Tag: body

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Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Best Kind of Weight Loss

So I just got off the phone with one of my new clients and I am so inspired that I am actually going to botch the entire blog that I’ve been working on for the last couple of weeks to share this story with you today!

This client and I have only been working together for a couple of weeks so far, but she hired me describing feeling being at “an all-time low point with her health”.  She knew she needed to drastically change her health and knew she needed someone to help coach, guide and support her in some significant changes she was ready to make.  I am so lucky she chose me. 

I told her, as I tell all my clients, that I learn just as much from them as they do from me.  It is an absolute honor and priveledge that I get to be a support system for any woman willing to face her fears, overcome obstacles and set herself back on the path that God has created for her.  To witness such transformations with her, changes my soul and teaches me much more than I could ever learn on my own and through my own experiences. 

So, as I do with all clients, the first step that we take together is to decide and write down what her goals are going to be.  I whole-heartedly believe that choosing the (W)right goal for yourself is the most important step in becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her, andSURREND’her your life UP and should not be a rushed decision. 

GoalWithoutAPlan

If you are truly ready for some real change in your life and in your health, you must get the SURREND’her part down first.  That means, choosing the kind of health goal that GOD wants you to choose, not that you and your fears or lack-based tendencies are pressuring you to choose. 

 (By the way, I have combined all 7-steps into an ebook that can be downloaded when you subscribe to my emails newsletters HERE.)

As we discussed her goals over the course of the first couple of phone calls, the tone of her voice sounded unsure, embarrassed, discouraged, and soft. 

The tone of her voice when we just spoke today?  Completely different.  It sounded light, free, upbeat, and confident.

So what had changed? 

Well, she shifted her thinking and shifted her search for her goals!  Her story was so awe inspriing, I wanted to share with you here today.     

When she first contacted me she had told me her measurable goal was to lose X number of pounds.  This is extremely common and not at all a “bad” goal.  In fact, I highly encourage measurable goals to help motivate, track and stay accountable.    

However, there are a million ways to measure your goals, so I encouraged her to take some time and truly reflect on whether or not this was the right goal for her and was indeed what God wanted her to focus on.

After this conversation, she told me she kept seeing messages about spiritual fasting popping-up in her world and she decided to do an incredibly brave thing——she listened. 

She decided the signs were pointing her to do a spiritual fast and see if she could find some clarity about this health process.  So for a almost a full week, she only ate vegetables and fruit and spent the time she would have spent eating, praying and reflecting more with God. 

(NOTE: This is a highly effective practice for anyone spiritually mature enough to make it about connecting with God to answer a prayer and not about doing a “cleanse” to help you lose weight.  Your heart posture matters!  If you would like more information about this, I’m happy to help answer or guide you, just email me!)

As God promises us in the Bible, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7)  When she sought clarity from God, He gave it to her.

During this fasting period, she came across a book that just seemed to pop-off the shelf to her.  It was called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Vosakamp.   The story resonated with her on such a deep level she devoured it in about 2 hours flat and had her new measureable health goal from it.    

Today, with her voice full of courage, hope and a new depth of Faith, she announced her new goal to me:   She is going to seek and find her 1,000 gifts. 

One Thousand Gifts

Every day, she is going to seek out the gifts of her life and write them all down.  She will set her her intention on finding all that is good in her life and will spend her time looking for that, not just seeing her life through the lens of self pressure or busyness.     

Her choice of a goal actually went hand-in-hand with a morning devotion that I had happened to read just this morning from the book, Nearer to Jesus by Sarah Young, which read:

“As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day.  Look carefully for them and pluck them one by one.  When you reach the end of the day, you will have gathered a lovely bouquet.  Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart.  Receive My Peace as you lie down to sleep, with thankful thoughts plying a lullaby in your mind.” 

It is of no coincidence that she and I had received similar messages of seeking out the smGod Winkall treasures from God on the very same day.  These are the “God winks” that we can all experience every day that we have our eyes opened and willing to receive it. 

The best part of the phone call was the next part she told me…. 

She said that naturally Monday morning she decided to weigh herself to see if her weight had dropped after doing a week of fasting.   It did…..but only 2 pounds. 

She was fighting the natural instinct to be disappointed that after so much “restriction” she did not see more physical weight loss.

I reminded her however, that she had actually lost a significant amount of weight, it just wasn’t the kind of weight that we know how to measure.

You see, this past weekend after the fasting, she described how she had been able to go to her favorite Mexican food restaurant and felt satisfied after eating only 20% of her favorite meal. 

She went to a baby shower and was able to resist the unhealthy food choices and cupcakes, and made the best decision she could with the options she had (chicken salad and some fresh vegetables and fruit) and felt good and satisfied by it.    

The weight she lost was not physical weight.  It was the lifting of the MENTAL burden that she had been bearing for the past several years regarding food, cravings and overall energy.   I could tell she had lost such weight simply by the lightness of her voice.    

Weight gain is very rarely about actual “weight.”  90%+ of the time, our weight is determined more by our thoughts than anything else. 

  • Having a dieters mentality is a heavy burden. 
  • Being unhappy and discouraged by your body all the time wears you down.
  • Always feeling stressed to eat the right foods and to do the right exercises is a heavy load to bear.

All of these things are much “heavier” than the actual weight we may need to lose. 

Being able to lighten the burden of of our thoughts is MUCH MORE REWARDING than losing a few more pounds in one week. 

She was able to fight the temptation of disappointment and stay on this path of greater understanding, joy and peace because she was able to instead focus her life on the gifts of her day. 

From here, she will be able to now move forward toward an healthier body with a much lighter mental burden that will allow her to find True Health and success that no “diet” would have.

This is SURREND’hering.

I encourage anyone reading this to take the following steps to transform your MIND as well by asking yourself these 3 things.

  1. Are my current health goals really what God wants me to focus on or am I creating goals to fill some sort of void I have in my heart that only He can fill?

    If you find that you are not focusing on the right goals, take the time to pray and change them.  God will empower you and guide you if you ask Him.

  2. What are the small gifts that I encountered today that I can pick like a fresh flower bouquet? 

    Even if you’ve had a really crappy day so far, is there 1 or 2 things you can find that were unexpected gifts?  Perhaps you can start a journal too to see if you can get to 1,000 gifts?!

  3. What kind of mental weight am I bearing on my body that I need to lose before I can lose any physical weight?  Am I putting unrealistic expectations on myself?  Am I living only for others approval?  Am I taking on others burdens as my own? 

    Pray that God will show you how to unburden and share the “yoke” with Him so that you do not bear the weight all alone.

    SurrenderisInstersection

Final reminders that if any of you would like to also work with me for 1:1 Health Coaching, I have just a couple more spots available in my current roster.  You can check out the new 6-Part Module forum I’m offering in my 12-Week SURREND’her Health Transformation in this link HERE.  Feel free to reach out and contact me via email at amanda@amandawrightfit.com and I can answer any more questions you have!
  

Categories
Health Coaching

#1 Way to Stay Consistent!

We have all heard the saying, when it comes to seeing success in a health plan, “Consistency is King.”

Is that ever true?! I’ve seen friends and clients lose weight on a wide variety of approaches: High carb and low carb diets; High fat and low fat; High cardio and no cardio; Heavy weight training and yoga; Paleo diet and Vegan diets, some have even lost weight through becoming very flexible via yoga and increasing their libido to burn extra calories.

How do they do it?! You think it’s “just genetics?”-WRONG. Reseach indicates that our genetics only account for about 5% of our metabolic rate (the rate of which we burn our calories for energy).

Well, studies now confirm that the best diet to lose weight, is simply the one you’ll stick to. That’s right! It’s CONSISTENCY.

From where I stand, I know that for TRUE HEALTH it is not just about being consistent in your diet and exercise (i.e. your BODY) to be healthy, you must also be consistently strengthening your MIND and SPIRIT too!

For example, we cannot “fix” all of our negative thoughts that lead to negative actions by just one good day of mindful and positive thinking. We need to CONSISTENTLY give to this practice and build this “mental” muscle up to garner true health in this area.

Also, our relationship with God and our Spiritual strength must be nourished and strengthened on a consistent basis to truly unlock our Spiritual Power. It is not enough to say a prayer one day, accepting God into our hearts, and then do NOTHING for the rest of our lives. Consistently building our relationship with God is the only way to become Spiritually Strong. Period. End of story.

Well, as we know full well, as humans we struggle with consistency. We grow impatient for results and we resort back to the old bad habits that offer immediate gratification but also weaken our body, minds and souls to the sin they may serve.

So, today, I wanted to offer you the somewhat obvious, but often overlooked, tool that will help you stay CONSISTENT the MOST!

The often overlooked valuable tool for staying CONSISTENT is:

—->ACCOUNTABILITY<-----

Accountability is that person, procedure, or tool that helps you build the habit of consistency.

I have implemented several effective tools that helped to hold me accountable to my goals and therefore stay CONSISTENT with them. Since I want to make sure I am finding my TRUE HEALTH, not just my body’s health, I have implemented effective strategies for my BODY, MIND and SOUL.

Here are my best ways that I hold my self ACCOUNTABLE to stay CONSISTENT in these areas!

1. Body:

  • -Food Logs (My Fitness Pal, Food Journal etc)
  • -Personal Trainers
  • -Workout Buddies (Group Fitness Friends)
  • -Nutritionists
  • -Goal Tracking Strategies

I have hired and used all of the above in some capacity for years and years. For exercise, I will say the most effective and motivating accountability components are those that involve a COMMUNITY. I love doing things with others. It makes me feel like I belong a little more, pushing me to be stronger, and allows me to give back to others by pushing them.

I also love when another person gives me a workout to do, this way I’m pushed to do more than if I were to try to do my own. It really works for me, even as a trainer myself.

For NUTRITION, which we know is a solid 75-80% of your weight loss success, this one is more self-reliant so I have to hold myself more accountable with some tracking tools. Now, I’ve gone through phases with tracking and counting calories.

Logging our food doesn’t always work to our benefits and can often cause psychological distress. But if I simultaneously implement strong MENTAL andSPIRITUAL practices to keep me grounded, I really value the feedback and accountability that tracking can offer.

MyFitnessPal is my go-to app, but I’ve also been a fan of implementing my own on Google Drive so that I can make notes on hunger, cravings, emotions and food feelings too. This gives me much more to analyze and see areas for progress.

