This week I continue on my quest to share some of the ways I #Ritualize my health! As I’ve explained, #rituals are just how I find ways to attach greater enjoyment from the regular health habits I’m trying to make second-nature. If I add a *MANDI STYLE* to some otherwise boring health habit, I find that it ups the “reward” center of my brain to thinking what I’m doing is fun and enjoyable instead of boring and horrible “healthy” stuff.
You will never learn to live a healthy life FOREVER unless you find some way to enjoy it! It is simple psychology and patterns human behavior! You have to change your brain chemistry to ENJOY being healthy and change any part of your life!
I believe RITUALS are the #1 WAY to find greater enjoyment. Being MINDFUL and INTENTIONAL with your rituals is so effective to making your rituals the healthy ones instead of the unhealthy ones.
So, as we have probably all heard, the solution to ANY PHYSIQUE change you desire for your body is going to come down to 80% NUTRITION CHOICES.
While working out is amazing and wonderful, if you don’t change your food and beverage habits, you may never see any weight loss, muscle gain or whatever your desired change may be.
YOU CAN’T OUT TRAIN A BAD DIET. It is that simple.
That does not mean you take the “well why even bother!” approach and stop working out or putting in effort for exercise! Fitness brings FAR more benefits to your health than the aesthetic reasons we workout including psychological benefits, emotional stress relief, the metaphorically motivating aspects, heart health, disease reduction, and FUN, to name a few.
NO, my point in always pointing out that 80% of your body goal is dependent on your nutrition is to be sure you get the message that NUTRITION IS REALLY IMPORTANT so you don’t shirk responsibility in managing what you allow in your body.
I don’t advocate being a ‘perfectionist’ eater at all (that usually makes us suffer the consequences of an “unhealthy mindset” which renders us unhealthy overall), but I do want to empower all people and my clients to take proper responsibility for the “temple” that is their body.
Eating healthy is HARD because so much of it is dependent on things that we humans don’t manage very well–our emotions, stress, money, and planning. And not forgetting that most of us like to add extra salt to our meals to give it a heightened taste.
But this is actually bad for your health. Even though the likes of salt and sugar taste nice in our meals, it is unhealthy, and can even create a lot of health problems down the line, especially if you eat more than you should. The salt vs sugar comparison is an ongoing debate about which one is worse for your heart, and which one is likely to bring on a heart attack. The truth is is that they’re equally as bad as each other, and you should take great care when it comes to planning your meals, and how much of each ingredient you add.
I believe just implementing a solid set of RITUALS to what you eat, how you plan and cook your meals, and how you make decisions while you’re dining out will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE in you feeling more REWARDED for taking the positive responsibility of governing your body with love and care.
Alas, here are my TOP 5 MEAL PLANNING RITUALS that I love! Use them to think about your FOOD RITUALS and how you can implement more HEALTHY associations and less unhealthy ones.
Top 5 Meal Planning Rituals
1. GROCERY SHOPPING WITH A HOT TEA AND A FULL STOMACH:
You’ve probably heard this one before but it’s a huge one for me–don’t grocery shop while hungry! If I decide to go to the grocery store on an empty stomach I will have eaten half a bag of grapes by the time get to the checkout counter as well as will find 3X more food especially in the form of chocolate, processed snacks and a lot of other things that just “looked” good at the time.
My goal while grocery shopping is to not get too carried away with spending (hello Whole Foods!), to buy mainly Holistic food choices (i.e. whole, unprocessed foods) found on the perimeter of the grocery store, and to purchase the satisfying variety of foods that will keep me eating Nutrient Based for all of my meals the next few days.
While I am a person that actually ENJOYS grocery shopping (I know not everyone does) to further increase the “reward” value I’m feeling, I will make myself a nice HOT TEA (or cold if it’s really hot out) to sip on while I walk. My favorite tea is Jasmine Green Tea. All green teas have this wonderful affect of just a little bit of caffeine matched with fat burning antioxidants AND this palette cleansing effect. It really helps to curb any cravings I might be having. Thus, as I’m walking by the chocolate aisle I’m less likely to wander in and overindulge. Any type of quenching treat is a great idea for all!
2. VEGGIES/FOOD PREP TO SOME MUSIC:
When I get home from the grocery store, it is always best if I go ahead a chop up all the veggies and produce and put it into containers on the shelf that is at eye level. First, having the veggies pre-chopped makes them more accessible and will help me EAT THEM. Then, I know if I keep them in the bags and put them in the drawer, I’m must more likely to FORGET about them and then they go bad and I have to throw them out (which I really hate wasting food!). So I put them at EYE LEVEL to prompt me to eat them.
SO, I don’t usually have a whole lot of time to chop up veggies since I’m always feeling “behind” in something for my business. Sometimes I will time myself to see how quickly I can do it. Other times, I’ll just plan this for my “break” time that I do about every 90min-2hr of work. I put on some jams on the speakers and get to choppin’! It becomes pretty stress relieving and will make it a much more enjoyable activity! Once or twice a week when I do more extensive food prep (like bake chicken breasts or baked sweet potatoes) I especially implement the music/dance party! I know that food prep is a boring, mundane task but it’s something that has to be done unless you use a meal kit. If you’re interested in learning more about meal kits, it might be worth reading this hello fresh vs blue apron review page. I can certainly see the advantages of meal kits so if the prep is something you dread every week, this might be an option for you. Just make sure you’re eating healthily.
3. FOOD PLATING AS ART DESIGN:
I think the “prettier” your food is, the more appealing it is to eat. I have started engaging in some meal planning tactics that help to make for “prettier” plates.
The more colorful the food is, the prettier it is! Thinking about this helps me first buy the array of colorful fruits and vegetables that will help me get a nice NUTRIENT-BASED variety that is really, REALLY important to True Health. Then I just make sure they get on the plate and I will eat them!
Also, if you really want to enforce this one to your “reward” center of your brain, take a picture of your food! I know the whole “food posting” tendency is slightly controversial and gets a lot of slack, but I personally find it a very valuable step in showing others that you are healthy and to give others ideas of meals! Why not shine the light?!
4. FOLLOW A PLATE GRAPHIC:
Metabolic Effect Food Graphic
This kind of piggy backs on the last ritual, but this one works for me because I get that feeling of “reward” when I actually feel organized in something. If I make an effort to consciously organize my eating without having to resort to things like measuring food or counting macronutrients, I am still finding a way to monitor my portion sizes but in a less rigorous way.
I am not against such practices of counting and logging food– in fact, I do it during certain seasons of strength training and I do ask most of my clients trying to lose a certain amount of fat to implement this habit for themselves. But for my very busy life right now, I appreciate just using a plate graphic to help hold me accountable. This is my LIFESTYLE way of doing this because I believe no person can reasonably log their food for the rest of their life.
Using a plate goes as follows:
1)Choose the proper plate size for your meal. This is dependent on your body size (the smaller you are, the smaller the plate should be and vice versa) as well as the # of meals you eat per day. If you eat 3x per day, you can have 3 bigger plates. If you eat 5-6x per day, you should be using 5-6 smaller plates. It just helps you eat the proper amount for you.
Choose Plate size based on # of Meals and Body Size (I chose the smaller plate)
2) Fill at least 1/2 of the plate with veggies. If it’s a green veggies, especially lettuce, fill the whole darn thing! Make sure you get some colored produce on there too (a nod to my Ritual #3). The “heavier” the vegetable, the more likely it is to have some fiber in there and make you feel full. I recommend a lot of cruciferous vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, bok choy etc.)
Colorful Cauliflower, Carrots and Celery
3) Fill justunder 1/4of the plate with a starchy carb source (sweet potato, brown rice, corn, beans, oats) OR fruit.
Added baked sweet potato slices which I like because they are naturally sweet and don’t need butter added.
4) Fill just over 1/4 of the plate with a lean protein of choice (fish, chicken, turkey, sirloin, bison, shrimp, egg whites etc for those that eat meat).
I’ve really enjoyed lean ground Bison lately, it has higher Iron and lower fat than Beef.
5) Add a “dollop” of fat in there (about the size of your thumb or two). If you cooked your veggies in a fat, that counts. If you are eating a higher fat source of protein (like bacon, ribeye, salmon,or whole eggs) that counts too. Otherwise, grab some guacamole to dip your veggies into, some olives on the side, or some coconut butter for your fruit or starch.
Today, I chose guacamole! Yummy polyunsaturated fat source!
5. PRACTICE THE SAME MODEL WHEN OUT TO EAT!
Whenever I eat at a restaurant, I actually try to follow the same principles of #4! Now, I won’t get the chance to actually plate my own food, but I will ORDER as best as I can to this same degree. For this reason, I will order a la carte A LOT or will just ask for exactly what I want (which a smile and respect of course!). 🙂
1.VEG: I start with veggies and this usually is just me asking for a side or two of whatever the chefs vegetables are that day or maybe get a side salad. Sides are usually always cooked in oil (as is everything when dining out!) but I’ll see if they can do light oil sometimes. For salads, I always get dressing on the side to avoid them dousing the thing with way too much.
