Category: Health Coaching

[Part 5] Wine Not?! How to Avoid Any WINE-ing

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date March 20, 2015

If this were a fairytale, this story of my process of how I “broke-up” with WINE would end with something like:

“As the young Lady Chardonnay realized the error of her ways, changed her heart and decided not to drink wine as much anymore, everyone around her was so glad and happy for her transformation that they all just accepted and embraced her new life” Happily Ever After

As I mentioned in the introduction to this series in [Part 1} Wine Not?! Marking those Darn Health Changes that affect our social lives”, I pretty plainly pointed out that a LARGE number of my closest relationships, including my husband and my best friends, were intimately tied to this act of drinking wine together.

I charted my personal journey of this decision in a path to change from my BODY to my MIND and then to my SOUL.

Today, I am sharing how this personal change was put into PRACTICE socially.

I would be remiss if I lead you to believe that I had all these 4 phases of my personal change were linear and happened one after another exactly. The fact is, with any major change in your life, you learn the most by doing.

I began practicing the act of avoiding drinking before I had fully awakened my Consciousness of Spirit and Surrend’hered to it.

But it was by PRACTICING (and pretty much messing it up a lot) that I actually learned the MOST Spiritually about this decision.

As I reiterated yesterday, until you understand something down to your SOUL, you will struggle time and time again with making a long lasting change.

But you DON’T have to have it all figured out before you start making the change. In fact, as of right now, I don’t think I’ll EVER have it ALL figured out because I’m still struggling in some areas and with some relationships.

I can accept that and even embrace this fact because I learned very early on, by putting this process into PRACTICE I use each experience as a significant learning tool that has deepened my own Spiritual Conviction and connection to my Core Values.

Nevertheless, I have some wonderful key perspectives that I have learned that have allowed me to maintain these valuable relationships in my life. Naturally, I am unwilling to give up just because I am no longer choosing to drink wine as much. But naturally, something had to change in these dynamics.

That change has been me.

I have learned some key perspectives allowing me to embrace this change keep my relationships in tact!

KEY PERSPECTIVE #1:

GO IN WITH A PLAN

I don’t just go into any event where I know there is going to be wine and other temptations to just wing it. Also, I don’t go in telling myself “I’m just not going to eat that or drink that.” No, that I’ve learned doesn’t work at all.

The best thing I have learned to do is to go into the event with a plan of what I AM going to do.

I take the time to decide what it is I AM going to drink for the night, which is usually a bottle of sparkling water (served in a wine glass!) with fresh lime or lemon.
I’ll also plan what time I’m going to leave an event so as to avoid being around drunk people (that is not fun when you’re sober).
I also find it helpful to plan ahead things I have to do the next morning that will all reinforce my commitment to my health and my Core Values that I determined (again, if you’re interested in signing up for my Core Values, 6-Step Exercise, click HERE)

KEY PERSPECTIVE #2:

ALLOW OTHERS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR BODY, THEIR PROCESS AND THEIR FEELINGS.

I will go ahead an admit that this is the hardest thing for me to do and I am relearning this step ALL THE TIME!

I can’t control other people.

I can’t control what they are putting in their body, where they are in their own process of making a health change and certainly how my decisions are making them feel.

This is tough detaching from all of these things, especially with my natural tendency to be a people pleaser and to help people (especially in their health).

I seem to consistently learn this perspective the hard way, especially with my husband! Errr…..

If I try to convince them that what they were doing was “wrong” then I sound judgmental. If I tried to tell them how to not feel that way, it made them feel worse and definitely more defensive!

So, while I don’t take responsibly for their stuff, I can empathize with them.

I understand how they might feel that I’m judging them because I remember feeling that way before too.
I understand how they might feel ashamed that they don’t have the “will power” to not drink because I remember when it was that I thought I just needed more will power too.
I can see why my actions are evoking an emotional response from a friend or my husband because I remember how hard I was on myself and how those feelings came out negatively, too.

We all want our loved ones to be on the same “page” as us so that it makes our decisions easier. But the truth is that they’re just NOT. We can’t control their decisions and the more you remind yourself of this fact and hand the responsibility back to them, the more it frees you from this burden!

KEY PERSPECTIVE #3:

I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN BODY, MY OWN PROCESS AND MY OWN FEELINGS.

The worst trouble I get myself into is when I think I have myself “all figured out” and I have it all “under control” or “I’m cured” of the lies.

I get arrogant or something because the next thing I know, my husband orders an impromptu glass of Chardonnay for himself at lunch on the patio and I am jealous and mad. I say things without thinking them through and definitely come off as though I’m judging or nagging him.

But, after a pause and some reflection, I realize exactly where my reaction is coming from. It is stemming from still believing some of the lies in my soul that say things like, “You can’t have fun without wine” or even some other harsh things about how I’m at fault for damaging my body and this is the punishment I deserve for having been so reckless.

I take a breather and gather myself back into that space of Spiritual Consciousness in into God’s care and I see it all more clearly.

I take responsibility and make the choice to see things in their TRUTH, not see things in their lies. Because the TRUTH is that this health choice is NOT about punishing myself—-it is about rewarding myself! Freeing myself from the burden of lies, freeing my body from pain, freeing my mind from negative thinking and overall empowering myself and my health.

I take responsibility for my own body and my own process including any part where I realized I am backsliding and hovering between some of the phases again.

I take responsibility for my words and apologize to any person that I might have sounded judgmental to and I own exactly what my feelings are.

Just the other day, I had to admit to my husband that my negative reaction recently to his health choices was out of jealousy, insecurity and these lies of self-punishment in my head. I realized those feelings were wrong and my reaction to him was wrong. Verbalizing this is an incredible gift to our loved ones and offers great clarity, but is also a gift to ourselves!

Admitting your fault first is not easy all the time, but it is liberating!

KEY PERSPECTIVE #4:

HELP TO CREATE THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT

When it comes to social behaviors like drinking, people are most concerned with having fun. So I have learned that the most important thing I can do to alleviate any backlash or change in the relationship is to focus my energy on creating a fun environment even when I’m not drinking.

If my energy is off and I’m in my negative head space, I will be more quiet, reserved and sitting in jealousy over the fact that I am not drinking the wine. Negative Nancy.

But I will take a moment to choose my mood and choose the positive sides of my choices and go into the event much more upbeat. It makes a significant difference!

If my friends see that I’m having fun, enjoying the night, laughing with them and not making the whole topic of conversation about the fact that “I’m not drinking wine” then it has majorly positive impact on their mood, the the night as a whole. They will be less likely to assume you are judging them or have an issue with their life choices.

One solid tip is to really shy away from talking too much about your “diet” or this health choice.

I made the mistake a time or two to explain to people exactly why I wasn’t choosing to drink and I was met with some blank stares and a clear indicator that they considered me “no fun.” Well they were right, who wants to hear that!

People always want to ask you why you’re not drinking and I find that a simple, nonchalant answer is ALWAYS the best call.

“Oh no thanks, I’m good”

This is my favorite one because it’s reaffirming that I’m GOOD, as in I’m happy with my decision. Not, “No thanks, I’m on a diet,” or “ No thanks, I can’t have that” which are both negative version.

If someone presses me further, I try to always tell the truth to these questions (some people will make up a lie, which I find to usually be unnecessary and kind of weak in owning what you’re doing) but will make the truth as light and breezy as possible. The key to doing this is by SMILING when saying it.

–“Oh, I’m just taking not feeling it tonight. I have something early in the morning.”

If they still continue to probe….

-“Yeah, wine has just been making me feel off lately. So I’m taking a hiatus. But it smells delicious! I hope you’re enjoying it!”

Create the environment one of enjoyment and others will not bother you as much!

PERSPECTIVE #4:

PRACTICE DOES MAKE PROGRESS!

I won’t say that practice makes perfect because nothing is perfect. But practice definitely makes tremendous progress! Studies have shown that the more you engage in a new habit of change, the more the habit will run into your natural stream of subconsciousness!

Some studies will say that you need to do something 21-days in a row in order for it to be come a reinforced habit. But when it comes to behavior that you don’t engage in every day necessarily, I would say that a solid 30-60 days is a more realistic expectation.