2. MIND:

  • -Journaling
  • -Mentorship
  • -Classes/Education Courses
  • -Reading
  • -Counseling/Therapy

This year, for accountability in learning and gaining WISDOM for my health I have signed up for a course and mentorship. I am part of a 11-month group of women called the “Best of You” coaching club led by the Fitness and Mindset guru, Jill Coleman from Jillfit.com. She teaches and mentors about 50 of us women who have started or want to start a online business in Fitness industry.

Paying money for, and engaging in a learning “COMMUNITY” again is very powerful in its motivation and accountability! This program was pretty expensive but worth it. The fact that I have paid for this service also really makes me USE this service. Have you ever noticed that tendency?

In the same way, I have also sought years of therapy and counseling from Licensed Therapists that can help me tackle some of my mental blocks from my past and present that I can’t see myself. I book appointments to attend and pay money for people that can help me think better. There should be absolutely no shame EVER for seeking greater understanding of your mind and hiring those people that can help you do that!

3. SOUL

  • -Findinga a Home Church
  • -Bible Study/Small Group
  • -Prayer Partner
  • -Online Prayer Support Groups

This year, I went out on a limb and reached out to a fellow Christian girlfriend to see if she would want to be my Prayer Partner (or what we call Prayer Warriors ;-)). I am so glad that I did because this relationship has been SO POWERFUL in keeping me spiritually strong. Having a sister in Christ to pray with and share your hopes and fears and all the tremendous ways that God is impacting our lives is so incredibly rewarding and empowering.

Historically however, the most life changing Spiritual events have usually happened at church and in fellowship with a COMMUNITY again. So stepping out, and making time for your Spiritual growth by sharing it in community with others is part of how God works in our souls! I physically feel God the most when I am praying with or around others at church or other small gatherings.

“For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.” Matthew 18:20

Well, while these options might seem like a giant check list of all the new accountability strategies you should now implement, I actually really just want to make things easier on you!

I privileged that I have an option that might just be your BEST SOLUTION to hold yourself accountable in ALL 3 areas: Mind, Body & Soul! –> It’s ME!

You see, I have been a personal trainer, group fitness instructor and nutritionist for years and (as you all know by now) have given up those wonderful careers in an effort to BE MORE for people and to help more in the REAL changes that need to occur for long-lasting weight loss to occur.

I love trainers and gyms and everything involved, but those accountability partners usually only cover those BODY goals. And while they might work to push us and strengthen us, it will come with a pretty expensive price tag ($75-$100/hour) and no guaranteed results! (Again, exercise is just 25% of the issue!)

So, embarking on VIRTUAL HEALTH COACHING venture was risky but has been WORTH IT for both myself and my clients!

I have become a TRIFECTA of Accountability Partners for these women and have pushed them all to gain strength in their BODYS, MINDS and SOULS all at once and am seeing some incredible results!

–Clients that were obsessive about their diets have been able to reign in their fear-based diet approach.
–Clients that were severely out of shape have found the exact steps to get back into shape.
–Clients that thought they needed to be overly restrictive and exercising all the time have found success on doing the least amount required and eating as much as possible!
–Clients that are ready to step out and do big bold things for their health, are conquering their dreams!

Up until now, my health coaching has just included these great services:

  • Weekly 30-60 minute phone call to connect and discuss their weekly goals.
  • A Self Empowered Guided Nutrition Plan
  • Lots of Personalized Strategies for goals
  • Daily Emails and Texts to Check In
  • ADD-On Option: Personalized Workouts

I have GREAT NEWS, right now, I’m offering all the same great services PLUS MORE all for about the same cost!!

Now, I have created a 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION Module Program that ensures you will LEARN what you need to learn in order to be successful in your health FOREVER.

Every 2-weeks, we will cover a very important topic that will educate you and get you thinking MORE about some important aspects of the BODY, MIND and SOUL that you MUST learn in order to achieve true strength.

I have chosen topics after carefully considering the most COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS and problems I’ve seen with clients as well as those most FREQUENT CONCERNS I have for MYSELF!

The 12-Week SURREND’her HEALTH TRANSFORMATION 6-Modules Include:

  1. SURREND’her Goal Development
  2. METABOLISM 101
  3. NUTRIENT-BASED Body
  4. EMPOW’hered TRAINING
  5. MIND MATTERS – (Patience, Comparing Yourself to Others, Addictions/Cravings etc.)
  6. SURREND’her to your WHY- Greater Purpose Week

So, here’s the deal, in order to be really effective as a Health Coach, I can’t have too many clients at once. It does not work to spread myself too thin. Therefore, I have to limit the number of clients I accept to this program.

Right now, I only have 3 Open Spots left available in my roster.

This will ensure that if you apply and are accepted for the 12-week transformation, you will get the best customer service care I can offer you and you can rest assured that I will be that accountability partner that you need!

I am offering FREE 20-Min phonecalls to anyone that wants to chat and see if we’re a “Wright Fit” for Virtual Coaching. Please email me at amanda@amandawrightfit.com to set that up!

Health Coaching with Amanda Wright

Categories
Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Goal Development

5 Proven Tips to Not Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals

So here we are, Wednesday. Hummmmmmmp Day!

Hump Day

By now, if you’re like most of us trying to be “healthier” you’re on day #3 this week of being “back on track” because inevitably over the weekend, you botched your healthy eating intention by over-eating or over-drinking and vowed to start to be “good” again on Monday. #AmIRight?

This is a dieters mentality and it took me years to stop this “Working for the Weekend” mindset. This is part of what I set out to teach clients and any reader is the power of your MINDSET in helping you accomplish any goal since what you THINK determines what you DO.

If you goal is FAT LOSS for example, taking the whole weekend “off” of healthy eating and fitness is not an effective strategy.

If your goal is MAINTENANCE, this strategy is perfect because you do need several days per week devoted to maintaining.

Since I’m in the business of helping people with their health goals, which 100% of them include FAT LOSS, I wanted to shed some light on this subject of changing up our MINDSET about weekends so we can have more success in our Fat Loss efforts!

I coach many a frustrated client who will work so hard all week, eating well, working out hard for 5 SOLID DAYS and then completely reverse all their progress in just 1 or 2 days of going overboard. That was me for years and years too.

Weekends are HARD. We want to feel rewarded and relaxed which naturally invoke a desire for delicious food and libations, our go to “reward” systems! We also don’t have our go-to routines and some of our weekends get so jam-packed with kids and sports and our social obligations that we don’t have the plans in place that help us to keep on track. These are all valid and understandable!

So what do we do about this natural tendency we have with the weekends when we want to lose fat?

Do you have to be PERFECT on the weekend?! NO WAY.

Being overly restrictive will NOT work and is really NO FUN. Life is about balance and JOY. It’s about working SMARTER not HARDER.

But, there are ways you can simply STRATEGIZE your weekends better that will make a difference! If you’re finding it hard to strategize then you can always use a resource like play sport which helps you organize going to a sports event near you. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people that can help get you through your weekend slump! Plus, you don’t need to limit yourself to weekend use of it as you could use it to improve your weekday fitness too.

Similarly, a lot of people find that team sports encourage them to keep up their fitness. However, if you aren’t into sports like football or rugby, don’t worry. There are other sports, like airsoft, that don’t feel like exercise but still count. With a team sport, it’s vital to perform to the best of your ability because you’re all working together to win. To get into something like airsoft, it might be worth looking at these Airsoft Guns the largest range in the UK. That way, you can improve your fitness whilst making new friends.

At A.Wight Fit, one thing I specialize in is Goal Development and real life strategies to help clients get to their desired health goals and fat loss. I have found these steps as the top strategies I use and my clients have used to see more success!

Top 5 Proven Tips to NOT Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals:

#1 Proven Tip: Don’t overly deprive yourself all week:

hungry

If you are eating far too few calories and doing far too much exercise, you are naturally be inclined to binge eat on the weekend because you’ve been starving yourself! It’s the law of “Metabolic Compensation“. Our bodies are hormonally going to fight to keep you at the weight you’ve been adjusted to. After just 5 days of eating too few of calories and/or exercising too much, you’re hunger hormones are going to go crazy. Ideally, your food and exercise should stay consistent straight through the week.

How do adjust: If you think you might be pushing too hard or restricting yourself too much, change JUST ONE of those aspects at first-not both. Don’t try to overhaul your regime all at once, that will likely result in weight gain that will make you freak out and overcompensate to eating even less and exercising even more. The goal here is to take just 1 aspect of your health and make a 10% adjustment in a healthier direction. So if you are doing 5 hours of cardio a week, you are going to need to cut back on aerobic cardio to actually help your metabolism and fat loss. This means you just cut back in 10% of your time this week. The next week you’ll decide if you’ll cut back again (10%) or hold there for 1 more week, etc.

#2 Proven Tip: Treat Your Weekend As It’s Own Goal & Write it down:Written Goals

Your life likely looks quite different during the weekend as it does during the week so make different habit goals to accommodate the different routines. Focus on just your weekend for a while. Work with the systems you currently have to make those goal changes. With all goals, you have a higher chance of success when you write down exactly what your goals are and the habits you want to enforce to get you there.

How to adjust: Choose 1-2 new habits you want to enforce just for the weekend to improve in your health and stick to those for a month before adding on new goals. Focus on progress, not perfection.

For example, if you normally go to Sunday brunch and order pancakes and bacon, your first habit to adjust is just what you plan on ordering at the Sunday brunch. Make small adjustments every week–what I call “Mini Goals.”

Weekend #1 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and Eat 1 Pancake and 3 egg whites + 1 slice of bacon.

Weekend #2 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch Eat 1/2 Pancake, 3 egg whites + 1slice of bacon.

Weekend #3 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and eat 1-2 bites of pancake, vegetable omelette and 2 slices of bacon.

Progress is Progress!

#3 Proven Tip: Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day- Weekend and Holidays Included:

Alarm Clock

This combines two of the most effective fat loss strategies- being consistent + getting enough sleep. Waking up at the same time every day, no matter what day of the week it is, will eventually allow your body to adjust to the Circadian Rhythms necessary to allow for effective sleeping habits and getting enough sleep will also extend the amount of time you are in the prime fat loss zone (fasting + increased growth hormone etc). If you have been finding it difficult to sleep, you may need to look into a new mattress. Researching key phrases such as ‘mattress reviews australia‘ can help you pick the best one for your sleeping patterns. Alternatively, recent research on the medical use of marijuana has highlighted the positive effect it can have on sleep deprivation and insomnia. These tiny bongs offer a discrete way of finding natural sleep relief. If this isn’t your kind of thing, we have some advice on adjusting below.

