Tag: Health

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Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health

{July 4th} 4 Keys to Living F.R.E.E. in True Health

4 KEYS TO LIVING F.R.E.E. In TRUE HEALTH

It’s a little ironic, but I will celebrating this 4th of July across the pond on the “losing” side of the Revolutionary War keeping my eye out for any Red Coats in action. They clearly aren’t celebrating this war the same way we do.  Would it be too much to sport a American Flag t-shirt that read #winner??  🙂

But as we celebrate our Nations FREEDOM with a bunch more F’s (Family, Friends, Food and Fireworks!), I can’t help but wonder how many of us are truly living the “Big F” of FREE these days?

Now, I know the good ol’ USA likes to define “Freedom” by the terms of our State and Federal Rights.  As we saw just last week, we can rely on these “laws” to protect and uphold us and can become unreasonably attached to idea that the great laws of our nation can actually force people to be “saved”.  

But, when I speak about True Freedom, I am referencing our original freedom gifted to us by God upon the creation of mankind in the Garden of Eden.  It is there that we were given the freedom of choice, and it is there that the first humans screwed it up—and we have been screwing it up ever since!    

It is the freedom of CHOICE within our SOUL that matters the most, not the rules that we might follow in our worldly life.

So no “Federal law,”  no “Religious law,” heck no “Dietary law” that people want to place on us will actually get to the heart of the matter and make us good.  Our goodness is a spiritual choice—-a FREEDOM. 

If we choose to accept God in our heart, we receive His great empowerment to make better choices that will lead to greater blessings.  But we are never going to be perfect and we are never going to be sinless, no matter what laws we try earnestly to follow.

When it comes to our HEALTH, what I see in myself as well as when I work with the women through my years of training and now with my SURREND’hered Health Transformation health coaching is that many of us think we are FREE but actually are still prisoners of our own making. 

I know for sure for me, public enemy #1 when it comes to my True Health (meaning healthy Body, Mind AND Soul) is——> ME.   In all likelihood, public enemy #1 when it comes to your health is YOU. 

So when I’m talking about becoming FREE I mean setting myself FREE from ME. 

We become prisoners of self-doubt, body shame and unworthiness.  Prisoners of emotional eating, lethargy, and lazyness.  Prisoners of food/substance addictions, food obsession, and self-comparison.  Prisoners of FEAR.   

While some of us feel the weight and exhaustion of being imprisoned by these negative thoughts and emotions and continue to unsuccessfully willpower our way out,  there are also some of us don’t actually realize we are in prison! 

That’s when it’s really scary.  When the negative emotions of worry, fear and obsession have become such close companions that we have no desire to set ourselves FREE because it feels like we would be losing a part of ourself.

SO HOW DO SET OURSELVES FREE?

Much to our own dismay, our freedom from ourselves doesn’t come from “trying harder” or the willpower we’ve been trying to muster our entire life. We can’t actually “earn” our freedom to live a life in True Health.  We can’t count calories, macronutrients or “diet” our way to True Health.  It. Won’t. Last.

The only path to True Health is by first creating a strong, healthy Spirit.  We cannot get strong in Spirit until we invite He who IS power, God, to live in our Spirit.  We cannot “earn” God into our heart by following Religious rules either.  We simply must SURREND’her our life, including our health, to Him and He will hand us the key to the Freedom from our self imprisonment. 

It sounds incredibly simple as I type it out, and in a lot of ways it is much simpler than we make it out to be, but the truth is, even a life-long-church-goer has not *gotten* it for 99% of my life. 

It has been only recently that I started putting into practice the art of SURREND’her and living for True Health. While I’m still a work in progress and will never be perfect (reminder to self!), I am grateful that as I reflect on all that I have learned, I can share with you….

4 KEYS TO LIVING F.R.E.E. IN YOUR HEALTH:

F:  Faith

The ability to SURREND’her your health to God takes Great Faith.  I have been so used to relying on “experts” and “research” and every diet book known to man for what I “should” be doing.  When I finally started reaching out to God for my answers,  I realized I had to unlearn a lot of things.  This was not easy. 

It took a great amount of Faith to walk away from practices I was so attached to and even today,  still find great temptation to resort back to, even though I have completely proven to myself that these methods of “health” don’t work.

But because I have Faith I have this ability to Refocus my attention from my Body to my Greater Purpose and to the will that God has for my life.  In Faith, I am capable of Freeing myself from the burdens of negative assumptions and can walk in the Light of Life with God.   

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Photo Cred: @Martinadashi instragram

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9

R:  Radical Acceptance

This one I’m still working through but so much of my freedom to live in True Health has come from practicing radically accepting my body and who I am. 

This means accepting my body shape.  It means accepting the fact that I’m naturally endomorphic and will gain weight very fast.  It means accepting the fact that certain foods and too much alcohol just won’t work for my body and I can’t consume them very often.  Accepting the responsiblity to take care of my body but not seeing my body as the “end goal” but as the means to BE the person I am called to BE.   I’ve had to accept my body as the vessel it is to be used to serve and glorify God.

It’s about being CONTENT which is not permission to be lazy, overindulge in the moment, or to stop trying.  Being content is an active, healthy state.  It is simply embracing and accepting myself in every stage knowing that every moment in this life presents an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to connect with God and serve my Greater Purpose. 

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PhotoCred: @andrewjgolesch Instagram

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things thought Him who strengthens me.”  Phil 4:11-13

E:  Energy

I do not have always a choice in the energy that surrounds me all the time, but I do have a choice in the energy that I put out into the world.  Exercising my True Health Freedom means that I make a choice in the energy that I want to share with the world.   As the Spirit Junkie author, Gabrielle Bernstein, wrote on a recent article, “Vibes Speak Louder Than Words.”   

We can all attest that there is a distinct energy difference between love and loathe; between encouragement and envy; between elegance and arrogance. 

The energy I bring to a room emanates from my heart outward.  I either share with the world the LIGHT energy that comes from being Free or I share the DARK energy that comes from my cell of self imprisonment. 

I have found that I create this positive energy by eating the best foods for my body, eating enough food for my body, NOT being overly restrictive, exercising/moving my body every week and getting the necessary rest and sleep for my body.   These choices in my health give me the Freedom to showcase the energy of self love for my body and my True Health. 

E:  Every. Single. Day.

The last key that I have to use to remain Free in my True Health is to remember that every day counts. I have this choice every day to be a woman of True Health, relying on God’s power OR a woman of True HELLth (see what I did there? ;-)) relying on the power of self.

So, by living in FREEDOM, and choosing to live in the Light of God, I dare to be great.  I dare to  transform my life and live out my True Health by becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her and live SURREND’hered to God. 

It is not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

So, this weekend as you celebrate the FREEDOM of living in the land of opportunity, may you also take a moment to pause and give thanks for the FREEDOM of choice that are given as humans.  May you not take this FREEDOM for granted and choose instead to make the choices in your life and in your health to live in the LIGHT of God–living a life of FREEDOM in your True Health

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PhotoCred: @scottborrero Instagram

“Surrender your heart to God, turn to Him in prayer and give up your sins—even those you do in secret.  Then you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.”  Job 11:13-18 CEV

Categories
Health Coaching

#1 Way to Stay Consistent!

We have all heard the saying, when it comes to seeing success in a health plan, “Consistency is King.”

Is that ever true?! I’ve seen friends and clients lose weight on a wide variety of approaches: High carb and low carb diets; High fat and low fat; High cardio and no cardio; Heavy weight training and yoga; Paleo diet and Vegan diets, some have even lost weight through becoming very flexible via yoga and increasing their libido to burn extra calories.

How do they do it?! You think it’s “just genetics?”-WRONG. Reseach indicates that our genetics only account for about 5% of our metabolic rate (the rate of which we burn our calories for energy).

Well, studies now confirm that the best diet to lose weight, is simply the one you’ll stick to. That’s right! It’s CONSISTENCY.

From where I stand, I know that for TRUE HEALTH it is not just about being consistent in your diet and exercise (i.e. your BODY) to be healthy, you must also be consistently strengthening your MIND and SPIRIT too!

For example, we cannot “fix” all of our negative thoughts that lead to negative actions by just one good day of mindful and positive thinking. We need to CONSISTENTLY give to this practice and build this “mental” muscle up to garner true health in this area.

Also, our relationship with God and our Spiritual strength must be nourished and strengthened on a consistent basis to truly unlock our Spiritual Power. It is not enough to say a prayer one day, accepting God into our hearts, and then do NOTHING for the rest of our lives. Consistently building our relationship with God is the only way to become Spiritually Strong. Period. End of story.

Well, as we know full well, as humans we struggle with consistency. We grow impatient for results and we resort back to the old bad habits that offer immediate gratification but also weaken our body, minds and souls to the sin they may serve.

So, today, I wanted to offer you the somewhat obvious, but often overlooked, tool that will help you stay CONSISTENT the MOST!

The often overlooked valuable tool for staying CONSISTENT is:

—->ACCOUNTABILITY<-----

Accountability is that person, procedure, or tool that helps you build the habit of consistency.

I have implemented several effective tools that helped to hold me accountable to my goals and therefore stay CONSISTENT with them. Since I want to make sure I am finding my TRUE HEALTH, not just my body’s health, I have implemented effective strategies for my BODY, MIND and SOUL.