2. PROTEIN: I’ll always find grilled fish or chicken as an easy go-to.
3. STARCH: For starch I’ll do brown rice or a sweet potato if they have them. If not, I’ll go for fruit for dessert–helps with my sweet tooth! If I plan on going for chocolate (which I do usually for one meal per day) I’ll just count that and try only 2-3 bites! If I’ve decided to have a glass of wine I count that as my starch too (only 1 glass though).
4. FAT: Since most restaurants already use way more oil that I do at home, I assume I’ve already had more than enough fat to necessitate extra fat sources. Therefore, I try to avoid adding extra “fat” options to my meals on purpose.
This is has HUGE reward incentive in the RESULTS I actually get. We travel all the time so we are eating out all the time. We’ve got no choice to so we have made the changes we need to make it work for us both health-wise and financially. For example, my other half has an AMEX Gold Card because she found it was the best option for people who eat out a lot and we also make sure the places we eat are healthy. If I DON’T implement this ritual, I will put on weight really fast. Sometimes its worth it and I’m perfectly find accepting that! But the rest of the time, I try to follow a the same steps to keep things as consistent in my eating as possible!
These are just a few ideas of some meal #RITUALS I have been implementing lately! I’d love to hear what you’ve been doing!!
Monday on the blog as the inaugural #STRONGherAUGUST series I went over the #1 way I get into my health rhythm and flowwwwwww…..
RITUALS!
Today, I want to share exactly how I am currently #Ritualizing my WORKOUTS!
As much as I love the burn from lifting and the endorphin high I feel after I get in a good session, I don’t often “feel” like getting over to the gym. But by #RitualizingIt!, I add in little “me” components that make me feel better, look better, and therefore incentivize me to show up for ME.
Here are my current TOP 5 WORKOUT #RITUALS:
1. Look Good, Train Hard:
I kinda stole this from my girl Serena Williams motto, but honestly, I train MUCH HARDER when I put on clothes that make me feel hotter than my normal disheveled look (which I may or may not be currently representing while writing, glad there are no cameras right now!), which is why I recommend you to definitely look into buying some good quality gym clothes, similar to the ones available from companies like Anax Fitness! So yes, I’m the girl that puts on some tinted moisturizer, mascara, lip gloss or WHATEVER makes me feel better when I walk past the mirror at the gym.
I know it doesn’t matter to God or to anyone else what I LOOK LIKE on the outside, I do this because it matters to me what I FEEL like. I am a person that unapologetically feels better when I put in more effort. That’s just me.
I mean it seems to work for Serena right? She always looks great when she takes to the court, and she looks even better when she has reigned triumphant. What are the chances? I would love to have the chance to play a bit of tennis, but I wouldn’t even know where to start. I’ve heard one of my friends say that I should probably try and find my NTRP level to help me determine where I rank and then go from there. It’s not a bad idea, but I’m not sure if it is something that I want to look into just yet. I think I’m more interested in what I look like when exercising.
This also means that I do care about my workout clothes too! I love a cute hat which I will wear with some hoop earrings (don’t judge), a breathable but slimming workout top and any pair of pants that makes my booty look dyn-o-mite!
Yeah, when I first put on Lululemon pants and look at my arse in the mirror, I was like……
Here’s All My Money Lulu!!
This ritual works! The second I have a new top or accessory, I’m that that GYM!
2. I Started A Training Notebook:
I’m organized in certain areas of my life more than others, but I wouldn’t say I’m exactly “Type A.” I’m a solid “Type B” which I don’t think is a thing, but I just made it one.
One area I have upped my “Type-B”ness is in this kinda “old school” idea of starting a workout journal,. I started only recently to write down and recording how much I’m doing, burning, and lifting for my workouts and it has been making a HUGE difference in my motivation and progression!
Also, I find that the act of writing down my workouts IN ADVANCE helps to make sure I push myself hard and record how well I did.
Then, the next time I do that same lift, like Back Squats for example, I know exactly where I need to start from and make more concerted efforts to increase my weight, reps or intensity.
This is the policy that I actually love to see for my Health Coaching clients for their personalized workouts I give them each week. It helps to be held accountable for the training and to really see the marked improvements!
#Ritualize it even more by making it some cute notebook the represents you!
3. I Ritualize My Warm-Up:
To make sure I do it, I came up with a routine that kinda gets me going, warms up my joints, and ensures I remain as injury free as possible these days. I prescribe the same warm-up to all of my health coaching clients too.
WARM UP RITUAL:
In includes:
5 Mins Foam Rolling (legs, glutes, lats)
Dynamic Stretching (moving through Yoga Sun Salutations etc.)
Diaphragmatic Breathing (deep breaths in, slowwwww exhale as if breathing through small straw).
I also have been STARTING my workouts these days with some HIIT Sprints for 10 mins. I used to do them as a “finisher” of my workout, but more often than not I would cut out on them early if I was short on time. I read on one of my favorite writers and mentors, JillFit.com that if you start your workout with your HIIT sprints, it helps to slim down legs for those of us that carry our weight mainly in our legs. The jury is still out on whether this strategy WORKS or not for me (these things take time and consistency), but overall I like doing the sprints early to just get them done.
Pre-Lift HIIT:
To do these, I use my Heart Rate monitor on my Fitbit Charge 2. Its the best I’ve found, plus it looks amazing with my replacement pink band from Mobile Mob. I will run at an exerted speed until my heart rate reaches 85% of my max HR or higher (the orange zone), then walk slowly until my heart rate gets back down to 60% of my max HR (the blue zone). I repeat this effort for as many rounds as I can fit into to 10 mins. Done!
An example of an effective HIIT workout! You want your HR to get high and recover too to get the most fat burning, metabolic pushing heart rates possible!
While I don’t think its “good” for our bodies to do the same workouts too many times in a row, to #Ritualizesome parts makes it a “no brainer” to just get it done!
4. My Mind:Body 1,2 PUNCH:
While I love a great play list to get me into a workout zone, lately I have been really into using the time to soak up some KNOWLEDGE. I will listen to a Podcast or book on tape via the Audible app a good 90% of my workouts these days!
With a full-time business start up, I feel like there is always more I want to be learning right now. I call myself very “spongy” for the amount of knowledge I’m trying to soak out of every minute of every day. But I find it really helpful in processing the information through movement and offers a very nice, NEW distraction away from the workout. Having a new business is difficult. Things move very slowly at the start, meaning that it can be worrying for business owners to know when their company is going to start making money. It’s also difficult for small businesses to grow internationally without a merchant account provider, however, some of them class smaller businesses as high-risk if they’re not making enough money. Additionally, high risk merchant accounts may have more chargebacks than other businesses, meaning that merchant account providers are more likely to go for the safer option. That’s always in the back of my mind. If we don’t make enough money with the business, we might never be able to grow it internationally. Workouts often take my mind off this.
My current favorite Podcasts are: The Fitcast with Kevin Lararabee Amy Porterfiled (online business guru) The Nutrition Diva with Monica Reinagel
Spiritual Podcasts I love (all have a very different “style”): The Rock Church (San Diego based Christian Church) Daily Hope with Rick Warren (Orange Country, CA) Christ Community Church (Greeley, CO where I’m from)
T.D. Jakes The Potters Touch (Dallas, TX Southern Church!)
Audible Recent Favorite Audiobooks: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell Daring Greatly by Brene Brown The Power of Full Engagement by Jim or and Tony Schwartz Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst
5. My Post Workout “Health” Treat:
So “treat” is kinda a lame term for my psyche and I DON’T want to indicate that I actually think some foods are “treats” in the way that makes them “bad” in the way that makes them “guilty pleasures.” Overall, I’m talking about carbohydrates which I associate as my “treat” foods because I don’t necessarily eat starchy carbs at every meal. For my body type, lower starchy carbohydrates work best for me and I will try to eat them mainly around my most active times of day.
Right after my workout is the BEST time to eat starchy carbs so I will use this incentive ritual to treat myself to something that I otherwise don’t eat on my rest days due to my lower activity. (The more active I am, the more carbohydrates I eat to help sustain high energy and a high functioning metabolism.)
The perfect example is a Protein Bar…a.k.a glorified candy bar. I have been loving the Nugo STRONGER Bars in the low sugar flavors (I have bought from Whole Foods, Sprouts Market and on Amazon). I also love the RxBar brand (sold online) because these are made of only “whole food” sources like egg whites, almonds, dates etc.
(I get no endorsements or free products from either company, just wanted to pass along my current favorites!)
Another great post workout treat I love is a PROTEIN PANCAKE. I’ll make them “whole food” based as follows:
1/3 Cup Pure Pumpkin
1/4 cup Gluten Free Oats or Qia Seed
3-4 egg whites
2 Tbs Coconut Flour
1 Tbs Arrowroot Starch
Vanilla, Salt, Stevia (if desired)
Cook stove top approx 2-3 mins each side on medium heat.
Top with fresh berries or banana, coconut butter or almond butter.
Having a solid 5 rituals to help me get to the gym, enjoy it as much as I can that day, and get it DONE are really all I need.
