Categories
Health Coaching

#1 Way to Stay Consistent!

We have all heard the saying, when it comes to seeing success in a health plan, “Consistency is King.”

Is that ever true?! I’ve seen friends and clients lose weight on a wide variety of approaches: High carb and low carb diets; High fat and low fat; High cardio and no cardio; Heavy weight training and yoga; Paleo diet and Vegan diets, some have even lost weight through becoming very flexible via yoga and increasing their libido to burn extra calories.

How do they do it?! You think it’s “just genetics?”-WRONG. Reseach indicates that our genetics only account for about 5% of our metabolic rate (the rate of which we burn our calories for energy).

Well, studies now confirm that the best diet to lose weight, is simply the one you’ll stick to. That’s right! It’s CONSISTENCY.

From where I stand, I know that for TRUE HEALTH it is not just about being consistent in your diet and exercise (i.e. your BODY) to be healthy, you must also be consistently strengthening your MIND and SPIRIT too!

For example, we cannot “fix” all of our negative thoughts that lead to negative actions by just one good day of mindful and positive thinking. We need to CONSISTENTLY give to this practice and build this “mental” muscle up to garner true health in this area.

Also, our relationship with God and our Spiritual strength must be nourished and strengthened on a consistent basis to truly unlock our Spiritual Power. It is not enough to say a prayer one day, accepting God into our hearts, and then do NOTHING for the rest of our lives. Consistently building our relationship with God is the only way to become Spiritually Strong. Period. End of story.

Well, as we know full well, as humans we struggle with consistency. We grow impatient for results and we resort back to the old bad habits that offer immediate gratification but also weaken our body, minds and souls to the sin they may serve.

So, today, I wanted to offer you the somewhat obvious, but often overlooked, tool that will help you stay CONSISTENT the MOST!

The often overlooked valuable tool for staying CONSISTENT is:

—->ACCOUNTABILITY<-----

Accountability is that person, procedure, or tool that helps you build the habit of consistency.

I have implemented several effective tools that helped to hold me accountable to my goals and therefore stay CONSISTENT with them. Since I want to make sure I am finding my TRUE HEALTH, not just my body’s health, I have implemented effective strategies for my BODY, MIND and SOUL.

Here are my best ways that I hold my self ACCOUNTABLE to stay CONSISTENT in these areas!

1. Body:

  • -Food Logs (My Fitness Pal, Food Journal etc)
  • -Personal Trainers
  • -Workout Buddies (Group Fitness Friends)
  • -Nutritionists
  • -Goal Tracking Strategies

I have hired and used all of the above in some capacity for years and years. For exercise, I will say the most effective and motivating accountability components are those that involve a COMMUNITY. I love doing things with others. It makes me feel like I belong a little more, pushing me to be stronger, and allows me to give back to others by pushing them.

I also love when another person gives me a workout to do, this way I’m pushed to do more than if I were to try to do my own. It really works for me, even as a trainer myself.

For NUTRITION, which we know is a solid 75-80% of your weight loss success, this one is more self-reliant so I have to hold myself more accountable with some tracking tools. Now, I’ve gone through phases with tracking and counting calories.

Logging our food doesn’t always work to our benefits and can often cause psychological distress. But if I simultaneously implement strong MENTAL andSPIRITUAL practices to keep me grounded, I really value the feedback and accountability that tracking can offer.

MyFitnessPal is my go-to app, but I’ve also been a fan of implementing my own on Google Drive so that I can make notes on hunger, cravings, emotions and food feelings too. This gives me much more to analyze and see areas for progress.

2. MIND:

  • -Journaling
  • -Mentorship
  • -Classes/Education Courses
  • -Reading
  • -Counseling/Therapy

This year, for accountability in learning and gaining WISDOM for my health I have signed up for a course and mentorship. I am part of a 11-month group of women called the “Best of You” coaching club led by the Fitness and Mindset guru, Jill Coleman from Jillfit.com. She teaches and mentors about 50 of us women who have started or want to start a online business in Fitness industry.

Paying money for, and engaging in a learning “COMMUNITY” again is very powerful in its motivation and accountability! This program was pretty expensive but worth it. The fact that I have paid for this service also really makes me USE this service. Have you ever noticed that tendency?

In the same way, I have also sought years of therapy and counseling from Licensed Therapists that can help me tackle some of my mental blocks from my past and present that I can’t see myself. I book appointments to attend and pay money for people that can help me think better. There should be absolutely no shame EVER for seeking greater understanding of your mind and hiring those people that can help you do that!

3. SOUL

  • -Findinga a Home Church
  • -Bible Study/Small Group
  • -Prayer Partner
  • -Online Prayer Support Groups

This year, I went out on a limb and reached out to a fellow Christian girlfriend to see if she would want to be my Prayer Partner (or what we call Prayer Warriors ;-)). I am so glad that I did because this relationship has been SO POWERFUL in keeping me spiritually strong. Having a sister in Christ to pray with and share your hopes and fears and all the tremendous ways that God is impacting our lives is so incredibly rewarding and empowering.

Historically however, the most life changing Spiritual events have usually happened at church and in fellowship with a COMMUNITY again. So stepping out, and making time for your Spiritual growth by sharing it in community with others is part of how God works in our souls! I physically feel God the most when I am praying with or around others at church or other small gatherings.

“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:20

Well, while these options might seem like a giant check list of all the new accountability strategies you should now implement, I actually really just want to make things easier on you!

I privileged that I have an option that might just be your BEST SOLUTION to hold yourself accountable in ALL 3 areas: Mind, Body & Soul! –> It’s ME!

You see, I have been a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and nutritionist for years and (as you all know by now) have given up those wonderful careers in an effort to BE MORE for people and to help more in the REAL changes that need to occur for long-lasting weight loss to occur.

I love trainers and gyms and everything involved, but those accountability partners usually only cover those BODY goals. And while they might work to push us and strengthen us, it will come with a pretty expensive price tag ($75-$100/hour) and no guaranteed results! (Again, exercise is just 25% of the issue!)

So, embarking on VIRTUAL HEALTH COACHING venture was risky but has been WORTH IT for both myself and my clients!

I have become a TRIFECTA of Accountability Partners for these women and have pushed them all to gain strength in their BODYS, MINDS and SOULS all at once and am seeing some incredible results!

–Clients that were obsessive about their diets have been able to reign in their fear-based diet approach.
–Clients that were severely out of shape have found the exact steps to get back into shape.
–Clients that thought they needed to be overly restrictive and exercising all the time have found success on doing the least amount required and eating as much as possible!
–Clients that are ready to step out and do big bold things for their health, are conquering their dreams!

Up until now, my health coaching has just included these great services:

  • Weekly 30-60 minute phone call to connect and discuss their weekly goals.
  • A Self Empowered Guided Nutrition Plan
  • Lots of Personalized Strategies for goals
  • Daily Emails and Texts to Check In
  • ADD-On Option: Personalized Workouts

I have GREAT NEWS, right now, I’m offering all the same great services PLUS MORE all for about the same cost!!

Now, I have created a 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION Module Program that ensures you will LEARN what you need to learn in order to be successful in your health FOREVER.

Every 2-weeks, we will cover a very important topic that will educate you and get you thinking MORE about some important aspects of the BODY, MIND and SOUL that you MUST learn in order to achieve true strength.

I have chosen topics after carefully considering the most COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS and problems I’ve seen with clients as well as those most FREQUENT CONCERNS I have for MYSELF!

The 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION 6-Modules Include:

  1. SURREND’her Goal Development
  2. METABOLISM 101
  3. NUTRIENT-BASED Body
  4. EMPOW’hered TRAINING
  5. MIND MATTERS – (Patience, Comparing Yourself to Others, Addictions/Cravings etc.)
  6. SURREND’her to your WHY- Greater Purpose Week

So, here’s the deal, in order to be really effective as a Health Coach, I can’t have too many clients at once. It does not work to spread myself too thin. Therefore, I have to limit the number of clients I accept to this program.

Right now, I only have 3 Open Spots left available in my roster.

This will ensure that if you apply and are accepted for the 12-week transformation, you will get the best customer service care I can offer you and you can rest assured that I will be that accountability partner that you need!

I am offering FREE 20-Min phonecalls to anyone that wants to chat and see if we’re a “Wright Fit” for Virtual Coaching. Please email me at amanda@amandawrightfit.com to set that up!

Health Coaching with Amanda Wright

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Goal Development

5 Proven Tips to Not Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals

So here we are, Wednesday. Hummmmmmmp Day!

Hump Day

By now, if you’re like most of us trying to be “healthier” you’re on day #3 this week of being “back on track” because inevitably over the weekend, you botched your healthy eating intention by over-eating or over-drinking and vowed to start to be “good” again on Monday. #AmIRight?

This is a dieters mentality and it took me years to stop this “Working for the Weekend” mindset. This is part of what I set out to teach clients and any reader is the power of your MINDSET in helping you accomplish any goal since what you THINK determines what you DO.

If you goal is FAT LOSS for example, taking the whole weekend “off” of healthy eating and fitness is not an effective strategy.

If your goal is MAINTENANCE, this strategy is perfect because you do need several days per week devoted to maintaining.

Since I’m in the business of helping people with their health goals, which 100% of them include FAT LOSS, I wanted to shed some light on this subject of changing up our MINDSET about weekends so we can have more success in our Fat Loss efforts!

I coach many a frustrated client who will work so hard all week, eating well, working out hard for 5 SOLID DAYS and then completely reverse all their progress in just 1 or 2 days of going overboard. That was me for years and years too.

