Tag: Women

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Fitness & Training Food & Nutrition Goal Development

5 Proven Tips to Not Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals

So here we are, Wednesday. Hummmmmmmp Day!

Hump Day

By now, if you’re like most of us trying to be “healthier” you’re on day #3 this week of being “back on track” because inevitably over the weekend, you botched your healthy eating intention by over-eating or over-drinking and vowed to start to be “good” again on Monday. #AmIRight?

This is a dieters mentality and it took me years to stop this “Working for the Weekend” mindset. This is part of what I set out to teach clients and any reader is the power of your MINDSET in helping you accomplish any goal since what you THINK determines what you DO.

If you goal is FAT LOSS for example, taking the whole weekend “off” of healthy eating and fitness is not an effective strategy.

If your goal is MAINTENANCE, this strategy is perfect because you do need several days per week devoted to maintaining.

Since I’m in the business of helping people with their health goals, which 100% of them include FAT LOSS, I wanted to shed some light on this subject of changing up our MINDSET about weekends so we can have more success in our Fat Loss efforts!

I coach many a frustrated client who will work so hard all week, eating well, working out hard for 5 SOLID DAYS and then completely reverse all their progress in just 1 or 2 days of going overboard. That was me for years and years too.

Weekends are HARD. We want to feel rewarded and relaxed which naturally invoke a desire for delicious food and libations, our go to “reward” systems! We also don’t have our go-to routines and some of our weekends get so jam-packed with kids and sports and our social obligations that we don’t have the plans in place that help us to keep on track. These are all valid and understandable!

So what do we do about this natural tendency we have with the weekends when we want to lose fat?

Do you have to be PERFECT on the weekend?! NO WAY.

Being overly restrictive will NOT work and is really NO FUN. Life is about balance and JOY. It’s about working SMARTER not HARDER.

But, there are ways you can simply STRATEGIZE your weekends better that will make a difference! If you’re finding it hard to strategize then you can always use a resource like play sport which helps you organize going to a sports event near you. It’s a great way to meet like-minded people that can help get you through your weekend slump! Plus, you don’t need to limit yourself to weekend use of it as you could use it to improve your weekday fitness too.

Similarly, a lot of people find that team sports encourage them to keep up their fitness. However, if you aren’t into sports like football or rugby, don’t worry. There are other sports, like airsoft, that don’t feel like exercise but still count. With a team sport, it’s vital to perform to the best of your ability because you’re all working together to win. To get into something like airsoft, it might be worth looking at these Airsoft Guns the largest range in the UK. That way, you can improve your fitness whilst making new friends.

At A.Wight Fit, one thing I specialize in is Goal Development and real life strategies to help clients get to their desired health goals and fat loss. I have found these steps as the top strategies I use and my clients have used to see more success!

Top 5 Proven Tips to NOT Let the Weekend Wreck Your Health Goals:

#1 Proven Tip: Don’t overly deprive yourself all week:

hungry

If you are eating far too few calories and doing far too much exercise, you are naturally be inclined to binge eat on the weekend because you’ve been starving yourself! It’s the law of “Metabolic Compensation“. Our bodies are hormonally going to fight to keep you at the weight you’ve been adjusted to. After just 5 days of eating too few of calories and/or exercising too much, you’re hunger hormones are going to go crazy. Ideally, your food and exercise should stay consistent straight through the week.

How do adjust: If you think you might be pushing too hard or restricting yourself too much, change JUST ONE of those aspects at first-not both. Don’t try to overhaul your regime all at once, that will likely result in weight gain that will make you freak out and overcompensate to eating even less and exercising even more. The goal here is to take just 1 aspect of your health and make a 10% adjustment in a healthier direction. So if you are doing 5 hours of cardio a week, you are going to need to cut back on aerobic cardio to actually help your metabolism and fat loss. This means you just cut back in 10% of your time this week. The next week you’ll decide if you’ll cut back again (10%) or hold there for 1 more week, etc.

#2 Proven Tip: Treat Your Weekend As It’s Own Goal & Write it down:Written Goals

Your life likely looks quite different during the weekend as it does during the week so make different habit goals to accommodate the different routines. Focus on just your weekend for a while. Work with the systems you currently have to make those goal changes. With all goals, you have a higher chance of success when you write down exactly what your goals are and the habits you want to enforce to get you there.

How to adjust: Choose 1-2 new habits you want to enforce just for the weekend to improve in your health and stick to those for a month before adding on new goals. Focus on progress, not perfection.

For example, if you normally go to Sunday brunch and order pancakes and bacon, your first habit to adjust is just what you plan on ordering at the Sunday brunch. Make small adjustments every week–what I call “Mini Goals.”