I’m curious, do you have some gym or workout rituals that make things more enjoyable for you? Please leave a comment below on what rituals you have been into lately and why you think they are working to motivate you! Help others learn new tricks!
What is the #1 thing that determines whether you have a “Healthy Day” or not?!
I have found my *THING* and once I tell you I bet you will totally agree with me…..AND will probably love that I am offering you a FREE checklist of said *THING* so you can get in on the practice as well!! Be sure you look for it at the end!
So here’s the thing—-it appears the entire month of July seems to have passed within a blink of an eye! WHERE DID IT GO?!
My husband and I were down in San Diego for the month while my 3-year old stepdaughter, Eden, was staying with us and (as is often is the case for me in July) my normal health practices kinda fell by the wayside. I noticed my physical health somewhat declining and I decided it was time to learn more about my body heath and go for a checkup at my local clinic. I couldn’t keep letting myself slip like I was.
Jumping into the moving vortex that is parenting a boisterous and hilarious “threenager” will certainly do that to ya, but also, July is just one of those months where, year-after-year, I kinda just relax a little bit more. It starts with the 4th holiday and then I usually have a vacation in there or two, certainly a few more BBQs, a family reunion and before you know it, my normal exercise practices have taken a month-long hiatus.
I happen to think this break is an EXCELLENT idea for everyone and I do it intentionally. I know from years of experience, that you CANNOT go 12-months of non-stop “fat loss” efforts. It doesn’t work for our bodies, our minds OR our souls.
So when the Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
For your TRUE HEALTH, this means you need to take SEASONS where you just REST and you just take a chill pill on the whole “count every macro that goes into my mouth” or the “count every rep and every calorie I burn” type of attention to detail (if you’re into that sort of thing….).
This is not to say that I didn’t CARE about my health for an entire month! Actually, quite the opposite! For me, this just means that I take a season off of my BODY health practices and usually make greater efforts for my MINDSET and my SPIRITUAL health.
Actually, my real test for my “Healthy Mindset” is IF I can take a hiatus from the gym a bit more, eat a few more pieces of chocolate and cups of frozen yogurt and…..wait for it…..
NOT BEAT MYSELF UP FOR IT!
I monitor my “Self-Talk” and what I’m saying to myself when I look in the mirror, when I’m experiencing the stomach aches that inevitably come too (darnit dairy!), and just breath into the space of imperfection. It is a daily mental battle. I won’t lie to you and tell you I was really strong mentally every day of the month, but I can tell you, my WISE’her practices have paid off! I certainly am stronger mentally in my health that I was just a few months ago! #ProgressNotPerfection!
As far as my Body’s Health went during this season of “chill more” and “worry less” I still focused definitely on movement with lots of park time and certainly lifting up that 46-lb ball of sugar that is my step-daughter(!) and even stuck to my Nutrient-based eating that I always do (I just added more chocolate and sugar into the mix)! It was a really enjoyable break!
So whether July was that sort of month for you or not, I want to encourage you to TAKE A MONTH (or two!) where you do intentionally plan to REST your body for a season. But then…..get back to WORK.
SO WHAT NOW?
After you take a season OFF of your normal exercise and/or heightened nutrition focus, there is always this TOUGH PHASE of getting back into the rhythm of things!
But that’s really all you need to focus on….THE RHYTHM.
THIS IS WHERE IT’S AT! This is the #1 thing that will determine whether I have a “Healthy Day” or not….
Finding My Health and Fitness Floowwwww!
I believe, to effectively put your health back into practice, you must find that rhythm and flow that comes into good, healthy practices.
The best way to find that RHYTHM is in my favorite step to SURREND’hered Health——–> RITUALIZE It!
In my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development, I highlight the two very important steps in the path to True Health.
Step #5:Habitualize It! –>this is creating new healthy habits to replace old unhealthy habits.
and my FAVORITE….
Step #6:Ritualize It! –> THIS is finding those personal preferences, tricks, and other appealing practices around the new healthy habits that will get you to DO THEM!
Ritualizing your Health becomes a rhythm and a flow when you plan for the rituals rather than plan for the “check list”of habits you need to do.
For example, I find the stupidest little details really enjoyable in my day!
From the coffee cup I use in the morning when I do my morning quiet time with God…..
To the little tiny dishes I use to fill with nuts and treats….
To THE song that I use as my anthem of the moment (i.e. gym, God-time, dance-time etc.)
To the pen and special notebook I use to write down my workouts.
Everything that I do well for my health, I do because I have RITUALIZED my practice of it and have thus found the RHYTHM and FLOW I need to have a fully successful day practicing better health practices.
For you I have 2 Special Treats:
I have created an easy check list of the 7 SURREND’hered Rituals that I do every day for my True Health practices! You can get a copy of this Ritual Checklist when you subscribe to the #STRONGherAUGUST month long series of more blogs and articles on all things related to become STRONG’her in my Body’s Health. All month I’m going to focus on more workouts to try, more metabolism tips, more nutrition education, and more recipes for success! Click HERE to subscribe and you’ll also be the first to see the next great things I’m doing on A. Wright Fit come this FALL!
For your viewing pleasure, I have the video that I created for the 7-Steps of SURREND’hered Goal Development series on how to effectively RITUALIZE It! I’m a HUGE dork so it’s a good one! 😉
As I am in the business of helping others cultivate lasting change in their lives, I have written and truly believe that if we solely rely on will power to manifest any changes in our life, we soon recognize that our WILL POWER quickly becomes our WON’T POWER because we are relying on such small, finite power within ourselves.
To find our GREATER POWER we must seek and find our GOD POWER which is limitless and infinite.We find our GOD POWER when we engage and learn from a relationship with GOD and can focus and harness from His Spirit within us.He always provides what we need in that moment we need it.
I have learned this 1000-fold from first hand experience, but, God did not design us to have to learn everything from our own trials.God gives us each other to learn from too.
As I have built A. Wright Fit as a way to share my own faults and flaws in an effort to teach others as I “Find A Wright Fit” on my path to True (read: balanced) Health, I have found God has also provided me the gift of being on the receiving end of learning through other people’s lives as well.
Such is the case of a story I want to share with you today. I was talking with a new friend and new potential client we’ll call “K” about some recent exciting changes she’s been going through.
I first met K just a few months ago as she was beginning life under a new boss and an exciting new promotion at her big corporate job.She was so honored and encouraged by her upward movement with a company she loves.Now with her new job and new boss, she was working harder than she had ever worked before, but work that feels so rewarding.
But, in our last encounter, I saw a less enthusiastic K.The problem is that as she has been working her tail off, other people in her company, at her same level and position no less, are doing what many flawed people do best—lots of gossip, jealousy, disparaging and waiting for her to fail so they could be “right” about their cynicism.
She came to me needing to vent.“I feel so lucky and can’t believe it’s all happening and yet I am so overwhelmed by all this negativity and criticism around me.“They” are so mean and I am constantly thinking about what “they” are saying about me.I break down all the time.”
Then she said it…..
“I know I just need to be STRONGER…..”
Scrrrrrrrrrcccccch.(Record Stops) My ears perk up.
What K is experiencing is something I have experienced personally and what I see ALL THE TIME from friends, family and clients.
When we get so caught up worrying about the CIRCUMSTANCE and the NAYSAYERS, we fail to see the BIG PICTURE and the power we have in these very moments.
K has been looking at her situation as “luck” that she found herself under her new boss at work and up for a promotion.God sees this as His design for her, a step so worthy of her.
K thinks she needs more “strength” herself. God has been patiently waiting for her to finally use HIS power within her.
K thinks this is all about her “job” and being “strong enough.” God sees this as the prime opportunity to finally build the relationship He’s been seeking with her! This is one of just a million ways He’s been trying to get her attention.
K has been trying to face her problems at work with WILL POWER, but she has quickly realized that her new position alone is maxing out all the will power she has!New changes and our careers can quickly monopolize every ounce of will power we have.
And, just as I mentioned at the beginning, when we solely rely on will power, it quickly becomes WON’T POWER.It just won’t work for the long haul. We’ll be miserable!
Here’s the Problem withWill Power:
If she is maxing out all her will powerjust at her job, the other areas of her life—her health, her relationships, her Faith— are all going to suffer from not getting enough attention and balance.
She is seeing that she isn’t able to sustain the will power to do her job really well ANNNNNDD the will power to combat the naysayers. On top that, she also wants to date and find a healthy relationship and get married one day.On tippy top of that, she has also come to me expressing a real desire to getting healthier and less “skinny fat” as she puts it. 🙂
We all want it all right?!This IS what God wants for us too. But He wants us to do it His way, not our way.
So, as much as I love new clients, I told her honestly that I can see she’s not in a place where she can focus on health changes too as I right away recognized that her will power tank is running on empty.Adding more things on her “to do” list DOES NOT HELP when you are already feeling overwhelmed!
If K doesn’t find more POWER within her, she is going to continue to struggle at her new position and struggle with attempts to do all the other things she wants to do in life.Because, in all likelihood, the constant gossip, criticism and annoying comments aren’t going to go away….this is corporate America we’re talking about!