Weekends are HARD. We want to feel rewarded and relaxed which naturally invoke a desire for delicious food and libations, our go to “reward” systems! We also don’t have our go-to routines and some of our weekends get so jam-packed with kids and sports and our social obligations that we don’t have the plans in place that help us to keep on track. These are all valid and understandable!

So what do we do about this natural tendency we have with the weekends when we want to lose fat?

Do you have to be PERFECT on the weekend?! NO WAY.

Being overly restrictive will NOT work and is really NO FUN. Life is about balance and JOY. It’s about working SMARTER not HARDER.

But, there are ways you can simply STRATEGIZE your weekends better that will make a difference! If you’re finding it hard to strategize then you can always use a resource like play sport which helps you organize going to a sports event near you. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people that can help get you through your weekend slump! Plus, you don’t need to limit yourself to weekend use of it as you could use it to improve your weekday fitness too.

Similarly, a lot of people find that team sports encourage them to keep up their fitness. However, if you aren’t into sports like football or rugby, don’t worry. There are other sports, like airsoft, that don’t feel like exercise but still count. With a team sport, it’s vital to perform to the best of your ability because you’re all working together to win. To get into something like airsoft, it might be worth looking at these Airsoft Guns the largest range in the UK. That way, you can improve your fitness whilst making new friends.

At A.Wight Fit, one thing I specialize in is Goal Development and real life strategies to help clients get to their desired health goals and fat loss. I have found these steps as the top strategies I use and my clients have used to see more success!

Top 5 Proven Tips to NOT Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals:

#1 Proven Tip: Don’t overly deprive yourself all week:

hungry

If you are eating far too few calories and doing far too much exercise, you are naturally be inclined to binge eat on the weekend because you’ve been starving yourself! It’s the law of “Metabolic Compensation“. Our bodies are hormonally going to fight to keep you at the weight you’ve been adjusted to. After just 5 days of eating too few of calories and/or exercising too much, you’re hunger hormones are going to go crazy. Ideally, your food and exercise should stay consistent straight through the week.

How do adjust: If you think you might be pushing too hard or restricting yourself too much, change JUST ONE of those aspects at first-not both. Don’t try to overhaul your regime all at once, that will likely result in weight gain that will make you freak out and overcompensate to eating even less and exercising even more. The goal here is to take just 1 aspect of your health and make a 10% adjustment in a healthier direction. So if you are doing 5 hours of cardio a week, you are going to need to cut back on aerobic cardio to actually help your metabolism and fat loss. This means you just cut back in 10% of your time this week. The next week you’ll decide if you’ll cut back again (10%) or hold there for 1 more week, etc.

#2 Proven Tip: Treat Your Weekend As It’s Own Goal & Write it down:Written Goals

Your life likely looks quite different during the weekend as it does during the week so make different habit goals to accommodate the different routines. Focus on just your weekend for a while. Work with the systems you currently have to make those goal changes. With all goals, you have a higher chance of success when you write down exactly what your goals are and the habits you want to enforce to get you there.

How to adjust: Choose 1-2 new habits you want to enforce just for the weekend to improve in your health and stick to those for a month before adding on new goals. Focus on progress, not perfection.

For example, if you normally go to Sunday brunch and order pancakes and bacon, your first habit to adjust is just what you plan on ordering at the Sunday brunch. Make small adjustments every week–what I call “Mini Goals.”

Weekend #1 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and Eat 1 Pancake and 3 egg whites + 1 slice of bacon.

Weekend #2 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch Eat 1/2 Pancake, 3 egg whites + 1slice of bacon.

Weekend #3 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and eat 1-2 bites of pancake, vegetable omelette and 2 slices of bacon.

Progress is Progress!

#3 Proven Tip: Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day- Weekend and Holidays Included:

Alarm Clock

This combines two of the most effective fat loss strategies- being consistent + getting enough sleep. Waking up at the same time every day, no matter what day of the week it is, will eventually allow your body to adjust to the Circadian Rhythms necessary to allow for effective sleeping habits and getting enough sleep will also extend the amount of time you are in the prime fat loss zone (fasting + increased growth hormone etc). If you have been finding it difficult to sleep, you may need to look into a new mattress. Researching key phrases such as ‘mattress reviews australia‘ can help you pick the best one for your sleeping patterns. Alternatively, recent research on the medical use of marijuana has highlighted the positive effect it can have on sleep deprivation and insomnia. These tiny bongs offer a discrete way of finding natural sleep relief. If this isn’t your kind of thing, we have some advice on adjusting below.

How to adjust: Set Your Alarm Clock in the morning and plan the reason WHY you’re getting up early on the weekend. So if you get up at 6am M-F, you’ll want to get up by 630am on the weekends too. But to do that, you’ll need a reason to get out of bed. It’s a perfect excuse to go hit up the gym and get your workout over with. Or it’s a great way to get up go to a Cafe, do some reading, your devotional, or work on other Mind and Soul goals you have. Creating a whole new Ritual out of your early mornings on weekends will be a special treat unto itself!

If you are tired at first, it will take an adjustment. If you need to take an afternoon nap at first, that’s fine, just keep it to the 20-min cat nap that’s been proven as most effective.

#4 Proven Tip: Mentally Prepare for the Weekend Reward:

Prepare

As humans we all know we use food and drinks as a reward system. This is not a bad thing unless your food reward and drink awards get out of control. High fat, high sugar and excessive alcohol tend to be the greatest “reward” in our brains and can often turn into unstoppable eating binges. SO, preparing for the exact thing you crave and planning where and when you have it will help you to control the natural tendency to let it get out of control.

How to adjust: Think of 1-2 healthier food options that are similar enough to your old bad habits. So instead of red wine all weekend, you’ll drink sparkling water with a splash of cranberry and then 1 really good glass of wine that’s worth it for you with dinner on Saturday night.

Think of 1-2 non-food ways to reward yourself during the weekend too. So instead of your whole weekend planning from brunch, to BBQ to dinner (i.e. all food items) make sure you have a pedicure, group workout class, a walk in the park, a coffee date with a friend or something NON-food related that will add some fun to your life.

#5 Proven Tip: Add some SOUL to your Sundays:

Sunday

Making sure you take one day in the weekend to get Spiritually aligned will help remind you of your “WHY” you are getting healthy to begin with. While this practice should not merely be practiced 1-day a week, it is great to have a day dedicated to thanking God for our creation and the wonder of our health blessings we have. It is not about RELIGION, but about building your personal relationship with God and doing this in COMMUNITY has been proven the most successful practice. You learn by listening to others who have more mature Faith than us. But the right fit might take a while to find. It might not be a church, but other spiritual practices you do in community with others. Building this through the weekend is the best way to carry it out into the week as well. It sets your heart on the right path again.

How to Adjust: Commit to going to church, watching a sermon/program online with others, or even going on a Spiritual or Prayer walk or hike to get your Spiritual alignment. Pray for your health, for greater wisdom on your health and how you are to use your body and your health to fulfill God’s Greater Purpose in your life.

Try out 1-2 of these new tips this weekend and see if you feel a greater sense of REWARD by Monday morning!

Categories
Spiritual Health

Watershed Anniversary: Top 10-Lessons I’ve Learned Since June 1, 2013

I woke up on this day, June 1, exactly two years ago “ready” for a big day, but what actually came to be, would be far bigger than I ever imagined.

We all have these days, called Watershed moments, that change the course of our history.  This day is the anniversary for which my life has never been the same.

June 1, 2013, I did my first, and only, bikini competition.  But also the day that my then ex-boyfriend, now husband, Howard, came back into my life.    

Howard and I at Bikini

At the time, I had not seen Howard in about 18-months as he surprised me and showed up to my competition, flying in from California.  He had seen me in many shapes and forms over our 5-year history at that time, but he was surprised  that there was a lot MORE of me to see in that itty bitty bikini, but also a lot LESS of me to see as I was about 35-lbs lighter than when he and I had first started dating. 

As I have written about before, I was using the show in-part as an effort to teach myself the lessons in nutrition and fitness so I could be a better nutritionist and trainer.

  The other reason, and what I consider my “real” reason I took to such extreme measures to attain the “perfect body,” was to fill a void in my soul that had been caused from years of body image disorders. 

What I learned from this experience was that God is the only thing that can fill the gaps in our hearts and souls.  As happy as I thought I was going to be by getting such a “perfect” body, I was joyless, sad, lonely and ashamed.

While this experience has been truly significant in shaping who I am as a woman and now teacher of TRUE Health (in Body, Mind and Soul) I must admit that finding my love again, my Howard, would be the real reason to celebrate this day in my history.    

IMG_0575

My life as I knew it was going to drastically change from my single-girl, independent, successful life in Denver, CO to the love wrecked, whirlwind, jet-setting, never-a-dull-moment life I now live! 

Over these last two-years, I must admit that it has felt like huge juggernaut after juggernaut have been thrown in my way, all of which have been tremendous blessings but most certainly demanding quick adaptation, character development and growth—none of which are easy all the time.    

Being single, then bride, then wife and step-mom!
Being employed, then unemployed, then entrepreneur!
Being renter, then home-owner, then “interior designer” x 2!
Being new girl in one new city and then 14-months later being new girl in another new city.
Being healthy, then disabled with a back injury, then a new kind of healthy and strong!
Being in the leanest shape of my life, to back to the not-so-lean shape and being OK WITH THAT! 
Being a narrowly traveled woman then to a jet-setting, never home kind of woman.
Being ME then WE.    

