We all deal with body image issues at some point. But it is important to remember that if there is something about your appearance that you would like to change, there are solutions out there to give your confidence a boost.

One of my friends who lives in chicago recently had a mommy makeover after visiting a plastic surgeon and has never felt better. Another friend of mine has recently had a breast augmentation procedure.

Just remember that if you do decide to get plastic surgery, then it is fundamental that you do your research to find a reputable surgeon that you know that you can trust. Not sure where to begin? Why not try doing some research into the best plastic surgeon denver has to offer? Life is all about finding what makes you happy after all.

There are a lot of plastic surgeons out there available for those who are interested in changing their bodies from New York City, NY to Louisville, KY. No matter where you decide to go or what you decide to do remember it’s up to you.

However, as for me, those fears I felt weren’t about IF I was going to move forward (I was committed!), it was more about HOW I was supposed to move forward. Unsure of what path I should take to be “successful.”

Should. It’s just a bad word.

But, instead of waiting and listening, I was off and running! Naturally I am a “DO-er” in life. If I commit to something, I’m ALL-IN and I follow through! Both a great character strength and flaw and you’ll see why.

After seeing dozens of fellow gym-mates, mentors and friends compete in body building competitions I decided that the best way to dive head first into the nutrition field would be to “test my body” on the diets necessary to get ultra lean.

However, not long after I had made my grand announcement and already had my plan in place, I had this nagging in my head. Something, or more accurately, someone, was telling me that I didn’t have to do this show to prove anything. I can still picture exactly where I was when I felt this voice from within. I know now this was the voice of God or what some may call my divine intuition.

The problem was that the FEAR in me shouted louder. As I said, since I’m a person who follows-through, I quite naturally was not about to quit, especially once I made the grand announcement.

Also, I felt enormous self-pressure to look the part of a trainer and nutritionist if I expected anyone to pay for my services. The health and fitness industry very clearly has a “look.” After all, as many clients will remind me, if you don’t look in shape yourself, how are you expected to sell your services? What does that say about your technique? I don’t disagree there.

But that pressure to “look the part” intensifies when you combine it with an already competitive personality and the repetitive FEAR in my head. I didn’t just want to look fit, I wanted to look the fittest. I was determining what “fit” meant by comparing myself to all the other trainers and health enthusiasts out there, which there are thousands of course.

Alas, I entered a bikini competition as a way to really push me to get to where I thought I should to go. It is no small undertaking. In addition to my full-time job, my gym teaching schedule, and my somewhat sad dating and social life, I was working out 2-3 hours per day, 6 days a week. Since my body does not naturally get very lean or lose weight, I had to take some more drastic cuts to certain food groups (ie. carbs) and spent over 5 months in training before I was ready. Going five-months on a strict diet without cheating one time is HARD.

But, I was very driven. I was fueled by this need to prove that I could do it. I was consumed thinking not about the present tense, but about the day of the show and how great I was going to feel in my new body. All the respect and business it would give me!

But that’s ALL I could think about. Forget hearing my intuition at that point. Forget being there for anyone else. I was completely submerged into myself and the show. That was it.

The day of the show, as the other 20 contestants and I all walked off the stage, all of the girls where exhaling and smiling from the nerves and the obvious “rush” of excitement they were feeling.

I was not feeling a rush of excitement. I was feeling morose, sad, lonely, and beyond uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t just because I was literally starving, although that would clearly cause a whole host of negative emotions. No, it was because I thought that this was going to be that peak of greatness, accomplishment and success I had set out to achieve. I finally looked the part!

Instead, I realized that the hill I thought I was climbing was more aptly a hole I was digging. Instead of going higher and higher to my Greater Purpose, I was actually going deeper and deeper away from it.

That is the thing about our Greater Purpose. It is not defined in the ways we think it is defined. We think of ourselves as these soldiers that have to go out and fight for what God wants us to do, but that is not necessarily right. I believe so often, the Good path means that we actually slow down. Listen to Him and check-in with Him. What He might be saying is to do nothing at all. Just BE.

The severe disappointment I felt was not because I didn’t “win” (I was thrilled with 5th place) or because I wasn’t proud of all the work I had done and the courage it took to get up on that stage. I felt all of those things.

No, the disappointment was because I had heard the voice beforehand and I knew better. I knew better than to think this was going to magically prove anything by getting up on that stage. I knew better than to think that by being “skinny” I would be happy! I certainly did not feel skinny at all and I certainly was NOT happy. Let me tell you, backstage at that show, I did not feel skinny. Even at 12% body fat, I felt huge compared to all the other girls there. That was a severe sign that I was not mentally healthy at all!

That was just it. I put so much attention on my outward appearance and “looking healthy” I endured an incredibly unhealthy mind and spirit. I felt horrible about myself and frankly embarrassed. Such that to be completely honest, I have struggled immensely with how to share this story. It causes some significant tinges of guilt for me.

But it must be shared because it is a very valuable part of my story. The lessons I learned from going so far in the WRONG direction were absolutely what I needed at this time.