Here are my best ways that I hold my self ACCOUNTABLE to stay CONSISTENT in these areas!

1. Body:

  • -Food Logs (My Fitness Pal, Food Journal etc)
  • -Personal Trainers
  • -Workout Buddies (Group Fitness Friends)
  • -Nutritionists
  • -Goal Tracking Strategies

I have hired and used all of the above in some capacity for years and years. For exercise, I will say the most effective and motivating accountability components are those that involve a COMMUNITY. I love doing things with others. It makes me feel like I belong a little more, pushing me to be stronger, and allows me to give back to others by pushing them.

I also love when another person gives me a workout to do, this way I’m pushed to do more than if I were to try to do my own. It really works for me, even as a trainer myself.

For NUTRITION, which we know is a solid 75-80% of your weight loss success, this one is more self-reliant so I have to hold myself more accountable with some tracking tools. Now, I’ve gone through phases with tracking and counting calories.

Logging our food doesn’t always work to our benefits and can often cause psychological distress. But if I simultaneously implement strong MENTAL andSPIRITUAL practices to keep me grounded, I really value the feedback and accountability that tracking can offer.

MyFitnessPal is my go-to app, but I’ve also been a fan of implementing my own on Google Drive so that I can make notes on hunger, cravings, emotions and food feelings too. This gives me much more to analyze and see areas for progress.

2. MIND:

  • -Journaling
  • -Mentorship
  • -Classes/Education Courses
  • -Reading
  • -Counseling/Therapy

This year, for accountability in learning and gaining WISDOM for my health I have signed up for a course and mentorship. I am part of a 11-month group of women called the “Best of You” coaching club led by the Fitness and Mindset guru, Jill Coleman from Jillfit.com. She teaches and mentors about 50 of us women who have started or want to start a online business in Fitness industry.

Paying money for, and engaging in a learning “COMMUNITY” again is very powerful in its motivation and accountability! This program was pretty expensive but worth it. The fact that I have paid for this service also really makes me USE this service. Have you ever noticed that tendency?

In the same way, I have also sought years of therapy and counseling from Licensed Therapists that can help me tackle some of my mental blocks from my past and present that I can’t see myself. I book appointments to attend and pay money for people that can help me think better. There should be absolutely no shame EVER for seeking greater understanding of your mind and hiring those people that can help you do that!

3. SOUL

  • -Findinga a Home Church
  • -Bible Study/Small Group
  • -Prayer Partner
  • -Online Prayer Support Groups

This year, I went out on a limb and reached out to a fellow Christian girlfriend to see if she would want to be my Prayer Partner (or what we call Prayer Warriors ;-)). I am so glad that I did because this relationship has been SO POWERFUL in keeping me spiritually strong. Having a sister in Christ to pray with and share your hopes and fears and all the tremendous ways that God is impacting our lives is so incredibly rewarding and empowering.

Historically however, the most life changing Spiritual events have usually happened at church and in fellowship with a COMMUNITY again. So stepping out, and making time for your Spiritual growth by sharing it in community with others is part of how God works in our souls! I physically feel God the most when I am praying with or around others at church or other small gatherings.

“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:20

Well, while these options might seem like a giant check list of all the new accountability strategies you should now implement, I actually really just want to make things easier on you!

I privileged that I have an option that might just be your BEST SOLUTION to hold yourself accountable in ALL 3 areas: Mind, Body & Soul! –> It’s ME!

You see, I have been a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and nutritionist for years and (as you all know by now) have given up those wonderful careers in an effort to BE MORE for people and to help more in the REAL changes that need to occur for long-lasting weight loss to occur.

I love trainers and gyms and everything involved, but those accountability partners usually only cover those BODY goals. And while they might work to push us and strengthen us, it will come with a pretty expensive price tag ($75-$100/hour) and no guaranteed results! (Again, exercise is just 25% of the issue!)

So, embarking on VIRTUAL HEALTH COACHING venture was risky but has been WORTH IT for both myself and my clients!

I have become a TRIFECTA of Accountability Partners for these women and have pushed them all to gain strength in their BODYS, MINDS and SOULS all at once and am seeing some incredible results!

–Clients that were obsessive about their diets have been able to reign in their fear-based diet approach.
–Clients that were severely out of shape have found the exact steps to get back into shape.
–Clients that thought they needed to be overly restrictive and exercising all the time have found success on doing the least amount required and eating as much as possible!
–Clients that are ready to step out and do big bold things for their health, are conquering their dreams!

Up until now, my health coaching has just included these great services:

  • Weekly 30-60 minute phone call to connect and discuss their weekly goals.
  • A Self Empowered Guided Nutrition Plan
  • Lots of Personalized Strategies for goals
  • Daily Emails and Texts to Check In
  • ADD-On Option: Personalized Workouts

I have GREAT NEWS, right now, I’m offering all the same great services PLUS MORE all for about the same cost!!

Now, I have created a 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION Module Program that ensures you will LEARN what you need to learn in order to be successful in your health FOREVER.

Every 2-weeks, we will cover a very important topic that will educate you and get you thinking MORE about some important aspects of the BODY, MIND and SOUL that you MUST learn in order to achieve true strength.

I have chosen topics after carefully considering the most COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS and problems I’ve seen with clients as well as those most FREQUENT CONCERNS I have for MYSELF!

The 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION 6-Modules Include:

  1. SURREND’her Goal Development
  2. METABOLISM 101
  3. NUTRIENT-BASED Body
  4. EMPOW’hered TRAINING
  5. MIND MATTERS – (Patience, Comparing Yourself to Others, Addictions/Cravings etc.)
  6. SURREND’her to your WHY- Greater Purpose Week

So, here’s the deal, in order to be really effective as a Health Coach, I can’t have too many clients at once. It does not work to spread myself too thin. Therefore, I have to limit the number of clients I accept to this program.

Right now, I only have 3 Open Spots left available in my roster.

This will ensure that if you apply and are accepted for the 12-week transformation, you will get the best customer service care I can offer you and you can rest assured that I will be that accountability partner that you need!

I am offering FREE 20-Min phonecalls to anyone that wants to chat and see if we’re a “Wright Fit” for Virtual Coaching. Please email me at amanda@amandawrightfit.com to set that up!

Health Coaching with Amanda Wright

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Goal Development

5 Proven Tips to Not Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals

So here we are, Wednesday. Hummmmmmmp Day!

Hump Day

By now, if you’re like most of us trying to be “healthier” you’re on day #3 this week of being “back on track” because inevitably over the weekend, you botched your healthy eating intention by over-eating or over-drinking and vowed to start to be “good” again on Monday. #AmIRight?

This is a dieters mentality and it took me years to stop this “Working for the Weekend” mindset. This is part of what I set out to teach clients and any reader is the power of your MINDSET in helping you accomplish any goal since what you THINK determines what you DO.

If you goal is FAT LOSS for example, taking the whole weekend “off” of healthy eating and fitness is not an effective strategy.

If your goal is MAINTENANCE, this strategy is perfect because you do need several days per week devoted to maintaining.

Since I’m in the business of helping people with their health goals, which 100% of them include FAT LOSS, I wanted to shed some light on this subject of changing up our MINDSET about weekends so we can have more success in our Fat Loss efforts!

I coach many a frustrated client who will work so hard all week, eating well, working out hard for 5 SOLID DAYS and then completely reverse all their progress in just 1 or 2 days of going overboard. That was me for years and years too.

Weekends are HARD. We want to feel rewarded and relaxed which naturally invoke a desire for delicious food and libations, our go to “reward” systems! We also don’t have our go-to routines and some of our weekends get so jam-packed with kids and sports and our social obligations that we don’t have the plans in place that help us to keep on track. These are all valid and understandable!

So what do we do about this natural tendency we have with the weekends when we want to lose fat?

Do you have to be PERFECT on the weekend?! NO WAY.

Being overly restrictive will NOT work and is really NO FUN. Life is about balance and JOY. It’s about working SMARTER not HARDER.

But, there are ways you can simply STRATEGIZE your weekends better that will make a difference! If you’re finding it hard to strategize then you can always use a resource like play sport which helps you organize going to a sports event near you. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people that can help get you through your weekend slump! Plus, you don’t need to limit yourself to weekend use of it as you could use it to improve your weekday fitness too.

Similarly, a lot of people find that team sports encourage them to keep up their fitness. However, if you aren’t into sports like football or rugby, don’t worry. There are other sports, like airsoft, that don’t feel like exercise but still count. With a team sport, it’s vital to perform to the best of your ability because you’re all working together to win. To get into something like airsoft, it might be worth looking at these Airsoft Guns the largest range in the UK. That way, you can improve your fitness whilst making new friends.

At A.Wight Fit, one thing I specialize in is Goal Development and real life strategies to help clients get to their desired health goals and fat loss. I have found these steps as the top strategies I use and my clients have used to see more success!