How to adjust: Set Your Alarm Clock in the morning and plan the reason WHY you’re getting up early on the weekend. So if you get up at 6am M-F, you’ll want to get up by 630am on the weekends too. But to do that, you’ll need a reason to get out of bed. It’s a perfect excuse to go hit up the gym and get your workout over with. Or it’s a great way to get up go to a Cafe, do some reading, your devotional, or work on other Mind and Soul goals you have. Creating a whole new Ritual out of your early mornings on weekends will be a special treat unto itself!

If you are tired at first, it will take an adjustment. If you need to take an afternoon nap at first, that’s fine, just keep it to the 20-min cat nap that’s been proven as most effective.

#4 Proven Tip: Mentally Prepare for the Weekend Reward:

Prepare

As humans we all know we use food and drinks as a reward system. This is not a bad thing unless your food reward and drink awards get out of control. High fat, high sugar and excessive alcohol tend to be the greatest “reward” in our brains and can often turn into unstoppable eating binges. SO, preparing for the exact thing you crave and planning where and when you have it will help you to control the natural tendency to let it get out of control.

How to adjust: Think of 1-2 healthier food options that are similar enough to your old bad habits. So instead of red wine all weekend, you’ll drink sparkling water with a splash of cranberry and then 1 really good glass of wine that’s worth it for you with dinner on Saturday night.

Think of 1-2 non-food ways to reward yourself during the weekend too. So instead of your whole weekend planning from brunch, to BBQ to dinner (i.e. all food items) make sure you have a pedicure, group workout class, a walk in the park, a coffee date with a friend or something NON-food related that will add some fun to your life.

#5 Proven Tip: Add some SOUL to your Sundays:

Sunday

Making sure you take one day in the weekend to get Spiritually aligned will help remind you of your “WHY” you are getting healthy to begin with. While this practice should not merely be practiced 1-day a week, it is great to have a day dedicated to thanking God for our creation and the wonder of our health blessings we have. It is not about RELIGION, but about building your personal relationship with God and doing this in COMMUNITY has been proven the most successful practice. You learn by listening to others who have more mature Faith than us. But the right fit might take a while to find. It might not be a church, but other spiritual practices you do in community with others. Building this through the weekend is the best way to carry it out into the week as well. It sets your heart on the right path again.

How to Adjust: Commit to going to church, watching a sermon/program online with others, or even going on a Spiritual or Prayer walk or hike to get your Spiritual alignment. Pray for your health, for greater wisdom on your health and how you are to use your body and your health to fulfill God’s Greater Purpose in your life.

Try out 1-2 of these new tips this weekend and see if you feel a greater sense of REWARD by Monday morning!

Categories
Spiritual Health

Watershed Anniversary: Top 10-Lessons I’ve Learned Since June 1, 2013

I woke up on this day, June 1, exactly two years ago “ready” for a big day, but what actually came to be, would be far bigger than I ever imagined.

We all have these days, called Watershed moments, that change the course of our history.  This day is the anniversary for which my life has never been the same.

June 1, 2013, I did my first, and only, bikini competition.  But also the day that my then ex-boyfriend, now husband, Howard, came back into my life.    

Howard and I at Bikini

At the time, I had not seen Howard in about 18-months as he surprised me and showed up to my competition, flying in from California.  He had seen me in many shapes and forms over our 5-year history at that time, but he was surprised  that there was a lot MORE of me to see in that itty bitty bikini, but also a lot LESS of me to see as I was about 35-lbs lighter than when he and I had first started dating. 

As I have written about before, I was using the show in-part as an effort to teach myself the lessons in nutrition and fitness so I could be a better nutritionist and trainer.

  The other reason, and what I consider my “real” reason I took to such extreme measures to attain the “perfect body,” was to fill a void in my soul that had been caused from years of body image disorders. 

What I learned from this experience was that God is the only thing that can fill the gaps in our hearts and souls.  As happy as I thought I was going to be by getting such a “perfect” body, I was joyless, sad, lonely and ashamed.

While this experience has been truly significant in shaping who I am as a woman and now teacher of TRUE Health (in Body, Mind and Soul) I must admit that finding my love again, my Howard, would be the real reason to celebrate this day in my history.    

IMG_0575

My life as I knew it was going to drastically change from my single-girl, independent, successful life in Denver, CO to the love wrecked, whirlwind, jet-setting, never-a-dull-moment life I now live! 

Over these last two-years, I must admit that it has felt like huge juggernaut after juggernaut have been thrown in my way, all of which have been tremendous blessings but most certainly demanding quick adaptation, character development and growth—none of which are easy all the time.    

Being single, then bride, then wife and step-mom!
Being employed, then unemployed, then entrepreneur!
Being renter, then home-owner, then “interior designer” x 2!
Being new girl in one new city and then 14-months later being new girl in another new city.
Being healthy, then disabled with a back injury, then a new kind of healthy and strong!
Being in the leanest shape of my life, to back to the not-so-lean shape and being OK WITH THAT! 
Being a narrowly traveled woman then to a jet-setting, never home kind of woman.
Being ME then WE.    

I praise God that He has helped me to adapt as best as I can to a flip-flopped life.  I am woefully imperfect at some transitions and surprisingly adept at others.  I could not have done any of it without God in my heart guiding me along the way.   I have learned so much from Him! 

So, in honor of this marked personal anniversary,  I’d like to share the:

Top 10 Watershed Lessons I’ve Learned in the last 2-years!

  1. TRUST YOUR HEART:
    Howard and I had broken up at least 3 times in the 7-years it would take for us to walk down the aisle, so when he came back to me and told me I was the “One,”  I had plenty of cause for pause and contemplation.  But in the end, it was not about logic and what society would say about second (or third) chances, it was about what my heart said.  I prayed and prayed for several weeks and knew my heart was always his and that God had called us together.

    The same could be said from the experience of my bikini show.  I written once before how I knew in my heart this show was not what God was calling me to do, yet I did it any way.  I am so fortunate that God forgives us when we don’t listen and will find a way to bless and bring purpose from our mistakes.  Howard coming to my show would be part of that purpose. All the lessons I can teach others would be the other.

  2. YOU CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE, BUT GOD CAN:  People try to tell us that “people don’t change,” but that’s not true.  God changes people all the time.  I tried and tried to change my stubborn husband (full disclosure: I still do “try” sometimes…or all the time) all those years of dating, but in the end, he had to learn from within.  (Mental note to stop “trying”).

    The same can be said for me.  Howard loves me at any weight I come in (in fact the curvier the better in most ways!), but I was never trying to lose weight for him, or any man.  It was always because of a lie in my mind telling me I had to be more worthy.  God changed my heart to change my mind and allows me to see the beauty I am at all shapes and sizes.

  3. FORGIVENESS IS THE GREATEST GIFT WE GIVE OURSELVES:
    We all go through pains and do stupid things in our life.  Being able to forgive someone for a serious wrong they have done is a gift to them, certainly, but it is a gift to ourselves most.  To unburden our hearts of the pain and to restore your Faith that God will help you all find a way to make it right and well again will change your life. 

    In the same way, forgiving ourselves for our own mistakes is a tremendous gift that will drastically change the course of our lives toward the path that God has chosen for us.

  4. MORE MONEY DOESN’T GIVE YOU MORE JOY, BUT GOD DOES:
    I am not ashamed to admit it, while I was perfectly successful and content on my own, I was looking forward to the travel and the house and excitement that being married to an extremely hard-working and accomplished man would provide as an added bonus to life.  But I would quickly learn, that just having worldly success and the blessing of “things” does not give you more JOY or peace.   

    My most joyful moments still come from those areas where God dwells most—those things money can’t buy.   In hearing my husbands laugh, being silly dancing with my step daughter, taking long walks holding hands, or talking with my mom or girlfriends on the phone.  My single most joyful feeling are those times where God’s love just fills my soul for no apparent reason.  The “stuff” is nice and is still a blessing, but certainly not what makes me truly HAPPY.  I am blessed to realize this.

  5. OUR MINDS GOVERN OUR BODY:
    What I think about most becomes my life or as Descartes said it,  “I think, therefore I am.” For most of my life, I would obsessively worry about my body and what I was eating, causing stress that caused me to over eat and then obsess even more.  This cycle would cause the yo-yo affect that would lead me down the bikini competition path way. 

    My thoughts also change the stress responses to my body for every day function.  Whatever we think about grows.  So if we focus on our problems, they grow.  If we focus on our blessings, they grow!   It impacts our BODY in every way:  how we walk, talk, work and love.

  6. OUR SOULS GOVERN OUR MINDS:
    I learned from a very poignant moment I realized that all of us suffer from LIES in our head that are not just mindset problems, but SPIRITUAL problems.   Learning that the devil preys on those very areas of our minds that are most susceptible is the number one strategy he uses to destroy our Faith and Happiness. 

    The same lesson was learned by my husband as there was a LIE he had perpetually repeated about how he was incapable of marriage that had to take years of counseling and deep soul work to re-wire in his thoughts.   We are blessed that we serve a God that sets us back on the Rock of Truth.

  7. HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS:  All it takes is a solid two-years of traveling to realize it doesn’t matter the house (or hotel), but it matters where your heart is.  Building a “home” requires only the foundation in your heart and soul that you take with you wherever you are together.

  8. “Marriage is not designed to make us HAPPY, but to make us HOLY.”
    This quote was from my Pastor, Alan Kraft, of Christ Community Church in Greeley, Co.  I didn’t quite get it at the time but I am getting it now!  I have written before that my husband is my greatest teacher for me—he serves as a MIRROR to me and I am a MIRROR to him.  We love it when our mirrors properly reflect the love of God in our hearts.  But there are times where we see quite clearly that they reflect our flaws and selfish sin.  These are hard lessons.  But I praise God because I would never have seen these things without my husband.  For better or worse, he is making me the Holy woman God wants me to be and I am doing to same for him.