But, even if they do, other problems are just going to replace them until K learns the Greater Lesson she is meant to learn from God.
I wanted to share K’s story, not only because it was tremendously helpful and insightful for me to learn from but I also know that many of you have felt these exact sentiments and could empathize from your own circumstances.
Perhaps you are running on emotional “empty” as well?Perhaps you have maxed out all your will power to just one area of YOUR life and here has come another problem you can’t seem to handle?
Perhaps you too have dreams of having more to your life than just the _____________ (area) but can’t imagine how you’re going to find the will power, time OR the energy!?
Perhaps you have recently thought that exact same phrase as K and myself, “If I were just STRONGER…..”
Don’t. Fall. For. The Trap.
The devil with prey on our challenging circumstances and cause you to think of them as a “bad sign” or proof that you are indeed “unworthy” of the life you have dreamed for yourself.He’ll want to persuade you to give up and play small by focusing on all the wrong things.
But what you may be needing, just like K is needing, is not a newfound ANSWER but rather A NEW QUESTION.
You see, when you experience pain, when you are going through trouble and trauma and uncertain times, you must focus on the (W)RIGHT QUESTION to get the (W)RIGHT ANSWER (and then “You’ve Got the (W)Right stuff….baby”)
Couldn’t resist…..
THE (W)RIGHT QUESTION:
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO LEARN HERE GOD?
I love what Rick Warren says about our problems.He says, “God is not interested in your circumstances as much as He is interested in your CHARACTER.”
In other words, what character values are you cultivating as you harness your energy for your problems? Where are you putting all of your hope and faith?
Is it in yourself and all that you are able to do (i.e. your WILL POWER)?
OR are you praying and seeking God’s power through God’s wisdom?
Refocusing your mind and thoughts on what GOD might be wanting you to learn through prayer and reading the Word of God,will provide you with the REAL answer and your GREATER POWER which is your GOD POWER.
Then you’ll find, even if your circumstances don’t change, your perspective of them will, and that will make ALL THE DIFFERENCE!
God allows everything to enter into our life to teach us and be used for Good by cultivating the necessary character changes you need.This includes bad decisions we make, bad things that other people say or do to us, and the havoc that the devil and evil will cause for us too.ALL can be made RIGHT with God and will serve our Greater Purpose.
So keep the Faith and keep asking God the (W)Right Question to get the (W)Right Answer! Remember, in order to HEAR God, you must spend time in PRAYER and in His WORD(i.e. reading the Bible) and it will be revealed!
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Romans 8:28 NLT)
I am currently traveling back from my a long weekend with my entire family to celebrate my parents 40th wedding anniversary in Breckenridge, CO! What an honor it is to be the daughter of such a loving and committed couple, it is truly a gift from them I could never repay. It has been invaluable to my life.
They met when my mom, Kathi, was 15 and my dad, Ralph, was 18.They were married just 5-years later and have remained faithful and committed to their love these 40-years later.What I love the most, is not just that they have been married for this long, but they have actually been happily marriedand have showcased this affection and love to my siblings and I throughout.
For some, they might look at this 40-year success as a “miracle” in today’s society, but for our family, we know it is not some magical act of luck that has kept them thriving in marriage, but the workmanship of God.
It has been part of God’s Purpose for them to find each other, marry and grow in Him as they grew in their love. My parents simply made the decision to continue to stay Faithful to His purpose and promises in their life.They will tell us it has not always been easy to thrive in a loving marriage and family of 5.
They have had their definite challenges in the differences in personality (my mom can be a back-seat driver, my dad can be impatient) and the difficult circumstances they have faced (my mom’s breast cancer, my dad’s business closing) and at times they questioned God’s plan, like we all do.
But, they still made the decision to remain Faithful to their commitment, because they knew that God would stay Faithful to His.
As I was reflecting on their 40-years and the wonder of God’s love that has allowed them to endure and thrive, I started to focus on the symbolism of that number 40.It is so POWERFUL!
Did you know that the Bible mentions this number 146 times?It is a very powerful and prominent symbol that represents theGod’s intentional periods of testing and waiting as well as the fulfillment of God’s love and promises.
For example:)
Moses went through three, 40-year phases in his life:40-years as the son of Pharaoh in Egypt, then 40-years wandering the desert, then 40-years leading God’s people to Israel.
Moses received the 10-Commandments from God after a 40-day fast up on Mount Sinai.
In the book of Exodus, God’s People of Israel were freed from Egypt and on their way to the Promised Land which was a trek that should have taken just a few weeks by foot, but God tested them and made them wait 40-years before they could enter to their rightful home!
Jesus did a 40-day prayer fast right before His crucifixion where we was tempted by Satan to set Himself free from His destiny of death.Jesus thankfully overpowered Satan’s tempting which gives us our freedom from Sin today.
The Bible itself is actually written by 40 different authors and yet all relay the same truth and the consistent character of God.
The number 40 is a big deal in the eyes of God and, as with everything in the Bible, we should pay attention and apply it to our lives.
For this reason, I choose to engage in 40-day intentions annually.I have for the last 10-years practiced the self-sacrifice period of Lent which is the 40-days leading up to Easter Sunday, celebrating the resurrection of Jesus.
As I have grown in my relationship with God more recently, I have decided 40-days is the perfect amount of time to really focus on health intentions too.I believe that if we want to truly secure new, healthier habits into our lives, a 40-day commitment is usually the least amount of time required before the act because truly habitual and less difficult.
For this reason, at A. Wright Fit I will be offering several health intention plans and products that will focus around this 40-day blessed period.
The first, is my 40-days Radical Acceptance daily devotional series which starts TOMORROW, July 21.This is a simple daily reading with the intention of Radically Accepting some of the harder things in our Spiritual lives.
To be sure you are signed up, click this link HERE.<—
Since this is my first 40-day Spiritual Health product I’m offering,I have decided I wanted to offer it for FREE before I add it to a exercise and nutrition sequence that will be for sale!
But to get your chance of reading it for FREE, be sure you sign up for the email sequence as well as CONFIRM your email to the be officially added. Again, —> LINK IS HERE<—
I am looking forward to what 40-Days of Radical Acceptance looks like for me!I invite you along for the journey too!
“I know everyone spouts statistics about the fear of public speaking and of spiders and all that, but in my 30+ years of experience in working with people from all walks of life, what I have come to learn is the greatest fear that people face today is the fear of losing control.”
These were the words of the famed Rick Warren, Pastor and inspirational author of the super selling, The Purpose Driven Life, as he was delivering a sermon that I regularly listen to on podcast.
For some, it might be the fear of losing their temper and letting their anger take them out of control. For others, it might be losing control over their family or safety and not being able to protect everyone. For yet others, it’s the fear of losing one’s “cool” and allowing their anxiety and nerves to take control.
For me, for the majority of my life, my number one fear has been the fear of losing control over my eating. I genuinely fear not being able to stop eating and letting my cravings rule my life, and of course gaining a ton of weight from it. His words are absolutely true for me.
The thing about our “worst fears” is that they always seem to pull us toward them. Like a magnet, the more we fear doing something, the more likely we are to do it.
So yes, I have struggled with a large appetite for my whole life and yes, especially when it comes to my “trigger foods” which are sugary, rich foods, like desserts, I can spiral out of control pretty fast.
This consequently leads to what I consider one of the most prevalent and worst feelings we can ever feel….SHAME.
I vividly remember the depth of this fear and shame in college as I was on a weekend getaway with my best girlfriends up at one of the girl’s parent’s home in Newport Beach. It was someone’s birthday and they had my number one trigger food out for us to eat…..birthday cake.
So, it started with a few bites with all of us surrounding the cake….
All my friends pulled away after a few bites….but not me.
I would sit down for a little, trying to take a break but all my brain would focus on was more cake. Then as though my legs and hands were acting in complete resistance to what my panicking brain was telling them to do, I would be back up, taking a few more bites.
It was then, that I heard one of my friends whisper, “Why does she keep eating that cake??!”
I. was. mortified. Not only was I already tormenting myself, but on top of it, I now had someone pointing it out!
Having no coping skills at this time, I shut down, stopped talking much. Then after obsessively beating myself up all that night, I got up early before anyone else and went and ran 7 miles on the beach, trying desperately to counteract my shame by “working it off.”
Well, this was over 10 years ago now. So in 10 years, I’ve obviously learned a ton more about the extreme addictive properties of food (sugar has been proven to be more addictive than cocaine!), cravings, and the psychology of eating.
Not to mention, I now have a much greater relationship with God and have SURREND’hered my health and these struggles to Him and have found such a reprieve from my old destructive fears, guilt and shame.
So, I guess I’m healed right? Fear free and shame free? Ha! Yeah. Right.
Just this week offered me another humbling example….
Last week, we were blessed to be in the foodie town of Portland, OR and then onto one of my all-time favorites, London, England and I was on track to having possibly the greatest trip of my life in the fact that I was really focused on living and eating as I always do: Eating nutrient based, getting in great workouts, not stressing about food, getting enough protein, and overall really focused on enjoying the moments and the food I got to experience.