Top 5 Proven Tips to NOT Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals:

#1 Proven Tip: Don’t overly deprive yourself all week:

hungry

If you are eating far too few calories and doing far too much exercise, you are naturally be inclined to binge eat on the weekend because you’ve been starving yourself! It’s the law of “Metabolic Compensation“. Our bodies are hormonally going to fight to keep you at the weight you’ve been adjusted to. After just 5 days of eating too few of calories and/or exercising too much, you’re hunger hormones are going to go crazy. Ideally, your food and exercise should stay consistent straight through the week.

How do adjust: If you think you might be pushing too hard or restricting yourself too much, change JUST ONE of those aspects at first-not both. Don’t try to overhaul your regime all at once, that will likely result in weight gain that will make you freak out and overcompensate to eating even less and exercising even more. The goal here is to take just 1 aspect of your health and make a 10% adjustment in a healthier direction. So if you are doing 5 hours of cardio a week, you are going to need to cut back on aerobic cardio to actually help your metabolism and fat loss. This means you just cut back in 10% of your time this week. The next week you’ll decide if you’ll cut back again (10%) or hold there for 1 more week, etc.

#2 Proven Tip: Treat Your Weekend As It’s Own Goal & Write it down:Written Goals

Your life likely looks quite different during the weekend as it does during the week so make different habit goals to accommodate the different routines. Focus on just your weekend for a while. Work with the systems you currently have to make those goal changes. With all goals, you have a higher chance of success when you write down exactly what your goals are and the habits you want to enforce to get you there.

How to adjust: Choose 1-2 new habits you want to enforce just for the weekend to improve in your health and stick to those for a month before adding on new goals. Focus on progress, not perfection.

For example, if you normally go to Sunday brunch and order pancakes and bacon, your first habit to adjust is just what you plan on ordering at the Sunday brunch. Make small adjustments every week–what I call “Mini Goals.”

Weekend #1 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and Eat 1 Pancake and 3 egg whites + 1 slice of bacon.

Weekend #2 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch Eat 1/2 Pancake, 3 egg whites + 1slice of bacon.

Weekend #3 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and eat 1-2 bites of pancake, vegetable omelette and 2 slices of bacon.

Progress is Progress!

#3 Proven Tip: Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day- Weekend and Holidays Included:

Alarm Clock

This combines two of the most effective fat loss strategies- being consistent + getting enough sleep. Waking up at the same time every day, no matter what day of the week it is, will eventually allow your body to adjust to the Circadian Rhythms necessary to allow for effective sleeping habits and getting enough sleep will also extend the amount of time you are in the prime fat loss zone (fasting + increased growth hormone etc). If you have been finding it difficult to sleep, you may need to look into a new mattress. Researching key phrases such as ‘mattress reviews australia‘ can help you pick the best one for your sleeping patterns. Alternatively, recent research on the medical use of marijuana has highlighted the positive effect it can have on sleep deprivation and insomnia. These tiny bongs offer a discrete way of finding natural sleep relief. If this isn’t your kind of thing, we have some advice on adjusting below.

How to adjust: Set Your Alarm Clock in the morning and plan the reason WHY you’re getting up early on the weekend. So if you get up at 6am M-F, you’ll want to get up by 630am on the weekends too. But to do that, you’ll need a reason to get out of bed. It’s a perfect excuse to go hit up the gym and get your workout over with. Or it’s a great way to get up go to a Cafe, do some reading, your devotional, or work on other Mind and Soul goals you have. Creating a whole new Ritual out of your early mornings on weekends will be a special treat unto itself!

If you are tired at first, it will take an adjustment. If you need to take an afternoon nap at first, that’s fine, just keep it to the 20-min cat nap that’s been proven as most effective.

#4 Proven Tip: Mentally Prepare for the Weekend Reward:

Prepare

As humans we all know we use food and drinks as a reward system. This is not a bad thing unless your food reward and drink awards get out of control. High fat, high sugar and excessive alcohol tend to be the greatest “reward” in our brains and can often turn into unstoppable eating binges. SO, preparing for the exact thing you crave and planning where and when you have it will help you to control the natural tendency to let it get out of control.

How to adjust: Think of 1-2 healthier food options that are similar enough to your old bad habits. So instead of red wine all weekend, you’ll drink sparkling water with a splash of cranberry and then 1 really good glass of wine that’s worth it for you with dinner on Saturday night.

Think of 1-2 non-food ways to reward yourself during the weekend too. So instead of your whole weekend planning from brunch, to BBQ to dinner (i.e. all food items) make sure you have a pedicure, group workout class, a walk in the park, a coffee date with a friend or something NON-food related that will add some fun to your life.

#5 Proven Tip: Add some SOUL to your Sundays:

Sunday

Making sure you take one day in the weekend to get Spiritually aligned will help remind you of your “WHY” you are getting healthy to begin with. While this practice should not merely be practiced 1-day a week, it is great to have a day dedicated to thanking God for our creation and the wonder of our health blessings we have. It is not about RELIGION, but about building your personal relationship with God and doing this in COMMUNITY has been proven the most successful practice. You learn by listening to others who have more mature Faith than us. But the right fit might take a while to find. It might not be a church, but other spiritual practices you do in community with others. Building this through the weekend is the best way to carry it out into the week as well. It sets your heart on the right path again.

How to Adjust: Commit to going to church, watching a sermon/program online with others, or even going on a Spiritual or Prayer walk or hike to get your Spiritual alignment. Pray for your health, for greater wisdom on your health and how you are to use your body and your health to fulfill God’s Greater Purpose in your life.

Try out 1-2 of these new tips this weekend and see if you feel a greater sense of REWARD by Monday morning!

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

Motherhood Woes and Why Emily Blunt sucks…

Happy belated Mother’s Day to all Mothers, Step Mothers and Adopted Mothers and Grandmothers out there, too. I am blessed to witness some really incredible mom’s in my world.   As I reached out to my Mom, Grandmother, Mother-in-Law, sisters, mother to my step daughter Eden, as well as all the friends I have that are also mothers, I wanted to be sure I fully expressed how much I love them, how in awe of them I am, and how great I think they are doing as a mom because I know, as a mom, you never think you are really doing “good enough.”

Mothers-Day-Cards-2

Indeed, from some of these moms, I did get an almost expected reply back to my praise and adoration, saying, “I fail a lot, but thank you!”

It’s such an honest response to how I know most mom’s feel.

I certainly feel like I “fail” a lot as a Step Mom and have intense feelings of guilt trying plague my mind and thoughts.  It can feel defeating.

But, what does that word even mean? FAIL.

To me, this word doesn’t signify an indication of merely the result of an effort made, but is more of an indication of what the goal was to begin with!

If you have ever felt you have FAILED at something, it is likely because your GOAL in this particular area was to be PERFECT.

There are just certain areas of our life where we strive for PERFECTION.

Perfectionism has fooled our minds into thinking that:

  1. There is such thing as perfection;

  2. That we actually have ability to be perfect;

  3. Anything short of perfection is failure.

But, what we may not realize is having a mindset geared toward PERFECTION is a design from God Himself.

“I have planted a longing for perfection in every human heart. This is a good desire, which I alone can fulfill.” —Sarah Young, Nearer to Jesus

But what goes wrong, is we try to fill our hearts with things that are imperfect (hint: anything that is not God is imperfect, so yes, even your children are an example of this). Those areas then become our IDOLS and we suffer more because of it. We burden ourselves with expectations that can never be met and our mindsets suffer from our inner Self Critic pointing out every “failure” along the way.

But there is a way to beat this!  There is a way to feel successful,  full and complete!

 In this 2-Part Blog Series We’re Going to TACKLE this issue of our Mind:

Part 1: Expose our perfectionist thinking by identifying the Self Critic in your Mind

Part 2: Offer the Alternative Goal that will allow for more God, more Grace, and more “Success” (HINT: the key word is PROGRESS).

 

  1. OUR SELF CRITIC SABOTEUR!

WHAT IS OUR SELF CRITIC?

Our inner Self Critic is that voice in our head that is always nagging on us and criticizing us.   It is the voice in our head that tells us we are not “good enough.”

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For simplicity sake, let’s be clear there are 3 facts about our Inner Self Critic:

  1. Our Self Critic is NOT the voice of God telling you you’re not good enough.
  2. Our Self Critic is NOT the “real us” even though it’s a voice that sounds like us.  
  3. Our Self Critic IS a scheme of the Devil himself.

The devil can be so good and so smart that he might have you convinced that this voice in your head is “just the way you are” or it is God who is ashamed of you, but that is simply not the truth.

Being aware of these facts is a source of empowerment.

Discerning this Self Critic voice from God’s voice and your TRUE self is the awareness that you need in order to move beyond the limitations it tries to set upon you.

 CHARACTERIZING OUR SELF CRITIC?

I was first introduced to the term “Self Critic” from the book, Playing Big, by Tara Mohr.

She says, “All women grapple with this voice of self-doubt in one way or another.  For some women, it is most prominent around their professional lives.  For others, it comes up around their sense of competence as mothers or partners.  For others, it speaks mostly about appearance, body image or aging.”

Preach, Tara, preach!

There she invited me to think of my Self Critic in some character format so I might see her as someone other than me. I loved the idea and encourage you to do the same!