Let me be very clear, the problem was not that I chose to do a bikini competition. I’m not knocking anyone who has done a competition or intends to do one. I have clients that I take through the process of preparing for a show as long as I know that they are doing it for the right reasons.

The reason WHY you do anything for your body is incredibly important in determining if you can meet a body goal without compromising your mind’s health and your spiritual health.

The problem for me was my WHY. Because my why ultimately came from a place of insecurity. And once you give into that insecurity, that insecurity grows. That’s how FEAR works.

So it meant that this competition and my training superseded everything in my life! It was the only thing I could think about, which meant I was worshiping it more than I was worshiping God. My body had become my idol.

I think most people can see that doing a competition such as this is an extreme exploitation of what it means to be “healthy.” But what if it’s not so obvious and extreme? What it you are compromising your mind and spiritual health in exchange for your body’s health without even knowing it?

There are so many ways that it has become very normal in society worry about our appearance. But the act of “worrying” about fitting-in is the very essence that drives us in FEAR and toward unhealthy goals. While yours might not be as extreme as a body building competition, it could be just as damaging mentally or spiritually. Something very subtle or not-so-subtle things like agonizing over the mirror about your looks; isolating yourself at home because you’re ashamed of how you look; skipping meals or building up eating disorders to cover up guilt; refusing to date until you lose 20lbs; diets, diet pills, and plastic surgery… etc! Our society is taking more and more extreme measures trying to be good enough and we are ignoring our own divine intuition on a daily basis!

By God’s grace, I thankfully came to realize the consequences of not listening to my divine intuition and how far that could take my mind away from a healthy mindset about my health. God took me by my Right hand and helped me navigate my way back to True Health. A journey I am still on and a journey I am called to share with you.

He was always ready for when I was ready.

Today, out of remembrance of this story that I hate to share, and in the interest of continuing to Purge My Past, I did something else that was very good for my mind and soul—I purged the past of my CLOSET!

I realized when looking at ALL the clothes I have, that I often times was shopping for this person that I thought I should be. I was shopping for a body that was not mine. I was also holding onto a lot of clothes that don’t fit me now (a lot of the ones that I was wearing when I was down to 12% body fat). Don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that I could find Black Friday promotions to lower the cost of clothes, but I wasn’t helping myself.

It struck me today, that while I’m purging this story up and trying to focus on my future walk, it would make sense to also purge ALL the ways I had tried to play the role of someone I wasn’t. As you can see by this massive pile of clothes, there was a lot of old ways of thinking and old versions of me that needed to go! I have never felt more free from the burden of being anything other than ME!

Pile of Clothes

It’s time to move beyond the person I thought I “should” be. It’s time to just be me.

JOURNALING QUESTIONS:

What are some of the ways that you tell yourself you have to play the role of a certain person in order to be happy or to be someone you think you should be?

Is there a feeling of divine intuition regarding your appearance that has been nagging at you but you’ve been ignoring? I encourage you to quiet your mind and heart and listen. Write down whatever you hear and if it comes to you, why you think you feel it? If you don’t know why, I encourage you to sit and wait for a while before you move. More will be revealed.

Find a way to purge your past today! Whether it’s throwing out old clothes, burning up old stories, or cutting ties to places or even people that don’t represent the person you ARE.

REFOCUS: Once you have taken the time to purge the past, I encourage you to then reframe your mind back to the present by focusing back on God’s love for you. You don’t need to live in the past of your regrets. Come back to the presence of God’s love.

“I don‘t have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way He Loves Me.”
Oh How He Loves Us, by

In Good Health,

Mandi

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

“I just want to fit into my skinny jeans” and other ways we fall short


One of my health coaching clients sent me an article she received from her gym in New York City.   Coincidentally, it was also an article about overcoming the urge to quit and she asked me what I thought about it.   A couple days ago,  I debuted my first blog also on ‘not quitting’ (which I purposely chose the positive affirmative of “Tips to Keep Climbing”).  If you didn’t see it,  check it out HERE!

This other article was written with the intention of  helping keep people from already giving up on their New Years resolutions, which as we all know is very common around this time of year!  Just 1-month in the New Year and a large population of people have already forgotten those new habits they were so determined to get right this year!  Like many in the Health and Fitness Community, this gym came up with a very concise and straight forward list of tips:

1. Remember the reason why you started
2. Speak Positive Truths
3. It’s Just A Valley  (ie. don’t quit from the challenge)
4. Play It Loud (get new music)
5. “They” expect you to quit (do it to show others they’re wrong)
6. Look at the ladies (or guys) for motivation
7. Eat Well (don’t cut too many calories)
8. Go To Bed (sleep)
9. Picture the New You (imagine your success)

They are all friendly reminders and with good intention behind it.   I am not bashing the intention of this article at all and on the surface, they are all great tips. 

But that seems to be my biggest issue with the way the Health and Fitness generation is trying to teach health.  Everywhere you look, you are given tip after tip after tip!  Often times, they are contradictory too and more confusing than anything. 