I realize this may sound like a long time, especially for anyone that is struggling in early stages of this change, but it’s not a white a black issue! It’s not as though it’s hard all 60 days and then by some miracle it’s easy on day 61!

It is a PROCESS and the more you practice, the more it will get progressively easier and easier too. You can build momentum in your progress and it helps to reinforce your choices each time.

It is because of these valuable perspectives that I have been able to enjoy being around wine and feeling empowered by my choice to not drink it.

It is because I was able to dive deeply into not just the health of my body, but to the health of having a strong mindset and a strong connection to my Spiritual Alignment that I was able to get to the place of putting this new health choice into action with very little change to my relationships!

I have become more and more confident that this choice is the right one for me the more I put this choice into practice!

I take ownership of my health, my process, my values and my responsibility to improve myself to live my best life!

As I said the other day, this choice can just be one more way that I can be the change I wish to see in the world and to let my light shine before others.

I encourage you to start the process today for whatever new health choice you need to make to do the same thing!!

God will bless your journey!

Tags be the change, Change, choice, girls night out, God, Health, husband, leadership, ownership, responsibility, social life, Wine

Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Enough with the Guilt! 4 Ways to Rid The Guilt

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date March 10, 2015

Each woman in this world has a space to fill. Each woman is worthy of infinite blessings from God. Each woman is designed for a noble cause and has capacity for blessed improvement in this life she may lead.

YOU are worthy of your space, your purpose and your path.

Yet, what I am hearing from clients, from friends and from, frankly, my own head, is a tremendous about of guilt caused from what only can be “not good enough” syndrome.

“Oh, I totally botched my diet this weekend! Ugh, I am totally going to have to workout extra this week and cut some extra calories.”

“I never feel like my house is clean enough. I should spend some more time dusting”

“I don’t feel like I’m doing a good enough job parenting. I’m not there enough for them or helping them enough with homework.”

“Everyone at the office is putting in more hours than me, I should to stay late at work so they don’t think I’m the weak link.”

“I should really do something sexy for my husband, but I have just been feeling too tired lately and certainly not sexy.”

“I haven’t spent any time alone with God lately, I am sure He is going to punish me in some way. I really need to go to church this weekend.”

Guilt, especially in women, seems to run rampant in our minds and more gravely in our spirit.

But let’s be very honest with ourselves, GUILT does not bring about any real and lasting change in our lives.

There will always be more things that we “should” be doing better. There will always be ways that we are falling short of perfection. We are human.

I think most women are aware of the guilt that they feel. But it has become a feeling that is so familiar that it may actually become a tactic we use as false motivation.

It’s false because the idea of guilting oneself into true change is like putting a bandaid-type of fix to an open-artery-type of need.

Using guilt as motivation will not bring about true transformation, true change and true relief into any area of our life we are trying to improve whether it be personal, body, family, work, romance, or spirit.

If we take it outside of our own heads, we can clearly see several examples of how guilting others does not in fact motivate anyone for real change.

For example:

The “diet” phenomenon is something that is all to common these days, and I am guilty of unintentionally prescribing such ways of thinking early in my nutrition career. By issuing things like exact meal plans and precise diets to follow is basically establishing a set of “rules” that each client is expected to follow in order to garner success in weight loss. The same goes for any diet program or fad that society will flock to, they are essentially establishing their own set of new “rules” to follow.

But, each time we set up “rules” to follow, we are automatically setting up ways for us to issue these same feelings of “guilt” when we inevitably fall short or “cheat”.

The problem with guilting our society into these weight loss “rules” is that it clearly does not have long-lasting results! We have all seen more diet failures than successes! There is a reason why the rate of overweight and obesity is on the rise despite having more diets out there than ever before. Diets and their “rules” don’t work.

None of my clients had any intention of following my meal plan for the rest of their lives just as many people who try out the new fad diet will likely resort back to old eating habits eventually too! Just short months after working with me and finding weight loss success, I saw a great many clients gain back half, if not all, of the weight they had lost and were riddled with guilt about it. The “rules” and the subsequent “guilt motivation” clearly didn’t last! In fact, it just caused more guilt!

Outside of weight loss, I’ve also witnessed this ineffective guilt tactic in the role of religion in our country. While I know a great many of friends that do believe that there is a God and most of whom do believe in Jesus as well, I would say the majority of those that do not embrace a Christian lifestyle don’t because of some religious person or persons that had evoked some sort of rules and guilt tactic on them at some point in their life.

So often, “religious” people get very caught up in the “rules” of the bible and “rules” of following a Christian lifestyle. It is off-putting to think that one has to do so many things in order to make it into heaven! You have to go to church, tithe 10%, get baptized, pray daily, take communion, confession, etc etc etc.

I was blessed to be born into a healthy and faith-based household, but even I have had some very strong and off-putting experiences with “religious” people that were trying to enforce some “Christian” agenda. It did NOT work to get me into church more and it did NOT work to affect any change on my life.

Guilting me about my sin was not an way to get me to change in any real way.

I shudder when I think about those crazy “christian” types that are picketing with signs outside of court houses bashing abortion and gay people and blaming them for our natural disasters.

It is sickening and maddening when people try to use guilt as a motivating tactic, especially when they put the name of God on their own judgement. I am just glad that we have a fair and just God who WILL handle all condemnation in this after life.

We see that these tactics evoke any real change, and yet we still guilt ourselves daily.

One things I know for sure,

GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD.

If you want to truly change your life for the better? Truly transform your heart? Truly realign your soul in the direction you are destined to go?

What you need is…..

Less GUILT and More GOD.

Guilt is not one of the fruits of the Spirit. Guilt is not one of the characteristics that is revealed of God throughout the Bible. Guilt is not the purpose of any one of the teachings of Jesus while he walked this earth.

Any time we feel guilty for not being enough in some way, that is not from God but is the devil trying to keep us playing small by feeling overwhelmed and lost.

God knows that we are never going to get it all done perfectly as much as we might try. God knows that we are human and flawed in our nature. Our imperfection has Greater PURPOSE. God uses it to bless us!

Each one of our flaws opens up a greater opportunity for us to depend on God.

We don’t do it by mastering the religious practices, or by following a specific religious doctrine.

We do it by engaging in an ongoing relationship with Him.

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5

Our imperfections are our avenues for God’s amazing grace to dwell and fill the empty space within.

Naturally, all of this elicits the question:

What are we to do with our guilt? How do we actually step away from our natural “guilt” response?

Here are 4 R’s to Remember When You’re Riddled with Guilt:

1.)RECOGNIZE the trigger words in your head

You know the ongoing conversation we have with ourselves in our head? Well, there are repeatable words and phrases that are common when guilting ourselves that we can recognize and change.

“Should” or “shouldn’t”—“I should have gone to the gym this morning.” “I shouldn’t have eaten so much for lunch.

“Ugh”, or “Ick”— Often when looking in the mirror or looking at our messy homes, the first word in our thoughts it something like “ugh.” For some of my close friends lately, it’s more like “ewwww”. 🙂

“Just”– Commonly more of the complaining side of guilt, but phrases like “I just need more time in my day”, “I just wish I could have done more on that project at work.”

Your head might have different catch phrases when thinking guilty thoughts, but I encourage you to take some time to recognize your own thought patterns!

2.) REMEMBER that God is with you in your mind and knows what you are thinking.

What helps me is the second I recognize those trigger words in my head, I think about God sitting in an listening to them. I think of how much He loves me and how much those thoughts don’t serve me or serve Him. I open my heart and my internal ears for Him to gently guide my thoughts to Him and to how HE sees me, not just how I see me.

*Remember, if you have thoughts that God is seeing you with anything other than love, know that these thoughts are from the devil. Do not confuse the two and do not listen to the evil thoughts in your head!*

3.) REPHRASE your thought in a way that is more self loving.

Give yourself credit for what you ARE doing that is right and good and helpful to your life’s improvement. This can be very hard to do in the moment, especially when we are so conditioned to be so hard on ourselves. But opening yourself up even 1x a day for some self love can work wonders in motivating yourself from within.

4.) REFOCUS your effort–

Ask yourself questions like,

“If I wasn’t trying to be perfect right now at everything, how can I use this time to better one area of my life that truly needs it?”

“What is it that I really want and need to do right now.”