I praise God that He has helped me to adapt as best as I can to a flip-flopped life.  I am woefully imperfect at some transitions and surprisingly adept at others.  I could not have done any of it without God in my heart guiding me along the way.   I have learned so much from Him! 

So, in honor of this marked personal anniversary,  I’d like to share the:

Top 10 Watershed Lessons I’ve Learned in the last 2-years!

  1. TRUST YOUR HEART:
    Howard and I had broken up at least 3 times in the 7-years it would take for us to walk down the aisle, so when he came back to me and told me I was the “One,”  I had plenty of cause for pause and contemplation.  But in the end, it was not about logic and what society would say about second (or third) chances, it was about what my heart said.  I prayed and prayed for several weeks and knew my heart was always his and that God had called us together.

    The same could be said from the experience of my bikini show.  I written once before how I knew in my heart this show was not what God was calling me to do, yet I did it any way.  I am so fortunate that God forgives us when we don’t listen and will find a way to bless and bring purpose from our mistakes.  Howard coming to my show would be part of that purpose. All the lessons I can teach others would be the other.

  2. YOU CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE, BUT GOD CAN:  People try to tell us that “people don’t change,” but that’s not true.  God changes people all the time.  I tried and tried to change my stubborn husband (full disclosure: I still do “try” sometimes…or all the time) all those years of dating, but in the end, he had to learn from within.  (Mental note to stop “trying”).

    The same can be said for me.  Howard loves me at any weight I come in (in fact the curvier the better in most ways!), but I was never trying to lose weight for him, or any man.  It was always because of a lie in my mind telling me I had to be more worthy.  God changed my heart to change my mind and allows me to see the beauty I am at all shapes and sizes.

  3. FORGIVENESS IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE GIVE OURSELVES:
    We all go through pains and do stupid things in our life.  Being able to forgive someone for a serious wrong they have done is a gift to them, certainly, but it is a gift to ourselves most.  To unburden our hearts of the pain and to restore your Faith that God will help you all find a way to make it right and well again will change your life. 

    In the same way, forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is a tremendous gift that will drastically change the course of our lives toward the path that God has chosen for us.

  4. MORE MONEY DOESN’T GIVE YOU MORE JOY, BUT GOD DOES:
    I am not ashamed to admit it, while I was perfectly successful and content on my own, I was looking forward to the travel and the house and excitement that being married to an extremely hard-working and accomplished man would provide as an added bonus to life.  But I would quickly learn, that just having worldly success and the blessing of “things” does not give you more JOY or peace.   

    My most joyful moments still come from those areas where God dwells most—those things money can’t buy.   In hearing my husbands laugh, being silly dancing with my step daughter, taking long walks holding hands, or talking with my mom or girlfriends on the phone.  My single most joyful feeling are those times where God’s love just fills my soul for no apparent reason.  The “stuff” is nice and is still a blessing, but certainly not what makes me truly HAPPY.  I am blessed to realize this.

  5. OUR MINDS GOVERN OUR BODY:
    What I think about most becomes my life or as Descartes said it,  “I think, therefore I am.” For most of my life, I would obsessively worry about my body and what I was eating, causing stress that caused me to over eat and then obsess even more.  This cycle would cause the yo-yo affect that would lead me down the bikini competition path way. 

    My thoughts also change the stress responses to my body for every day function.  Whatever we think about grows.  So if we focus on our problems, they grow.  If we focus on our blessings, they grow!   It impacts our BODY in every way:  how we walk, talk, work and love.

  6. OUR SOULS GOVERN OUR MINDS:
    I learned from a very poignant moment I realized that all of us suffer from LIES in our head that are not just mindset problems, but SPIRITUAL problems.   Learning that the devil preys on those very areas of our minds that are most susceptible is the number one strategy he uses to destroy our Faith and Happiness. 

    The same lesson was learned by my husband as there was a LIE he had perpetually repeated about how he was incapable of marriage that had to take years of counseling and deep soul work to re-wire in his thoughts.   We are blessed that we serve a God that sets us back on the Rock of Truth.

  7. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS:  All it takes is a solid two-years of traveling to realize it doesn’t matter the house (or hotel), but it matters where your heart is.  Building a “home” requires only the foundation in your heart and soul that you take with you wherever you are together.

  8. “Marriage is not designed to make us HAPPY, but to make us HOLY.”
    This quote was from my Pastor, Alan Kraft, of Christ Community Church in Greeley, Co.  I didn’t quite get it at the time but I am getting it now!  I have written before that my husband is my greatest teacher for me—he serves as a MIRROR to me and I am a MIRROR to him.  We love it when our mirrors properly reflect the love of God in our hearts.  But there are times where we see quite clearly that they reflect our flaws and selfish sin.  These are hard lessons.  But I praise God because I would never have seen these things without my husband.  For better or worse, he is making me the Holy woman God wants me to be and I am doing to same for him.

  9. PRAYER SAVES:
    My communication levels with God have never been so frequent and ongoing.  These rapid and great changes in my life can naturally evoke a lot of fear, but because I find constant relief as I give these fears over to God in prayer, I wind up praying much more now than I ever have.  He has given me comfort in tough trials, bravery to step out in Faith, a companion in the times of loneliness, and a place where I can praise and thank Him for his abundant blessings.

  10. YOU CAN’T MESS WITH A MAN’S FOOD:
    Funny that God should bring a “Nutrient-Based”, nutrition girl to become “One” with a Veggie-Hating man, but alas, here we are.  I learned VERY early on that trying to become my husbands “Health Coach” was not going to happen.  I struggle with this (eh hmm…A LOT) some times, mainly because my sin of obsessing about food for myself still discourages me.   But most of the time I just have to throw my hands up in the air and laugh.  I hear this from nearly all of my clients and happily married women I know….you just don’t go there.    

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Categories
Food & Nutrition Spiritual Health

RETOX?

Hey There!

I wanted to check in to see how that 10-Day #SpiritualDETOX plan was sitting with you?!  Have you decided to give it a shot?  Or are you still on the fence? 

For those of you that have already taken the plunge, GOOD FOR YOU!  (Virtual High Five!)  You might be hating my guts right now if you are feeling the natural “detox” responses (headache, lethargic, tired, moody) but if those symptoms have not already subsided, I promise you they will shortly!  Your body is going to feel soooo much better after 10-days!

BUT…

…for those of you that did NOT quite get a start of the DETOX yet, I wanted to chat on that.

I know how these “detoxes” and “cleanses” can hit people in a variety of ways.

A. They either seem really hard “Give up CAFFEINE for 10 WHOLE Days…..are you insane?!!”

coffee-addiction

B. Or you’re defeated before you even try.  “I don’t have the willpower to tackle all these things at once….so I might as well not even try….”

Overwhelmed

C. Or you’re interested but busy.   “It seems like a *great* idea, if I JUST had more time to plan for to do it.  Maybe I’ll start it June 1…..2016.”

Busy Girl

But the truth is, you are BIGGER THAN YOUR EXCUSES and this really can be done….RIGHT NOW.

God has been calling on you to be more of the woman he has formed you to be.  But so often our EXCUSES and justifications get in the way of truly living His way. 

So, it’s possible that the very first thing you actually need to DETOX is…..your EXCUSES!  😉

While I have all the love in the world for you, let’s take a moment and BE REAL here, ok?!

Let’s talk about you body—  Do your joints hurt?  Body pains?  Digestion issues?  Skin blemish issues?  Bad sleep?  Overweight?  Depressed?  Mood swings?

ALL of these things can be fixed with eating the proper foods.  Food is MEDICINE my friends!  You just have to make the choices to eat the right things and DETOX out the not so right things.

YES, it might hurt to detox out those chemical and food addictions, but the fact that you have a physical reaction to giving up a food is a clear indicator of how much it really affects your BRAIN.  We don’t want to suffer in this life from any worldly addiction. 

I made it through about 2-days of headaches and lethargy before my body finally started to feel a little more normal.  If you’ve been a long time caffeine addict, your headache might last a few days….but this too shall pass.  I promise!

What about emotionally—-Are you anxious? Food obsessed?  Worrying?  Stressed? Over analytical?  Self Obsessed?

All of these pop-up when we don’t seek consistent ways of growing our Faith and connecting with God.   

We might believe in God, but when it comes to really testing ourselves and living out our Faith, we tend to give it a bunch of “Yeah, buts…”

God Says:  “For (I) bought you with a high price. So you must honor (Me) with your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:20)

We Say: “Yeah, but, God I really need my coffee to make it through my busy day where SO many people are so demanding of me.”  —-> chemical addiction, excuses, shift blaming, busy-ness.

God Says: “ Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2)

We Say: “Yeah, but, God I always do Friday night wine night with my friends, they are going to give me such a hard time if I don’t. Plus, I need wine to help me relax and sleep.” —>food idolatry, people pleasing, alcohol dependency.

God Says: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)

We Say: “Yeah, but, what about me?  What about what I need? I asked you to bless me with happiness every day of my life?!” —->selfish tendency, lack of Faith, lack of perspective.

Trust me, I’m writing this reminder to myself just as much as I am writing this to you my friend.  I think there are times that we all need little tough love and a kick in the pants to start doing things for ourselves that we know we need to do, but we are swimming in excuses as to why we “can’t.”

  • God calls you to grow your Faith in Him by pushing through difficult times!

  • God calls you to take care of yourself as an act of gratitude for the body, mind and soul you’ve been blessed with!

  • God gives you responsibilities in this life and you must be diligent and willing to get uncomfortable in order to do them well.

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“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”  Hebrews 12: 11

5 ACTION STEPS:

1. BODY:

CHOOSE any of the food items you’re willing to give up for TODAY!  Then add on another day and another day as you can!  Get comfortable with getting uncomfortable!