  9. PRAYER SAVES:
    My communication levels with God have never been so frequent and ongoing.  These rapid and great changes in my life can naturally evoke a lot of fear, but because I find constant relief as I give these fears over to God in prayer, I wind up praying much more now than I ever have.  He has given me comfort in tough trials, bravery to step out in Faith, a companion in the times of loneliness, and a place where I can praise and thank Him for his abundant blessings.

  10. YOU CAN’T MESS WITH A MAN’S FOOD:
    Funny that God should bring a “Nutrient-Based”, nutrition girl to become “One” with a Veggie-Hating man, but alas, here we are.  I learned VERY early on that trying to become my husbands “Health Coach” was not going to happen.  I struggle with this (eh hmm…A LOT) some times, mainly because my sin of obsessing about food for myself still discourages me.   But most of the time I just have to throw my hands up in the air and laugh.  I hear this from nearly all of my clients and happily married women I know….you just don’t go there.    

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Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

10-Day #SpiritualDETOX

Do you ever wake up in your life and just feel OFF kilter? Your body feels off, which makes your mind feel off? And when both those are off you can bet your behind that your Spirit is affected too!

Well, continuing on what I call my #blessedlifetour2015, I have just returned from a 13-day trip traveling from where we live in Northern California down to San Diego, up to Los Angeles, back to San Diego, out to Munich, Germany, on to Paris, France and finally back home just last night!

I woke-up today feeling ALL KINDS OF OFF!

I want to first acknowledge some areas where I did really well this trip. As many of you may have read, I recently made some pretty deep changes to my WINE consumption and l am very proud to report that in the last 2 weeks, I only consumed 1.5 total glasses of wine which included only about 3 sips of wine the entire time I was in Europe! #ProgressisProgress

Now mind you, had I chosen to drink wine in Munich or Paris, it would have been great and probably worth it. But before I went on the trip, I made a deal with myself and my usual “vices” (which are sweets and alcohol). I decided I was going to give in to the sweets and desserts and just say no to the wine-o. These are just strategies I implement to help myself from going completely off the tracks!

But, what I didn’t have in wine, I definitely made up for in FOOD!

How about this….

German Apple Strudel, Augustiner Klosterwirt
German Apple Strudel

Or maybe even this….

Cafe Laduree legendary Macaroons
Cafe Laduree legendary Macaroons

Annnnnd let’s not forget these happened too…..

Euro Food

If I’m being really honest, some of my desserts didn’t even make it to “picture” status because I had already dove in head first before I had a chance to snap a photo!

Yeah…..I’d say sugar is my “drug of choice!”

I woke up every day with a sugar headache that I would attempt to nurse, along with my jet lag, with copious amounts of caffeine in coffee and tea. I was fully aware of this lose, lose situation I was putting myself in.

This combined with sleep being off, extra rich German and French foods, and 100% of my meals being either packaged goods I brought from home or delicious restaurant richness, I clearly overdid it over the last 2 weeks and my usually clean-eating body feels it!

So, as I do whenever I feel this OFF in my body, I engage in an intentional eating plan for a set amount of time to help myself DETOX some of the chemical addictions wrecking havoc on my bod. In this case I am going to do a 10-Day DETOX.

If you have never tried to rid yourself of your vices, I highly encourage you to give this a shot for 10-days! For most of my clients that do some form of body detox, they often don’t know how bad they feel until they rid themselves of some of the “crud” in their system and feel so amazing!

When you hear the word, DETOX, you might be thinking “Juice Fast” or some sort of extreme starvation strategy out of guilt I have for indulging while away. I know there are a lot of green juice mixes on the market, and my friends live for the ones made in Australia.

But that’s not at all what I mean when I say DETOX.

In fact, what I mean when I say DETOX is actually not only just about food or drink choices. No, no. I make my DETOX about ridding myself of things much more than just food and drinks. Yes, there are some people who find that having a detox can help them with a much needed cleanse. Some even take that extra step further and get a detox machine to help give them that much needed support. Doing research online could help you find the best detox for you, but for me it’s a little different.

Why? Because I know that the reason why my body feels so off is NOT just about the foods that I was putting into it. I know that so much of what I experience as I travel is related to much more than just my BODY, but it is also resorting the old bad habits from my MIND and my SOUL too.

So where many health professionals and holistic practitioners might only focus on what foods to eat and not eat, I am going to make it a 10-DAY SPIRITUAL DETOX to help ALL of those things that I lost as I was away-BODY, MIND and SOUL.

WHAT MAKES MY SPIRITUAL DETOX DIFFERENT THAN OTHER’S?

EASY = EFFECTIVE– I’m not about juicing your own juices or buying all the detox supplements in the world. Eat real food and become more body and mind aware through this 10-days and you’ll feel truly healthy!

BALANCED = BEAUTY-By detoxing out some of the unhealthy body, mind and spiritual habits I will unveil the true beauty within. Those detoxes that advocate just those food/drink/chemical (i.e BODY) related aspects might put a nice bandaid on the wound, but eventually when the 10-days are up, you’re back to bleeding just as you were before. By focusing on the mindset behind those bad habits and the depth of spiritual need beneath it all, you will find true beauty from wounds healing themselves.

FOOD = FUELED-I don’t do the all-liquid type of detoxes for a variety of reasons.
I believe in eating real food, not drastically changing your diet into an all liquid trend. I believe this will make it doable, more rewarding and less punishable all while being just as effective! To maintain your metabolism, you’re going to need to get right amount of protein, carbs and fats in an appropriate amount of calories. Cutting out entire food groups (and textures) will have an adverse consequence on your metabolism!

SPIRITUAL DETOX GUIDE!

BODY DON’TS:

  1. Chemical Stimulants: Caffeine
    Caffeine is the worlds largest chemical stimulant addiction we have. So many of us over consume the recommended amounts (which is 300mg of caffeine a day). Also, metabolically speaking, Caffeine can be a major hormone disruptor that can affect our ability to lose weight. It stimulates a release of Adrenalin and Cortisol (what’s referred to as our Fight or Flight responses) that cause our fat metabolism to slow way down. (Source: Dr. Jade and Keoni Teta, Metabolic Effect). Now, I promise I won’t make you give up Caffeine forever! Once you rid your body of the intense addiction, adding it back in before a workout will be helpful for your metabolism! Green tea is the best!
  2. Chemical Sedative: Alcohol
    Alcohol is high calorie sugar that has a whopping 7 calories per gram which are considered “empty” because of the lack of nutrients. In fact, it actually has “negative” nutrients because it steals Calcium and Magnesium and others from our bodies in order to digest it. Alcohol is another example of a metabolic shut down substance. According to Prevention Magazine, just 2 drinks will shut down our fat metabolism by 73% for the following 4 hours!
  3. Sugar (all forms including honey, raw forms, agave nectar , etc so check every label!)
    Another negative nutrient that steals from our bodies without giving back. Studies have shown that rats became addicted to Sugar much more than even Crack Cocaine! The main affect on sugar, besides the addictiveness, is the insulin surge that comes running in to our systems and then crashes a short time later. Research has shown that much slower forms of carbohydrates have a much more body friendly reaction.
  4. Artificial Sweeteners and Flavors
    These artificial sweeteners are just as addictive as the real stuff but have some horrible consequences if abused. Even if you don’t consume enough to cause the cancer that studies had shown it to cause, your body still may have a negative reaction by triggering an increase in hunger and cravings according to some studies. Also, according to other studies, it might also cause an inflammation response in your lower GI tract which can cause glucose intolerance and digestive issues.
  5. All Dairy:
    Dairy one of those foods that many people actually have a adverse reaction to and some form of intolerance of which they don’t know until they’ve gone without it! Some opinion indicates that adult bodies were not made to need milk like infants do, but it might more commonly be just from a gradual decline in the enzyme lactase that breaks down dairy sugar, lactose, that is the real issue. Give your GI tract a rest in dairy can see some very big changes. (TIP: Add in fortified almond mil or dairy free yogurt to make sure you are still getting your Calcium! )
  6. All Gluten (wheat, rye, barley, oats, spelt, kamut):
    While a true allergy to gluten is rare (called Celiac Disease) it seems as though gluten intolerance is much more common. While it might be due to the way that the grains are manufactured in America, it is often worth giving up gluten for a while to see if you start to feel less inflamed in the GI tract or joints. Since there are a variety of gluten free grain options out there, this should not be too hard to plan.

BODY DO’S:

  • Eat as many Veggies and Fruits as you want! Shoot for 10+ servings a day.
  • Eat whole, unprocessed foods when you’re hungry and stopping at about 80% full (usually about every 3-5 hours).
  • Eat protein, green vegetables, and colored vegetables at every meal. Add in healthy fats and whole carb sources for most meals too.
  • If you buy something from the store, check the label to make sure it has only real food ingredients and all things you can pronounce.
  • Drink lots of water, herbal tea (not green/white tea or even decaf coffee as they still have some caffeine), coconut water, kombucha (without sugar added), sparkling water (without artificial ingredients added).
  • Eat healthy carb sources like sweet potatoes, gluten free rolled oats, squash, carrots, corn, quinoa, brown/wild rice, beans, beets etc.
  • Eat healthy fat sources like avocado, coconut, olive oil, nuts, fresh nut butters, seeds, etc.

MIND & BODY:

Detox Out the Idolatry of Food: Food becomes an easy idol for us because it’s delicious and gives us immediate gratification senses to our brain. But even though it triggers a “reward” sensation in our brain, does not mean that we should always use it as a reward. In fact, the purpose of detoxing our overly food obsessed parts of ourselves is to rewire our brains to remind us of what a REAL REWARD HEALTH IS! There is no reward like having a healthy body, mind and Spiritual connection to God.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Luke 4:4, Deuteronomy 8:3)

ADD IN: Give this idol (along with all others) to God. Seek God first and you will have no choice but to place all things, including food, after Him. Using prayer, mindful eating and journaling about your meals is a great way to keep it all in perspective.

Detox Out the Busy-ness: So often we run around like chickens with our heads cut off just for the sake of feeling more “worthy” because we think “busy” equates to needed and in high-demand. Well not during this 10-days. We are going to slow it down and stop running so fast. Slowing down allows us to catch onto God’s timing…which is slow, patient and PERFECT.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:28-30 ESV

ADD IN: Cut down your TO-DO list. Pick only those top 3-5 things you have to get done in that day and do them first. Take breaks regularly, rest, go for walks, make time for God, make time for others, and SLOW DOWN. You’ll be pleasantly surprised that your life doesn’t fall apart and your stress levels will fall down too!