So often, we feel guilt because we are trying to juggle a ton of things all at once and not doing any one of them very well!

Stepping back and assessing what God is telling you to focus on “right now” is key!

All day, I now have this conversation with God and truly believe that He is guiding me in the most mundane of activities.

I don’t audibly hear Him talking to me, but it is a spiritual flow that only occurs when I remember to think about Him and I ask for small step guidance.

When I am constantly speaking to God within, I do not have words of guilt flowing through my head. I speak to myself in a more self loving and supportive way which is the most motivating and inspirational way of speaking possible!

Oh, the things I can accomplish when I skip the guilt!! It brings about more joy, more love, more peace and you guessed it…..

REAL CHANGE.

Tags Change, Diet, God, Guilt, Health, Religion, Rules, Weight loss, Women, Worthy

Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Finding Harmony Among Chaos | 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date March 3, 2015

My life tends to turn into “whirl wind” status within a blink of an eye! I’m sure you can relate in some way in your life too!

Over the last 3-weeks my life has be thwarted and thrusted into the chaos of big changes, including:

1.) I started this very blog, new website and new business LLC all requiring patience and drive to overcome my technology learning curve. In the end, I decided to use a godaddy website builder to try and make the whole process a bit easier for me. I’m not the best when it comes to technology and I have very little knowledge when it comes to building a website. The business was the most stressful part of these past few weeks. I have worked so hard to get it started and I wanted everything to be perfect. I quickly learnt that it probably wouldn’t be!

2.) My husband and I packed up most of our life to move into a new home in a brand new city also requiring big-time patience (as I am currently on day no. 3 of trying to get the darn internet, not to mention the endless shopping for beds, plates, and the essential nick-knacks and doodads.) After one of our friends told us about secured loans, we realized moving house could be easier than we first expected. We managed to sell our old house pretty quickly and then used the loan as our deposit. I’m so in love with our new home. It’s fabulous! Once we’ve finally settled in and have some spare time on our hands, we’re thinking about making it our mission to look for wireless alarms, as moving into a new house in a completely new city comes with the unknown. How safe is it? Do we have a possibility of getting burgled? These are all things that we don’t know, but if we have an alarm, a huge portion of that worry will be reduced. So, once everything else has been sorted, (whenever that will be), this should become our main focus.

3.) Smack dab in the middle of all these changes, we did whisk away to Hawaii, not just for the purpose of relaxation (although we did some of that) but so see my husbands 2.5 year old daughter, Eden, (who lives in Japan with her mom and stepdad most of the year). So, for 10 wonderful days we were thrust into the spinning vortex of toddler-life that, while exhilarating and drenched in deep love for her….. is also exhausting because she’s 2 1/2 and quite boisterous!

I am the first to admit, I am eternally blessed to get to experience such a roller coaster ride of life! You are eternally blessed (even when you don’t feel it!) for those crazy, manic experiences of your life too.

THE QUESTION IS:

How do we best handle our HEALTH when we are in chaotic times?

I gotta admit, even as a health coach, just 1-year ago, my health habits in stressful times were anything but healthy. In fact, my most common stressful habits included: excessively eating and drinking (alcohol) and overindulging, surviving on simple carbs alone, thinking I had to do everything myself and perfectly, not getting much sleep or rest and/or hardly taking a pause at all!

Might sound familiar?!

You see, at this time of my life, I was weighing all of my food, I was counting my macronutrients, and I was really focused on the details of my eating and working out (ie. Micromanaging my health). I was hyper focused on being “perfect” in my body’s health and severely relied on my routine!

While there is a time a place for some of us to really get down to the nitty gritty of what we are putting into our bodies (especially for the last few body fat percentages to your goal weight), the real win is if we can just stay CONSISTENT with our health and avoid the yo-yo of the scale!

But, for years at this “micromanagement stage,” when life got too chaotic for me to handle and I didn’t have my go-to daily routines in place, my whole health plan would fall apart at the mere mention on “away from home” or “vacation”. I then resorted to old habits and binge eating tendencies!

What resulted was massive swings of my weight AND mood. I could gain 5-10lbs EASILY in just 1 week. As I began to see and feel the weight gain, I would get a lot more stressed and more irritable and anxious too, affecting my mindset! At one point, I was that overwhelmed with my emotions and my negative thought-process, that I considered doing something about it. My friend, who has suffered from anxiety and stress in the past, said that CBD oil made a significant impact to her mindset, and improved how she looked at the world and the goals that she had. It sounded like a good idea, but I wanted to try and do this by myself.

This usually lead me to drastic cuts in calories and more stress to begin micromanaging my diet again. Usually cutting way back on my calories or carbohydrates, which lead to a major metabolic slow down! I found that every time I gained those 5-10 lbs, it got harder and harder to lose them again once the chaos slowed! It was frustrating, to say the least!

Not to mention, by making such drastic cuts in food, I was also cutting back my energy and ability to focus throughout the day. Which caused….you guessed it… even more stress!

A vicious cycle! (Blink if you can relate :-))

Alas, I’m happy to report that since I’ve refocused my health to what I call True Health (meaning it focuses on the body, mind AND soul altogether), I have just proven to myself that my new ways are having the EXACT OPPOSITE result as those old overindulging, micromanaging tendencies!

Not only did I NOT gain weight during these 3 weeks (I actually lost a few lbs), but I feel really energized still! I didn’t need a vacation after my vacation. And, I don’t need a vacation now that I’ve moved in! I still have energy to keep going! Which is KEY to sustaining this state of stress and change I am still enduring.

The best part is, it has been SO SIMPLE and just required me to focus on 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES to have such a wondrous affect.

God Bless It! I have found harmony among the chaos!

By just sticking to these 3 SIMPLE HEALTH INTENTIONS DURING STRESSFUL TIMES, I have never handled such stress so well! They are:

Intention #1– Stay STRONG’her– I chose just 1 habit to focus on for my body!

Intention #2– Stay WISE’her– I chose just 1 habit to refocus on mindset re: my body!

Intention #3– Stay SURREND’her(ed)– I chose just 1 habit to focus on my spiritual strength (and got some bonus love from God too!)

#1. STRONG’her Intention: I FOLLOWED MY 5-STEPS TO NUTRIENT BASED DIET

(If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, check out my Infographic HERE from my recent blog introducing my approach to the best way to start looking better AND feeling better).

The beautiful thing about following these simple 5-Steps to a Nutrient Based Diet is that it can be done ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE. I did it at the airport. I did it in the hotel. I did it at every restaurant. I did it in the midst of a move. IT CAN BE DONE! It requires NO food scale, NO calorie counting, and NO micromanaging!

In fact, check out some of the delicious AND nutrient-based meals I had in Hawaii!

(*BONUS- If you would like to see more of the nutrient-based meals I eat, follow me on twitter (@wrightfitinc) or Instagram (@a.wrightfit) where I will be posting them often with the hashtag #nutrientbaseddiet. Feel free to post your #nutrientbaseddiet meals too, tag me in your photos and I’ll re-tweet and re-gram you!)

As you can see, being on vacation or eating a nice meal out to eat does NOT mean I don’t equally focus on nutrient inclusion and diversity. Quite the contrary!

However, I DO still indulge some, because well….I’m on vacation! BUT my indulgences still fit into those 5-steps for a Nutrient Based Meal, which means, I indulge in moderation.

For example, if I wanted a glass of wine with dinner, I counted that as my carbohydrate source for that meal. If I wanted to try the house specialty of Coconut Crusted Shrimp, I sure did! But I only had 1-2 of them (for a good taste) and counted the fried part as my fat content for that meal. I would then have my vegetables steamed or salad with extra lite dressing to better balance the meal and not overdo the fat.

Also, if I knew that I was going to have a nice dinner at night, I might reserve a couple of my carbohydrate and fat servings from the meals earlier in the day so I could better enjoy the special meal at dinner!

The key was, even if I was treating myself in some way or enduring some stressful moments of chaos, I just made sure…

……. I still got my water

……..I still got my servings of green and colored vegetables &

……..I still got my protein

Keeping those core nutrient essentials helped fill up my stomach so I didn’t have room to overindulge on only the bad stuff!