I named my self critic “Emily” after the character played by Emily Blunt in the movie The Devil Wears Prada. She’s the “popular girl” type who thinks that no one is ever good enough, pretty enough, smart enough or skinny enough.  Yeah, she sucks.  (Not the real Emily Blunt, but the character she plays in my head.)

Emily Blunt

 

For some of you, your self critic is going to be an older woman/man of authority that barks down orders. For others, your inner self critic might actually take on the character of your mom or dad or another family member that you have historically never felt “good enough” for.

Whatever the voice is, it’s important to recognize it so you can distinguish it.  You can then learn to live with it (because it may never go away) but also ignore it because you recognize this voice for what it is.

Recognize the common phrases your self critic might use. Tara Mohr says our self critics will often speak in extreme phrases so you’re either “awesome” or “pathetic”.  It’s usually harsh, mean and rude. Fear based and mischievous.  Tells you you’re “not ready yet” to embark on a dream.  Irrational, persistent, and seemingly like a “broken record” that just plays and plays.

I know personally, I recognize my self critic when I walk by a mirror and I hear “Ugh.” It may take a while to fully acknowledge, but it’s really important to start to recognize the character and cues that our Self Critics will use.

 THE AREAS OF FOCUS FOR OUR SELF CRITIC:

Our self critic (i.e. the devil) is incredibly smart and knows to prey on those very areas of our mind and hearts that are the most susceptible to sabotage. Our very weakest weaknesses.

In fact, once you think about it, your Self Critic seems to expand in areas on your life that you fall most prey to idolatry. Those areas that you have a tendency to put ahead of God.

Allow me to humbly admit the 3 top ares of my own demise and idolatry:

 First in my RELATIONSHIPS, “Emily” likes to keep me worrying about what everyone is always thinking of me and keeps putting pressure on me to be a “perfect” wife, “perfect” friend, “perfect” step mom, “perfect” health coach and all that.

Then in my WORK, “Emily” has been especially hard driving on me lately to get more done and do everything all at once to make sure that my new business will succeed. She’s been basically yelling into my head with a megaphone on this one.

Then in my HEALTH, “Emily” has been historically a real b-word. She has yelled at me in my head to workout longer, eat more strict, and especially focused on my body’s flaws and how I just must not be “working hard enough” to see quicker changes!

perfection_doesn__t_exist_by_sireysi-d4y8za3I fully admit that in all the three areas, I wake up every day putting unrealistic pressures on myself to strive for a level of perfection that doesn’t exist.

Every. Day.

 But, my power is is recognizing this voice and ignoring it.

THE ANTIDOTE TO OUR SELF CRITIC:

The other day I was listening to a Rick Warren podcast called “Daily Hope” (one I highly recommend for anyone looking for “quickie” Spiritual guidance!) where he mentioned that the antidote to FEAR is to FOCUS ON THE PRESENCE OF GOD.

That same focus applies to this Self Critic since the truth about these “perfectionist” thoughts is FEAR as well.

Transitioning our focus to the one thing that IS PERFECT is the perfect way to overcome this Self Critic voice from the devil.

Recognizing our weaknesses and imperfections and offering them up to God is the only way we can be made perfect in Him.

 “But he said to me, ‘My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”   2 Corinthians 12:9

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 We DO have the opportunity for perfection, but it is only found where God dwells in us. So if we seek God and connect with God, we find that perfection we long for.

The Devil will continue to try to tear that away and you will struggle every day, in many different ways, to keep that connection to Christ, but God knows that.

God knows that you have a heart that desires perfection, He created that so you would seek HIM more. This means not once, not twice, not 100 times, but every day, several times a day, you must seek God and find the fulfillment you need.

The more you practice this, the more God will relieve your worrisome mind and rest your fears that you are not “good enough” at motherhood, health, or whatever areas your tend to fret.

This awareness, has been incredibly powerful for me. I have been able to use this GodPower source and He has given me a new word and a new GOAL to strive for.

PROGRESS!

Part II of this series will cover how you too can transition your areas of “Perfectionist” thinking in your pursuits for health and use instead a goal of PROGRESS to keep you motivated and find success and satisfaction!

I-Love-Me

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

4 Ways to Handle Unsupportive Friends When You’re Trying to Be Healthy!

Naysayers

The other day, I was on my weekly call with one of my clients and she had just experienced a lunch outing that I was very familiar with. 

Now, my client has made a lot of progress over the course of the last 6-12 months.  Having turned 40, something has been sparked inside her and she has been in hot pursuit of her health and her life!  She has lost over 27 lbs and has sparked a passion for strength training and fitness that she has never felt before!  In fact, 2 months ago, she hired me to help her achieve a big dream of possibly doing a Bikini Competition or a Fitness Photoshoot. 

In other words, she has just pushed the “GO” button on pursuing a dream that is out of her comfort zone!  It’s big, bold and audacious, and she is doing it a SMART way by hiring someone like me to make sure she is staying balanced, level-headed and doesn’t lose herself in a quest for a fit body.  We have seen incredible progress so far!  She’s a shining example!

However, with such audacious goals she and I both know that she has to be very consistent and mindful of her nutrition.  In any Fat Loss effort, your NUTRITION is ~75% of the solution!  She already trains about 4x/week and works out HARD, but if her nutrition is not on point, there is little hope that her metabolism will spark up enough to continue to lose enough body fat to reach her goals.

Well, this week she experienced an outing with some of her coworkers that I have experienced dozens of times before—what I’ll call the “Girls Who Lunch Conundrum.”  

They all went to the standard restaurant chain, ordered a fried appetizer, sandwiches and fries, and I’m guessing diet sodas too.  My client declined on eating the appetizer and ordered a chicken salad with dressing on the side. I am so proud!

Well, as you can imagine that she got quite of bit of slack for being the “only healthy one” at the table.   They made jokes and little snippy comments and really bummed her out.   I’ll call this reaction the “naysayer” reaction.  

Naysayers

She came to me on our call feeling a little defeated.  She said, “I’m just trying to be healthy for myself and they try to make me feel guilty about it.  I’m not judging them for their food choices at all, I’m just not choosing not to eat them.  I don’t see why they are judging me for my food choices.”

You can imagine how she feels right?!  I mean, haven’t we all been there?  I know that I have felt this exact same way with not only acquaintance type of friends (the coworker variety) but also with some of my closest friends, and family members. This is exactly what I discussed on my 5-Part Series called WINE NOT?!  too.  The social implications of being healthy can be the hardest!

Being healthy can sometimes make you feel like you are on an island all alone. Not only are you battling the urge blow off your new healthy food and exercise habits, but you are now also battling some of your closest friends and family who are not exactly supporting you!

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What I learned over the years of being the “healthy one” at the restaurant has allowed a shift in perspective and spiritual awareness that has made a monumental difference in how I handle the snippy little comments from people or simply any friend or family member that just doesn’t “get it” with regards to my health choices.

I shared these lessons with my client on our call and I am sharing them with you today too!

4 Ways to Handle Your Unsupportive Friends:

1. You can Empathize with Their Defensiveness:

Before you started to make all these tough health choices for yourself, you knew just what it was like to be in their shoes.  You can remember all those times that you used food as a coping mechanism for your own stress and can empathize with the fact that they are feeling insecure and defeated by their own choices. 

Empathy

In the situation for my client, all of her coworkers were professional women that had small children at home.  So they worked all day and had families to care for at night and all had some weight to lose.   I reminded her how they must be feeling on the inside.  Their stress is likely so high that they saw the fried appetizer and the sandwich and french fries as their best solution to cope with that stress.  They see their food choices as their “reward” for their hard work.  All too common and we can all relate.      

Now mind you, they are wrong.   Those food choices are actually making their stress worse in many ways because they are getting way too much fat (especially trans fats) and not nearly enough nutrients which would help their bodies physically deal with the cortisol and adrenaline (e.g. the stress hormones) much better.   

But I simply reminded my client that they just haven’t learned that lesson for themselves yet.   She is lucky that she has!

The same goes for all of us. If we can detach from our reactions for a beat and simply take the perspective of their journey and understand that their reaction is not about you at all, but rather is  a symptom of their own struggle, then you are able to detach and move on.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

How Others Treat You

Empathy takes away their power and ability to change you.  Empathy gives you a stronger mindset that will stop the event from festering in your mind and consume any part of your energy.    Empathy allows you to move on unfazed. 

2. You Can Realize that God Didn’t Design You to be Defensive Either:

This one is a big one and a more challenging one to grasp but really important.  It is all too easy to use someone’s defensive behavior as an excuse to react defensively ourselves. 

We all do it:

Someone criticizes you and in return you criticize them.

Someone questions your actions or beliefs and you immediately want to question their actions and beliefs right back.

We must all realize that this is our own sin that will not serve us or our Greater Purpose. 

I was reminded in a book I read recently called “Good News for Those Trying Harder,” by Pastor Alan Kraft that some of the most overlooked sins in our lives are the following:

  • Gossiping
  • Complaining
  • Criticizing
  • Boasting
  • Shifting Blame
  • Defensiveness
  • Deceiving Others

The author challenged me to try to go 1-week without doing any of the above. 

…I lasted about 20-minutes. Ha! 

So often, we think just because we are doing something good for ourselves that we now have the right to judge others for not catching on with us yet.  

This is called being “Self Righteous.” 