Detox Out the People Pleasing: Often times we worry so much about making health changes for ourselves because we don’t want to offend others or are afraid they won’t accept it. Well for 10-days we are going to be intentional about our actions and the motivation behind them. We won’t do things without first examining if this is what God is asking you to do. Are you doing things from a place of love and empowerment? Or are you just saying what others want too hear?

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 ESV

ADD IN: Filling yourself up with the love of God will give you His peace and power. Asking God with every step along the way to guide you and help you in your strength. From that space you will no longer seek ways of your insecurity and people pleasing, but you will seek ways to serve God. It will involve loving others, but respecting yourself first.

Detox Out Self-Serving tendencies: Even though this will be about getting our health in check, we know that a truly Spiritually healthy person is here not just to serve oneself, but to serve God and to serve others. This could also cover our sexual relations. There are many reasons that people have sex, but those who are healthy spiritually don’t have sex just for their own satisfaction.

“Don’t be concerned for your own good but for he good of others.” 1 Corinthians 10:24 NLT

ADD IN: Write a note to someone every day, do random acts of kindness, plan to help a friend or coworker who is in need, do whatever you can do to make your life less self involved. You’ll find when you focus on serving and loving others, you won’t be focusing on your idols and food! As for the sex, add in Tantric sex; this is all about connection and reaching for a type of spiritual enlightenment which will help you to develop a deeper connection with your partner, enhancing your relationship no end.

SO, ARE YOU IN?

You might think this sounds too hard or painful, but I assure you, it is NOT as hard as continuing to live the high-stress, unhealthy, body-inflammed, soul-dampened, manner we are living now. Just 10-Days is all it takes to wake your body, mind and soul UP to a higher level! YOU WILL FEEL AMAZING! And, it’s only 10-Days. Give up your excuses and give UP your HEALTH. With God, all things are possible.

Here’ a cheat sheet that will break it all down for you! For a printable PDF, click HERE.
(Emails are taken just as a measure of counting downloads)

L

Categories
Food & Nutrition Health Coaching

4 Ways to Handle Unsupportive Friends When You’re Trying to Be Healthy!

Naysayers

The other day, I was on my weekly call with one of my clients and she had just experienced a lunch outing that I was very familiar with. 

Now, my client has made a lot of progress over the course of the last 6-12 months.  Having turned 40, something has been sparked inside her and she has been in hot pursuit of her health and her life!  She has lost over 27 lbs and has sparked a passion for strength training and fitness that she has never felt before!  In fact, 2 months ago, she hired me to help her achieve a big dream of possibly doing a Bikini Competition or a Fitness Photoshoot. 

In other words, she has just pushed the “GO” button on pursuing a dream that is out of her comfort zone!  It’s big, bold and audacious, and she is doing it a SMART way by hiring someone like me to make sure she is staying balanced, level-headed and doesn’t lose herself in a quest for a fit body.  We have seen incredible progress so far!  She’s a shining example!

However, with such audacious goals she and I both know that she has to be very consistent and mindful of her nutrition.  In any Fat Loss effort, your NUTRITION is ~75% of the solution!  She already trains about 4x/week and works out HARD, but if her nutrition is not on point, there is little hope that her metabolism will spark up enough to continue to lose enough body fat to reach her goals.

Well, this week she experienced an outing with some of her coworkers that I have experienced dozens of times before—what I’ll call the “Girls Who Lunch Conundrum.”  

They all went to the standard restaurant chain, ordered a fried appetizer, sandwiches and fries, and I’m guessing diet sodas too.  My client declined on eating the appetizer and ordered a chicken salad with dressing on the side. I am so proud!

Well, as you can imagine that she got quite of bit of slack for being the “only healthy one” at the table.   They made jokes and little snippy comments and really bummed her out.   I’ll call this reaction the “naysayer” reaction.  

Naysayers

She came to me on our call feeling a little defeated.  She said, “I’m just trying to be healthy for myself and they try to make me feel guilty about it.  I’m not judging them for their food choices at all, I’m just not choosing not to eat them.  I don’t see why they are judging me for my food choices.”

You can imagine how she feels right?!  I mean, haven’t we all been there?  I know that I have felt this exact same way with not only acquaintance type of friends (the coworker variety) but also with some of my closest friends, and family members. This is exactly what I discussed on my 5-Part Series called WINE NOT?!  too.  The social implications of being healthy can be the hardest!

Being healthy can sometimes make you feel like you are on an island all alone. Not only are you battling the urge blow off your new healthy food and exercise habits, but you are now also battling some of your closest friends and family who are not exactly supporting you!

download

What I learned over the years of being the “healthy one” at the restaurant has allowed a shift in perspective and spiritual awareness that has made a monumental difference in how I handle the snippy little comments from people or simply any friend or family member that just doesn’t “get it” with regards to my health choices.

I shared these lessons with my client on our call and I am sharing them with you today too!

4 Ways to Handle Your Unsupportive Friends:

1. You can Empathize with Their Defensiveness:

Before you started to make all these tough health choices for yourself, you knew just what it was like to be in their shoes.  You can remember all those times that you used food as a coping mechanism for your own stress and can empathize with the fact that they are feeling insecure and defeated by their own choices. 

Empathy

In the situation for my client, all of her coworkers were professional women that had small children at home.  So they worked all day and had families to care for at night and all had some weight to lose.   I reminded her how they must be feeling on the inside.  Their stress is likely so high that they saw the fried appetizer and the sandwich and french fries as their best solution to cope with that stress.  They see their food choices as their “reward” for their hard work.  All too common and we can all relate.      

Now mind you, they are wrong.   Those food choices are actually making their stress worse in many ways because they are getting way too much fat (especially trans fats) and not nearly enough nutrients which would help their bodies physically deal with the cortisol and adrenaline (e.g. the stress hormones) much better.   

But I simply reminded my client that they just haven’t learned that lesson for themselves yet.   She is lucky that she has!

The same goes for all of us. If we can detach from our reactions for a beat and simply take the perspective of their journey and understand that their reaction is not about you at all, but rather is  a symptom of their own struggle, then you are able to detach and move on.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

How Others Treat You

Empathy takes away their power and ability to change you.  Empathy gives you a stronger mindset that will stop the event from festering in your mind and consume any part of your energy.    Empathy allows you to move on unfazed. 

2. You Can Realize that God Didn’t Design You to be Defensive Either:

This one is a big one and a more challenging one to grasp but really important.  It is all too easy to use someone’s defensive behavior as an excuse to react defensively ourselves. 

We all do it:

Someone criticizes you and in return you criticize them.

Someone questions your actions or beliefs and you immediately want to question their actions and beliefs right back.

We must all realize that this is our own sin that will not serve us or our Greater Purpose. 

I was reminded in a book I read recently called “Good News for Those Trying Harder,” by Pastor Alan Kraft that some of the most overlooked sins in our lives are the following:

  • Gossiping
  • Complaining
  • Criticizing
  • Boasting
  • Shifting Blame
  • Defensiveness
  • Deceiving Others

The author challenged me to try to go 1-week without doing any of the above. 

…I lasted about 20-minutes. Ha! 

So often, we think just because we are doing something good for ourselves that we now have the right to judge others for not catching on with us yet.  

This is called being “Self Righteous.” 

To me, this is the number one sin that many Christian people have today.  That we can get caught up thinking  just because we are “Christian” that we are some how “better than” or “above” everyone else. We don’t realize that this very thinking is a sin itself! 

Now, I could clearly get into a theological tangent here, but I won’t.

Suffice it to say, all of us must hold ourselves accountable for our reactions and stop worrying about theirs.

If we want them to stop being defensive with us, we first just learn to not react defensively either. 

If we want them to support us, we better be sure that we are already supporting them!

God did not design us to react this way and we must recognize our own sin and focus on bettering ourselves first!

“Let ye among you without sin be the first do condemn.”

First Stone

3. You Can Give More Love Because You Have Love:

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in life is very few relationships are actually 50/50.

If you find yourself being the one that always seems to give more effort in your relationships, this can often harbor feelings of resentment within you. 

But for those that find the courage and ability to SURREND’her your life up to God, means that you can experience a fulfillment of love on unprecedented levels.

By opening up your soul to the love of God to fill you up causes a massive shift in all of your relationships. 

You realize, you depend less on other people’s love, affirmation and validation because you have more than enough of all of that from God. 

This is also the case for our friends and family that don’t understand or criticize our health and behavior.   

We can love them back, even in their criticism, because we have enough love to give.  We don’t have to depend on their praise or affirmation.  We have all we need from God.

Cup Overflows

4. You can be a Student and a Teacher:

I have come to understand that my friends, family members and acquaintances in my life come to me with a purpose—-I can both learn and teach!

Be A Student:  By opening yourself up to the empathy and understanding from lesson #1 you learn so much!  This creates a better version of you!  Always strive to gain wisdom and understanding in this world and realize these circumstances and people are the tools that will give you that.

Be a Teacher:  Now this is not to say that you need to tell all your friends exactly what they need to be doing.  Umm….no!  That will probably get the opposite reaction than the one you hope for! 

Instead, you teach them by doing. 

So whether my client or her coworkers realized it right then too, she was serving as a valuable teacher for them.  She showed them that it is possible to stare something like fried asparagus in the face and not eat it.  It is possible to order healthy foods at typically unhealthy places.  It is possible to create big, audacious goals and to actually stick to them and conquer them!

As Mahatma Gandhi said,  “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” 

Be the change

My personal and mission for A.Wright Fit is found from Matthew 5:16.  I want to “Let my Light  Shine Before Others so that They May See (My) Good Deeds and Glorify my Father in Heaven.”

Matt 5-16

I encourage us all to continue to be the best versions of ourselves so that we can shine a light on others to be the best version of themselves!

Categories
Food & Nutrition Goal Development Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

What Do I Eat? Usually, my emotions….