2. WISE’her Intention: I FOCUSED ON MOVEMENT MORE THAN WORKOUTS

When I was feeling so stressed, the last thing I wanted to do was stress even more about working out (or not working out)! So, I let the workout opportunity come more organically than forced. There were a couple mornings that I felt like really getting in the gym and intentionally inducing some body stress for the sake of getting the endorphin rush and extra blood flow. It can definitely help with stress management!

But, on the days that a workout just couldn’t easily fit into my schedule, I didn’t sweat it (literally)! I was just more mindful of moving more on those days! With Eden, I was in the water much more with her and being silly playing (something all parents can do)! More recently as we’ve been moving, I was certainly getting a better workout by mindfully lifting the boxes, going up and down stairs with speed and “running the marathon of shopping” to find beds, plates, chairs, and all those other doodads needed to fill-up a home!

Stressing about working out does not serve your body nor does it create a healthy mindset! This happened to be something that would mentally disturb me previously, so it dramatically helped my mindset to intentionally step back from this self-pressure.

If you are similar, during tumultuous times, I encourage you to refocus your energy on movement! Then, when you have more time, get back in the gym. But when you don’t, just focus on the movement opportunities in front of you! There is an abundance!

3. SURREND’her Intention: I “CHECKED-IN” WITH MY SOUL DAILY

Sunday is not the only day to engage your spirit! I have learned that creating a daily habit of spiritually checking-in will infinitely increase my ability to handle whatever situation and stress I face that day!

For the last several months, I have created a daily habit of waking up in prayer (starting a morning prayer even before I open my eyes) even if it just acknowledging that God is God and that I have woken-up because He has allowed me to. Waking-up to Prayer first is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. It sets the perspective of the entire day ahead of you!

I also have found great spiritual strength by the brief moments checking-in with my soul and God’s presence throughout the day. I do it intentionally when I read my daily devotional (via ebook for convenience of course) or get my daily Bible Verse pop-up reminder from the YouVersion bible app (even more convenient!). These things take just minutes of my day and can easily be done on the busiest of days!

To my delight, by doing the intentional habits, I find that these “check-ins” also happen unintentionally throughout the day too!. I start to see and recognize God in the places and faces of people around me. I saw Him in the eyes of my step daughter, Eden, when she would laugh. In the face of my husband, Howard, as he held her and again as we wept when we had to leave her. I felt God when I felt the warm sun on my face or saw the dozen beautiful sunsets in front of me. I saw God in my mom’s eternal patience as she was here helping us move in. I saw God daily when I looked in the mirror and didn’t hate the image staring back at me. God’s grace. It is ALL around us, it’s all about recognizing it!

My friends, if you are among the many who are STRESSED or going through some transition or changes in your life, you don’t have to give up on your health!

Find just 3 simple habits that you can focus on-one for your Body, one for your Mind, and one for your Soul and stick with those! You will find the balanced approach to your health, even in the midst of stress, will allow your body to maintain your true health in such wonderful ways.

Focusing on nutrients at every meal, movement and a daily spiritual “check-in” like I did, will work WONDERS on your ability to manage anything that is happening!

Should you fall off for one meal, one day, or several days, don’t panic! Let this email remind you of what you CAN do to empower yourself to handle things better at the next meal, the next day and the next several days to get you back to true health!

AND, with all of this, it bears a reminder. God loves you just as you are, flaws and all. Allow these stressful times to draw you nearer to Him and He will use it to help build more character within you and guide you closer to your Greater Purpose!

Tags Balance, body, Chaos, Diet, Exercise, God, Mind, Moving, Self Care, Soul, Sprit, Stress, Stress Management, Vacation, Weight loss, Wellness

Health Coaching Spiritual Health

THE Miracle Moment | My Road to Becoming WISE’her

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date February 23, 2015
10 Comments on THE Miracle Moment | My Road to Becoming WISE’her

Sitting here, steeped in the richness of beauty that is Maui, I cannot help but be in awe of what God has done, is doing, and will do for this us and this great earth. You see tiny slices of heaven in the way He decorated this Island and majesty in the volcanoes, rainforest and gorgeous turquoise waters. A true wonder.

For all that God has done for this earth, He has done much much more within us-within me. The way he can decorate your soul is of far greater beauty than anything we can see.

I see it now so clearly. The color of Love within me is bright and beaming and shines through my every pore. Reminds me of the passage:

“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness.” Matthew 6:22-23

My eyes have been shown a new light and it can’t be hidden nor forgotten. It came at a brilliant moment of clarity that after a week of relaxation, I feel I am ready share openly.

Here it goes…..

***************************************************************************************

“What are you so afraid of?” he asked.

The question caught me blindsided. Almost immediately, the tears started flowing down my cheeks.

“He” was Pastor Miles McPherson from The Rock Church in San Diego, CA. I was with my husband and the Pastor meeting in his office in a brief introduction for the first time. After 15-minutes of chit-chatting between he and my husband (who had known each other from years ago as young athletes in San Diego) we were heading out to let him get to his second of five sermons he would give that day.

As we were heading toward the door, he asked what I did for a living? I told him briefly about my virtual health coaching and the blog I was intending to start (i.e. this one) that would include not just the body (i.e. exercise and nutrition), but having a strong mind and also creating a stronger spirit with God at the center. I said something like “I’m really scared about it if you would pray for me.”

Hence, his question.

I was immediately overwhelmed because the question was more accurately “What am I NOT afraid of?”

I was afraid that I was a fraud. Afraid that I still didn’t look the part that people would respect. Afraid that I wouldn’t be good at writing. Afraid that I would put my faith out there and offend people…. or get made fun of…. or not taken seriously. I was afraid of failing. Afraid of disappointing God. Afraid that God had chosen the wrong person for this calling of writing. Afraid that I was still too heavy and I need to just keep focusing on losing weight first.

This place of fear and insecurity was not new for me, oh no! But with the tears came such disappointment and shame that this fear bubbling up yet again, in front of my Pastor and husband no less! Especially since I had been working SO hard trying to change my mindset about my body and really thought I was making some headway!

The other week on the blog, I shared what I would call a pivotal moment of my career in health. What Malcolm Gladwell would call a “Tipping Point.” After mentally torturing myself and my body to compete in a body building Bikini Contest for the purpose of finally feeling “accomplished” and “good enough” to be in the fitness industry, I was met with the most empty and sad feelings I had ever felt about my body. What I had expected to happen by getting the “perfect body” was almost the polar opposite of the feelings that I actually had when it was accomplished. (If you missed it, check out my last blog HERE)

This was what I know for sure as an experience in the wonder of God’s grace in life lessons. Love so richly poured out in the form of tough consequences when we don’t listen to His guidance. Consequences that certainly get our attention because they’ve just smacked us right in the face, and consequences we need in order to learn the lesson He wants us to.

As they say, “When you know better, you do better” and I decided that this experience of the competition was going to propel me to “do better” things for my body and in my practice of teaching others about health.

I knew I needed to change the way I thought about my body. I knew there was something not healthy about my thoughts and something overwhelmingly negative about how I saw myself. This was an epiphany for me because I have largely felt as though I was a very positive and kind person. But as is often the case, especially in women, where I am positive, kind and uplifting for others, I was begrudging, judgmental, and harsh on myself.

Being that I have always been a good student, I naturally set out to learn more about how I can improve my way of thinking. I began to devour blogs, online articles, magazines and books in search of some wisdom.

I learned a tremendous amount of information from fellow bloggers, notably Jen Comas Keck, Jill Coleman and the rest of the Girls Gone Strong group of women who all had very similar stories to mine of trying for years to “look the part” of something they thought they should be in the fitness industry, only to come out on the other side realizing there is so much more to life and fitness than that.

I also read countless books by authors with incredible insight and acumen. One very noteworthy example is the book Playing Big by the incredibly smart and talented Tara Mohr. Tara was the first to introduce me to the concept that we all have what she calls an “Inner Critic” which is the is the voice in our head that is critical, discouraging and keeps us “playing small”. I took it to mean that there was this natural negative side to all of us! It was a powerful book for me because I realized I clearly was not the only one that had this voice in my head that would discourage me from taking risks in life. Her booked helped me tremendously in taking more steps to writing this blog, even before I felt completely “prepared enough” to do it. Now, I feel like I could even be ready on starting to look at how to publish a book… Although I very well might need to get writing some more for that!