But the reason why I feel I am called to this platform writing and expressing my view of health and why God is calling me not only to write my truth but to also question the truths that I have long been accepting from “experts”.  My whole life I have been trying “harder” to follow ALL the tips at once, and feeling defeated when I couldn’t sustain any of them for very long.    

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into my health in my spirit and my mind that I was finally able to have real impact on my body’s health.  I believe that we as a society need to GO DEEPER in order to invoke any real change in the trajectory of our health both as individuals and as a nation.

We can see all around us that we have a health epidemic on our hands.  Our nation is sick, literally dying from health related causes.  Our kids, our elderly, our poor and our rich–it doesn’t escape anyone.   Our health has everything to do with much more than what’s on the surface too.   Ironically, there have never as many Diet and Fitness Experts in society as there are today too. Thousands of them out there that will give you a thousand different “Tips” on how to lose weight and meet your goals.  And YET, if you look around, all these “experts” aren’t really having any impact. 

To Me, most people will fit into one of three categories:

A. Yo-Yo Dieters— hopping on and off the health bandwagons in an “all or nothing” fashion  

B. Apathetic— that choose not to pursue their health and quit before we even start, seeing that the struggle is not worth the fight  or it’s just “how they’re built.”           

C. Extremists— The Uber fit, overdoing our goals to meet some unrealistic body image that doesn’t actually exist for long-term health. 

As I read the list from the New York City gym, I don’t disagree with any one of the tips.  But I also find the list to be very shallow in motivation and severely lacking in the DEPTH or any real CONVICTION behind it.

For example, if I were the old me and thinking about my New Year’s resolutions of years past, for Tip #1:  Remember the Reason Why You Started?, my answer would have been something like:

“I want to fit into my size 6 skinny jeans so I can feel confident and better about myself!”

And I would log hour after hour at the gym until I reached my goal!  Then, yes, as I slid on those size 6 skinny jeans I would feel really good about myself…….for about a week.  Maybe two. 

Then I would need another “motivation” or new “goal” to keep me going further otherwise I would just go back to drinking and binge eating and soon the skinny jeans wouldn’t fit so well any more. 

That is literally how I lived the majority of my life.  I was a “new goal” junkie, just creating more and more goals to get me “fitter” and “fitter.”  Never having actually felt fit at all.   Making small-time goals and reaching them, only to not feel as great about them as I thought I would.   Most of the time I actually felt disappointed by them!  Something was lacking.  There was no “Joy” in my success.  There was no real success!

The type of True Health and thus True Goals I am talking about are much deeper than this.  To make goals based on FAITH and not FEAR. To use GOD and not GUILT.   Tying our goals to our Greater Purpose makes the reason why we get-up-and-going to be a much deeper and much more life changing.    

My True Health Goals look something like this:

I want to feel loved, fit and good enough no matter what my jean size is.  I want to go to the gym and increase my strength and power so that I know if God calls on me to do something great, I will be physically strong enough to do it.  I want to be a shining example for my kids, my friends and  my family and I want to show them that anything is possible at any age.  And, I know I can do this because I know “I can do all thing through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)

Doesn’t my WHY resonate SO much deeper to SOULFUL level?  Doesn’t the above goal not just hit what I want for my Body, but also my Mind and my Sprit too?    Doesn’t it sound like the kind of life-changing conviction that will change my whole life and keep me motivated for longer?  Not just help me with some small-time skinny jeans goal for the New Year? 

So what if we turn that list into something with more DEPTH?  Take their great tips and just add some Greater Purpose thinking behind it?    

I think it would look something like this: 

1. Remember why God is calling you to be fit, how does it tie to your Greater Purpose?
2. You are able to speak positive truths because you are perfectly Loved
3. Valley’s are purposeful so you always must rely on God. Embrace the challenge and draw nearer to Him.
4. The Music Lives Within— No matter what beat you hear, the movement will come from within you.  Tap into that beat.
5. “Do Not Judge or You Too Will Be Judged” (Matt 7:1)- Think about ways you can support others in their goals and you will find that they will support you back.
6. Look to your soul for motivation and the men/women will come in the right time.
7. Eat Well to sustain your fuel for your Greater Purpose.
8. Find REAL rest to renew your body, mind and soul.
9. Picture Yourself Living Out your Greater Purpose!

Journal/Thought Provocation: 

What are some of the goals that you have made so far this year?  What are some ways you can re-frame those goals to serve your Greater Purpose?

If you are struggling with knowing what your Greater Purpose is, I invite you to sit and pray about it.  Even if an answer doesn’t come to you immediately, the act of listening will be rewarding for you soon enough.  What God might be telling you is that your Greater Purpose for right now is to do exactly what you are doing, but do it in a way that would bring honor to Him.  Do it with integrity, courage, faith and love.   Their is purpose in everything we do, so do it well and do it for Good.  

In Good Health,

Mandi