When Craving Doesn't Come From Food

I am hands down an emotional eater. I use food as both a reward and coping mechanism. Joy and stress alike make me want to eat. When I was preparing for my wedding, everyone kept telling me how much weight I’ll lose at the end because “you’ll be so stressed.” Well, they were half right. I was indeed stressed! But I didn’t lose a ton of weight at the end. Why? Well, because stress makes me EAT. A friend of mine noticed this and recommended I tried something like og kush strain to help calm my nerves. I understood where she was coming from, as stressing out never helps anyone. But alas it’s too late and I just wanted to eat. Not the mention the whole celebration part of it too. Celebrating makes me want to EAT too! So, let’s just say that “sitting” in my wedding dress would have been a cool thing, but it didn’t really happen for me. But, hey, the pictures looked great, so I still consider that a win! 😉

Well, they say you are supposed to “Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat.” But I’m pretty sure 75% of my current meals are the “living to eat” variety. My emotions keep me tied to my food much tighter than I would like to admit, especially as a nutritionist and health coach. I also don’t have one client who is not the same as me too, so I would imagine you might have some similar feelings on food as well.

My emotional eating doesn’t necessarily impact my health negatively because I’m actually emotionally connected to really healthy foods too. I am lucky that I have learned this otherwise I’m quite sure I would be just like every overweight and obese person out there. But I still know that even when I’m eating healthy foods, I have a strong tendency to overeat on a regular basis. Due to my addiction to healthy food though, it’s not as much of a problem for me. However, for those who don’t eat healthily, emotional eating can cause obesity pretty quickly. This health condition can put individuals at risk, meaning that they need to do something about it promptly. The first thing to do would be to try and stop emotional eating. From there, it’s important to try and lose weight. This can be difficult and can lead to people giving up before they’ve even started as results won’t happen overnight. However, if you’re struggling to lose weight, you might be able to get bariatric surgery to help you. Perhaps it’s worth getting in touch with Dr. Naveen Ballem, or another specialist, to see if they can help you make an important change.

My strong cravings for food tied to my emotions allow me to know that there is something about my inability to stop eating at times that is just not well with my soul. It is a sign of a Spiritual battle more than just a food thing.

So, this led me to pick up a very good book by Lysa TerKeurst called “Made to Crave.“ In it, she reveals her own journey in junk food addiction and struggle with being overweight and how she was able to fill her life with God more and food less. A journey I can vividly relate to as this is my desire as well.

The Emotional addiction of food is the true concern and threat of this idol. We do know that we need food to survive, but we need not treat food as it is something to worship.

Her book taught and motivated me to do some spiritual and biblical research on food and how we are supposed handle our own cravings. This two part blog series will cover:

  • Part 1. What does the Bible say about food and our cravings?
  • Part 2. How can I take these passages and create a practical plan to overcome my eating?
  • thinking-food

Part 1:

While food is a blessing in our life, the full dedication of one of our 5 senses in taste, it can serve as an agent of destruction to our soul. The apostle Paul writes:

“For as I have often told you before and now say again with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is their shame.“ (Phil 3:18-19)

Our human nature can easily become consumed with food. Our days can be filled living only meal to meal. Obsessively planning our diets and fantasizing our indulgences. DietAlso, the gift of flavor from real, true food, has been manipulated and exploited by the food industry for capital gain (a byproduct of another damning idol of our humanity –> greed).

However, we cannot to just shift the blame of our food issues to the manufacturers… or worse to God himself for our emotional and physical addiction to food by saying “God made me this way.” For God did not make us to crave anything but God himself.

We must recognize the power and opportunity to strengthen our Faith and deny ourselves of our idols (i.e. food) to grow closer to God.

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily to follow me.“ (Luke 9:23)

Nor should we “worry” about our diet and what we shall eat.

“Do not set your heart on what you will eat and drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after such things and your Father knows that you need them.“ (Luke 12:29-31)

So what are we to do? I know for me, this feels like a seismic and impossible shift in my psyche and what I think about all day long. Food is simply one of my favorite things to think and worry about.1a944a2f712afee99e126a02c9c2cda9

But, as is my own business model presents, I must take heed to my own words. If I want to change what I “think” about, I need to dig deeper to the depths of my Spirit. The best way to detach my mind and my focus away from food is not to make sweeping statements about what I will “not do.”

To over-consume my thoughts with phrases like “I will not be consumed by food or controlled by my cravings of (x, y, z)” all my subconscious mind hears is “food, food, food” causing us to think of nothing else but–> food.

To overcome any battle, we much instead engage our inner spirit to the task. Turning our hearts on what will feed us from within, not what will not.

“Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.“ (Matthew 4:4)

“My food, said Jesus, is to do the will of Him who sent me to finish His work.” (John 4:34)

These passages give us our answer of spiritual focus for fulfillment:

  1. Focus on the word of God
  2. Focus on God’s will for our lives (i.e. our Greater Purpose).

Just as God made Jesus for a Greater Purpose (to live perfectly but die for our sins) he also made you for a Greater Purpose. (For more on what Greater Purpose is click on this past article HERE).

SURREND’hering our spirit UP distracts our feeble minds from our sinful nature and attachment to food. It is not the FOOD that is the sin, but how we treat it.

“For everything in the world- the cravings of a sinful man (…) comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1 John 2:15-16)

Instead of obsessing over our food choices or overindulging in unhealthy foods, we can

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.“ (Psalm 34:4)

Feeding on the spirit does not mean we will give up food or fast for the rest of our lives! Don’t mistake my point of this calling. We must all still eat.

But SURREND’hering our emotional connection to food and exposing the idol that it can be for many of us will allow our minds to break free from the stronghold that food/drink addictions and obsessions with food can be.

This ranges from everything from compulsive eating, mindless eating and obsessively tracking and counting your food or any other act of food obsession. If your mind thinks about food more often than it thinks about God then we have work to do. (Both of my hands are raised up in the air for this one!!)

411a4ni2oVL._SY355_We must realize that God did not design us to be hangry.

God did not design us to uncontrollably eat and gorge ourselves on food or drink.

God did not design us to obsessively track every calorie or macronutrient.

God designed us to use the food he gave us a fuel.

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To trust and have faith that there will always be enough for us. We must find a way to be content in all situations. As the apostle Paul said,

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:12)

We can detach from food and find contentment by turning our spirit and our attention to the word of God more, to our relationships with Him, and to our Greater Purpose for which we were designed.

“Your words were found and I ate them and your word was to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.” (Jeremiah 15:16)

LIVE in the Spirit of Joy for life. LIVE in the Spirit of true fulfillment by consuming God’s love more abundantly than food.

“So I say to you, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of your sinful nature.” (Galatians 5:16)

I hope my article and these scripture verses help to bring awareness and conviction for our depth of need in this area of food and the nature of our cravings. I hope it also points out that if you are a person that emotionally struggles with food, you are not alone!! It might surprise you that there are so many references to FOOD in the Bible, I know it surprised me! If it’s in the Bible, it means it’s been a real struggle for human for centuries! But more than that I hope this gives you some hope that with these passages are the answers to our problems. The Bible tells us where we can take our emotional struggle with Food and how we can use it to grow closer with God.

But, I know that often times after reading the Bible, I need an idea of how to take the scriptural context to my real life . I’m a person that needs some practical application to fixing this need in our souls and help find our paths to true health of Body, Mind and Soul.

Therefore….

Look for Part 2 tomorrow on some ideas of practical implementation and affecting real change in your life.

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Looking in the Mirror Naked

Looking in the Mirror

My role as a health coach is incredibly rewarding.  I get to connect with a group of intelligent, brave, incredible women who are willing to open themselves up to me (often times someone they’ve never met) with their hopes, dreams and insecurities about their bodies and their health.

While I’ve had to get over my own insecurities about feeling “fit enough” or “healthy enough” to actually offer advice to anyone else, I know that this role is something I was designed for.  It is part of my Greater Purpose.  I’m not perfect at it, by any means, but I am learning so much about myself in the ways that I serve others.  God blesses me and I praise Him for that.

As was the case just yesterday with one of my clients.  I’m not going to name any names, of course, but this client is particularly beautiful on the inside and out.  I just love our weekly “Google Hangout” sessions and getting to see her face and just talk about her big dreams she is so capable of accomplishing for her body!  She is one client that is considering doing a bikini competition and I am so excited for her and to be able to coach her in a BALANCED way to this monster goal and not losing sight of having a strong mindset and strong spirit along the way.  Essentially, I am hoping to accomplish with her what I myself could not do.  There is something really beautiful about this opportunity for us both!

 

Over the weekend, I got an email from her with some recent snap shots of her body for what are called “Progress Pictures”.  I think progress pictures are incredibly valuable to the health journey not because it’s easy or even enjoyable to stare at yourself in the mirror and even (gasp!) share these images with another person, but because there is power in being able to look back and see how far you’ve come.  Somehow it’s a step in Faith, saying “I know this is how I look now, but I also know this is not how I’m going to look in the future.  So I’m brave enough to take the pictures now so I can one day see how far I’ve come.”  Again, it’s a challenge, but can be a really rewarding practice.

In fact, I think that is also the benefit of doing “Mind” and “Spiritual” versions of “progress pics” by doing things like journaling and written prayer journals, just so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I highly recommend adding these practices for anyone looking to make some health changes!

 

But, back to the story, my client took the pictures and sent them to me and the email inevitably had some remarks about her “flawed” body parts and imperfections.  I related heavily to how she was feeling.  I think every woman on the planet can relate to this.  It is so challenging to stare at ourselves in the mirror without starting into a tirade against our body “flaws.”    Why is it so hard for every woman?!  Fat, skinny, short, tall, fit, thin –we all have things we don’t love about ourselves!

To me, the answer is the same answer it has been for me since that 2nd grade story I shared not long ago. My mind, and the lens through which I see my body, is the flawed part–not my body itself.  There are LIES that wreck havoc over my eyeballs and that tell me all the reasons why “I’m not good enough.”

 

So, I sent my client an email back but I felt as though I was really writing this email to myself.  Since I knew it was something that I needed to remind myself of and certainly knew this was something my client needed to remind herself of, then I can only assume that this might be something that YOU need to remind yourself of too.

 

So, here’s what I wrote:

Yes, I saw your pictures!

So, here’s what I see.  I see YOU and your beautiful body!  I also see that you are getting “nervous” because you are now seeing your body as the “flaws” that they are and what all will need to change by the time you hit the stage.