These great resources and clear knowledge I was learning from all of these women, I felt were slowly helping me finally learn to love my body and manage my insecurities. I thought I was making some great headway!

But, it was clear that just by one simple, yet profound question by Pastor Miles that day, I still was dealing daily with my battles of fear, insecurity, body image and some self loathing.

“What are you so afraid of?”

Although I mentally had a list a mile long, I of course didn’t say any of those things to Pastor Miles, but did stammer out something about “not knowing if I was going to be good enough or capable enough.”

Miles, with a strong sense of divine intuition, sat us both back down and started trying to get to the bottom of where all these fears had come from. He gave me a few rounds of questions trying to figure it out:

“Did your parents ever make you feel you were not good enough?”

Oh no, my parents are perhaps the most supportive and loving people I know.

“Do you have a learning disability or anything that really holds you back?”

Oh no, I’ve always been a good student, actually.

“Do you not like the way you look or something?”

Well no, not most of the time.

“When did you first start feeling this way?”

(Without much pause) Since second grade.

“Second grade??”

Yes, second grade.

I still remember it vividly. At eight years old, I was on the playground with two of my best friends. As a tall girl, I was always a head taller than everyone but I was also pretty curvy, with this bubble booty I have always had! One of my friends brought up my weight and the fact that she weighed 45 lbs-I weighed 60 lbs. And.That.Was.It.

That was the first time I felt huge and the first time I didn’t like that I was so much “bigger” than everyone else. In a funny way, it was not about my height as I didn’t mind being taller. It was always about my weight and being heavier, curvier and more noticeable for it all too. I got teased some, sure, but never really bullied severely. I became my own bully. I began desiring to “lose weight” starting in elementary school.

Pastor Miles looked at me and said, “You realize that this is how the devil works right? He gets inside our heads so early in life that you didn’t even know he was there. Since then, you have been living under this LIE in your head that was planted so very long ago. A lie you have been passively accepting as your truth because the devil is that good that he preys on the things that will get us the most.”

Wow, I had never thought about it that way.

This specific LIE of being “too big” and “not good enough” was not just not just any kind of insecurity- it was THE insecurity from which all others have stemmed. Was he saying that this lie was not from me or something that I created in my head, but it has been implanted by the enemy? It was not my fault?

Pastor Miles went on to explain that we actually have the power over the evil one in our thoughts. It is a power that God gave us but a power we must choose to engage. To cast out any lies or ways of thinking that is not from God. To put the evil back where it belongs.

He said what I was enduring my entire life was not a mental battle, but a SPIRITUAL battle!

Then, he and my husband took the time to stand and pray over me and pray out any thoughts of evil, pray out any more lies that I had been passively believing and that my soul might be restored to it’s rightful owner, God.

As they prayed over me, I was able to truly surrender my body and spirit to this new awareness and accept the prayer over me.

All of a sudden, I could feel the physical presence of God within me. It surfaced as small twitches in my eye. This physical sensation I have felt several times since, usually while praying, and a gift I am humbled to receive from God.

[Reflection: I feel that whenever I pray and I feel these eye twitches, God’s presence is doing this to “open the eyes of my heart” so I can see Him and see life through His gracious lens. It is a miracle and truly extraordinary, if not shocking, to experience. ]

Later that day, I thought back to all the roads that this LIE of being “too big” had led me down.

I remembered feeling big in my volleyball outfit and it affecting my play. Choosing friends growing up that I thought were better than me so I could feel more confident around them. Choosing bad guy after bad guy to date and expecting them to magically cure my low self-esteem. To periods of depression, eating disorders, and emotional bursts. To obsessing about food and thinking about my body literally all-day, every-day for as long as I can remember.

But on this day, for the first time in a long-time, I felt whole, complete and at peace. It dawned on me that this “inner critic” or negative voice of lies is not actually ME at all. There was no battle between the “bad” version of me and the “good” version of me.

I am good. In fact, I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139)

Embracing that love and embracing that fact turned on a light inside of me that had never felt so pure and so bright. This warming love spread through each capillary and nerve.

What was remarkable, was that it all mades sense now-intellectually speaking.

I “got it”. More than just an “aha” moment,

I had wisdom.

Each lie in my head had been acting as a brick building up a tall wall that was preventing my mind from fully understanding the depth of love God had for me and thus my ability to embrace the depth of love I have for myself.

Again, “But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” (Words of Jesus, Matthew 6:23)

The best part is that this battle was not mine to win. It is a battle that is Gods. It can all be changed in a moment–with a simple prayer. God has given me the strength all this time, but I just needed awareness and prayer to be able to do something about it. The same goes for you.

It is not quick fix. As pervasive as the enemy is, often times I revert back to my old ways of thinking without a blink of an eye. But that WISDOM I gained that day does not leave me and I am able to choose Faith again.

It is my choice to either believe the lies and go on living them, or to choose to live by Faith the way God truly made me. I pray daily that I might see myself clearly the way that God sees me. I pray that “Thy Word will be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path” (Psalm 119:105)

For those that might be reading this and don’t quite get it, or quite see why it was such a big deal to me, I completely understand your skepticism. I had been where you might be for over 30 years. There was even a time that I didn’t really believe in evil or the “devil” because I thought we are all responsible for our own sin and it was just our own ‘human nature’. But that’s exactly what the enemy wanted me to think. That it was just another thing that I did that wasn’t “good enough.” He might be smarter and trickier than me, but the Bible says that he doesn’t have more power than me.

” I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.” (Luke 10:19)

On this day, I seized that power. A true miracle.

But there’s more……..

A week later or so, Pastor Miles went to a big church in Dallas, Texas and delivered a sermon on this exact topic. If you would like to watch this funny and incredibly gifted pastor give this message, I have attached the link. (Fast forward to 37:18 for those that don’t want to watch the music)

http://www.daystar.com/ondemand/video/?video=3979777751001#.VMZT-dPDXjc.gmail

You’ll notice toward the end that he actually makes mention of a girl who had been “believing lies since 2nd grade.” He was talking about me.

See this was another miracle that God gave me. He was already using my story through Pastor Miles to help others. I was humbled by this mention but it made it even more clear that God was calling me to continue expand and tell my story. That where my mind exists so does countless of others out there. So I officially stated this blog and had some true Wisdom to share.

I surrendered my soul, gained wisdom and now understand my true strength in LOVE I have for my body.

STRONG’her | WISE’her | SURREND’her

YOUR TURN | JOURNAL

I would like to challenge you take the time to think about your biggest insecurities and go back in time when those thoughts might have originated.

Some of you may find that the lies just popped-up one day in your innocent little mind. Others might have a voice or person attached to the lie from a parent, bully, or other real life critic. Even if the lie has a face and a name doesn’t mean that the lie didn’t come from the enemy.

I encourage you to think deeply through your life and begin to question–WHAT IF ALL THIS TIME I’VE BEEN BELIEVING A LIE?

If you realize you have been believing 1 or 100, you can pray a simple prayer to take your power back.

“Dear God,

I command that these thoughts of evil be cast out of my mind in the name of Jesus. I release my burden of these thoughts to your love and power you, God. I accept the love You have for me in exchange for this lie I have believed for so long. I believe that you have given me the power over these lies in my head and that I can exercise this power over them every time I pray in Love and acceptance of your love. Protect me God and renew me in your strength of love. Give me a stronger body, mind and soul so I may live our the Greater Purpose you have planned for me.”

I would love to hear from anyone or pray for any one of you that could use some extra prayer!! Please reply to this email with any prayer requests you have, regarding this topic or otherwise!

In Good Faith,

~Mandi

Tags body, evil, Faith, God, good, hope, Love, mindful, miracle, Prayer, strength

Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Uncategorized

[Infographic] 5 Steps to the Best Meal For Your Body!

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date February 13, 2015
2 Comments on [Infographic] 5 Steps to the Best Meal For Your Body!

When it comes to your body, what should be your #1 focus to building the best meal for your body??

My guess is 50% of you are mumbling something about Calories, saying that the QUANTITY of food that you eat is the most important part of weight loss and maintenance.

(Nodding head) Yes, yes very true and valid point.