(The more addicted you are to the item, the more you should pray and ask God to empower you in restraint!!  If you need to ease out of some of them, by all means, do what you can! But I encourage you to test your FAITH and see if God provides power that you did not know you had!)

2. MIND:

LIST out ALL your excuses you’ve been repeating to yourself as to why you “can’t” do something and start praying on those.  Ask God to give you wisdom and clarity of what you really CAN do instead of only focusing on the difficult things you think you “CAN’T”

3. SOUL:

PRAY through it.  Test your Faith and be willing to discipline yourself for the betterment of your body, mind and soul.  Give all your emotions, thoughts, and needs to God and He will come through for you!

EVERYTHING you do can be an act of worship, even such trivial things as 10-Day #SpritualDETOX.

4. SHARE:

You don’t have to try to do any part of this alone!  Share with me via email or share on my Facebook page and I will pray with you and endure this with you!  You are not alone in this and the more of us that connect and help each other push through, the easier it will be!

I can’t wait to hear how many of you are diving in!

5. CREATE:

Just because you are officially “Detoxing” does not mean you have to eat bland, terrible food!  There are a million ways to still enjoy some great tasting food that will be detoxifying!

Here’s the recipe for my #DETOX Blueberry Pancakes along with a video tutorial!! 

#SPIRITUALDETOX Blueberry Protein Pancakes

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 Cup Dairy-Free Plain Nonfat Yogurt
  • 2.5 T Coconut Flour
  • 1 T Arrowroot Starch
  • 1/4-1/3 Cup Liquid Egg Whites (3-4 egg whites)
    1 tsp Flax Seeds (or Chis, Hemp if preferred)
    1/4 cup Frozen Organic Blueberries

Directions:

Mix until a thick batter consistency

Cook stove top on Medium – Medium/High Heat

Cover with Lid (if available)

Flip after 3+ mins (until golden brown)

Top with Coconut Butter, Manna, Almond Butter or eat just plain!

Check out the video in my Video Tutorial Section HERE

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

10-Day #SpiritualDETOX

Do you ever wake up in your life and just feel OFF kilter? Your body feels off, which makes your mind feel off? And when both those are off you can bet your behind that your Spirit is affected too!

Well, continuing on what I call my #blessedlifetour2015, I have just returned from a 13-day trip traveling from where we live in Northern California down to San Diego, up to Los Angeles, back to San Diego, out to Munich, Germany, on to Paris, France and finally back home just last night!

I woke-up today feeling ALL KINDS OF OFF!

I want to first acknowledge some areas where I did really well this trip. As many of you may have read, I recently made some pretty deep changes to my WINE consumption and l am very proud to report that in the last 2 weeks, I only consumed 1.5 total glasses of wine which included only about 3 sips of wine the entire time I was in Europe! #ProgressisProgress

Now mind you, had I chosen to drink wine in Munich or Paris, it would have been great and probably worth it. But before I went on the trip, I made a deal with myself and my usual “vices” (which are sweets and alcohol). I decided I was going to give in to the sweets and desserts and just say no to the wine-o. These are just strategies I implement to help myself from going completely off the tracks!

But, what I didn’t have in wine, I definitely made up for in FOOD!

How about this….

German Apple Strudel, Augustiner Klosterwirt
German Apple Strudel

Or maybe even this….

Cafe Laduree legendary Macaroons
Cafe Laduree legendary Macaroons

Annnnnd let’s not forget these happened too…..

Euro Food

If I’m being really honest, some of my desserts didn’t even make it to “picture” status because I had already dove in head first before I had a chance to snap a photo!

Yeah…..I’d say sugar is my “drug of choice!”

I woke up every day with a sugar headache that I would attempt to nurse, along with my jet lag, with copious amounts of caffeine in coffee and tea. I was fully aware of this lose, lose situation I was putting myself in.

This combined with sleep being off, extra rich German and French foods, and 100% of my meals being either packaged goods I brought from home or delicious restaurant richness, I clearly overdid it over the last 2 weeks and my usually clean-eating body feels it!

So, as I do whenever I feel this OFF in my body, I engage in an intentional eating plan for a set amount of time to help myself DETOX some of the chemical addictions wrecking havoc on my bod. In this case I am going to do a 10-Day DETOX.

If you have never tried to rid yourself of your vices, I highly encourage you to give this a shot for 10-days! For most of my clients that do some form of body detox, they often don’t know how bad they feel until they rid themselves of some of the “crud” in their system and feel so amazing!

When you hear the word, DETOX, you might be thinking “Juice Fast” or some sort of extreme starvation strategy out of guilt I have for indulging while away. I know there are a lot of green juice mixes on the market, and my friends live for the ones made in Australia.

But that’s not at all what I mean when I say DETOX.

In fact, what I mean when I say DETOX is actually not only just about food or drink choices. No, no. I make my DETOX about ridding myself of things much more than just food and drinks. Yes, there are some people who find that having a detox can help them with a much needed cleanse. Some even take that extra step further and get a detox machine to help give them that much needed support. Doing research online could help you find the best detox for you, but for me it’s a little different.

Why? Because I know that the reason why my body feels so off is NOT just about the foods that I was putting into it. I know that so much of what I experience as I travel is related to much more than just my BODY, but it is also resorting the old bad habits from my MIND and my SOUL too.

So where many health professionals and holistic practitioners might only focus on what foods to eat and not eat, I am going to make it a 10-DAY SPIRITUAL DETOX to help ALL of those things that I lost as I was away-BODY, MIND and SOUL.

WHAT MAKES MY SPIRITUAL DETOX DIFFERENT THAN OTHER’S?

EASY = EFFECTIVE– I’m not about juicing your own juices or buying all the detox supplements in the world. Eat real food and become more body and mind aware through this 10-days and you’ll feel truly healthy!

BALANCED = BEAUTY-By detoxing out some of the unhealthy body, mind and spiritual habits I will unveil the true beauty within. Those detoxes that advocate just those food/drink/chemical (i.e BODY) related aspects might put a nice bandaid on the wound, but eventually when the 10-days are up, you’re back to bleeding just as you were before. By focusing on the mindset behind those bad habits and the depth of spiritual need beneath it all, you will find true beauty from wounds healing themselves.

FOOD = FUELED-I don’t do the all-liquid type of detoxes for a variety of reasons.
I believe in eating real food, not drastically changing your diet into an all liquid trend. I believe this will make it doable, more rewarding and less punishable all while being just as effective! To maintain your metabolism, you’re going to need to get right amount of protein, carbs and fats in an appropriate amount of calories. Cutting out entire food groups (and textures) will have an adverse consequence on your metabolism!

SPIRITUAL DETOX GUIDE!

BODY DON’TS:

  1. Chemical Stimulants: Caffeine
    Caffeine is the worlds largest chemical stimulant addiction we have. So many of us over consume the recommended amounts (which is 300mg of caffeine a day). Also, metabolically speaking, Caffeine can be a major hormone disruptor that can affect our ability to lose weight. It stimulates a release of Adrenalin and Cortisol (what’s referred to as our Fight or Flight responses) that cause our fat metabolism to slow way down. (Source: Dr. Jade and Keoni Teta, Metabolic Effect). Now, I promise I won’t make you give up Caffeine forever! Once you rid your body of the intense addiction, adding it back in before a workout will be helpful for your metabolism! Green tea is the best!
  2. Chemical Sedative: Alcohol
    Alcohol is high calorie sugar that has a whopping 7 calories per gram which are considered “empty” because of the lack of nutrients. In fact, it actually has “negative” nutrients because it steals Calcium and Magnesium and others from our bodies in order to digest it. Alcohol is another example of a metabolic shut down substance. According to Prevention Magazine, just 2 drinks will shut down our fat metabolism by 73% for the following 4 hours!
  3. Sugar (all forms including honey, raw forms, agave nectar , etc so check every label!)
    Another negative nutrient that steals from our bodies without giving back. Studies have shown that rats became addicted to Sugar much more than even Crack Cocaine! The main affect on sugar, besides the addictiveness, is the insulin surge that comes running in to our systems and then crashes a short time later. Research has shown that much slower forms of carbohydrates have a much more body friendly reaction.
  4. Artificial Sweeteners and Flavors
    These artificial sweeteners are just as addictive as the real stuff but have some horrible consequences if abused. Even if you don’t consume enough to cause the cancer that studies had shown it to cause, your body still may have a negative reaction by triggering an increase in hunger and cravings according to some studies. Also, according to other studies, it might also cause an inflammation response in your lower GI tract which can cause glucose intolerance and digestive issues.
  5. All Dairy:
    Dairy one of those foods that many people actually have a adverse reaction to and some form of intolerance of which they don’t know until they’ve gone without it! Some opinion indicates that adult bodies were not made to need milk like infants do, but it might more commonly be just from a gradual decline in the enzyme lactase that breaks down dairy sugar, lactose, that is the real issue. Give your GI tract a rest in dairy can see some very big changes. (TIP: Add in fortified almond mil or dairy free yogurt to make sure you are still getting your Calcium! )
  6. All Gluten (wheat, rye, barley, oats, spelt, kamut):
    While a true allergy to gluten is rare (called Celiac Disease) it seems as though gluten intolerance is much more common. While it might be due to the way that the grains are manufactured in America, it is often worth giving up gluten for a while to see if you start to feel less inflamed in the GI tract or joints. Since there are a variety of gluten free grain options out there, this should not be too hard to plan.