This is exactly what I did and exactly what I see so many women in this world do.
We think that in order to “motivate” ourselves, we need o focus on our flaws and fix them.  This is the equivalent of “hating your body to change it.”
It can work.  But the way it works is all negative and will suck the life right out of you.  It will make the next year of your life miserable and hard.
So, you’re not going to learn to love your body once it changes.  You have to learn to love your body now.  Just as it is.    Only from LOVING your body will you be able to set out and change it for the good of your soul.  To make a change in your body and your health, you will have to seek ways to become a better you and to do so from a place of LOVE not HATE.  Otherwise, it will suck the love right out of you.
So HOW do you do that? How do you love your body now?!   
Honestly, it’s a day by day and moment by moment, CHOICE that you’ll have to make.   It is a change that you’ll need to find deep in your soul to the the point that it can actually change your mindset too.
How do you love yourself?
First, by recognizing you are LOVED by God.  God IS love.
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Think of the things that you love in this life.  You have love that should feel almost effortless right?   That feeling—God created that.  That feeling IS God.  When you feel that love it means you are feeling God within you.  What’s different about the love you feel for others and the love God has for you is that God’s love for you in unconditional.  You have it no matter what.  You can not earn it, you can not give it away.  What you need in your life is to simply embrace this love.
Right now, there are some walls blocking you from feeling this LOVE when you look at yourself.  These walls cause a darkness over your heart.  The walls might be from past pains you’ve experienced, or by comparing yourself now to the girls you saw at the show, or simply from LIES in your head that you’ve believed your whole life.  These LIES are from the devil and he is so smart and tricky and has made you believe these things are “normal” in your head.  They are not.
They are lies.  Fear is a liar.  Always remember that.
So, to turn away from these LIES and TOWARD LOVE you have to go out and seek it.  You have to practice love and make it a habit.  You will find that your spirit and mind will grow into this the more you practice it.  But it will be an everyday challenge that you have to choose to engage in.

Forming Habits of Self Love:

  1.  Pray to God and ask that His love fill you up and pour over and make you see the love for yourself too.  Building a relationship with God cultivates love with Him and then love for yourself.
  2. Replace all negative self talk with positive.  Every time you catch yourself wanting to be negative about your body, choose to repeat a positive love affirmation.  “I choose to love my body today”  or “Love conquers all”.  Something sweet and meaningful to you.
  3. Read Spiritual passages about love in scripture.  Search to understand what love is more and what Love God has for you.
  • Here’s some of my favorites:
  • Ephesians 3:17-19
  • Romans 8:28-30
  • 1 Corinthians 13:13
  • 1 John 4:8
  • Matthew 6:25
Take a moment to look these up and write down what they mean for you.  Meditate on them and seek ways for you to believe they are true.
      4.   Read other books, poetry, and podcasts etc that will help you remember to love yourself or just be inspired.
I love the new Oprah book “What I Know For Sure” where she does these short articles from her O magazine.  You could read one a day and really feel the benefit.
Here’s an excerpt that made me think of you just now.  She was talking about her constant struggle with dieting and her body (we can all relate).  What I Know For Sure
“I sat up one crisp, sunny morning and made a vow to love my heart.  To treat it with respect.  To feed it and nurture it.  To work it out and then let it rest.  And then one night when I was getting out of the tub, I glanced in the full-length mirror.  For the first time, I didn’t launch into my self criticism.  I actually felt a warming sense of gratitude for what I saw.  My hair braided, not a stitch of makeup on, face clean.  Eyes bright, alive.  Shoulders and neck strong and firm.  I was thankful for the body I lived in.
I did a head-to-toe assessment, and though there was plenty of room for improvement, I no longer hated part of myself, even the cellulite.  I thought, ‘This is the body you’ve been given–love what you’ve got’.”
          
Other books:
Jesus Calling, Laura Young
Awaken the Gian Within, Tony Robbins
How you can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay
The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Choose to start this today!  We are going to work through this SELF LOVE just as we are working through this BODY CHANGE.  By doing this, your experience will be a drastically different one than most will experience.  It will be a world different from MY own show too.
I am so excited to be a part of this!!  But again, this is a PROCESS!  It will take bit by bit to make any change –body, mind and soul.  All you have to do is be present to this very moment, and commit to the next step that GOD lays out ahead of you.
Love you!
M”
For anyone else that read this and can relate, I’d love to hear ways that you cultivate your own self love? Please comment below!  I know we all need reminders of things we can do to keep these LIES in our head at bay and start seeing ourselves the way God does!
I know for sure, that the process of sharing and engaging in God more because of these insecurities is the exact reason why we struggle with them to begin with! So in spite of it always seeming like a never-ending battle, it really is a blessing in disguise because of how much it will bring us closer to God.
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Categories
Goal Development Spiritual Health Uncategorized

BREAKING-UP IS POWERFUL TO DO, PART DEUX

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do II

 

As life would have it, I am finding more and more of my true calling in this effort of writing, blogging and health coaching.   It came to me a while ago, but I have realized that my Greater Purpose of this calling of writing these articles are not just for you (although I earnestly hope that you do get some sort of lesson or inspiration out of them) but really a lot of this calling is about ME and gaining some necessary wisdom in my life.

So, as it naturally happens, as I start to put pen-to-paper, or more aptly, fingers-to-keyboard, I start to expose more and more things that I need to focus on and work on.

As was the case when I started to write the blog last week that was just posted yesterday. I have always been so aware of the power that my husband’s and my history holds. I love our love story. I have fully embraced the convoluted, roller-coaster-ride rollercoaster of loveof our history as part of what makes our relationship so powerful today!

I can fully embrace the imperfect ways that we tried and tried to get it (W)right to no avail only to finally, FINALLY, realize what was the missing issue the entire time ——-> BIG MAN himself, G.O.D.

I spoke yesterday that I clearly placed Howard and my relationship ahead of God when I would obsess and worry and try harder and harder.

And as I was journaling these thoughts in our story for yesterday, it all of a sudden hit me like a dagger right between my eyes.

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, everyday.”

“Obsessed with trying to be enough.”

“Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter.”

These are the EXACT phrases that I could easily put into place regarding my relationship with my body and food as well.

It’s not so shocking, of course, because I’ve already admitted to this behavior, especially when it was at it’s peak as I was training to do a bikini competition.

But I can admit now that these SAME feelings and obsession with my body were still very present  when I was planning for my wedding. It was another BIG DAY and I had a lot self pressure to look the best I’ve ever looked, naturally.

I am proud of myself that I did NOT resort to extreme tactics this go round and still treated my body in a much more health-centered way.

 But the truth is that mentally, I was just as consumed (if not more so) with worry and fret as I have been before. I hired not 1 but 2 health coaches myself, hired a personal trainer, logged my food every day, paid for extensive body fat measurements and the whole bit.

wedding-day-weight

 Again,

 “Consumed with thinking about it all day, every day.”

 “Obsessed with trying to be enough”

 “Trying harder and harder and holding on tighter and tighter”

The results were just about the same as those 6-years of dating Howard. I could try as hard as I wanted but it wasn’t going to change much.   I lost maybe 5 lbs and a few body fat % in the entire year that I was working toward my wedding body. For a WHOLE YEAR, with literally thousands of hours logged with worry, obsession and fret,  and all I lost was a measly 5lbs.

(Can someone make a t-shirt with that on it perhaps?   “I spent 1,000 of mental hours and 1,000 of dollars for this body and all I lost were these 5lbs?”)

Don’t get me wrong, I am quite pleased with how I looked on my wedding day, but I was a little exhausted that day too from all that build up and WORRY, which I have to admit was 80% about my BODY more than about the wedding itself!   Also, don’t EVEN get me started on the fact that it took a full 10-minutes and 4 women to zip up my gosh darn dress?!  How’s that for a confession?! UGHHHHHH.  Literally, I. Can’t. Even.  I can't even

 

But, I digress….

So, it’s been almost 6-months since my wedding day, and I have been trying to pinpoint this emotion that I’ve been feeling ever since.

For the first time, in a long time, I am not obsessing over my body, I am not logging my meals, I am not tracking every workout and measuring the # of calories I’m burning or consuming.

But all of this new behavior has me feeling a mix of emotions. I feel relief that I don’t have to obsess so much any more, and yet, I’m kind of sad and lost unsure of this new phase with my body and relationship food and workouts.

 AND SO IT’S HIT ME……

 I’m in the middle of a break-up!

It’s not the same as what it was when Howard and I broke-up because I can’t physically break-up with my body.

But I realize now that I’ve broken-up with the relationship I had with my body!

Subconsciously and now more consciously I have exposed that I STILL have a tendency to put many things (i.e. idols) ahead of my relationship with God . These tendencies seem to manifest themselves in my mind the exact same way.

 I obsess, I worry, I try harder and yet it doesn’t produce the results I want.

But, for the first time ever, I am not treating my body the same way as I always have. I have some other things that are taking precedence (namely, my time with God, my husband and this business) over my workouts, body obsession and food.

This has meant that my workouts are much shorter (usually about 30 minutes, 3-4 days per week). I also don’t track my eating like I used to (simply because I don’t have time). I am not weighing myself very often at all. I am not even looking in the mirror as much anymore!  It’s kinda just “weird” for me.  It’s a me I don’t quite recognize and don’t know quite what to do with myself….as odd as that sounds!

This relationship I had with my body was around for much much longer than the relationship I had with Howard, so I’m expecting this break-up to take some time.   And just like it was when he and I broke-up,  I don’t know if I’m meant to get back together with that old me, or if I’m going to find a whole new relationship with my body that is a much better fit!

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Either way, I know I’m at this in between phase of this break-up right now and I need to STAY IN THIS PHASE until I have clear direction.

THE POWER IN THIS BREAK-UP:

Now that I am conscious that I am in the middle of this “break-up” with the relationship with my body, I can offer you some insight into what this means for me. What I DON’T have is the actual lessons I’m going to learn. The reason is because I’m not over it yet and I’m feel as though I’m still healing.

But if you’re in this place with me, perhaps realizing that you too have a “bad relationship” with your body, food, or working out, then there ARE some things that I can offer.  Things that I KNOW within my soul that are helping through this break-up phase.