To me, this is the number one sin that many Christian people have today.  That we can get caught up thinking  just because we are “Christian” that we are some how “better than” or “above” everyone else. We don’t realize that this very thinking is a sin itself! 

Now, I could clearly get into a theological tangent here, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say, all of us must hold ourselves accountable for our reactions and stop worrying about theirs.

If we want them to stop being defensive with us, we first just learn to not react defensively either. 

If we want them to support us, we better be sure that we are already supporting them!

God did not design us to react this way and we must recognize our own sin and focus on bettering ourselves first!

“Let ye among you without sin be the first do condemn.”

First Stone

3. You Can Give More Love Because You Have Love:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is very few relationships are actually 50/50.

If you find yourself being the one that always seems to give more effort in your relationships, this can often harbor feelings of resentment within you. 

But for those that find the courage and ability to SURREND’her your life up to God, means that you can experience a fulfillment of love on unprecedented levels.

By opening up your soul to the love of God to fill you up causes a massive shift in all of your relationships. 

You realize, you depend less on other people’s love, affirmation and validation because you have more than enough of all of that from God. 

This is also the case for our friends and family that don’t understand or criticize our health and behavior.   

We can love them back, even in their criticism, because we have enough love to give.  We don’t have to depend on their praise or affirmation.  We have all we need from God.

Cup Overflows

4. You can be a Student and a Teacher:

I have come to understand that my friends, family members and acquaintances in my life come to me with a purpose—-I can both learn and teach!

Be A Student:  By opening yourself up to the empathy and understanding from lesson #1 you learn so much!  This creates a better version of you!  Always strive to gain wisdom and understanding in this world and realize these circumstances and people are the tools that will give you that.

Be a Teacher:  Now this is not to say that you need to tell all your friends exactly what they need to be doing.  Umm….no!  That will probably get the opposite reaction than the one you hope for! 

Instead, you teach them by doing. 

So whether my client or her coworkers realized it right then too, she was serving as a valuable teacher for them.  She showed them that it is possible to stare something like fried asparagus in the face and not eat it.  It is possible to order healthy foods at typically unhealthy places.  It is possible to create big, audacious goals and to actually stick to them and conquer them!

As Mahatma Gandhi said,  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

Be the change

My personal and mission for A.Wright Fit is found from Matthew 5:16.  I want to “Let my Light  Shine Before Others so that They May See (My) Good Deeds and Glorify my Father in Heaven.”

Matt 5-16

I encourage us all to continue to be the best versions of ourselves so that we can shine a light on others to be the best version of themselves!

Categories
Food & Nutrition Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

What Do I Eat? Usually, my emotions….

When Craving Doesn't Come From Food

I am hands down an emotional eater. I use food as both a reward and coping mechanism. Joy and stress alike make me want to eat. When I was preparing for my wedding, everyone kept telling me how much weight I’ll lose at the end because “you’ll be so stressed.” Well, they were half right. I was indeed stressed! But I didn’t lose a ton of weight at the end. Why? Well, because stress makes me EAT. A friend of mine noticed this and recommended I tried something like og kush strain to help calm my nerves. I understood where she was coming from, as stressing out never helps anyone. But alas it’s too late and I just wanted to eat. Not the mention the whole celebration part of it too. Celebrating makes me want to EAT too! So, let’s just say that “sitting” in my wedding dress would have been a cool thing, but it didn’t really happen for me. But, hey, the pictures looked great, so I still consider that a win! 😉

Well, they say you are supposed to “Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat.” But I’m pretty sure 75% of my current meals are the “living to eat” variety. My emotions keep me tied to my food much tighter than I would like to admit, especially as a nutritionist and health coach. I also don’t have one client who is not the same as me too, so I would imagine you might have some similar feelings on food as well.

My emotional eating doesn’t necessarily impact my health negatively because I’m actually emotionally connected to really healthy foods too. I am lucky that I have learned this otherwise I’m quite sure I would be just like every overweight and obese person out there. But I still know that even when I’m eating healthy foods, I have a strong tendency to overeat on a regular basis. Due to my addiction to healthy food though, it’s not as much of a problem for me. However, for those who don’t eat healthily, emotional eating can cause obesity pretty quickly. This health condition can put individuals at risk, meaning that they need to do something about it promptly. The first thing to do would be to try and stop emotional eating. From there, it’s important to try and lose weight. This can be difficult and can lead to people giving up before they’ve even started as results won’t happen overnight. However, if you’re struggling to lose weight, you might be able to get bariatric surgery to help you. Perhaps it’s worth getting in touch with Dr. Naveen Ballem, or another specialist, to see if they can help you make an important change.

My strong cravings for food tied to my emotions allow me to know that there is something about my inability to stop eating at times that is just not well with my soul. It is a sign of a Spiritual battle more than just a food thing.

So, this led me to pick up a very good book by Lysa TerKeurst called “Made to Crave.“ In it, she reveals her own journey in junk food addiction and struggle with being overweight and how she was able to fill her life with God more and food less. A journey I can vividly relate to as this is my desire as well.

The Emotional addiction of food is the true concern and threat of this idol. We do know that we need food to survive, but we need not treat food as it is something to worship.

Her book taught and motivated me to do some spiritual and biblical research on food and how we are supposed handle our own cravings. This two part blog series will cover:

  • Part 1. What does the Bible say about food and our cravings?
  • Part 2. How can I take these passages and create a practical plan to overcome my eating?
  • thinking-food

Part 1:

While food is a blessing in our life, the full dedication of one of our 5 senses in taste, it can serve as an agent of destruction to our soul. The apostle Paul writes:

“For as I have often told you before and now say again with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is their shame.“ (Phil 3:18-19)

Our human nature can easily become consumed with food. Our days can be filled living only meal to meal. Obsessively planning our diets and fantasizing our indulgences. DietAlso, the gift of flavor from real, true food, has been manipulated and exploited by the food industry for capital gain (a byproduct of another damning idol of our humanity –> greed).

However, we cannot to just shift the blame of our food issues to the manufacturers… or worse to God himself for our emotional and physical addiction to food by saying “God made me this way.” For God did not make us to crave anything but God himself.

We must recognize the power and opportunity to strengthen our Faith and deny ourselves of our idols (i.e. food) to grow closer to God.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily to follow me.“ (Luke 9:23)

Nor should we “worry” about our diet and what we shall eat.

“Do not set your heart on what you will eat and drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after such things and your Father knows that you need them.“ (Luke 12:29-31)

So what are we to do? I know for me, this feels like a seismic and impossible shift in my psyche and what I think about all day long. Food is simply one of my favorite things to think and worry about.1a944a2f712afee99e126a02c9c2cda9

But, as is my own business model presents, I must take heed to my own words. If I want to change what I “think” about, I need to dig deeper to the depths of my Spirit. The best way to detach my mind and my focus away from food is not to make sweeping statements about what I will “not do.”

To over-consume my thoughts with phrases like “I will not be consumed by food or controlled by my cravings of (x, y, z)” all my subconscious mind hears is “food, food, food” causing us to think of nothing else but–> food.

To overcome any battle, we much instead engage our inner spirit to the task. Turning our hearts on what will feed us from within, not what will not.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.“ (Matthew 4:4)

“My food, said Jesus, is to do the will of Him who sent me to finish His work.” (John 4:34)

These passages give us our answer of spiritual focus for fulfillment:

  1. Focus on the word of God
  2. Focus on God’s will for our lives (i.e. our Greater Purpose).

Just as God made Jesus for a Greater Purpose (to live perfectly but die for our sins) he also made you for a Greater Purpose. (For more on what Greater Purpose is click on this past article HERE).

SURREND’hering our spirit UP distracts our feeble minds from our sinful nature and attachment to food. It is not the FOOD that is the sin, but how we treat it.

“For everything in the world- the cravings of a sinful man (…) comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:15-16)

Instead of obsessing over our food choices or overindulging in unhealthy foods, we can

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.“ (Psalm 34:4)

Feeding on the spirit does not mean we will give up food or fast for the rest of our lives! Don’t mistake my point of this calling. We must all still eat.

But SURREND’hering our emotional connection to food and exposing the idol that it can be for many of us will allow our minds to break free from the stronghold that food/drink addictions and obsessions with food can be.

This ranges from everything from compulsive eating, mindless eating and obsessively tracking and counting your food or any other act of food obsession. If your mind thinks about food more often than it thinks about God then we have work to do. (Both of my hands are raised up in the air for this one!!)

411a4ni2oVL._SY355_We must realize that God did not design us to be hangry.

God did not design us to uncontrollably eat and gorge ourselves on food or drink.

God did not design us to obsessively track every calorie or macronutrient.

God designed us to use the food he gave us a fuel.

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To trust and have faith that there will always be enough for us. We must find a way to be content in all situations. As the apostle Paul said,

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:12)

We can detach from food and find contentment by turning our spirit and our attention to the word of God more, to our relationships with Him, and to our Greater Purpose for which we were designed.

“Your words were found and I ate them and your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.” (Jeremiah 15:16)

LIVE in the Spirit of Joy for life. LIVE in the Spirit of true fulfillment by consuming God’s love more abundantly than food.