Until 2 little words would cause my greatest fear to rear its ugly little head….”HIGH. TEA.”
High Tea is a wonderful English tradition that includes a 3-tiered plated presentation of deliciousness: little sandwiches, pastries, desserts, and English scones served with clotted cream (a fancy butter) and fresh raspberry preserves. On top of that, after this is all done, they give you a large piece of…..you guesed it…CAKE!
Having had the chance to try it before, I knew I would be indulging in this one meal as my treat meal of the week guilt free, so I planned for it with great success.
The problem was, the vacation was not over that day. The next day, we found ourselves with not much to do in the afternoon and wanted to watch some of the Wimbledon Tennis at the hotel with…another High Tea! Gah, it was so good!
So, I survived two days of my favorite thing ever and was happy to be on a plane home the next day. We had the privilege of getting to fly Virgin Atlantic Airlines for the first time and it was a really cool experience. But just when I was all set to come back to reality of normal eating life….these darling, red-suit wearing and smiling Flight Attendants came at me again with ANOTHER High Tea….on the airplane!! What the whatttt?!
At this point, I was consciously playing the role of the yo-yo dieter, the over eater, the “I’ll get back on track on Monday” girl and I was spiraling down the hole of shame once again. I reverted back to the exact girl I teach my clients to SURREND’her away from and chose True Health.
It is so frustrating to know better and to not be able to do better. As silly as they may sound for anyone that has ever overindulged on a vacation, because I get that all of us have done it, the frustration I felt in myself was deeper because of this great fear that I have—this fear of losing control and overeating. So when I did it again I spiraled down in to the feeling of shame and helplessness.
So at this point, you’re probably wondering, “Well that’s a downer of a story Amanda. You’re telling me that you still struggle with the same fears you’ve always had? In spite of having all this knowledge and in spite of your relationship with God, nothing really changed?”
The answer is, of course not!
In spite of the similar experiences, in spite of the similar emotions and the fears and shame emerging their raging little heads again, I AM definitely different now than I was 10+ years ago.
Because now, even though I can admit that I felt HELPLESS, the difference is I am not HOPELESS.
All the work I’ve been doing to become WISE’her and SURREND’her my health UP did not prevent me from my old destructive ways completely. But, it completely changes my RECOVERY from it.
I took 4 critical steps to change how I processed these feelings and they made all the difference in how I was able to SHIFT OUT OF SHAME.
REST:
My shame wanted me to get up early work off my overeating in a double session at the gym. My shame wanted me to do an all day fast or a juice cleanse to “punish” my body back to healthy eating. Luckily, through prayer, I recognized these negative thoughts as my own and not from God. When I quieted my heart and gave this shame UP, I heard the need for REST to connect better to Him and steer away from doing things “my way.”
Every week we really do need to take a Sabbath day—a full day of rest. This is not a request from God; this is one of His commandments! It is imperative that we take a day to worship Him and rest our minds and bodies. After traveling and working all day on Sunday, my typical Sabbath day, I knew I needed a real Sabbath. So I was obedient to this calling.
I spent the day venting my frustration to Him, crying some, praying a lot, reading a lot, and then napping, walking and recovering.
{I realize working for myself and not having children full-time gives me this luxury, but if you’re caught in the same position where you are deep in some negative emotions like shame, I do suggest these times to be a perfect “personal day” off of work or at least taking 1-2 hours of time to yourself away and with God. Do you best in finding a way to listen to what God desires for you.}
REPENT:
One of the things I’ve come to learn is that God uses PAIN in our life not as punishment but as a pointer to shift our thinking to what is True. The pain I face when I do over eat is tied to the sin that it is. I’m not trying to sugar coat this for myself. But constantly over indulging and treating food as these intense rewards that I lose myself for is gluttony and it is food idolatry.
“When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies for that food is deceptive.” (Proverbs 23: 1-2 NLT).
In spite of my sin, I realized God was not shaming me for my wrong, I was shaming myself–an incredibly important distinction. It was not God that caused my shame; that is not how God works. God is ever loving and ever giving of Light of Peace and Love. God will give us Conviction of our wrongs, but we make it into shame and distance ourselves from God as we do this. God hates the sin but never hates the sinner.
Confessing this to God and praying for forgiveness and believing, in Faith, that God will forgive these sins was the key to me being able to turn back to God and move forward, walking in His Light again.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV)
REACH OUT:
If it appears that I was naturally able to rise above the pit of shame I found myself in, I can assure you I was not. Shame is a heavy cloud that envelops one’s soul without recoil. So many of us have lived in shame for our whole lives, sometimes caused by others without our conscious consent. Giving this emotion a name, giving it awareness, was key in overcoming the negative emotion. But then I needed someone to help me too.
So, I reached out to my prayer partner and one of my best friends, Jennifer, for our weekly call. It is invaluable to have just one person we can be vulnerable with, that we can talk about our deepest fears and needs and they will not just console us, but to remind us of God’s love and pray for us.
Jennifer at first kinda laughed and knew the “guilt” of overeating that we all can have, especially on vacation. But as I explained the depth of the shame that can wave over me from these acts, she listened sincerely.
Then she said, “I understand completely. But remember, you have prayed for forgiveness and God has granted it for you and He has wiped it clean. You must now walk in that forgiveness and move forward.”
Simple, yet, so profound. So often we will feel the trap of our shame that just keeps us dwelling on the guilt for so long. Yet, God promises to forget our sins, “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.” (Heb 8:12). I needed that reminder from Jennifer to help me move forward in that moment.
Find that person, your person, that you can trust that when you reach out, they will help you stand and walk out of your shame. If you are having a hard time finding that person to trust for you, try to be that person for someone else first. Helping others can be an incredible way to help yourself. Over time, you teach them how to reciprocate.
REFOCUS:
As I needed to walk out of my shame, I needed to refocus my heart and my attention on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil 4: 8-9 NIV).
So, I took the time to refocus away from the shame onto my fruits of the Spirit that God promises us. I listed out all 9 fruits and wrote out all the ways that I feel and show those emotions. This reminded me that I was Good and I was a child of God.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22 NIV)
From this refocused position, I became the real me again.
Shame is not who we are, no matter how long we may have suffered in its existence. Some things we have done in our life might cause a sense of shame that runs much deeper than something as trivial, even though it is serious for me, as overeating. But these four steps can be your way to SHIFT out of any SHAME. There is not allotted time limit it might take you, but work through each step fervently, giving yourself as much grace and love as possible, and sure even, you’ll SHIFT out of your SHAME too!
It’s a little ironic, but I will celebrating this 4th of July across the pond on the “losing” side of the Revolutionary War keeping my eye out for any Red Coats in action. They clearly aren’t celebrating this war the same way we do. Would it be too much to sport a American Flag t-shirt that read #winner?? 🙂
But as we celebrate our Nations FREEDOM with a bunch more F’s (Family, Friends, Food and Fireworks!), I can’t help but wonder how many of us are truly living the “Big F” of FREE these days?
Now, I know the good ol’ USA likes to define “Freedom” by the terms of our State and Federal Rights.As we saw just last week, we can rely on these “laws” to protect and uphold us and can become unreasonably attached to idea that the great laws of our nation can actually force people to be “saved”.
But, when I speak about True Freedom, I am referencing our original freedom gifted to us by God upon the creation of mankind in the Garden of Eden.It is there that we were given the freedom of choice, and it is there that the first humans screwed it up—and we have been screwing it up ever since!
It is the freedom of CHOICE within our SOUL that matters the most, not the rules that we might follow in our worldly life.
So no “Federal law,”no “Religious law,” heck no “Dietary law” that people want to place on us will actually get to the heart of the matter and make us good.Our goodness is a spiritual choice—-a FREEDOM.
If we choose to accept God in our heart, we receive His great empowerment to make better choices that will lead to greater blessings.But we are never going to be perfect and we are never going to be sinless, no matter what laws we try earnestly to follow.
When it comes to our HEALTH, what I see in myself as well as when I work with the women through my years of training and now with my SURREND’hered Health Transformation health coaching is that many of us think we are FREE but actually are still prisoners of our own making.
I know for sure for me, public enemy #1 when it comes to my True Health (meaning healthy Body, MindAND Soul) is——> ME. In all likelihood, public enemy #1 when it comes to your health is YOU.
So when I’m talking about becoming FREE I mean setting myself FREE from ME.
We become prisoners of self-doubt, body shame and unworthiness.Prisoners of emotional eating, lethargy, and lazyness.Prisoners of food/substance addictions, food obsession, and self-comparison.Prisoners of FEAR.
While some of us feel the weight and exhaustion of being imprisoned by these negative thoughts and emotions and continue to unsuccessfully willpower our way out,there are also some of us don’t actually realize we are in prison!
That’s when it’s really scary.When the negative emotions of worry, fear and obsession have become such close companions that we have no desire to set ourselves FREE because it feels like we would be losing a part of ourself.
SO HOW DO SET OURSELVES FREE?