BODY DO’S:

  • Eat as many Veggies and Fruits as you want! Shoot for 10+ servings a day.
  • Eat whole, unprocessed foods when you’re hungry and stopping at about 80% full (usually about every 3-5 hours).
  • Eat protein, green vegetables, and colored vegetables at every meal. Add in healthy fats and whole carb sources for most meals too.
  • If you buy something from the store, check the label to make sure it has only real food ingredients and all things you can pronounce.
  • Drink lots of water, herbal tea (not green/white tea or even decaf coffee as they still have some caffeine), coconut water, kombucha (without sugar added), sparkling water (without artificial ingredients added).
  • Eat healthy carb sources like sweet potatoes, gluten free rolled oats, squash, carrots, corn, quinoa, brown/wild rice, beans, beets etc.
  • Eat healthy fat sources like avocado, coconut, olive oil, nuts, fresh nut butters, seeds, etc.

MIND & BODY:

Detox Out the Idolatry of Food: Food becomes an easy idol for us because it’s delicious and gives us immediate gratification senses to our brain. But even though it triggers a “reward” sensation in our brain, does not mean that we should always use it as a reward. In fact, the purpose of detoxing our overly food obsessed parts of ourselves is to rewire our brains to remind us of what a REAL REWARD HEALTH IS! There is no reward like having a healthy body, mind and Spiritual connection to God.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Luke 4:4, Deuteronomy 8:3)

ADD IN: Give this idol (along with all others) to God. Seek God first and you will have no choice but to place all things, including food, after Him. Using prayer, mindful eating and journaling about your meals is a great way to keep it all in perspective.

Detox Out the Busy-ness: So often we run around like chickens with our heads cut off just for the sake of feeling more “worthy” because we think “busy” equates to needed and in high-demand. Well not during this 10-days. We are going to slow it down and stop running so fast. Slowing down allows us to catch onto God’s timing…which is slow, patient and PERFECT.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:28-30 ESV

ADD IN: Cut down your TO-DO list. Pick only those top 3-5 things you have to get done in that day and do them first. Take breaks regularly, rest, go for walks, make time for God, make time for others, and SLOW DOWN. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that your life doesn’t fall apart and your stress levels will fall down too!

Detox Out the People Pleasing: Often times we worry so much about making health changes for ourselves because we don’t want to offend others or are afraid they won’t accept it. Well for 10-days we are going to be intentional about our actions and the motivation behind them. We won’t do things without first examining if this is what God is asking you to do. Are you doing things from a place of love and empowerment? Or are you just saying what others want too hear?

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 ESV

ADD IN: Filling yourself up with the love of God will give you His peace and power. Asking God with every step along the way to guide you and help you in your strength. From that space you will no longer seek ways of your insecurity and people pleasing, but you will seek ways to serve God. It will involve loving others, but respecting yourself first.

Detox Out Self-Serving tendencies: Even though this will be about getting our health in check, we know that a truly Spiritually healthy person is here not just to serve oneself, but to serve God and to serve others. This could also cover our sexual relations. There are many reasons that people have sex, but those who are healthy spiritually don’t have sex just for their own satisfaction.

“Don’t be concerned for your own good but for he good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:24 NLT

ADD IN: Write a note to someone every day, do random acts of kindness, plan to help a friend or coworker who is in need, do whatever you can do to make your life less self involved. You’ll find when you focus on serving and loving others, you won’t be focusing on your idols and food! As for the sex, add in Tantric sex; this is all about connection and reaching for a type of spiritual enlightenment which will help you to develop a deeper connection with your partner, enhancing your relationship no end.

SO, ARE YOU IN?

You might think this sounds too hard or painful, but I assure you, it is NOT as hard as continuing to live the high-stress, unhealthy, body-inflammed, soul-dampened, manner we are living now. Just 10-Days is all it takes to wake your body, mind and soul UP to a higher level! YOU WILL FEEL AMAZING! And, it’s only 10-Days. Give up your excuses and give UP your HEALTH. With God, all things are possible.

Here’ a cheat sheet that will break it all down for you! For a printable PDF, click HERE.
(Emails are taken just as a measure of counting downloads)

L

Categories
Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Two Most Powerful Words…

I am

I recently came across a beautiful quote that said, “I Am. The two most powerful words.  For what you put after them shapes your reality.”

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These words, “I Am” are incredibly powerful.  Their meaning has so pervasive into my soul that it has taken on truer depths of meaning as I have thought of them, heard them in passing, and have seen them in written form too.

For those that took part in my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development Program or have read my ebook on the 7-Steps HERE, know that I drew emphasis on the power of our words in Step # 4 Visualize & Affirm It!

In this step, I stress the importance of using verbal affirmations because of the power that our words have over our subconscious mind!  Since neuro scientists have revealed that our subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of our behavior, I argue that anything we can do to re-wire our subconscious minds in the direction we want to go is the best practice! 

While, I think far too many people, including myself, ‘forget’ that this has been proven, and instead tend to repeat the old phrases in our heads.  The lies that we’ve always believed.

Such was the case from the last blog I wrote the other day.  I was in a world of turmoil for reasons I could not quite determine and I was just spiritually exhausted.  In prayer, I called out to God and asked how I was supposed to manage all of my new roles and callings when “I Am so insecure.”

Those words, “I am” shaped that reality and were a main reason for my turmoil. 

They were another LIE from the devil planted in my head, for who knows how long, that had taken root and was causing destruction in my ability to move forward with my Greater Purpose and calling. 

Do I have remorse for saying those words?  Absolutely not.  Because by saying them to God, HE was able to set me right again and speak the truth into me. 

He told me,  “My Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just been believing the lie that you are insecure.”

God revealed to me what my truth is. 

“I am empowered.  I am strong.  I am standing.” 

BUT LET’S UNWRAP IT A BIT MORE…..

These words, “I am” will always remind me of God speaking to Moses in Exodus. 

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 3: 14)

For years and years, I have not been able to wrap my head around the sentence, “I AM has sent me to you.”

It has been a philosophical puzzle that I knew I was supposed to understand, but it wasn’t quite sinking to that depth yet….until one day.

Coincidentally, this was during a time where I was practicing the other part of the “Step #4 Visualize & Affirm It!” by doing a self visualization with my prayer.

There are times in my prayer that I get crystal clear on this woman that I picture myself to be.  My ‘future self’ that is living out her Greater Purpose and calling.  I imagine “her”, meaning me of course, in the course of a typical day. 

{This “her” is actually what I hope to inspire all women to focus on becoming and is the “her” I refer to in “STRONG’her, WISE’her and SURREND’her”}

For me, my visualization prayer takes me to this certain place. 

I visualize myself in 20+ years first in the outward appearance:  I visualize what I’m wearing, my body and shape, the type of chair I’m sitting in, the type of food Im snacking on etc. 

Then I visualize the feelings of this future version of myself: her aura and energy, the joy expressed in her face, the calm and peaceful way she talks— she is strong in grace. 

One day, as I was finishing up this visualization prayer, I began thanking God for this vision and for this future version of me.    

Instead of asking Him to guide me to be like her, I did the opposite, I thanked Him for already making it happen.  I am that confident that I will be this woman I envision, that I don’t actually have to ask God to become that woman anymore, I can start thanking God for what I already know will be. 

But as I started to thank Him, I found myself saying these words instead, “Thank you God for the woman that I will beco…(starting to say “become”), for the woman that “I AM.”

And that’s where it hit me.  “I AM”

There is no “future me”, there is just me.  It’s already been done.   Just like there is no future God…He’s already there too.

All the difficulties I will face between now and that woman I envision is already done.  The trials, the difficulties, the sorrows, the pains….already done and already solved.  The joy, the love, the peace and the grace are all already given to me at maximum levels too. 

I AM is now.   

I AM all of those things I dream of being one day, right now. 

The reason why this is true, is because God is in me and God IS ALL THESE THINGS. 

God does not live in space and time.  God is omnipotent. 

God is both the sorrow and the joy. 

God is both the pain and the peace.

He is ALL things because ALL things have their purpose, His Purpose. 

When I was crying on the ground and said the words, “I am insecure,”  God is that TOO.  God is the LIE only because He must be the LIE in order to be the TRUTH.   You cannot have the truth without also having the lie.

This is not to say that God is the cause of all of these things.  I recently heard a sermon by Pastor Rick Warren where He distinguished that our circumstances (including the bad times) can be caused by 4 different sources:

1. God
2. The Devil
3. Ourselves
4. Other People

So while we can sometimes determine if we’ve caused our own pain or if other people have, we often don’t know if our suffering is from God or the Devil. 

But the truth is that it doesn’t matter.  What matters is not the source of the PAIN, but rather how we are going to use it for our Greater Purpose.  Having a relationship with God means that we allow God to use all things to develop our Purpose and Character. 

The truth is, our times of trouble and the difficult times will have a far greater impact on us that the good and happy times.  The LIES we believe have their purpose in their pain.

So while I believe that the devil will continue to plant in my head the lies like, “I am insecure” that I will unknowingly believe for any course of time, I KNOW that God will give purpose and blessing to those lies.   

There is POWER in setting those lies straight.  There is POWER in discovering our TRUTH.

Jesus, who said, “I AM the way, the truth and the light” (John 14:6) will give us our TRUTH as long as we have ears that are open to hear it.

So I encourage you today, to stop, breathe and pray for greater awareness of who you really ARE.  Pray that all lies will be made true again. 

Shape the TRUTH of who you are by using the words, “I AM _______” and start repeating it to yourself every day, several times a day.  Shaping this TRUTH can be just another way that God will be revealed in you. 

“I AM sent me to you.” 