“So I say to you, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of your sinful nature.” (Galatians 5:16)

I hope my article and these scripture verses help to bring awareness and conviction for our depth of need in this area of food and the nature of our cravings. I hope it also points out that if you are a person that emotionally struggles with food, you are not alone!! It might surprise you that there are so many references to FOOD in the Bible, I know it surprised me! If it’s in the Bible, it means it’s been a real struggle for human for centuries! But more than that I hope this gives you some hope that with these passages are the answers to our problems. The Bible tells us where we can take our emotional struggle with Food and how we can use it to grow closer with God.

But, I know that often times after reading the Bible, I need an idea of how to take the scriptural context to my real life . I’m a person that needs some practical application to fixing this need in our souls and help find our paths to true health of Body, Mind and Soul.

Therefore….

Look for Part 2 tomorrow on some ideas of practical implementation and affecting real change in your life.

Categories
Uncategorized

Breaking-Up is Powerful To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The other day I gave a little snippet of how my husband and I met. It was some good ol’ self-deprecating humor about how my husband was actually attracted to the very assets (no pun intended) that I had perceived as my worst flaws (i.e. my big ol’ booty).

I told the story about how we first met and gave the rather evasive ellipses and the cliche of “the rest is history!”

Well, ha! That history was anything but just 3 small dots . . .

Actually if each of those dots represented the number of times we would break-up, then yes, that is quite accurate! But it would be a tumultuous 6-years of dating on-and-off before we would be engaged and then married on lucky year #7. In fact, we married on the exact date that we met at the restaurant I told you about in my last blog.

It was anything but “first comes love, then comes marriage” il_340x270.468855362_s7edin your typical RomCom (Romantic Comedies). You could liken it much more to the yo-yo dating a la Carrie and “Mr. Big” of Sex and the City.

Each break-up was excruciatingly painful for me. Howard had been trapped in his own mental battle of “lies” that had convinced him that he wasn’t capable of successfully being married. A product of both his childhood history, his own divorce, and the dozens of divorces he witnessed of many of his closest friends. Some of them even found that their spouse was having an affair using reverse phone lookup.

That being said, even if things did not work out in the end, a divorce is nowhere near as traumatic or as stigmatized as it used to be. For instance, I know plenty of couples that have managed to split amicably. Most arguments during divorce proceedings tend to focus on the division of assets. However, most of my friends that have been divorced have always used a prenuptial agreement to ensure that their assets were divided fairly. One thing I will say though is that if you are considering getting a prenuptial agreement before marriage, it is vital that you contact a team of prenup lawyers first to make sure that your prenup is accurate and valid.

As for my now-husband though, he had a very fear-based way of living and looking at relationships. His viewpoint, sadly, is actually very common in America. It’s not just America who feels this way, there are many people around the world who feel this way about marriage, for example in the United Kingdom, where the divorce rate is around 40%, there are some couples who look to law firms that are in the Specialist Divorce business in order to end their marriages. There are others who believe that marriage isn’t needed to maintain a happy relationship with their partner.

But, being the hopeless optimist that I have always been, I saw so much more in him and knew what we had was special.

Even so, I was caught in my own “fear-based” mindset, constantly worrying about our relationship too. Thinking about him non-stop and wondering where it was all “going” and if he “really loved me” or not.
I always worried that I was never enough for him and never enough to save our relationship.

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Call these fears of intuition or more likely a self-fulfilling prophecy, but after about 6-months of things going seemingly fine for us, I would start to panic and squeeze tighter just as Howard would start to panic and pull-away. Causing us to break-up.

These break-ups felt like my heart was shattering.

But what was so surprising, was that I quickly came to realize that I was not indeed shattered or broken. I think myself lucky that unlike some people I didn’t jump straight into marriage and have to use Colorado Springs Process Server to issue my partner with divorce papers each time.

In a beautiful irony is that in those moments of feeling so heart-broken, my heart was actually being healed and remolded into a better way.

It was during these periods of heart break that I (slightly at first) began to lean on God as well as learn more about myself!

God tremendously blessed these times for me.

I found some of my best friends and grew much closer with my family;
I found my body’s strength and my passion for fitness;
I found some necessary wisdom from seeking a therapist for over 3-years to figure out my own fear-based and insecure mind;
I found out a lot about myself through the various jobs and “life searching” I was doing.

What was happening in these breaks of our relationship are what I now call “LIFE!”

I learned things that I would not have necessarily learned had I still been so mentally consumed by my relationship with Howard.

It was easy for me say that Howard’s commitment phobia was the issue, but I began to realize that was not true.

I was just as responsible for the relationship not working out (yet). I had my own fear-based issues that clearly needed some Divine Molding to turn me into “wife” worthy.

As I was learning this, I must admit it was very easy to get ahead of myself too. To think that just a few months of “soul searching” would fix both him and I. So each time we would get back together, I would think, “Ok God, we did all the work we needed to do! This time this is it!”

But nope…..we would fall back into our old fear-based habits. Howard would pull-away. I would worry and obsess. We’d break-up. Yo-Yo dating.

Finally, after our 3rd break-up, feeling shame from the “fool me twice” adage, I reached my breaking point. I was done. It was at this moment of feeling “done” that I found my word SURRENDER and I was finally learning to live it too.

I started to attend a new church in my home town of Greeley, Coloraod – Christ Community Church, and began to experience some remarkable spiritual revelations and God Winkmiracles. The Pastor of the Church, Alan Kraft would somehow preach sermons that were exactly what I needed to hear at that day. This is something I’ve heard called a “God Wink”, where you feel as though God has just blessed you with a little coincidence or miracle with a “wink” ;-).

It was at this time , that I was finally entering into a personal, deep relationship with God. Where I learned to SURREND’her my heart for GOD to fill, instead of waiting for some man to come and do it. I finally let down enough guards around my heart making God truly able to heal me.

I would find that God was doing the same for Howard.

A series of big events for Howard along with years of counseling, allowed him to finally realized I was “the one.” God enabled him to break himself free from the lies he’d convinced himself of for so long and gave him the courage to fly out to Denver and beg me to be his wife.

When he found me again, he found a new me. I was not the same “fear-based” woman I had been. God had truly changed all that. While I certainly needed several weeks to pray and contemplate whether I could really forgive Howard and accept some new developments in our life as well as commit to the biggest decision of my life and become his wife, having the fulfillment of God’s love in my heart made all of those decisions possible.

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.”

-2 Corinthians 1:20

The time apart had allowed a beautiful release of the expectation that he or any man had previously been expected to fill. Because I was filled to the brim with God’s love I was able to release Howard from the role of having to fill those empty holes and neediness I had before.

As much as my heart bursts from the amount of love I receive from my husband now, it does not compare to the love and fulfillment I feel from God’s love.

Which makes sense, because God IS love. Cup Runneth OverAny love that I give and receive from Howard just makes my “cup runneth over.”

You might be wondering, ok Mandi, that is a pretty great love story and all, but what does this have to do with HEALTH?

Well, a lot actually!

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow as I expand further on the Power of the Break-Up in LOTS or areas of our life!!

Categories
Fitness & Training Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

Life is Bootyful

So, if you’ve never met me, you might not realize all that I have going on….

Meaning, I have a pretty big butt.

Woman Booty

As a matter of fact, my booty is a flotation device! Yep, when I swim it somehow stays above water the whole time. Don’t ask me how. It’s rather embarrassing, and one strong reason why I am NOT a fan of swimming. I received quite a few chuckles about it when I was young, and can see how cute it must have been back then.

Now it’s just a little alarming. So unless you’re my 2-year old stepdaughter, don’t expect me to hop in the pool much with you.

Yes, the Lord blessed me and my Momma (and my Momma’s Momma) this-girl-got-it-from-her-mamawith this “S-Curve” action. (Despite what my husband thinks) I am white and grew up in a pretty white town, so this was not something I loved about myself growing up.

As a matter of fact, when I shared the story of my childhood and how I started to develop deep insecurities about my body aaaallllllll the way back in 2nd grade, it was because I had this big ol’ booty and I got teased about it all the time.

While growing up, I would honestly pray that God would help me lose weight in my booty. Well I think he misheard me, because whenever I lost weight, it was right from my boobies….not my booty. The opposite of my request!!

We all have prayer requests. The bible tells us that no prayer request is too big or too small.

So my prayer to lose weight in my booty isn’t technically too small of a prayer for God, but it was just pretty “small minded” of me! There were certainly things I was in need of in a spiritual sense, more in need of than a smaller butt!

Nevertheless, even though it was always my workout goal to “get a smaller butt“, this goal and this prayer went unanswered. I had to learn to live with the big “bootyful” life I had.

youre-bootyful-85186532Luckily I did.

Fast forward to me, 25-years old, working as a waitress in La Jolla, CA, at a nice steak house called Donovans.

In walks this tall drink of mochacino man that literally gave me heart palpitations.

I walked by him……he looked at me…..I smiled at him….he gawked at me. I was unnerved and was thanking my stars I wasn’t his waitress! I would walk by his table on the way to the kitchen and try not to look his way. I was hanging out at the bar, and in order to completely avoid looking in his direction, I completely turned my back and was pretending to watch whatever sporting event was on the TV above me.