Then I’d venture to guess that the other 50% of you is saying something about the Macronutrient Breakdown or the QUALITY of your foods and how many grams of Carbohydrates, Fat, and Protein you are getting.

(Raising hands in the air) also, not wrong there! Getting enough protein while not too many carbs and the right amount of healthy fat IS very important too.

In this industry of Health and Fitness, you’ll visit a hundred sites focused on weight loss that will break down weight loss this way.

Focusing on Quantity = Weight Loss

Focusing on Quality = Fat Loss (aka. leaning out)

I have lived the majority of my life focusing on one……then the other…… then both…… then neither! But, I’ve changed my focus and my priority now.

I’ve realized, I have been living just to see results, but I have not been LIVING my best.

I might be at a healthy weight, I might have pretty great muscle mass and a pretty lean figure. But my main issue for the last few years, especially as I age (and don’t worry, I fully admit I’m not even old yet!) is that no matter how healthy my weight and my body fat levels might be, it doesn’t mean my body is FEELING great. If I’m not feeling great, then I’m not living my best life and I’m certainly not living the life at my fullest potential the way God intended.

I am happy to announce, that I have completely re-wired my mindset and approach to my health and to those of my clients. Instead of starting with calculations and macro nutrient distribution of meals plans, we start with the ENERGY components first and foremost!

I’m talking about NUTRIENTS.

More appropriately, getting Nutrient Sufficiency from your food.

Focusing on Nutrients Sufficiency= Happy Body (aka Thriving)

Nutrient deficiency is the one factor that no matter how healthy of a weight you might be, no matter how much muscle mass you’re sporting, or how ripped and toned you are, if you are not getting enough nutrients in your body, then you are simply not living your life the way God intended!

Life should be about thriving! About having energy without depending on things like caffeine or other stimulants to make it through the day. About having sustenance for your brain to function at it’s highest capacity; to have a healthy digestive system that moves quickly and excretes efficiently; to be sure that our immune systems are working at optimal levels to prevent illness and death; to know our systems are all working at peak conditions.

The difference between living and thriving can be found in a Nutrient Focused meal plan!

What’s great about living this way, is that it really is very simple to start! There are only 5 Steps to the Best Meal for your Body! Every meal can get you closer to Nutrient Sufficiency and feeling better every day!

But first, let’s define what we’re talking about when I’m talking about NUTRIENTS.

As I mentioned before, the stars of the weight-loss world are the essential MacroNutrients :

-Protein
-Fats
-Carbohydrates
-(Water)

They are called Macro because you need larger quantities of them (measured in grams)

However, my good but less glamorous friends the Essential MicroNutrients:

-Vitamins
-Minerals

They are called Micro because you need less of them (measure in milligrams or less)

Vitamins and Minerals are incredibly important because they the delivery agents that actually carry out all functions in the body, including converting our food into energy!!

One example) Muscles cannot contract unless the mineral Calcium binds in the muscles cell. That same muscle cannot relax unless Magnesium binds in the muscle cell.

Kinda important, wouldn’t you say?!

So, while it is easy to glance over Vitamins and Minerals and only focus on “weight loss” or “leaning out” but you’d be missing a HUGE, albeit, micro-sized problem! A problem that is all too common when we are just focusing on our BODY goals without fully embracing what it means to be Truly Healthy: Body, Mind and Spirit.

So, I know what you’re thinking! You’re saying, “Yes obviously Amanda, we need our Vitamins and Minerals, that is why I take my multivitamin every day!”

Before you go reaching for your Gummy/Flintstone/WomanDailyChewable or any other version you get, be aware, that simply taking a multivitamin does not mean you are doing a service for your body. In fact, it could be quite deadly.

Many studies have come out warning against the dangers of over supplementing with vitamins ad minerals.

One article from the NY Times said that “scientists have known for years that large quantities of supplemental vitamins can be quite harmful.” See full article HERE

One study from the New England Journal Of Medicine back in 1996 studied “18,000 people who were at an increased risk of lung cancer because of asbestos exposure or smoking received a combination of vitamin A and beta carotene, or a placebo. Investigators stopped the study when they found that the risk of death from lung cancer for those who took the vitamins was 46 percent higher.”

Uhhhh…… what?

The article goes on to site 5 additional studies that showed that taking supplements of several different vitamins and minerals, notably Vitamin E, all were associated with higher rates of mortality.

The article goes on to highlight one important fact about the FDA. Apparently we have not heard about these mortality rates from Vitamins and Minerals because of a botched court hearing and other political reasons. The Vitamin and Mineral companies certainly make a lot of money, and you can bet they enlisted the help of a congressman to help keep their empires in tact.

I’d like to highlight here that we can all thank a politician named, William Proxmire, a Democratic senator from Wisconsin, for getting that bill to protect the Vitamin and Supplement industry banned in in congress back in 1976. Jerk.

Moreover, it has recently been revealed that the industry of Supplements ARE NOT regulated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). So there is no telling if the labels are accurate, the quality is worth it, or the supplements we take are even what they say they are.

Without knowing about all of those important factors, how can you justify the amount of money you are spending on taking them without really knowing if they are working for you or against you?

The obvious first step in Nutrient Sufficiency that I emphatically practice and encourage is to make your priority getting enough nutrients and a wide variety of nutrients. So every meal includes green vegetables, colored vegetables and water.

I know, I know, I know. We are all so sick of people telling us to eat our vegetables!!

But, honestly, in this day and age and in America, the land of plenty, there is such a wide variety of produce available to us, there is hardly any excuse that you can give me for not finding several vegetables in a wide array of colors that you can’t cook in a way to make them edible.

You don’t have to love it…..but I can guarantee you can learn to like it.

I know that we are America, and that we all think we have the right and need to LOVE everything that we do in life otherwise we just don’t do it. But, the reality is that we do a lot of things we don’t LOVE to do. But we do them because we must and because living is a responsibility. You know, like work. Jury duty. Wipe babies butts. Need I go on?

Our bodies are sheer miracles. They are such blessings and we should all be in awe that God has designed us as he has! If anyone has any doubt in God, I dare you to take one human physiology class and tell me the complexity of our systems don’t make you believe in a Creator.

Our bodies not only give us life and function and house our great minds and intelligence. But they are the vessel for which our souls carry out our Greater Purpose!

As with all blessings from God, our bodies are our responsibility. It is vital to take care of them. They are our indeed our temples.

Taking care of your body is our way of showing gratitude to God for the abundant life we live in our bodies. It shows how much you value and recognize the great gift He has given us. In spite of the pain, the hurt, the disease if might have. I still believe that you can find gratitude for what it CAN do and certainly how important it is!

Eating well means you are showing your gratitude to God. Taking care of your body means you do not take it for granted. Loving our Body shows that you Love God.

I encourage you to educate yourself on what you are eating and be more mindful of what goes in your mouth. It also means you might just have to eat some foods that you don’t LOVE. But doing so with a grateful heart will certainly make it taste better than you thought!

Part of my calling and my goal is that I might help educate you, my beloved reader, on some of the very necessary and some less necessary Vitamins and Minerals out there and the ways that you can make your way to a more vivacious, energetic and grateful life!

OH, and you might just lose weight while you’re at it too!! #bonus!

First things first though, let’s make it easy on ourselves and just start with the basics. The Meal Plan design.

Here’s my Inforgraphic to the 5 Steps to a Nutrient-Based Diet!

Want the PDF version of this? Sign up for my newsletter HERE and you’ll get it sent right to your email!

Tags body, carbohydrate, deficiency, Diet, fat, fat loss, God, Health, life, living, minerals, nutrient, nutrition, protein, thrive, vitamins, Weightloss

Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Purging My Past | Moving Beyond The Person I Thought I “Should” Be

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date February 10, 2015

I don’t think I’ve ever felt my body shake as much as it was at that very moment. I was having an ‘out-of-body’ experience to it’s highest degree. I was up on a stage, in front of hundreds of people including my closest friends and family wearing…….gulp…..a bikini about the size of a slice of bread.

How many of you have ever thought you needed to lose weight before you could be happy? How many thought you needed to lose weight before you would find a man to love you? How many have ever thought you needed to be a certain size to represent the woman you think you should be? Have bought certain clothes, styled your hair, and wore certain make-up to fit into that role? Have changed anything about your appearance in order to “dress the part” of the person you thought you should be?