1. Doubt Gives Way to Faith:

The power of our idols is incredibly strong. Everyday that I think I have a God-centered, “healthy” relationship with my body, I will all of a sudden find myself in the pantry binge eating some fruit clusters and other treats and then immediately feeling the affects of guilt and mental punishment the rest of the day.  Sugar Addiction (or any food/drink/substance addiction) can be a very real idol that we serve before we serve God.

But what I know is that just when I doubt I will ever be strong enough to beat my sugar addiction, in comes these waves of Faith that I know that God is stronger than anything and everything in this world.   God over EverythingI can put my trust and hope in God and He will help me beat this body idol and reengage in a new relationship with my body.  I can remember all the other hard things I’ve had to give up (anyone read my WINE-O series?!) and how much God has truly pulled me through once I SURREND’hered it to Him.

2. Fulfillment comes from God alone:

Just like I had learned the hard way from my break-ups with Howard, I am seeing this pop-up again in my break-up with my old relationship with my body. I was trying to find fulfillment from my body and my health instead of truly finding fulfillment from God. I know that this break-up will serve as the necessary time for me to reengage with God as my sole provider. To SURREND’her more and more to Him. To truly make Him the center of ALL of my life, not just part-of my life.

3.These Feelings of “Falling Apart” are what is going to lead to the Spiritual Break-Through I need:

[Full Disclosure] I am very, very uncomfortable in this ‘break-up phase’ with my body. A large part of me feels like I’m really GIVING-UP on my body.  410461022227339120_1382633488I have fear that it’s going to all go down hill. I have so much guilt about not working out as much or dieting as hard core as I used to and fear that all this is going to lead me to be a big fat hypocrite on this forum of “speaking about health” all while looking chubby. I am still struggling daily with the feelings of how I should be “trying harder.”

But, what I’m doing about these fears is not “trying harder,” I’m just praying harder. I’m journaling a ton and praying all day long about this body and this life and asking God to use me in these new ways. To heal my mind and body and soul. I know this is exactly the right course.

I am encouraged by the signs that God is giving me for motivation to keep “praying through”. One such sign is from the book I keep talking about, The Circle Maker. The author Mark Batterson gave me a very strong reminder when he said, “If you want to experience a super natural break-through, you have to pray through. But as you get closer to the break-through it often feels like you’re about to lose control, about to fall apart. That is when you need to press in and pray through.”

Pressing-on and praying through is what I intend to do!

4. I’m Grateful for my Imperfections:

I can find joy and gratitude in every difficult thing that I encounter in life. My very struggles in life are the things that keep me leaning on God and keep me looking to Him more and more. My imperfections are the gateway to the true blessings that I’ll receive from this relationship I’m building with God. I know I will never be perfect and this battle with my body and with food will be a lifelong battle. But I can be grateful for that because it means that I will always stay close to God. I can “sacrifice of a thank offering to you and call on the name of the Lord” (Psalm 116:17)

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5. I can Praise Him NOW for what will be:

I can also know that because I’m giving Him this problem He has already answered my prayer. He has already delivered me from this idol of my body and food and He has offered me a new relationship with my body that better serves my Greater Purpose. I can Praise Him for answering this prayer and just wait for this answer to be revealed to me. I know there will come a time and I’ll “just know” what direction to take and I’ll keep taking steps that He leads me.   Thank you God for this.

So, while I do wish I had more answers for YOU I hope you don’t mind me opening up more about my struggles and how I’m really not much of an “expert” yet on how to enter into a healthy relationship with your body.

What I do encourage you to do is to self-assess your current relationship you have with your body too!

Q: How do you see your body?

Q: Do you put part of your quest for health or your body before God?

Q: What are the mental cues that recognize as your blocks (i.e. do you obsess, worry, avoid, abuse, or hate your body?).

Q: Can you find ways to use God in those areas and “pray-through” this barrier it plays in your heart and soul.   Think of the best ways that you can give this to God (prayer, friends, journaling etc)

Also, I do I highly suggest reading The Circle Maker the_circle_maker_zv_largeand journaling a lot more to expose some of your own idols in your life! It might not just be your body or health, it is likely quite a few things! Give them ALL UP! Keep SURREND’hering .

 

In Love and Healing,

 

Amanda

 

 

Categories
Uncategorized

Breaking-Up is Powerful To Do

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

The other day I gave a little snippet of how my husband and I met. It was some good ol’ self-deprecating humor about how my husband was actually attracted to the very assets (no pun intended) that I had perceived as my worst flaws (i.e. my big ol’ booty).

I told the story about how we first met and gave the rather evasive ellipses and the cliche of “the rest is history!”

Well, ha! That history was anything but just 3 small dots . . .

Actually if each of those dots represented the number of times we would break-up, then yes, that is quite accurate! But it would be a tumultuous 6-years of dating on-and-off before we would be engaged and then married on lucky year #7. In fact, we married on the exact date that we met at the restaurant I told you about in my last blog.

It was anything but “first comes love, then comes marriage” il_340x270.468855362_s7edin your typical RomCom (Romantic Comedies). You could liken it much more to the yo-yo dating a la Carrie and “Mr. Big” of Sex and the City.

Each break-up was excruciatingly painful for me. Howard had been trapped in his own mental battle of “lies” that had convinced him that he wasn’t capable of successfully being married. A product of both his childhood history, his own divorce, and the dozens of divorces he witnessed of many of his closest friends. Some of them even found that their spouse was having an affair using reverse phone lookup.

That being said, even if things did not work out in the end, a divorce is nowhere near as traumatic or as stigmatized as it used to be. For instance, I know plenty of couples that have managed to split amicably. Most arguments during divorce proceedings tend to focus on the division of assets. However, most of my friends that have been divorced have always used a prenuptial agreement to ensure that their assets were divided fairly. One thing I will say though is that if you are considering getting a prenuptial agreement before marriage, it is vital that you contact a team of prenup lawyers first to make sure that your prenup is accurate and valid.

As for my now-husband though, he had a very fear-based way of living and looking at relationships. His viewpoint, sadly, is actually very common in America. It’s not just America who feels this way, there are many people around the world who feel this way about marriage, for example in the United Kingdom, where the divorce rate is around 40%, there are some couples who look to law firms that are in the Specialist Divorce business in order to end their marriages. There are others who believe that marriage isn’t needed to maintain a happy relationship with their partner.

But, being the hopeless optimist that I have always been, I saw so much more in him and knew what we had was special.

Even so, I was caught in my own “fear-based” mindset, constantly worrying about our relationship too. Thinking about him non-stop and wondering where it was all “going” and if he “really loved me” or not.
I always worried that I was never enough for him and never enough to save our relationship.

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Call these fears of intuition or more likely a self-fulfilling prophecy, but after about 6-months of things going seemingly fine for us, I would start to panic and squeeze tighter just as Howard would start to panic and pull-away. Causing us to break-up.

These break-ups felt like my heart was shattering.

But what was so surprising, was that I quickly came to realize that I was not indeed shattered or broken. I think myself lucky that unlike some people I didn’t jump straight into marriage and have to use Colorado Springs Process Server to issue my partner with divorce papers each time.

In a beautiful irony is that in those moments of feeling so heart-broken, my heart was actually being healed and remolded into a better way.

It was during these periods of heart break that I (slightly at first) began to lean on God as well as learn more about myself!

God tremendously blessed these times for me.

I found some of my best friends and grew much closer with my family;
I found my body’s strength and my passion for fitness;
I found some necessary wisdom from seeking a therapist for over 3-years to figure out my own fear-based and insecure mind;
I found out a lot about myself through the various jobs and “life searching” I was doing.

What was happening in these breaks of our relationship are what I now call “LIFE!”

I learned things that I would not have necessarily learned had I still been so mentally consumed by my relationship with Howard.

It was easy for me say that Howard’s commitment phobia was the issue, but I began to realize that was not true.

I was just as responsible for the relationship not working out (yet). I had my own fear-based issues that clearly needed some Divine Molding to turn me into “wife” worthy.

As I was learning this, I must admit it was very easy to get ahead of myself too. To think that just a few months of “soul searching” would fix both him and I. So each time we would get back together, I would think, “Ok God, we did all the work we needed to do! This time this is it!”

But nope…..we would fall back into our old fear-based habits. Howard would pull-away. I would worry and obsess. We’d break-up. Yo-Yo dating.

Finally, after our 3rd break-up, feeling shame from the “fool me twice” adage, I reached my breaking point. I was done. It was at this moment of feeling “done” that I found my word SURRENDER and I was finally learning to live it too.

I started to attend a new church in my home town of Greeley, Coloraod – Christ Community Church, and began to experience some remarkable spiritual revelations and God Winkmiracles. The Pastor of the Church, Alan Kraft would somehow preach sermons that were exactly what I needed to hear at that day. This is something I’ve heard called a “God Wink”, where you feel as though God has just blessed you with a little coincidence or miracle with a “wink” ;-).

It was at this time , that I was finally entering into a personal, deep relationship with God. Where I learned to SURREND’her my heart for GOD to fill, instead of waiting for some man to come and do it. I finally let down enough guards around my heart making God truly able to heal me.

I would find that God was doing the same for Howard.

A series of big events for Howard along with years of counseling, allowed him to finally realized I was “the one.” God enabled him to break himself free from the lies he’d convinced himself of for so long and gave him the courage to fly out to Denver and beg me to be his wife.

When he found me again, he found a new me. I was not the same “fear-based” woman I had been. God had truly changed all that. While I certainly needed several weeks to pray and contemplate whether I could really forgive Howard and accept some new developments in our life as well as commit to the biggest decision of my life and become his wife, having the fulfillment of God’s love in my heart made all of those decisions possible.

“For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ.”

-2 Corinthians 1:20

The time apart had allowed a beautiful release of the expectation that he or any man had previously been expected to fill. Because I was filled to the brim with God’s love I was able to release Howard from the role of having to fill those empty holes and neediness I had before.

As much as my heart bursts from the amount of love I receive from my husband now, it does not compare to the love and fulfillment I feel from God’s love.

Which makes sense, because God IS love. Cup Runneth OverAny love that I give and receive from Howard just makes my “cup runneth over.”

You might be wondering, ok Mandi, that is a pretty great love story and all, but what does this have to do with HEALTH?

Well, a lot actually!

Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow as I expand further on the Power of the Break-Up in LOTS or areas of our life!!