Weekend #1 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and Eat 1 Pancake and 3 egg whites + 1 slice of bacon.

Weekend #2 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch Eat 1/2 Pancake, 3 egg whites + 1slice of bacon.

Weekend #3 Mini Goal: Go to Sunday Brunch and eat 1-2 bites of pancake, vegetable omelette and 2 slices of bacon.

Progress is Progress!

#3 Proven Tip: Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day- Weekend and Holidays Included:

Alarm Clock

This combines two of the most effective fat loss strategies- being consistent + getting enough sleep. Waking up at the same time every day, no matter what day of the week it is, will eventually allow your body to adjust to the Circadian Rhythms necessary to allow for effective sleeping habits and getting enough sleep will also extend the amount of time you are in the prime fat loss zone (fasting + increased growth hormone etc). If you have been finding it difficult to sleep, you may need to look into a new mattress. Researching key phrases such as ‘mattress reviews australia‘ can help you pick the best one for your sleeping patterns. Alternatively, recent research on the medical use of marijuana has highlighted the positive effect it can have on sleep deprivation and insomnia. These tiny bongs offer a discrete way of finding natural sleep relief. If this isn’t your kind of thing, we have some advice on adjusting below.

How to adjust: Set Your Alarm Clock in the morning and plan the reason WHY you’re getting up early on the weekend. So if you get up at 6am M-F, you’ll want to get up by 630am on the weekends too. But to do that, you’ll need a reason to get out of bed. It’s a perfect excuse to go hit up the gym and get your workout over with. Or it’s a great way to get up go to a Cafe, do some reading, your devotional, or work on other Mind and Soul goals you have. Creating a whole new Ritual out of your early mornings on weekends will be a special treat unto itself!

If you are tired at first, it will take an adjustment. If you need to take an afternoon nap at first, that’s fine, just keep it to the 20-min cat nap that’s been proven as most effective.

#4 Proven Tip: Mentally Prepare for the Weekend Reward:

Prepare

As humans we all know we use food and drinks as a reward system. This is not a bad thing unless your food reward and drink awards get out of control. High fat, high sugar and excessive alcohol tend to be the greatest “reward” in our brains and can often turn into unstoppable eating binges. SO, preparing for the exact thing you crave and planning where and when you have it will help you to control the natural tendency to let it get out of control.

How to adjust: Think of 1-2 healthier food options that are similar enough to your old bad habits. So instead of red wine all weekend, you’ll drink sparkling water with a splash of cranberry and then 1 really good glass of wine that’s worth it for you with dinner on Saturday night.

Think of 1-2 non-food ways to reward yourself during the weekend too. So instead of your whole weekend planning from brunch, to BBQ to dinner (i.e. all food items) make sure you have a pedicure, group workout class, a walk in the park, a coffee date with a friend or something NON-food related that will add some fun to your life.

#5 Proven Tip: Add some SOUL to your Sundays:

Sunday

Making sure you take one day in the weekend to get Spiritually aligned will help remind you of your “WHY” you are getting healthy to begin with. While this practice should not merely be practiced 1-day a week, it is great to have a day dedicated to thanking God for our creation and the wonder of our health blessings we have. It is not about RELIGION, but about building your personal relationship with God and doing this in COMMUNITY has been proven the most successful practice. You learn by listening to others who have more mature Faith than us. But the right fit might take a while to find. It might not be a church, but other spiritual practices you do in community with others. Building this through the weekend is the best way to carry it out into the week as well. It sets your heart on the right path again.

How to Adjust: Commit to going to church, watching a sermon/program online with others, or even going on a Spiritual or Prayer walk or hike to get your Spiritual alignment. Pray for your health, for greater wisdom on your health and how you are to use your body and your health to fulfill God’s Greater Purpose in your life.

Try out 1-2 of these new tips this weekend and see if you feel a greater sense of REWARD by Monday morning!

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Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Two Most Powerful Words…

I am

I recently came across a beautiful quote that said, “I Am. The two most powerful words.  For what you put after them shapes your reality.”

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These words, “I Am” are incredibly powerful.  Their meaning has so pervasive into my soul that it has taken on truer depths of meaning as I have thought of them, heard them in passing, and have seen them in written form too.

For those that took part in my 7-Steps to SURREND’her Goal Development Program or have read my ebook on the 7-Steps HERE, know that I drew emphasis on the power of our words in Step # 4 Visualize & Affirm It!

In this step, I stress the importance of using verbal affirmations because of the power that our words have over our subconscious mind!  Since neuro scientists have revealed that our subconscious mind is responsible for 95% of our behavior, I argue that anything we can do to re-wire our subconscious minds in the direction we want to go is the best practice! 