Well, me, up on a stage, in some stripper high heals, wearing a bikini the size of a thumb nail, loaded with tons of make-up and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane is the ultimate version of me trying to “dress the part” of the person I thought I was supposed to be.

To literally set the stage, we need to back-up in time just a bit.

It was about 6-months prior to this moment, I was beginning to experience a significant shift in my life. I decided I was going to pursue my passion of being a nutritionist and personal trainer in addition to my regular full-time job. The opportunity had presented itself at my favorite gym (Bodies by Perseverance in Denver, CO) and it was all clicking into place, the way all good things tend to do. I felt God had led me to that very point and I was nervously anticipating the fun I was going to have seeking a vocation from this passion. I felt strongly that there was a purpose behind this passion.

Along with that feeling of purpose, however, it also evoked a lot of the long held fears of mine including body image issues, insecurities, feeling good enough, smart enough, likable enough…..I mean, enough!

We all deal with body image issues at some point. But it is important to remember that if there is something about your appearance that you would like to change, there are solutions out there to give your confidence a boost.

One of my friends who lives in chicago recently had a mommy makeover after visiting a plastic surgeon and has never felt better. Another friend of mine has recently had a breast augmentation procedure.

Just remember that if you do decide to get plastic surgery, then it is fundamental that you do your research to find a reputable surgeon that you know that you can trust. Not sure where to begin? Why not try doing some research into the best plastic surgeon denver has to offer? Life is all about finding what makes you happy after all.

There are a lot of plastic surgeons out there available for those who are interested in changing their bodies from New York City, NY to Louisville, KY. No matter where you decide to go or what you decide to do remember it’s up to you.

However, as for me, those fears I felt weren’t about IF I was going to move forward (I was committed!), it was more about HOW I was supposed to move forward. Unsure of what path I should take to be “successful.”

Should. It’s just a bad word.

But, instead of waiting and listening, I was off and running! Naturally I am a “DO-er” in life. If I commit to something, I’m ALL-IN and I follow through! Both a great character strength and flaw and you’ll see why.

After seeing dozens of fellow gym-mates, mentors and friends compete in body building competitions I decided that the best way to dive head first into the nutrition field would be to “test my body” on the diets necessary to get ultra lean.

However, not long after I had made my grand announcement and already had my plan in place, I had this nagging in my head. Something, or more accurately, someone, was telling me that I didn’t have to do this show to prove anything. I can still picture exactly where I was when I felt this voice from within. I know now this was the voice of God or what some may call my divine intuition.

The problem was that the FEAR in me shouted louder. As I said, since I’m a person who follows-through, I quite naturally was not about to quit, especially once I made the grand announcement.

Also, I felt enormous self-pressure to look the part of a trainer and nutritionist if I expected anyone to pay for my services. The health and fitness industry very clearly has a “look.” After all, as many clients will remind me, if you don’t look in shape yourself, how are you expected to sell your services? What does that say about your technique? I don’t disagree there.

But that pressure to “look the part” intensifies when you combine it with an already competitive personality and the repetitive FEAR in my head. I didn’t just want to look fit, I wanted to look the fittest. I was determining what “fit” meant by comparing myself to all the other trainers and health enthusiasts out there, which there are thousands of course.

Alas, I entered a bikini competition as a way to really push me to get to where I thought I should to go. It is no small undertaking. In addition to my full-time job, my gym teaching schedule, and my somewhat sad dating and social life, I was working out 2-3 hours per day, 6 days a week. Since my body does not naturally get very lean or lose weight, I had to take some more drastic cuts to certain food groups (ie. carbs) and spent over 5 months in training before I was ready. Going five-months on a strict diet without cheating one time is HARD.

But, I was very driven. I was fueled by this need to prove that I could do it. I was consumed thinking not about the present tense, but about the day of the show and how great I was going to feel in my new body. All the respect and business it would give me!

But that’s ALL I could think about. Forget hearing my intuition at that point. Forget being there for anyone else. I was completely submerged into myself and the show. That was it.

The day of the show, as the other 20 contestants and I all walked off the stage, all of the girls where exhaling and smiling from the nerves and the obvious “rush” of excitement they were feeling.

I was not feeling a rush of excitement. I was feeling morose, sad, lonely, and beyond uncomfortable in my own skin. It wasn’t just because I was literally starving, although that would clearly cause a whole host of negative emotions. No, it was because I thought that this was going to be that peak of greatness, accomplishment and success I had set out to achieve. I finally looked the part!

Instead, I realized that the hill I thought I was climbing was more aptly a hole I was digging. Instead of going higher and higher to my Greater Purpose, I was actually going deeper and deeper away from it.

That is the thing about our Greater Purpose. It is not defined in the ways we think it is defined. We think of ourselves as these soldiers that have to go out and fight for what God wants us to do, but that is not necessarily right. I believe so often, the Good path means that we actually slow down. Listen to Him and check-in with Him. What He might be saying is to do nothing at all. Just BE.

The severe disappointment I felt was not because I didn’t “win” (I was thrilled with 5th place) or because I wasn’t proud of all the work I had done and the courage it took to get up on that stage. I felt all of those things.

No, the disappointment was because I had heard the voice beforehand and I knew better. I knew better than to think this was going to magically prove anything by getting up on that stage. I knew better than to think that by being “skinny” I would be happy! I certainly did not feel skinny at all and I certainly was NOT happy. Let me tell you, backstage at that show, I did not feel skinny. Even at 12% body fat, I felt huge compared to all the other girls there. That was a severe sign that I was not mentally healthy at all!

That was just it. I put so much attention on my outward appearance and “looking healthy” I endured an incredibly unhealthy mind and spirit. I felt horrible about myself and frankly embarrassed. Such that to be completely honest, I have struggled immensely with how to share this story. It causes some significant tinges of guilt for me.

But it must be shared because it is a very valuable part of my story. The lessons I learned from going so far in the WRONG direction were absolutely what I needed at this time.

Let me be very clear, the problem was not that I chose to do a bikini competition. I’m not knocking anyone who has done a competition or intends to do one. I have clients that I take through the process of preparing for a show as long as I know that they are doing it for the right reasons.

The reason WHY you do anything for your body is incredibly important in determining if you can meet a body goal without compromising your mind’s health and your spiritual health.

The problem for me was my WHY. Because my why ultimately came from a place of insecurity. And once you give into that insecurity, that insecurity grows. That’s how FEAR works.

So it meant that this competition and my training superseded everything in my life! It was the only thing I could think about, which meant I was worshiping it more than I was worshiping God. My body had become my idol.

I think most people can see that doing a competition such as this is an extreme exploitation of what it means to be “healthy.” But what if it’s not so obvious and extreme? What it you are compromising your mind and spiritual health in exchange for your body’s health without even knowing it?

There are so many ways that it has become very normal in society worry about our appearance. But the act of “worrying” about fitting-in is the very essence that drives us in FEAR and toward unhealthy goals. While yours might not be as extreme as a body building competition, it could be just as damaging mentally or spiritually. Something very subtle or not-so-subtle things like agonizing over the mirror about your looks; isolating yourself at home because you’re ashamed of how you look; skipping meals or building up eating disorders to cover up guilt; refusing to date until you lose 20lbs; diets, diet pills, and plastic surgery… etc! Our society is taking more and more extreme measures trying to be good enough and we are ignoring our own divine intuition on a daily basis!

By God’s grace, I thankfully came to realize the consequences of not listening to my divine intuition and how far that could take my mind away from a healthy mindset about my health. God took me by my Right hand and helped me navigate my way back to True Health. A journey I am still on and a journey I am called to share with you.

He was always ready for when I was ready.

Today, out of remembrance of this story that I hate to share, and in the interest of continuing to Purge My Past, I did something else that was very good for my mind and soul—I purged the past of my CLOSET!

I realized when looking at ALL the clothes I have, that I often times was shopping for this person that I thought I should be. I was shopping for a body that was not mine. I was also holding onto a lot of clothes that don’t fit me now (a lot of the ones that I was wearing when I was down to 12% body fat). Don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that I could find Black Friday promotions to lower the cost of clothes, but I wasn’t helping myself.