Categories
Spiritual Health

Confessions of an Unburdened Heart

Today, I would just like to share openly with you about some of my real and current struggles—not so that I use you, my beloved reader, as a way to vent my frustration and fears, but rather as a place where I can expose how God is rewiring my mind and soul in real time so that whatever struggle you might be facing right now  might make you feel like you are less alone.  So even if our struggles are not in the same category in life, we can connect in a sisterhood of Divine strength,  knowing that we are not the only ones in this very moment who are having a hard time unwrapping our beautiful hearts from the greedy hands of the devils destruction. 

I am experiencing one of those days that I just can’t stop crying. I am overcome.   But God is speaking to me and I just hope to share what He is telling me now. 

I pray that by unwrapping my heart, I might shine a light on your darkness too.

 Gods love can overwhelm me.  Experiencing a calling to the depth that I am experiencing can be so strong that it almost feels like a burden.

There are so many questions I cannot yet answer.  The mystery of, “What will happen?” builds-up like piles of stones trying to create a mountain blocking the path that God has laid out before me.

Every day, I am challenged to be bigger than my fear.  Every day I am challenged to choose God and choose Faith so that those stones of fear are bulldozed away and my path is made clear, again…..and again. 

I had naively thought that once I overcame my initial fear of starting this business and was willing to be obedient to this calling, that I would overpower all fear. 

I was wrong. 

I battle fears of failure every day.  I battle fears of caring too much about what other people think of me, every day.  I battle fears of unworthiness every. single. day. 

What’s crazy is this epiphany—–>  The closer I get to God, the more my fears can mount up.

It is very clear, that the devil can sense this intimacy I have with God, and he is not happy with it. 

My great Hope lies in this—–>the closer I get to God, the more I use His Power to knock down my fears.  I thank God that His Power is so great. 

The other wave of emotion that I feel is the weight of so many new ROLES all at once.  What I am experiencing through this life shift of SURREND’her is a convergence of many “callings” meeting together at the epicenter, which is my heart.

This should not be surprising, since as I have written several times, our “Calling” or our “Greater Purpose” is not limited to what we “do for a living.”  So while I will often relay that my “calling” is found in this business I have started, A.Wright Fit, the truth is my true Calling and my Greater Purpose is being molded from several roles all at once.  I know I am not alone in these roles.

For instance:

  • I am called to be Wife.  What an honor this role is.   Wow, is it hard.  Today, as I write this we are officially 7-months married.  Newlyweds ;-).  Borrowing the words of Gabrielle Bernstein as she too was speaking of her fiancé, (now husband),  “He is my greatest assignment and my greatest teacher.”  I moved away from my family and my home in Colorado, and found my new home in my husbands arms, wherever in the world they may be at the time, which is far more traveled than I had expected!
    What I feel so far about being married is that much of what is so difficult about it is that often times I feel as though Howard is really acting as a mirror, reflecting back to me my greatest flaws.  Looking at my flaws in a mirror is BY FAR one of my LEAST favorite activities.  But the lessons I receive daily are abundant and humbling.  Loving harder is a challenge I have not only accepted, but have committed to in the covenant of marriage.  It is all here for a reason and it can all bring me close to God.  But it is a daily choice.
       
  • I am called to be Mother.  As I took my vows to marry, I also took on this new role as step-mom or what they call me, which is simply “Mandi” or specifically, “Mani” for the little one.  This is a role no one can really prepare you for.  There are not the “What to Expect When You’re Not Technically Expecting” books out there, nor did I experience any warm-up to parenting that being pregnant  or raising a child from infancy can provide.  I was thrown into the game as a rookie with both a toddler and a college student.  As a step-mom, I think the greatest gift I have is just a natural sense in navigating the boundaries for all parties involved and growing in love every day.  But I must admit, the fear of overstepping the boundaries are always great and choosing the love is not automatic, which I have guilt even admitting.  I am grateful I have God who teaches me how to choose love.
  • I am called to be Sister.  I am a little sister in the literal sense (and I miss my siblings fervently), but my calling is also now to be a Sister in the Soulful sense.  Starting this business has very little to do with the actual products and programs I offer, and much more about how can I serve as a Sister in Christ.  How can I play a role in helping others find their own paths to health and their Greater Purpose.  How can I help others seek God’s great Power for their life?  It is navigating the terrain and finding the right paths to being in the “right place at the right time” that is challenging.  Connecting with my clients as their health coach and helping women, most of which I’ve never met, find a greater connection to their health and to God is an honor.  It is simply my hope that I might be able to expand in this role and be called to serve on a wider platform. I do not know what lies ahead.
  • I am called to be Child.  I am both the child of the greatest parents in the history of the world, including my mother-in-law, but also and more importantly, the child of God.  I realized I am still in the infancy stages of life in so many ways and I know I am just learning to walk.  Like children often do,  I am learning so much at once!    I realize I must learn first before I can teach—- so I must learn to walk before I can run.

So, as I mentioned in my opening, it is days like this that I feel very overcome by the greatness of these Callings converging on me all at once. 

So I have done the only thing I have left to do, I have asked God the real question on my heart.

“God, why would you give such enormous callings to a girl who has been plagued with such insecurity her whole life?  How can you expect this insecure girl to really manage a head-strong husband, being away from her family and security, the unknown role of step-mothering, the huge leap of faith to lead women as an entrepreneur all while still learning to “walk” as the Child of God?”

God has answered me. 

I was literally bowed down with my head on the ground in the middle of my kitchen and His words came came to me,

“Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just believed the lie that you are insecure.  I have given these things to you because you can handle them all, “not by works, but by Faith”.  “Put on the armor of God” and become the warrior I have called you to be.  Believe the lie no more and unburden your heart, “for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  You are worthy.”

He reminded me not to misjudge how I measure His love.  To not think that just because some people have found worldly success that they are somehow loved more than me.  He loves us all immeasurably and it cannot be compared.  We do not see the full picture of everyone’s heart and happiness. 

He reminded me that my burdens are not a sign that He does not love me either.  They are more of a sign that I am doing what is right and it is the devil who is afraid.  He reminded me that I can feel His love by his great protection and part of His love is shown in ways I cannot see. 

He reminded me not to miscalculate the size of His hands and Might of His Wings.  That His sovereign strength can bear all things.  That I can “take refuge under His mighty wings” and give Him ALL of my burdens, even those I’m ashamed to admit.  He can take them all and more. 

He reminded me that I’m not alone.

That I’m not insecure.

I am a warrior.

So, I stood up.  And here I shall STAND.

Below, are just some of the verses that came into my mind through my prayerful dialogue with God.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the power of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  (Ephesians 6: 11-13)

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2: 8-10)

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!  People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 36: 7)

Categories
Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

3 Ways to Put the PRO in Progress

So “Emily (Blunt)” is the character in my mind that plays the role of my Inner Critic. She’s the hard-driving, perfectionist seeking, real b-word in my head that likes to point out all my weaknesses and tell me how I’m failing at things.

Emily Blunt

I introduced her to you in my last blog that talked more about our recognizing our Inner Self Critics, why we have those voices in our head to begin with, and how to refocus our mind to the only thing that IS perfect in our life (those areas where God dwells). If you missed it, check it out HERE.

no-one-is-perfectIn today’s blog, I want to cover how to adjust your goals and expectations of PERFECTION to a new word that will have much more POWER and much more SUCCESS.

 

—>PROGRESS.

In spite of all this chitter chatter of the “Emily” trying to manipulate my thoughts, I have to say that I have been able to muzzle her voice from my head with greater and greater success in the last several months!

To quiet her barking in my mind, I’ve just had to utter one phrase inside my head and she shuts up.

 

“Progress is Progress.”

PROGRESS is the new PERFECT. And I have developed a true sense of empowerment and motivation in life when I look for and see the ways that I am PROGRESSING instead of only focusing on the ways that I’m not yet perfect.

But you might be wondering – How do I make progress? In order to make progress, you must be proactive in reaching your goals. For example, if you want to lose some of your body fat, you know that what you’re doing currently isn’t working so you need to change something in order to see the progress you want. This could be something as simple as Googling “is DIY cryolipolysis effective” and taking steps to implement it, or it could be as major as totally changing your diet. It doesn’t matter what it is – your goals will be met no matter how slow you go.

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As we all know, I am a big-time believer in writing and setting goals (hence why I wrote an ebook on the 7-Steps To SURREND’hered Goal Development which you can download free right HERE).

Often times however, it is in these very goals that I have so diligently planned out that I start to hear more of “Emily” in my head trying to measure me up to my perfectionist areas.

Let’s take one small, silly example to illustrate:

I made a small goal to be able to improve my time in running the 1.5 mile jog that I try to do as a warm-up in my workouts. Now mind you, there is no real reason why I think I need to improve my time in this effort nor any magic in running 1.5 miles, but it really is just a distance that I thought was a good amount of time and I like to created the mini goal to just push me a little harder!

So, anyway, this week, I was able to do the run 3x in my workouts. BUT, I wasn’t able to improve my time in the last run that I did this week because I was feeling a bit more sore and needed to go slower to start.

You all probably understand that this is really not a big deal. Not life or death. But the EMILY in me, wants to really put me down about it. She wanted me to push through the soreness and just “work harder” and “go faster.”

But, I shut her up. Why? Because….

Progress is Progress.

The fact is that I did this run 3x this week whereas last week I only did it 1x! So I made PROGRESS!!

The progress is what I need to focus on, not the “lack.”

While this kind of example illustrates a small disappointment I experienced this week and may not seem like too big of a deal on it’s own, the truth is our small disappointments build-up over time and can destroy our resolve.