Much to our own dismay, our freedom from ourselves doesn’t come from “trying harder” or the willpower we’ve been trying to muster our entire life. We can’t actually “earn” our freedom to live a life in True Health. We can’t count calories, macronutrients or “diet” our way to True Health.It. Won’t. Last.
The only path to True Health is by first creating a strong, healthy Spirit. We cannot get strong in Spirit until we invite He who IS power, God, to live in our Spirit. We cannot “earn” God into our heart by following Religious rules either. We simply must SURREND’her our life, including our health, to Him and He will hand us the key to the Freedom from our self imprisonment.
It sounds incredibly simple as I type it out, and in a lot of ways it is much simpler than we make it out to be, but the truth is, even a life-long-church-goer has not *gotten* it for 99% of my life.
It has been only recently that I started putting into practice the art of SURREND’her and living for True Health. While I’m still a work in progress and will never be perfect (reminder to self!), I am grateful that as I reflect on all that I have learned, I can share with you….
4 KEYS TO LIVING F.R.E.E. IN YOUR HEALTH:
F:Faith
The ability to SURREND’her your health to God takes Great Faith.I have been so used to relying on “experts” and “research” and every diet book known to man for what I “should” be doing.When I finally started reaching out to God for my answers,I realized I had to unlearn a lot of things.This was not easy.
It took a great amount of Faith to walk away from practices I was so attached to and even today, still find great temptation to resort back to, even though I have completely proven to myself that these methods of “health” don’t work.
But because I have Faith I have this ability to Refocus my attention from my Body to my Greater Purpose and to the will that God has for my life.In Faith, I am capable of Freeing myself from the burdens of negative assumptions and can walk in the Light of Life with God.
Photo Cred: @Martinadashi instragram
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
R:Radical Acceptance
This one I’m still working through but so much of my freedom to live in True Health has come from practicing radically accepting my body and who I am.
This means accepting my body shape.It means accepting the fact that I’m naturally endomorphic and will gain weight very fast.It means accepting the fact that certain foods and too much alcohol just won’t work for my body and I can’t consume them very often.Accepting the responsiblity to take care of my body but not seeing my body as the “end goal” but as the means to BE the person I am called to BE. I’ve had to accept my body as the vessel it is to be used to serve and glorify God.
It’s about being CONTENT which is not permission to be lazy, overindulge in the moment, or to stop trying.Being content is an active, healthy state.It is simply embracing and accepting myself in every stage knowing that every moment in this life presents an opportunity for growth and an opportunity to connect with God and serve my Greater Purpose.
PhotoCred: @andrewjgolesch Instagram
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.I can do all things thought Him who strengthens me.”Phil 4:11-13
E:Energy
I do not have always a choice in the energy that surrounds me all the time, but I do have a choice in the energy that I put out into the world.Exercising my True HealthFreedom means that I make a choice in the energy that I want to share with the world. As the Spirit Junkie author, Gabrielle Bernstein, wrote on a recent article, “Vibes Speak Louder Than Words.”
We can all attest that there is a distinct energy difference between love and loathe; between encouragement and envy; between elegance and arrogance.
The energy I bring to a room emanates from my heart outward.I either share with the world the LIGHT energy that comes from being Free or I share the DARK energy that comes from my cell of self imprisonment.
I have found that I create this positive energy by eating the best foods for my body, eating enough food for my body, NOT being overly restrictive, exercising/moving my body every week and getting the necessary rest and sleep for my body. These choices in my health give me the Freedom to showcase the energy of self love for my body and my True Health.
E:Every. Single. Day.
The last key that I have to use to remain Free in my True Health is to remember that every day counts. I have this choice every day to be a woman of True Health, relying on God’s power OR a woman of True HELLth (see what I did there? ;-)) relying on the power of self.
So, by living in FREEDOM, and choosing to live in the Light of God, I dare to be great.I dare totransform my life and live out my True Health by becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her and live SURREND’hered to God.
It is not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
So, this weekend as you celebrate the FREEDOM of living in the land of opportunity, may you also take a moment to pause and give thanks for the FREEDOM of choice that are given as humans.May you not take this FREEDOM for granted and choose instead to make the choices in your life and in your health to live in the LIGHT of God–living a life of FREEDOM in your True Health
PhotoCred: @scottborrero Instagram
“Surrender your heart to God, turn to Him in prayer and give up your sins—even those you do in secret.Then you won’t be ashamed; you will be confident and fearless.”Job 11:13-18 CEV
“Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
Maybe it’s the fact that I just got done doing a solid 40-minute car dance session to an array of hip-hop songs, full of all the cuss words, that would make any conservative Christian shake their head….
Or, it’s the fact that news just hit about the Federal decision regarding the Equality Marriage Act and I feel a sense of happiness, not despair, as I think about my gay friends and family members…
Or, it’s the numerous other ways that I know I fail to “play the role” of the Christian person I know society might want me to play.
I struggle with feeling like I have “closet” behaviors and feelings that I’m “not supposed” to talk about or show because I’m a Christian and I am fearful of judgement. This feeling has popped-up several times in the last couple of weeks, so much so, that I know I need to address it.
But I want to be clear, I am not just making this statement because of the political changes that our nation is facing.I have to be honest and let you know that I am grossly unaware of the politics taking place and don’t have not solid intellectual basis to start making sound judgements or stating opinions, so I’m not going to here.
This is not because I don’t care about politics or policy, but it’s because there is too much darkness involved in politics and the media that covers it.As I started writing and investing in Spiritual growth, I made the conscious decision to cut out all things that do not help me shine my light brighter.News, politics, and all nonsense media and TV cast too large of a dark shadow in my Mind and Spirit and I better serve focusing on what is RIGHT with the world, not always what is wrong.It makes me naive in the best possible way and I’m ok with that.
I do know that a lot of these changes have fellow Christians in an uproar and seems to be causing another great divide among our nation… not that it’s anything new.But I want to address this reaction not only for a “gut check” for my fellow Christians, but also for my NON Christian friends who might think that all Christians think alike.
The rampant sin that I see causing so much anguish and division not only around the world, but in MY VERY heart is what’s called “CA” or “Christian Arrogance.”This is also known as the sin of being Self-Righteous.
I want to own up to the fact that just because I am a Christian, it does not mean that I don’t have sin. In fact, I think it means that I am more susceptible to the “sneaky sins” that wreck havoc on my soul but I choose not to see because it’s not “as bad” as some of the other “bigger sins” out there in the world.
But we must remember—-A sin is a sin is a sin.
So being self righteous is just as sinful as committing murder in the eyes of God.We must never forget that and never stop searching our hearts for our own destruction.
So here I go, me first.
MY SELF-RIGHTEOUS TENDENCIES:
When I was deciding to start my “Finding A. Wright Fit” blog this year, I was really conflicted and very fearful about being completely open and honest about my Christian Faith as I was trying to share my light and teach on Health for your Mind, Body and Soul.
I hated the idea of being secluded to a “Christian Box” that would invite in opportunity of judgement from both Non-Christians and Christians alike.
I was fearful that any Non-Christian would resent my use of the “J” word (i.e. Jesus) because clearly not all people in this world know and believe that Jesus is the Messiah.It would automatically ostracize anyone that did not share my belief and I did not want to eliminate the opportunity to impact those people’s lives that I truly want to reach the most.
BUT, even more so, I was fearful that all of potential CHRISTIAN readers would equally judge me based on my writing and would be checking to see that what I wrote and taught was “in line” with the Bible. I didn’t really feel “qualified” to Spiritually teach because I don’t know the Bible in-and-out despite having grown up going to church my whole life.My lack of theological knowledge made me insecure.
As you might know, I chose to boldly stepped over both of these fears and decided I must write in my authentic voice which will showcase my true faith that includes the fact that Jesus is my Lord and Savior and I am nothing without Him. There is really no other way to talk about my Spirit of my health if He’s not included in it. Period.
Nevertheless, it was the FEARS I had that left me puzzled because I have actually never been persecuted for my Faith– so why should I have such fears or persecution?
It is partly that I have seen it in our culture, sure. I have witnessed Christians slandering one another when stating opinions about secular issues.I do see it on TV and see it on social media a lot.
But, I have to be honest and tell you I don’t think those reasons was the real cause to why I was so fearful of this potential judgement from Christians and non-Christians alike.
The reason why I think I was fearful about receiving judgement is because I AM JUDGMENTAL.
I fear things will be done to me that I secretly do to others….
When the Bible says, “Do not judge or you too will be judged” (Matt 7:1) this does not just refer to the fact that we will all be judged one day by God in Heaven, but I also think it means that when we put out judgement into the world, the world give us judgement right back.
Some call this the mirror effect or even karma,but I liken it best to the Newtons 3rd Law of Motion— for every action, there is an EQUAL and opposite reaction.
Not only can we see that this response occurs from our actions, but I also see that it creates the FEAR that it will happen, causing even more mental anguish.
For example, we judge others bodies as we walk down the street, so we FEAR others judge our body as we walk down the street.This in turn causes us to act in insecure ways and worry too much about what we wear and how we look, becoming overly self-involved.