This move gave him the robust view of…..you guessed it….my large derrière!

This is what we call a HOOK, LINE, and SINKER for my man. original_hook-line-and-sinker-valentines-card

Within just a few moments, his waiter was handing over his business card to me telling me, “the talk guy at my table is into you“. On the back of his card was “Dinner Sometime?“(what a line, Wright!)

And as the saying goes……….the rest is history!

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Left: October 2007 when we first met…Right: October 2015 on our wedding day

As my husband describes it, his first attraction was to my face. But what got him to literally “play his cards” right was my big ol’ booty.

So, all those years, God didn’t answer my prayer to help me lose weight in my butt. He knew that this big booty would literally help me get the man of my dreams!

This perspective has helped me love and understand my body goals so much more!

Along with my butt, I have always struggled with the necessary “thunder thighs” that help support my booty.

strongwomanBut now I see my big, stroooonng legs as maybe purposeful. God willing, I’ll never have to lift a car off of a child, or carry my 6’8″ husband out of a burning building. But, I’m (probably) strong enough to do those things. I think that’s kinda cool.

I see the naturally, slightly higher body fat and estrogen hormonal structure unique to my body (pear-shaped as they call it) being purposeful in creating a human life. That might be cool one day, if that is what God has in store for me 😉

Body-shapes

And clearly if I’m ever in a boating accident, or airplane crash over water, I could just be used as a, “flotation device” with my buoyant-behind, meaning I could survive to speak to legal help after a crash. (Again God, if you can please make that NEVER have to happen, Amen).

As good as this would be in an event of an accident, such as one in an airplane, I don’t think my “floatation device” would be able to help me cover the costs of any loss of earnings or medical bills, as I’m sure that I would definitely need to have some emergency treatment. That’s when a law firm similar to lamber goodnow would have to be contacted so they could help me in the steps that I would need to complete next. But I’m hoping that it will never come to this.

I see my curves as pretty great not just because my husband loves them, but because they are unique to me and they are what God designed! He is a master crafter! Everything can have a Purpose!

So yes, I still have body goals. Yes, I still pray for God to guide me with my body goals. Yes, I make sure I am staying fit and healthy instead of using this perspective of “loving my body” as an excuse to be lazy or not strengthen it.

But I’m no longer praying for God to magically change my “flawed features”, because I see that there is truly Purpose in each and every ounce of my body.

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I concentrate on being STRONG’her in body, WISE’her in how I think about my body, and certainly continue to SURREND’her curves up to God so they might be used for you Greater Purpose.

I invite you to do the same in taking part in my 7-Step SURREND’her Goal Development Workshop! It will help you define the (W)right fit of goals for your life. Balance your health goals to empower yourself towards true health and provide you with 7-steps to make your goals a life long commitment!

The emails will be sent to you between April 13-April 20.

There is no extra gimmick. Nothing to sell. Just me, striving to help you reach your goals!! There are limited spaces…. so act fast!

Categories
Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

{Public Service Announcement} YOU are WORTHY

I have to admit, every time I contemplate opening up and writing about certain spiritual moments in my personal life, I get very nervous and unsure if I should.  But today, I feel as though this is too powerful and too necessary of a message that I can’t let any fear hold me back.

So here it goes……

As directed, I was standing in the quiet solitude, opening the posture of my heart and wondering if this was really going to work.  Pastor Alan Kraft was praying over us in the congregation and was speaking to the areas that we might be “thirsting for MORE of the Holy Spirit”. 
Thirsting SoulHe asked if some of us might be contemplating “an area of risk or feeling God might be asking us to step out of our comfort zone in some way.”

He instructed those of us that were feeling this area of “thirst in our souls”, to ask God, in the quiet of our heart, to give us a word or a phrase that He wanted us to know. 

In moment, the word that filled my heart was….

“Worthy”

Pastor Alan is the lead Pastor of Christ Community Church in my home town in Greeley,CO.  I just so happened to be back in town and of course always love to attend the church where this Pastor  played such a significant role in reawakening my soul and therefore my life as I now know it.  There is no amount of money or tithe that I could possibly repay this church, and that humble man, for the impact he has had on my life during some of my darkest days (I’m talking about every break-up I ever faced!).  It was a divine gift that led me to that church when I did.  I am so grateful for this blessed impact.   

This day would be another example of God’s wondrous miracles and His abundant grace pouring down on me in this Church.

This word “Worthy” brought me to tears immediately.    

It was as though with just the small prick of one simple word, the entire ho- air-balloon 
Hot Air Balloon-sized amount of guilt, fear and true UNworthiness I had been feeling for SO long was completely deflated.

This would not be the first time a single word would have such a huge impact on my life.  About 4-years ago now, I was living with my parents just after moving back to Colorado from California and was really unsure what I was “supposed to be doing.”

I was watching an Oprah Winfrey, Master Class, about the star herself (see video link).  She was speaking about the time she was jogging, literally at a fat farm, and so upset about not getting the role she thought God had called her to get  for the movie, The Color Purple.  She was tormented by this and in her grief, finally started to spontaneously sing the hymn “I Surrender All”, reminding herself that she needed to just Surrender this expectation and her life to God.  She describes it as just words at first, but the more she repeated that chorus and the more she started to pray on it, the more she was truly able to SURRENDER herself and be ok with not getting that part. 

Oprah Surrender

The second she got to that place in her Spirit, someone came running out to let her know she had a call from Steven Spielberg himself, offering her the role she had dreamed of.  It all happened the moment she truly “Surrendered”.

But the word, as she said it, seemed to leap off her mouth on the TV and smack me upside the head. 

“Surrender”

It was, as she would certainly describe it, an “aha moment” of magnitude 10. 

As you might have guessed by my repeated use here and now trademarked version of my, SURREND’her, this word became my mantra for living ever since that day. Just as Oprah describes it was just merely a word to me at first, but the more I prayed it out or I wrote it down and repeated it to myself, the more I was able to truly Surrender my spirit more and more.  istock-purchased-surrenderIt was so freeing to think that I could loosen the tight grip of all this life choices I thought I was going to have to create for myself.  That I did not need to control my own destiny, that I could surrender it all to God and trust that He would take care of it. 

Just as he has with Oprah, God has blessed me with the life of my dreams, and I know I’m only getting started!   It led me to several life changing experiences and challenges!  I have been able to accept and embrace things in my life that I never would have dreamed like step-parenting, forgiving, moving, and world traveling!   But here I am , Surrendering to it still now, and loving EVERY. SURREND’hered. Moment.

So now, this new word…….WORTHY.

I realized I had been feeling so UNworthy in so many ways. 

UNworthy of God’s presence in my life and for his debt that He paid for my sin.

UNworthy or guilty of the blessing of being back with my fiancé, now husband, Howard and all that we were planning to do and a wealth of opportunity I never had imagined for my life. 

I also felt very UNworthy of the calling I had been starting to feel in my soul and all of THIS….

THIS dream, of this very website and the possibility of writing or speaking publicly about my health and my faith is is huge step out of my comfort zone.  But I am strengthened only by God’s presence in me.

 I had an intense amount of fear that was causing me to procrastinate and divert my attention to other menial tasks, instead of starting this project and site.  Even now, there is intense amount of fear that surfaces again and again with each post because it is an extremely vulnerable thing to talk about not just my life, but my Faith.   I have always felt very private about my faith mainly because I never, ever want to offend anyone and don’t want to make anyone think that I am trying to force a religion down their throats.

But in this moment, God called me WORTHY and it is now imprinted on my heart.  I wear this worthiness like a badge of honor to play this “worthy” role, even if my fears want to try to talk me out of owning it.

Just like I did with ‘Surrender”, I put this word every where! It’s on my Vision Board, on a custom sign I’m having made for my desk and I write it down as often as I can, especially when I’m journaling or feeling especially emotional and fearful. 

WORTHY
My Office Shelf with my Vision Board titled WORTHY

This word ‘Worthy’ truly became the daily reminder that God is telling me I’m worthy of this all and I’m worthy of His love and blessings He wants to bestow to me if I am obedient to His calling.    I should not hold myself back from all of my hearts desires because of the LIE of ‘unworthiness’ I had been feeling for so long.

THIS WEEK…..

I am reminded of this word this week as I have talked to more than one close girlfriend who are also fellow Christians, but are struggling in different areas of their life, like we all are.

Both of them confided to me that they had been feeling “UNworthy” of all of their blessings in their life too.   They used that exact word…”UNworthy”….

I realized when speaking to these friends that they too were caught in the fear and the lie of this feeling of unworthiness and it is stalling them in taking the next step they need to take on their path for their Greater Purpose. 

And now it’s hit me. 

Really, this word was never just MY word to now use.    

No, this word that God gave me on that September day was always intended as a gift for you.  You, whoever you are, reading this right now. 

It is a miracle that you happen to be reading this very blog this day because God has something very special He wanted me to remind you.

worthyYou are worthy of it all.

You are worthy of your blessings.  You are worthy of His Grace.  You are worthy of His forgiveness.  You are worthy of YOUR calling to YOUR Greater Purpose. You are worthy of the
price Jesus paid when He died for your sins.  You are worthy of your dreams.

You are worthy of your health. 