If I let my mind continue to be unnecessarily disappointed in myself for the small stuff, it’s for sure going to be majorly affected for the big stuff. I have to rewire my thinking in small ways if I want to prepare myself to do the same in BIG ways. 1168669_1434345690110125_1841626081_n

Progress doesn’t have to be measured results either! Progress might be that you have mentally shifted away from past destructive behavior. That you are being more gracious, loving, and gentle with yourself. That too is making progress and should be acknowledged!

Let’s take another, more serious example:

Say you want to lose a fairly significant amount of weight (20-30lbs) and you know how hard it is to lose fat when you drink alcohol, but you have a real taste for wine and drink a glass or two 3x per week.

But because you want and need to lose this weight so bad, you set out to give up your wine for 30 days.

One week in, you have an especially stressful day and everything seems to have gone wrong and before you know it, that bottle of wine is opened and you’ve finished it off! Ugh!

So here you are, set-up with a prime opportunity for your own Self Critic to lay into you about how you blew it and probably some bit about how you’re never going to be able to do this and it’s too hard and you might as well quit!

AmIRight??

Luckily for us, we have this new slap in the face to offer our dear Self Critic. We say to her…

“Progress is Progress“!

Because the reality is, you used to drink 3x/week, and then this week you only drank 1x/week!

That, is the proper focus and that is the reality of how changes happen!

REAL, long lasting change usually happens step-by-step, not mile by mile.

REAL, long lasting change modifies your current bad habits just enough to make them better habits.

REAL, long lasting change is gradual and purposeful, not sweeping and bipolar.

THE REAL WAY YOU MAKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN YOUR LIFE IS TO FOCUS ON MAKING PROGRESS!

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Want to improve in this? I have you covered in just 3 steps!

3 Ways to Put the PRO is PROGRESS:

1. PRO-gram your MIND:

You must learn to mentally shift your mind away from your disappointment in yourself or thinking you’ve “failed” at something and instead see the PROGRESS you’ve made. The easiest way to do this is to verbally (or mentally) affirm it! Anytime you hear your Inner Critic barking at you from within, stop yourself and say “Progress is Progress” and look for the way that you did make progress in your effort.

Repeating things like sayings and affirmations actually reprograms your subconscious mind to believe what you are saying. The more often you say something, the more it becomes true for you and the more you start to live it.

2. PRO-fess the next PROgression:

Once you have acknowledged and recognized the progress you’ve made so far, you want to PRO-fess and decide what the next step or “mini goal” of progress is going to be! There is no time table or pressure to always do more and more, but it also is good to keep progressing! We must always keep learning!

We can and should feel great about only drinking 1x per week when we used to drink 3x per week, but we don’t want to stop short of our real goal and real capability either! We don’t want to be complacent with our efforts and fool ourselves into thinking our half-hearted attempts are “good enough” especially when we know we CAN do more.

So take a minute to mentally, verbally, or in writing decide your next level of progress you wish to make in this goal. Give yourself a *realistic* deadline to make it really stick!

3. PRO-vide the Example for others!

As you start to put less pressure on yourself to be “perfect” you will find that you can start putting less pressure on others to be perfect too. PRO-viding the example for them by acknowledging their progress will be a service you can provide to others that will also come back to you.

After all, you don’t want to be one of those people’s that gives yourself Grace but holds others to some standard of perfection they can’t reach!

 

Overall, I view my relationship with my Self Critic, “Emily Blunt” in my head as a pretty great thing. Recnognizing her comments now, almost laughing at how ridiculous and obsessive she sounds, and taking steps toward God and toward a life seeking PROGRESS in becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her and live SURREND’hered is truly what makes me EMPOW’hered.

 

Here’s to us, with the crazies in our head! Moving on….

 

 

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

Motherhood Woes and Why Emily Blunt sucks…

Happy belated Mother’s Day to all Mothers, Step Mothers and Adopted Mothers and Grandmothers out there, too. I am blessed to witness some really incredible mom’s in my world.   As I reached out to my Mom, Grandmother, Mother-in-Law, sisters, mother to my step daughter Eden, as well as all the friends I have that are also mothers, I wanted to be sure I fully expressed how much I love them, how in awe of them I am, and how great I think they are doing as a mom because I know, as a mom, you never think you are really doing “good enough.”

Mothers-Day-Cards-2

Indeed, from some of these moms, I did get an almost expected reply back to my praise and adoration, saying, “I fail a lot, but thank you!”

It’s such an honest response to how I know most mom’s feel.

I certainly feel like I “fail” a lot as a Step Mom and have intense feelings of guilt trying plague my mind and thoughts.  It can feel defeating.

But, what does that word even mean? FAIL.

To me, this word doesn’t signify an indication of merely the result of an effort made, but is more of an indication of what the goal was to begin with!

If you have ever felt you have FAILED at something, it is likely because your GOAL in this particular area was to be PERFECT.

There are just certain areas of our life where we strive for PERFECTION.

Perfectionism has fooled our minds into thinking that:

  1. There is such thing as perfection;

  2. That we actually have ability to be perfect;

  3. Anything short of perfection is failure.

But, what we may not realize is having a mindset geared toward PERFECTION is a design from God Himself.

“I have planted a longing for perfection in every human heart. This is a good desire, which I alone can fulfill.” —Sarah Young, Nearer to Jesus

But what goes wrong, is we try to fill our hearts with things that are imperfect (hint: anything that is not God is imperfect, so yes, even your children are an example of this). Those areas then become our IDOLS and we suffer more because of it. We burden ourselves with expectations that can never be met and our mindsets suffer from our inner Self Critic pointing out every “failure” along the way.

But there is a way to beat this!  There is a way to feel successful,  full and complete!

 In this 2-Part Blog Series We’re Going to TACKLE this issue of our Mind:

Part 1: Expose our perfectionist thinking by identifying the Self Critic in your Mind

Part 2: Offer the Alternative Goal that will allow for more God, more Grace, and more “Success” (HINT: the key word is PROGRESS).

 

  1. OUR SELF CRITIC SABOTEUR!

WHAT IS OUR SELF CRITIC?

Our inner Self Critic is that voice in our head that is always nagging on us and criticizing us.   It is the voice in our head that tells us we are not “good enough.”

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For simplicity sake, let’s be clear there are 3 facts about our Inner Self Critic:

  1. Our Self Critic is NOT the voice of God telling you you’re not good enough.
  2. Our Self Critic is NOT the “real us” even though it’s a voice that sounds like us.  
  3. Our Self Critic IS a scheme of the Devil himself.

The devil can be so good and so smart that he might have you convinced that this voice in your head is “just the way you are” or it is God who is ashamed of you, but that is simply not the truth.

Being aware of these facts is a source of empowerment.

Discerning this Self Critic voice from God’s voice and your TRUE self is the awareness that you need in order to move beyond the limitations it tries to set upon you.

 CHARACTERIZING OUR SELF CRITIC?

I was first introduced to the term “Self Critic” from the book, Playing Big, by Tara Mohr.

She says, “All women grapple with this voice of self-doubt in one way or another.  For some women, it is most prominent around their professional lives.  For others, it comes up around their sense of competence as mothers or partners.  For others, it speaks mostly about appearance, body image or aging.”

Preach, Tara, preach!

There she invited me to think of my Self Critic in some character format so I might see her as someone other than me. I loved the idea and encourage you to do the same!

I named my self critic “Emily” after the character played by Emily Blunt in the movie The Devil Wears Prada. She’s the “popular girl” type who thinks that no one is ever good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or skinny enough.  Yeah, she sucks.  (Not the real Emily Blunt, but the character she plays in my head.)

Emily Blunt

 

For some of you, your self critic is going to be an older woman/man of authority that barks down orders. For others, your inner self critic might actually take on the character of your mom or dad or another family member that you have historically never felt “good enough” for.

Whatever the voice is, it’s important to recognize it so you can distinguish it.  You can then learn to live with it (because it may never go away) but also ignore it because you recognize this voice for what it is.

Recognize the common phrases your self critic might use. Tara Mohr says our self critics will often speak in extreme phrases so you’re either “awesome” or “pathetic”.  It’s usually harsh, mean and rude. Fear based and mischievous.  Tells you you’re “not ready yet” to embark on a dream.  Irrational, persistent, and seemingly like a “broken record” that just plays and plays.

I know personally, I recognize my self critic when I walk by a mirror and I hear “Ugh.” It may take a while to fully acknowledge, but it’s really important to start to recognize the character and cues that our Self Critics will use.

 THE AREAS OF FOCUS FOR OUR SELF CRITIC:

Our self critic (i.e. the devil) is incredibly smart and knows to prey on those very areas of our mind and hearts that are the most susceptible to sabotage. Our very weakest weaknesses.

In fact, once you think about it, your Self Critic seems to expand in areas on your life that you fall most prey to idolatry. Those areas that you have a tendency to put ahead of God.

Allow me to humbly admit the 3 top ares of my own demise and idolatry:

 First in my RELATIONSHIPS, “Emily” likes to keep me worrying about what everyone is always thinking of me and keeps putting pressure on me to be a “perfect” wife, “perfect” friend, “perfect” step mom, “perfect” health coach and all that.

Then in my WORK, “Emily” has been especially hard driving on me lately to get more done and do everything all at once to make sure that my new business will succeed. She’s been basically yelling into my head with a megaphone on this one.