We judge others for their “lack of faith” so we FEAR they will judge us too for our own faith. This in turn, causes actions of overcompensation and defensive behavior.We cast out judgements and point fingers.
POLARIZED INNER LIFE:
The truth is….
…as a Trainer and Nutritionist the more I read and learn, the more I am humbled to realize how much I don’t know.Even though I have a SOLID base for what has worked (and more often not worked) , I really have no authority to tell someone else what will or won’t work for them.I can really only coach them and help guide them to discover more for themselves.
Just the same, as a Christian and Spiritually minded person, the more I read the Bible, the more I see how very sinful I am!The more I see the areas that I must fix and address.So often the Spiritual advice I give my clients is the very advice I need to hear myself.I have no real “authority” of how to cultivate a relationship with God in your life, I can only do my best to guide you to God yourself.
But while I can write all of these things to you now and know they are true from my heart, I would be a liar if I didn’t also tell you that the opposite thoughts can just as easily control my mind and how I act.
There is this “self righteous” tendency, my EGO, that wants to also tell you, “Well, I’ve done all this research and read the Bible verse that says “_____,” and this clearly makes me more of an expert than you are, so listen to my opinion and follow my instructions!”
I do it all the time.
I have secret Christian Arrogance when I hope my husband doesn’t hang out with his atheist friends who I think might be “bad influences”; when I secretly judge the more “strict” religious people I know for being “too extreme”; when I use a Bible verse to help make a point of what someone “should not do” but coolly ignore the Bible for all the verses that point out all my sins; every time I gossip about someone; every time I am overbearing and demanding; every time I shift the blame of my problems to someone else…etc etc etc!!
THIS is what we will often see from my fellow Christians in a response to some of the social changes that take place as they try to use the Bible as ammunition.
If we want to use the Bible (which I DO wholeheartedly believe IS the Truth and the Word of God that all who follow Him must honor and follow as uncomfortable as it may be)then we must use ALL of the Bible.Not just those verses that help us to judge others for their “sinful” actions.
Paul writes to the Christian Romans, “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgement do the same things.”(Romans 2:1)
That’s the thing that Christians need to start owning:
We need to stop expecting Non-Christians to act like Christians—they DO have an excuseto be sinful because they are not saved and really don’t know any better.
We need to own the fact that because we are saved, then we DON’T have an excuse for sin, because we actually know better.
Yes, we do want non-believers to become believers that is our great purpose and calling in this world. But, I don’t think pointing out ALL the things “they” are doing wrong is going to do it.When was the last time that worked for you?
THE ANSWER TO OUR OWN CHRISTIAN ARROGANCE:
We just work from WITHIN.
We must “take up our cross” and bear the weight of the sneaky sins that we often overlook as we point out the “greater sins” we see in the world around us.
If we want to see change in the world, we really must BE the change ourselves but not just “any change”…we must change for GOOD.
We must show humility, gentleness and above all LOVE.
This is what it means to be Christ-like….not just “Christian” from the religious perspective.
Our hope and salvation must rest wholly on HIM.Not on our laws, not on our Pastors, not on our Politicians, not on each other…. but on GOD alone and the salvation He gave us when He sent His son to show us the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6) and die for our sins so we might be saved.
If we are to follow Christ, we must take up our cross and bear it before others to show what it means to be a true disciple.It’s hard and it sucks, but this is what Faith is and living in Faith is always worth it. This is how we will live a blessed life full of fruit.
In closing, here is my prayer for this article and what it might stir inside you:
I hope it simply makes you think less about “what’s wrong with the world” and more on “what’s wrong with me.”If you focus on our own sin first, the world will be better off.You can bet that this will take you anywhere from 23.5 to about 24 hours a day.So go ahead an get going on that….you’re a little behind. 🙂
If you happen to be one of my friends that does not share in my beliefs and have expressed resentment toward the judgement or pushiness you have received from perhaps me or other religious people in your past, please accept this article as an apology on behalf of all of us that have screwed it up and made you feel this way.We were being self-righteous jerks.Not one of us can know what you are going through, how you were born, the circumstances you have faced and therefore “what you should do with your life.” But I love you and care about you and I want you to feel nothing but love, acceptance and joy for the rest of your life.Should you ever want to explore what a relationship with God that I have Faith will give you that kind of life, I will always be here to encourage you and show you how you can seek that for yourself.But if you don’t, I love you just the same, no matter what life you live.
If I may, I want to end in the same way that the well-known philosopher and theologian, G. K. Chesterton chose to answer the question posed by a London Times editorial years ago when asked,
A strong body cannot create a strong mind. But a strong mind can create a strong body.
Sure, she looks healthy and confident but the truth is, her mindset is weak rendering her whole health as weakened. What we see as physically “Healthy” can often times be the furthest thing from it.
“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…..”
I was elated and overjoyed that I had found my love again, my now husband, that came back into my life the day I had competed in my first Bikini Competition (pictured above).
But while I was happiest I had ever been in so many ways (getting engaged, moving to California, and traveling around the world), I was also the most miserable in so many ways because my mindset was suffering it’s weakest state ever.
Often times, we as women will pursue a healthy body so relentlessly that it causes a detriment to our psychology and how we see our body and life. A weakened mind begets a weakened life.
Paralyzed though I felt by the shame that would come from gaining nearly all the weight back, I was not indeed paralyzed. God would give this experience purpose, even though I know competing was not part of my Greater Purpose. But it was up to me to CHOOSE a stronger and healthier mind. That is what I’ve done.
For anyone that feels as though you have suffered a health set-back or may be deeply discouraged in your health efforts, I encourage you to continue on your journey and choose to focus on becoming WISE’her to gain a stronger mindset for your health.
Realize like I did, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” -Winston Churchill
One of the pillars of truth of A. Wright Fit is this principle that I know to my core:
We simply cannot change our body’s health in any lasting or significant way until we have changed our MINDSET and how we think about our body and what we know to be true for us. This is what I term becoming WISE’her and comes from shifting your thinking to a stronger mindset that will allow true change to happen.
So, I have taken the last 2-years of my life pursing a stronger MINDSET about my body and have made tremendous progress. My pursuit will never cease as there is always more to learn and more ways I will grow into the woman God made me to be, but I have observed 6 Radical Mindset Shifts that help me to know I’m moving in the (W)right direction! See how many you relate to!
6 Signs You Have a Healthy Mindset:
You Believe the Skinny Mirror:
Whether in our gyms, a hotel, an elevator, or windows passing by, there are countless mirrors for us to observe our reflections.Even in the same room, under similar lighting, and wearing the same outfit, two-mirrors can reflect two different body’s when you look in them.
You know you have achieved a healthy mindset when you believe the skinny mirror and let the “wider, puffier, more distorted” mirror kick rocks.
When given the option, you will choose to believe the happier reflection in life rather than assume the more negative reflection is the “true” reflection.The truth is, neither one can be proven to be the real thing, so why not choose to believe the one that lifts you up instead of brings you down?
2. You stopped following, listening to or watching any person or show that is unworthy of your mind.
This is the “G.I.G.O.” principle.Garbage In = Garbage Out.
What you see and what you listen to will have a significant impact on what you think and therefore how you behave.
When you expose your eyes and ears to people that fill your mind with gossip, slander, envy, negativity, or pride, you are running the risk of letting that person change how you view the world and your purpose on this planet.
You know you have achieved a healthy mindset when you relentlessly avoid and reject anyone that feeds negativity into your life.When given the choice, you unfollow, block, turn off the TV, stop reading, or simply walk away from those things that do not serve you and your purpose.
For those closer relationships that you do not necessarily have a choice of exposure, you still have found a way to “internally mute” what they are saying and hear their words through a wise filter, choosing to not truly “hear” them.
3. You Refuse to Compare Your Life To Others:
When you stop to compare you life to another’s life you can only have one of two results:
You will feel less valuable and discouraged by all that you don’t have… OR
You will feel prideful about all that you do have and how much “better” you are.
Do not fool yourself into believing that by comparing your blessings to another’s misfortune is how you become grateful or more optimistic. You feel gratitude by making the choice to internally change your viewpoint and to think grateful thoughts. It is that simple.
All things are a choice and a product of what you allow your thoughts to focus on.If you allow your thoughts to continue to compare yourself to others, your resulting emotions will either be negative or prideful– a lose:lose choice for your soul.
But when you choose to refocus your attention on who you really are—>your Greater Purpose—> and ALL that God has done and will continue to do you for, you have effectively guarded your mind from the destructive paths of self comparison.
4. You Seek Quiet Times Daily:
You realize that your mind needs a break to fully recover and serve your life to its fullest potential, so you create the time and space to be able to do that.
Taking 20+ minutes daily seeking God’s face, praying, meditating, or just breathing and being is an incredibly powerful gift. This time can give you more than enough power and energy to function efficiently in ALL other things in life.
You know you have achieved a healthy mindset when you keep this time as a top priority daily so you might better function and perform the other tasks and roles that matter in your day.