You are worthy of His love.

He wants you to wear this word of “Worthy” like a tattoo on your heart because you will never be rid of your worthiness.  

If you feel that you have been holding yourself back from your dreams (whether they are dreams about your health, or dreams about your calling, or anything!) because you have been feeling deep down inside that you are somehow UNworthy of the true blessing God has planned for you, then TODAY is your day to step out from behind those dark shadows and lies of UNworthiness.

FEAR IS A LIAR

FEAR is a LIAR.  Your feeling of UNWORTHINESS is a LIE straight from Satan himself that has plagued your spirit and has caused you to hold back from fully committing your life to your Greater Purpose.  It is holding you back from SURREND’hering it ALL to God, not just some of your life. 

God has created you for a Greater Purpose and you are WORTHY and capable of every step ahead of you!!

If you are feeling unsure about the next steps in your life and unsure if you are living out a life of your WORTHY calling, then I would be honored to help you decide what your WORTHY goals should be! 

I am hosting a 7-part/day series called 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development where I am going to take a limited number of participants through the program I developed that I use personally every day and I use with each of my Health Coaching Clients.

You will be creating and designing goals for your life to help you fulfill your Greater Purpose!  To put action to this call of urlWORTHINESS and to start the action steps to accomplish ALL God has called you to do. 

You will get the chance to learn how to achieve goals in ALL areas of your True Health (or life!) including Body Goals, Mindset Goals and Spiritual Goals to become….

a wright fit tag line

It will be an incredibly rewarding time of self-discovery, visualization and action steps to achieve all God is calling you to achieve!!

The series will start on Monday, April 13 and will be emailed to you for just 7-Days.

For YOU, I will offer this service for FREE because I think you are Worthy of achieving any goal or dream in your heart. 

To take part of this 7-Steps to SURREND’hered GOAL Development click HERE and share with as many people as you think are WORTHY as well.  

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Uncategorized

Even Pastors Mess This One Up | From SURREND’her to STRONG’her
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(Be sure you read to then end of the blog to sign up for a limited opportunity!)

Your Greater Purpose and Your Health—

preacher-pulpit2-r2

My husband, Howard, tells a story about a fiery pastor who was responsible, along with his grandmother “Gammy”, for my husband first giving his life to Christ at the age of 12.

He was the Pastor of a predominantly African American church in Los Angeles, CA and out of respect, I’ll omit using his name here. Howard describes the man as one of the most powerful orators he has ever met. He laughs saying, “Pastor would suck in a big breath from his big belly and then all of a sudden fire out the longest sentence of the gospel you had ever heard.” The man was, by all who can attest, a brilliant Pastor and surely living out a Greater Purpose from God by bringing so many to know God more.

Unfortunately, this pastor died at a young age, in his late 50’s due to a string of ailments some of which were due to his weight, including diabetes. It is a sad ending to a great man’s life.

Upon hearing this story, I couldn’t help but wonder how many more people could have been led to God had his life not have ended at such a young age. While admittedly, I do not know the specific circumstances of this mans health, I do know that his story can fit the context of the hundreds and thousands of deaths we see plague this world. Far too many people are dying from preventable or manageable health issues in this world! With all due respect to the legacy of this man’s life, to me, this story is another example of one great man’s Greater Purpose being cut short by his inability to take care of his body’s health.

As you may know by my writing, that my views on health have been enhanced in recent years and I am on this forum trying to promote a less “body obsessed” version of health and replace it with a more balanced, deeply rooted, approach to “True Health.”

To me, in order to build a STRONG’her body, you have to be able to change the way you think about your body and your health and become WISE’her. But to gain true wisdom, you have to dive deeper in your Spirit to the depths of your character, core values and relationship with God to SURREND’her your life to your Greater Purpose.

 

However, this path is not linear with all roads leading to that SURREND’her goal, it’s circular! While I make no quips about the fact that I absolutely believe that SURREND’hering ourselves is the only way we can ever TRULY LIVE, this is not where the road ends.

Linear Path Nope

Once you have SURREND’hered your life to God and to the path of your Greater Purpose, it has to circle back to you building up a STRONG’her body.

 

Circular Image BODY MIND SOUL

My beliefs on this are based on the simple question:

 How can one truly LIVE out your Greater Purpose without being diligent to keeping your body healthy along the way?

The answer is:

you can’t

Living out your Greater Purpose requires just that—LIVING. You simply cannot live the life you were designed to truly live without properly taking care of your body along the way.

Afterall, to go an do GREAT things in this life, you need:

 

  • Endurance and sustainable energy,
  • A body strong and capable of living out whatever God is calling you to do
  • A strong immune system to prevent illness and disease
  • The ability to sleep soundly to truly rest your body and mind
  • Strong bones and muscles to help prevent pain and injury
  • Properly functioning organs by supplying them with the necessary nutrients

 

Do we have control over all aspects of our body? Certainly not. Can we prevent all diseases and ailments, unfortunately, no.

But should you have the audacity to full take control of those aspects of your health that you CAN control and work to establish a balanced and true health for yourself by depending on the strength of God, He will bless your efforts and bless your path to your Greater Purpose to a Greater Health.

No matter what God has has established as your Greater Purpose, it is your responsibility to properly take care and nourish your body to do it!

While it is easy to feel the responsibility of your to feel like a burden , but if you take on the tasks as an act of gratitude for your life and for the body you have been blessed with, your health will no longer feel like such a burden but rather a blessing!  God will bless you in your obedience in taking care of your Holy Temple.

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own;” (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Being healthy and exercising your body is so much more than our bodies “looking a certain way”, God does not care about that.

 “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Sam 16:7)

Your true health is much more about what you can go out and DO for others, for yourself and for God.

Make sure your “Temple” is representin’ God’s greatness!! dawn_by_freelancah

 FOR EXAMPLE:

If God has called you to be a teacher, take care of your body and eat in a way that will inspire your students to do the same for themselves. While you are cultivating their mind, cultivate their own self worth and self care by showing them what health looks like.

If God has called you to be a mother, in the same light, take care of your body so you might show your children how you love your body and you love God. Show them how with God you can overcome the temptations of food addiction, idolatry of food/alcohol/substances, and even the temptation of self loathing or lethargy. That you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

If God has called you to go climb the highest mountain in the world so you can shout His name from the top, I’m pretty sure you are going to have to get in some pretty darn good shape to be able to do that.

If God has called you to travel the world as a missionary, you are going to need sustenance and a good supply of nutrients now to endure what lack of you might receive there.

If God has called you to be a singer, public speaker or Pastor, you bet you’re going to need to some energy to truly get up on that stage and have an impact with your voice. Your body will be used physically and as a shining example of the woman God created.

If God has called you to solve medical mysteries and diseases, your mind will need an incredible amount of nourishment in order to be able to critically think for so long. You will need energy and a body that can allow for true wisdom to come through which will require rest and exercise.

If God has called you to be of service by being an incredible friend or mentor to those around you, you too need to represent the love of God from the inside out. Show the people you love what it looks like to love God and to yourself enough to take care of your body too.  Do not be mere words.

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It is time that you use your Greater Purpose of this life to finally find the TRUE motivation to get to your TRUE health!

You will no longer be working out to “look like her.” You will no longer be “on a diet” to get a “bikini body.” You will no longer resort to surgeries, drugs or supplements to try to “cheat” your way to “looking better.”

Just to be clear, your Greater Purpose in life is not to look good in a bikini or to be able to take the perfect selfie for social media.

Your Greater Purpose is found in TODAY, not in tomorrow. So you are going to start TODAY, no, RIGHT NOW to make this life a life worth living.

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Take your next step toward your Greater Purpose. Take your next step toward your Greater Health!!

 

 

Want to know how we’re going to do it?!   Well here is where you might take advantage of an exciting opportunity with yours truly.

The key to success in your health is simply establishing the right goals and setting out to fulfill them in effective ways!

I have a 7-Step SURREND’hered Goal Development  I designed and implement with each of my Health Coaching Clients!

It involves:

-Setting (S.M.A.R.T) specific goals that fit in with your Greater Purpose way of living for you Body, Mind AND Soul.

-Using the power of Visualization for success and retraining your subconscious brain.

-Creating and implementing daily habits to establish effective results daily and to override the less effective ones you’ve been using.

– Ritualizing those habits to make them uniquely you!

 

If you are interested in participating in my 100% FREE 7-Step SURREND’hered Goal Development WORKSHOP, please subscribe to this email link HERE. It will be a daily emailed workshop that will last just 7 days!  It is a one-time event and will only be offered to a limited number of subscribers, so sign up quickly!

The workshop will cover not only these steps to TRUE HEALTH Goals, but will also include some BONUS workout guides, Nutrient-Based Eating Guide and Recipes!

So if you’re ready to make some changes in your health and need help figuring out the necessary steps to take to create some life changing goals, sign up for the GREATER HEALTH series HERE that will begin on:

Monday April 13!

Share the link and tell a friend and get excited about changing your health and changing your life!

If you are interested in getting started right away, I have just a couple positions open in my roster of 1:1 Virtual Health Coaching practice. Contact me at amanda@amandawrightfit.com or click on the Health Coaching Tab of my website.

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