Then in my HEALTH, “Emily” has been historically a real b-word. She has yelled at me in my head to workout longer, eat more strict, and especially focused on my body’s flaws and how I just must not be “working hard enough” to see quicker changes!

perfection_doesn__t_exist_by_sireysi-d4y8za3I fully admit that in all the three areas, I wake up every day putting unrealistic pressures on myself to strive for a level of perfection that doesn’t exist.

Every. Day.

 But, my power is is recognizing this voice and ignoring it.

THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR SELF CRITIC:

The other day I was listening to a Rick Warren podcast called “Daily Hope” (one I highly recommend for anyone looking for “quickie” Spiritual guidance!) where he mentioned that the antidote to FEAR is to FOCUS ON THE PRESENCE OF GOD.

That same focus applies to this Self Critic since the truth about these “perfectionist” thoughts is FEAR as well.

Transitioning our focus to the one thing that IS PERFECT is the perfect way to overcome this Self Critic voice from the devil.

Recognizing our weaknesses and imperfections and offering them up to God is the only way we can be made perfect in Him.

 “But he said to me, ‘My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”   2 Corinthians 12:9

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 We DO have the opportunity for perfection, but it is only found where God dwells in us. So if we seek God and connect with God, we find that perfection we long for.

The Devil will continue to try to tear that away and you will struggle every day, in many different ways, to keep that connection to Christ, but God knows that.

God knows that you have a heart that desires perfection, He created that so you would seek HIM more. This means not once, not twice, not 100 times, but every day, several times a day, you must seek God and find the fulfillment you need.

The more you practice this, the more God will relieve your worrisome mind and rest your fears that you are not “good enough” at motherhood, health, or whatever areas your tend to fret.

This awareness, has been incredibly powerful for me. I have been able to use this GodPower source and He has given me a new word and a new GOAL to strive for.

PROGRESS!

Part II of this series will cover how you too can transition your areas of “Perfectionist” thinking in your pursuits for health and use instead a goal of PROGRESS to keep you motivated and find success and satisfaction!

I-Love-Me

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

4 Ways to Handle Unsupportive Friends When You’re Trying to Be Healthy!

Naysayers

The other day, I was on my weekly call with one of my clients and she had just experienced a lunch outing that I was very familiar with. 

Now, my client has made a lot of progress over the course of the last 6-12 months.  Having turned 40, something has been sparked inside her and she has been in hot pursuit of her health and her life!  She has lost over 27 lbs and has sparked a passion for strength training and fitness that she has never felt before!  In fact, 2 months ago, she hired me to help her achieve a big dream of possibly doing a Bikini Competition or a Fitness Photoshoot. 

In other words, she has just pushed the “GO” button on pursuing a dream that is out of her comfort zone!  It’s big, bold and audacious, and she is doing it a SMART way by hiring someone like me to make sure she is staying balanced, level-headed and doesn’t lose herself in a quest for a fit body.  We have seen incredible progress so far!  She’s a shining example!

However, with such audacious goals she and I both know that she has to be very consistent and mindful of her nutrition.  In any Fat Loss effort, your NUTRITION is ~75% of the solution!  She already trains about 4x/week and works out HARD, but if her nutrition is not on point, there is little hope that her metabolism will spark up enough to continue to lose enough body fat to reach her goals.

Well, this week she experienced an outing with some of her coworkers that I have experienced dozens of times before—what I’ll call the “Girls Who Lunch Conundrum.”  

They all went to the standard restaurant chain, ordered a fried appetizer, sandwiches and fries, and I’m guessing diet sodas too.  My client declined on eating the appetizer and ordered a chicken salad with dressing on the side. I am so proud!

Well, as you can imagine that she got quite of bit of slack for being the “only healthy one” at the table.   They made jokes and little snippy comments and really bummed her out.   I’ll call this reaction the “naysayer” reaction.  

Naysayers

She came to me on our call feeling a little defeated.  She said, “I’m just trying to be healthy for myself and they try to make me feel guilty about it.  I’m not judging them for their food choices at all, I’m just not choosing not to eat them.  I don’t see why they are judging me for my food choices.”

You can imagine how she feels right?!  I mean, haven’t we all been there?  I know that I have felt this exact same way with not only acquaintance type of friends (the coworker variety) but also with some of my closest friends, and family members. This is exactly what I discussed on my 5-Part Series called WINE NOT?!  too.  The social implications of being healthy can be the hardest!

Being healthy can sometimes make you feel like you are on an island all alone. Not only are you battling the urge blow off your new healthy food and exercise habits, but you are now also battling some of your closest friends and family who are not exactly supporting you!

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What I learned over the years of being the “healthy one” at the restaurant has allowed a shift in perspective and spiritual awareness that has made a monumental difference in how I handle the snippy little comments from people or simply any friend or family member that just doesn’t “get it” with regards to my health choices.

I shared these lessons with my client on our call and I am sharing them with you today too!

4 Ways to Handle Your Unsupportive Friends:

1. You can Empathize with Their Defensiveness:

Before you started to make all these tough health choices for yourself, you knew just what it was like to be in their shoes.  You can remember all those times that you used food as a coping mechanism for your own stress and can empathize with the fact that they are feeling insecure and defeated by their own choices. 

Empathy

In the situation for my client, all of her coworkers were professional women that had small children at home.  So they worked all day and had families to care for at night and all had some weight to lose.   I reminded her how they must be feeling on the inside.  Their stress is likely so high that they saw the fried appetizer and the sandwich and french fries as their best solution to cope with that stress.  They see their food choices as their “reward” for their hard work.  All too common and we can all relate.      

Now mind you, they are wrong.   Those food choices are actually making their stress worse in many ways because they are getting way too much fat (especially trans fats) and not nearly enough nutrients which would help their bodies physically deal with the cortisol and adrenaline (e.g. the stress hormones) much better.   

But I simply reminded my client that they just haven’t learned that lesson for themselves yet.   She is lucky that she has!

The same goes for all of us. If we can detach from our reactions for a beat and simply take the perspective of their journey and understand that their reaction is not about you at all, but rather is  a symptom of their own struggle, then you are able to detach and move on.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

How Others Treat You

Empathy takes away their power and ability to change you.  Empathy gives you a stronger mindset that will stop the event from festering in your mind and consume any part of your energy.    Empathy allows you to move on unfazed. 

2. You Can Realize that God Didn’t Design You to be Defensive Either:

This one is a big one and a more challenging one to grasp but really important.  It is all too easy to use someone’s defensive behavior as an excuse to react defensively ourselves. 

We all do it:

Someone criticizes you and in return you criticize them.

Someone questions your actions or beliefs and you immediately want to question their actions and beliefs right back.

We must all realize that this is our own sin that will not serve us or our Greater Purpose. 

I was reminded in a book I read recently called “Good News for Those Trying Harder,” by Pastor Alan Kraft that some of the most overlooked sins in our lives are the following:

  • Gossiping
  • Complaining
  • Criticizing
  • Boasting
  • Shifting Blame
  • Defensiveness
  • Deceiving Others

The author challenged me to try to go 1-week without doing any of the above. 

…I lasted about 20-minutes. Ha! 

So often, we think just because we are doing something good for ourselves that we now have the right to judge others for not catching on with us yet.  

This is called being “Self Righteous.” 

To me, this is the number one sin that many Christian people have today.  That we can get caught up thinking  just because we are “Christian” that we are some how “better than” or “above” everyone else. We don’t realize that this very thinking is a sin itself! 

Now, I could clearly get into a theological tangent here, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say, all of us must hold ourselves accountable for our reactions and stop worrying about theirs.

If we want them to stop being defensive with us, we first just learn to not react defensively either. 

If we want them to support us, we better be sure that we are already supporting them!

God did not design us to react this way and we must recognize our own sin and focus on bettering ourselves first!

“Let ye among you without sin be the first do condemn.”

First Stone

3. You Can Give More Love Because You Have Love:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is very few relationships are actually 50/50.

If you find yourself being the one that always seems to give more effort in your relationships, this can often harbor feelings of resentment within you. 

But for those that find the courage and ability to SURREND’her your life up to God, means that you can experience a fulfillment of love on unprecedented levels.

By opening up your soul to the love of God to fill you up causes a massive shift in all of your relationships. 

You realize, you depend less on other people’s love, affirmation and validation because you have more than enough of all of that from God. 

This is also the case for our friends and family that don’t understand or criticize our health and behavior.   

We can love them back, even in their criticism, because we have enough love to give.  We don’t have to depend on their praise or affirmation.  We have all we need from God.

Cup Overflows

4. You can be a Student and a Teacher:

I have come to understand that my friends, family members and acquaintances in my life come to me with a purpose—-I can both learn and teach!

Be A Student:  By opening yourself up to the empathy and understanding from lesson #1 you learn so much!  This creates a better version of you!  Always strive to gain wisdom and understanding in this world and realize these circumstances and people are the tools that will give you that.

Be a Teacher:  Now this is not to say that you need to tell all your friends exactly what they need to be doing.  Umm….no!  That will probably get the opposite reaction than the one you hope for! 

Instead, you teach them by doing. 

So whether my client or her coworkers realized it right then too, she was serving as a valuable teacher for them.  She showed them that it is possible to stare something like fried asparagus in the face and not eat it.  It is possible to order healthy foods at typically unhealthy places.  It is possible to create big, audacious goals and to actually stick to them and conquer them!

As Mahatma Gandhi said,  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

Be the change

My personal and mission for A.Wright Fit is found from Matthew 5:16.  I want to “Let my Light  Shine Before Others so that They May See (My) Good Deeds and Glorify my Father in Heaven.”

Matt 5-16

I encourage us all to continue to be the best versions of ourselves so that we can shine a light on others to be the best version of themselves!