You know that if there is ever a day that you are “too busy” to spend 20 minutes with God,then you are too busy.You will make changes in your schedule and learn to say “No” to other less important things so that you can say “YES” to this vital time alone with God.
5. You Are Grateful For the Struggle:
We all know that pain is a part of life and those who have a healthy mindset are able to see beyond the pain to the lesson they expect to learn.
Even before you are through the suffering, you begin to have hope and gratitude for what you know will come.You see the pain with gratitude because you know that the pain will develop your character the most.
There is no way of avoiding difficulty in life. A healthy mindset focuses on pushing through the pain and seeks out the reward in wisdom.
6. You have stopped “Shoulding” All Over Yourself:
If you pay attention to the words that you think in your inner dialogue, you know you have a healthy mind when you hear less “should’s” and more “can’s”,“will’s”, “do’s” and “am’s.”
The word “should” reflects a “lacking” mindset or self-pressure and being spiritually ungrounded.
“I should have done that workout last night.”
or
“I shouldn’t have eaten that.”
or
“Oh, she’s doing a bikini competition, I should train for one too.”
When you find an abundance mindset you start to see your life for all that “can” do instead of what you “should” do, and all that you “are” instead of what think you “should” be.
This comes from grounding yourself in God and becoming vigilant in self discovery so you know who are and all that you are capable.
Diving into your beliefs allows you to rely more heavily on God’s power and will focus your attention back on Him dwelling within your soul.This empowerment turns into becoming self aware and self loving.Relying on God within you will help you “should” less and “be” more.
If you have found that you are lacking in a healthy mindset when it comes to your pursuit for True Health, a reminder that this is one of the main components I pursue with all clients in 1:1 health coaching, which really sets me apart from your typical Health and Nutrition coach!
In my 12-weeks of SURREND’hered Health Transformation program, there is an entire 2-week module entitled “Mind Matters” that is devoted to challenging your mindset in the areas that often the hardest:Patience, Comparing Ourselves to Others, Worry/Fear, Lack/Compulsiveness, Negativity.You will get this along with education of all things health and fat loss related.A reminder of all that is offered is found in the link HERE.
PLEASE NOTE:Due to new products and programs rolling out in the fall, I am only accepting 1:1 health coaching clients through August 15, 2015 and I will only take on a maximum of (10) clients at a time.If you are interested in one of those few remaining slots, be sure you reach out to me before August to apply!
So I just got off the phone with one of my new clients and I am so inspired that I am actually going to botch the entire blog that I’ve been working on for the last couple of weeks to share this story with you today!
This client and I have only been working together for a couple of weeks so far, but she hired me describing feeling being at “an all-time low point with her health”.She knew she needed to drastically change her health and knew she needed someone to help coach, guide and support her in some significant changes she was ready to make.I am so lucky she chose me.
I told her, as I tell all my clients, that I learn just as much from them as they do from me.It is an absolute honor and priveledge that I get to be a support system for any woman willing to face her fears, overcome obstacles and set herself back on the path that God has created for her.To witness such transformations with her, changes my soul and teaches me much more than I could ever learn on my own and through my own experiences.
So, as I do with all clients, the first step that we take together is to decide and write down what her goals are going to be.I whole-heartedly believe that choosing the (W)right goal for yourself is the most important step in becoming STRONG’her, WISE’her, andSURREND’her your life UP and should not be a rushed decision.
If you are truly ready for some real change in your life and in your health, you must get the SURREND’her part down first.That means, choosing the kind of health goal that GOD wants you to choose, not that you and your fears or lack-based tendencies are pressuring you to choose.
(By the way, I have combined all 7-steps into an ebook that can be downloaded when you subscribe to my emails newsletters HERE.)
As we discussed her goals over the course of the first couple of phone calls, the tone of her voice sounded unsure, embarrassed, discouraged, and soft.
The tone of her voice when we just spoke today?Completely different.It sounded light, free, upbeat, and confident.
So what had changed?
Well, she shifted her thinking and shifted her search for her goals!Her story was so awe inspriing, I wanted to share with you here today.
When she first contacted me she had told me her measurable goal was to lose X number of pounds.This is extremely common and not at all a “bad” goal.In fact, I highly encourage measurable goals to help motivate, track and stay accountable.
However, there are a million ways to measure your goals, so I encouraged her to take some time and truly reflect on whether or not this was the right goal for her and was indeed what God wanted her to focus on.
After this conversation, she told me she kept seeing messages about spiritual fasting popping-up in her world and she decided to do an incredibly brave thing——she listened.
She decided the signs were pointing her to do a spiritual fast and see if she could find some clarity about this health process.So for a almost a full week, she only ate vegetables and fruit and spent the time she would have spent eating, praying and reflecting more with God.
(NOTE: This is a highly effective practice for anyone spiritually mature enough to make it about connecting with God to answer a prayer and not about doing a “cleanse” to help you lose weight.Your heart posture matters!If you would like more information about this, I’m happy to help answer or guide you, just email me!)
As God promises us in the Bible, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” (Matt. 7:7)When she sought clarity from God, He gave it to her.
During this fasting period, she came across a book that just seemed to pop-off the shelf to her.It was called “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Vosakamp. The story resonated with her on such a deep level she devoured it in about 2 hours flat and had her new measureable health goal from it.
Today, with her voice full of courage, hope and a new depth of Faith, she announced her new goal to me: She is going to seek and find her 1,000 gifts.
Every day, she is going to seek out the gifts of her life and write them all down.She will set her her intention on finding all that is good in her life and will spend her time looking for that, not just seeing her life through the lens of self pressure or busyness.
Her choice of a goal actually went hand-in-hand with a morning devotion that I had happened to read just this morning from the book, Nearer to Jesus by Sarah Young, which read:
“As you go through this day, look for tiny treasures strategically placed along the way. I lovingly go before you and plant little pleasures to brighten your day.Look carefully for them and pluck them one by one.When you reach the end of the day, you will have gathered a lovely bouquet.Offer it up to Me with a grateful heart.Receive My Peace as you lie down to sleep, with thankful thoughts plying a lullaby in your mind.”
It is of no coincidence that she and I had received similar messages of seeking out the small treasures from God on the very same day.These are the “God winks” that we can all experience every day that we have our eyes opened and willing to receive it.
The best part of the phone call was the next part she told me….
She said that naturally Monday morning she decided to weigh herself to see if her weight had dropped after doing a week of fasting. It did…..but only 2 pounds.
She was fighting the natural instinct to be disappointed that after so much “restriction” she did not see more physical weight loss.
I reminded her however, that she had actually lost a significant amount of weight, it just wasn’t the kind of weight that we know how to measure.
You see, this past weekend after the fasting, she described how she had been able to go to her favorite Mexican food restaurant and felt satisfied after eating only 20% of her favorite meal.
She went to a baby shower and was able to resist the unhealthy food choices and cupcakes, and made the best decision she could with the options she had (chicken salad and some fresh vegetables and fruit) and felt good and satisfied by it.
The weight she lost was not physical weight.It was the lifting of the MENTAL burden that she had been bearing for the past several years regarding food, cravings and overall energy.I could tell she had lost such weight simply by the lightness of her voice.
Weight gain is very rarely about actual “weight.”90%+ of the time, our weight is determined more by our thoughts than anything else.
Having a dieters mentality is a heavy burden.
Being unhappy and discouraged by your body all the time wears you down.
Always feeling stressed to eat the right foods and to do the right exercises is a heavy load to bear.
All of these things are much “heavier” than the actual weight we may need to lose.
Being able to lighten the burden of of our thoughts is MUCH MORE REWARDING than losing a few more pounds in one week.
She was able to fight the temptation of disappointment and stay on this path of greater understanding, joy and peace because she was able to instead focus her life on the gifts of her day.
From here, she will be able to now move forward toward an healthier body with a much lighter mental burden that will allow her to find True Health and success that no “diet” would have.
This is SURREND’hering.
I encourage anyone reading this to take the following steps to transform your MIND as well by asking yourself these 3 things.
Are my current health goals really what God wants me to focus on or am I creating goals to fill some sort of void I have in my heart that only He can fill?
If you find that you are not focusing on the right goals, take the time to pray and change them.God will empower you and guide you if you ask Him.
What are the small gifts that I encountered today that I can pick like a fresh flower bouquet?
Even if you’ve had a really crappy day so far, is there 1 or 2 things you can find that were unexpected gifts? Perhaps you can start a journal too to see if you can get to 1,000 gifts?!
What kind of mental weight am I bearing on my body that I need to lose before I can lose any physical weight?Am I putting unrealistic expectations on myself?Am I living only for others approval?Am I taking on others burdens as my own?
Pray that God will show you how to unburden and share the “yoke” with Him so that you do not bear the weight all alone.
Final reminders that if any of you would like to also work with me for 1:1 Health Coaching, I have just a couple more spots available in my current roster.You can check out the new 6-Part Module forum I’m offering in my 12-Week SURREND’her Health Transformation in this link HERE.Feel free to reach out and contact me via email at amanda@amandawrightfit.com and I can answer any more questions you have!
all treasures from God on the very same day.