It struck me today, that while I’m purging this story up and trying to focus on my future walk, it would make sense to also purge ALL the ways I had tried to play the role of someone I wasn’t. As you can see by this massive pile of clothes, there was a lot of old ways of thinking and old versions of me that needed to go! I have never felt more free from the burden of being anything other than ME!

It’s time to move beyond the person I thought I “should” be. It’s time to just be me.

JOURNALING QUESTIONS:

What are some of the ways that you tell yourself you have to play the role of a certain person in order to be happy or to be someone you think you should be?

Is there a feeling of divine intuition regarding your appearance that has been nagging at you but you’ve been ignoring? I encourage you to quiet your mind and heart and listen. Write down whatever you hear and if it comes to you, why you think you feel it? If you don’t know why, I encourage you to sit and wait for a while before you move. More will be revealed.

Find a way to purge your past today! Whether it’s throwing out old clothes, burning up old stories, or cutting ties to places or even people that don’t represent the person you ARE.

REFOCUS: Once you have taken the time to purge the past, I encourage you to then reframe your mind back to the present by focusing back on God’s love for you. You don’t need to live in the past of your regrets. Come back to the presence of God’s love.

“I don‘t have time to maintain these regrets, when I think about the way He Loves Me.”
Oh How He Loves Us, by

In Good Health,

Mandi

Tags Bikini Competition, Body Building, Fitness, God, Health, Purge, skinny, Weight loss

Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

“I just want to fit into my skinny jeans” and other ways we fall short

Post author By Amanda Wright
Post date February 4, 2015

One of my health coaching clients sent me an article she received from her gym in New York City. Coincidentally, it was also an article about overcoming the urge to quit and she asked me what I thought about it. A couple days ago, I debuted my first blog also on ‘not quitting’ (which I purposely chose the positive affirmative of “Tips to Keep Climbing”). If you didn’t see it, check it out HERE!

This other article was written with the intention of helping keep people from already giving up on their New Years resolutions, which as we all know is very common around this time of year! Just 1-month in the New Year and a large population of people have already forgotten those new habits they were so determined to get right this year! Like many in the Health and Fitness Community, this gym came up with a very concise and straight forward list of tips:

1. Remember the reason why you started
2. Speak Positive Truths
3. It’s Just A Valley (ie. don’t quit from the challenge)
4. Play It Loud (get new music)
5. “They” expect you to quit (do it to show others they’re wrong)
6. Look at the ladies (or guys) for motivation
7. Eat Well (don’t cut too many calories)
8. Go To Bed (sleep)
9. Picture the New You (imagine your success)

They are all friendly reminders and with good intention behind it. I am not bashing the intention of this article at all and on the surface, they are all great tips.

But that seems to be my biggest issue with the way the Health and Fitness generation is trying to teach health. Everywhere you look, you are given tip after tip after tip! Often times, they are contradictory too and more confusing than anything.

But the reason why I feel I am called to this platform writing and expressing my view of health and why God is calling me not only to write my truth but to also question the truths that I have long been accepting from “experts”. My whole life I have been trying “harder” to follow ALL the tips at once, and feeling defeated when I couldn’t sustain any of them for very long.

It wasn’t until I dug deeper into my health in my spirit and my mind that I was finally able to have real impact on my body’s health. I believe that we as a society need to GO DEEPER in order to invoke any real change in the trajectory of our health both as individuals and as a nation.

We can see all around us that we have a health epidemic on our hands. Our nation is sick, literally dying from health related causes. Our kids, our elderly, our poor and our rich–it doesn’t escape anyone. Our health has everything to do with much more than what’s on the surface too. Ironically, there have never as many Diet and Fitness Experts in society as there are today too. Thousands of them out there that will give you a thousand different “Tips” on how to lose weight and meet your goals. And YET, if you look around, all these “experts” aren’t really having any impact.

To Me, most people will fit into one of three categories:

A. Yo-Yo Dieters— hopping on and off the health bandwagons in an “all or nothing” fashion

B. Apathetic— that choose not to pursue their health and quit before we even start, seeing that the struggle is not worth the fight or it’s just “how they’re built.”

C. Extremists— The Uber fit, overdoing our goals to meet some unrealistic body image that doesn’t actually exist for long-term health.

As I read the list from the New York City gym, I don’t disagree with any one of the tips. But I also find the list to be very shallow in motivation and severely lacking in the DEPTH or any real CONVICTION behind it.

For example, if I were the old me and thinking about my New Year’s resolutions of years past, for Tip #1: Remember the Reason Why You Started?, my answer would have been something like:

“I want to fit into my size 6 skinny jeans so I can feel confident and better about myself!”

And I would log hour after hour at the gym until I reached my goal! Then, yes, as I slid on those size 6 skinny jeans I would feel really good about myself…….for about a week. Maybe two.

Then I would need another “motivation” or new “goal” to keep me going further otherwise I would just go back to drinking and binge eating and soon the skinny jeans wouldn’t fit so well any more.

That is literally how I lived the majority of my life. I was a “new goal” junkie, just creating more and more goals to get me “fitter” and “fitter.” Never having actually felt fit at all. Making small-time goals and reaching them, only to not feel as great about them as I thought I would. Most of the time I actually felt disappointed by them! Something was lacking. There was no “Joy” in my success. There was no real success!

The type of True Health and thus True Goals I am talking about are much deeper than this. To make goals based on FAITH and not FEAR. To use GOD and not GUILT. Tying our goals to our Greater Purpose makes the reason why we get-up-and-going to be a much deeper and much more life changing.

My True Health Goals look something like this:

I want to feel loved, fit and good enough no matter what my jean size is. I want to go to the gym and increase my strength and power so that I know if God calls on me to do something great, I will be physically strong enough to do it. I want to be a shining example for my kids, my friends and my family and I want to show them that anything is possible at any age. And, I know I can do this because I know “I can do all thing through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Phil 4:13)

Doesn’t my WHY resonate SO much deeper to SOULFUL level? Doesn’t the above goal not just hit what I want for my Body, but also my Mind and my Sprit too? Doesn’t it sound like the kind of life-changing conviction that will change my whole life and keep me motivated for longer? Not just help me with some small-time skinny jeans goal for the New Year?

So what if we turn that list into something with more DEPTH? Take their great tips and just add some Greater Purpose thinking behind it?

I think it would look something like this:

1. Remember why God is calling you to be fit, how does it tie to your Greater Purpose?
2. You are able to speak positive truths because you are perfectly Loved
3. Valley’s are purposeful so you always must rely on God. Embrace the challenge and draw nearer to Him.
4. The Music Lives Within— No matter what beat you hear, the movement will come from within you. Tap into that beat.
5. “Do Not Judge or You Too Will Be Judged” (Matt 7:1)- Think about ways you can support others in their goals and you will find that they will support you back.
6. Look to your soul for motivation and the men/women will come in the right time.
7. Eat Well to sustain your fuel for your Greater Purpose.
8. Find REAL rest to renew your body, mind and soul.
9. Picture Yourself Living Out your Greater Purpose!

Journal/Thought Provocation:

What are some of the goals that you have made so far this year? What are some ways you can re-frame those goals to serve your Greater Purpose?

If you are struggling with knowing what your Greater Purpose is, I invite you to sit and pray about it. Even if an answer doesn’t come to you immediately, the act of listening will be rewarding for you soon enough. What God might be telling you is that your Greater Purpose for right now is to do exactly what you are doing, but do it in a way that would bring honor to Him. Do it with integrity, courage, faith and love. Their is purpose in everything we do, so do it well and do it for Good.

In Good Health,

Mandi

Tags Diet, Exercise, Faith, Fit, Fitness, Goals, God, Gym, Health, Love, New Years Resolutions, Obesity, Obstacles, Perseverance, Weight loss

GO IN WITH A PLAN

ALLOW OTHERS TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR BODY, THEIR PROCESS AND THEIR FEELINGS.

I TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR MY OWN BODY, MY OWN PROCESS AND MY OWN FEELINGS.

HELP TO CREATE THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT

PRACTICE DOES MAKE PROGRESS!

GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD.

Less GUILT and More GOD.

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5

When it comes to your body, what should be your #1 focus to building the best meal for your body??

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