While, I think far too many people, including myself, ‘forget’ that this has been proven, and instead tend to repeat the old phrases in our heads.  The lies that we’ve always believed.

Such was the case from the last blog I wrote the other day.  I was in a world of turmoil for reasons I could not quite determine and I was just spiritually exhausted.  In prayer, I called out to God and asked how I was supposed to manage all of my new roles and callings when “I Am so insecure.”

Those words, “I am” shaped that reality and were a main reason for my turmoil. 

They were another LIE from the devil planted in my head, for who knows how long, that had taken root and was causing destruction in my ability to move forward with my Greater Purpose and calling. 

Do I have remorse for saying those words?  Absolutely not.  Because by saying them to God, HE was able to set me right again and speak the truth into me. 

He told me,  “My Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just been believing the lie that you are insecure.”

God revealed to me what my truth is. 

“I am empowered.  I am strong.  I am standing.” 

BUT LET’S UNWRAP IT A BIT MORE…..

These words, “I am” will always remind me of God speaking to Moses in Exodus. 

“God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM.’ This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.” (Exodus 3: 14)

For years and years, I have not been able to wrap my head around the sentence, “I AM has sent me to you.”

It has been a philosophical puzzle that I knew I was supposed to understand, but it wasn’t quite sinking to that depth yet….until one day.

Coincidentally, this was during a time where I was practicing the other part of the “Step #4 Visualize & Affirm It!” by doing a self visualization with my prayer.

There are times in my prayer that I get crystal clear on this woman that I picture myself to be.  My ‘future self’ that is living out her Greater Purpose and calling.  I imagine “her”, meaning me of course, in the course of a typical day. 

{This “her” is actually what I hope to inspire all women to focus on becoming and is the “her” I refer to in “STRONG’her, WISE’her and SURREND’her”}

For me, my visualization prayer takes me to this certain place. 

I visualize myself in 20+ years first in the outward appearance:  I visualize what I’m wearing, my body and shape, the type of chair I’m sitting in, the type of food Im snacking on etc. 

Then I visualize the feelings of this future version of myself: her aura and energy, the joy expressed in her face, the calm and peaceful way she talks— she is strong in grace. 

One day, as I was finishing up this visualization prayer, I began thanking God for this vision and for this future version of me.    

Instead of asking Him to guide me to be like her, I did the opposite, I thanked Him for already making it happen.  I am that confident that I will be this woman I envision, that I don’t actually have to ask God to become that woman anymore, I can start thanking God for what I already know will be. 

But as I started to thank Him, I found myself saying these words instead, “Thank you God for the woman that I will beco…(starting to say “become”), for the woman that “I AM.”

And that’s where it hit me.  “I AM”

There is no “future me”, there is just me.  It’s already been done.   Just like there is no future God…He’s already there too.

All the difficulties I will face between now and that woman I envision is already done.  The trials, the difficulties, the sorrows, the pains….already done and already solved.  The joy, the love, the peace and the grace are all already given to me at maximum levels too. 

I AM is now.   

I AM all of those things I dream of being one day, right now. 

The reason why this is true, is because God is in me and God IS ALL THESE THINGS. 

God does not live in space and time.  God is omnipotent. 

God is both the sorrow and the joy. 

God is both the pain and the peace.

He is ALL things because ALL things have their purpose, His Purpose. 

When I was crying on the ground and said the words, “I am insecure,”  God is that TOO.  God is the LIE only because He must be the LIE in order to be the TRUTH.   You cannot have the truth without also having the lie.

This is not to say that God is the cause of all of these things.  I recently heard a sermon by Pastor Rick Warren where He distinguished that our circumstances (including the bad times) can be caused by 4 different sources:

1. God
2. The Devil
3. Ourselves
4. Other People

So while we can sometimes determine if we’ve caused our own pain or if other people have, we often don’t know if our suffering is from God or the Devil. 

But the truth is that it doesn’t matter.  What matters is not the source of the PAIN, but rather how we are going to use it for our Greater Purpose.  Having a relationship with God means that we allow God to use all things to develop our Purpose and Character. 

The truth is, our times of trouble and the difficult times will have a far greater impact on us that the good and happy times.  The LIES we believe have their purpose in their pain.

So while I believe that the devil will continue to plant in my head the lies like, “I am insecure” that I will unknowingly believe for any course of time, I KNOW that God will give purpose and blessing to those lies.   

There is POWER in setting those lies straight.  There is POWER in discovering our TRUTH.

Jesus, who said, “I AM the way, the truth and the light” (John 14:6) will give us our TRUTH as long as we have ears that are open to hear it.

So I encourage you today, to stop, breathe and pray for greater awareness of who you really ARE.  Pray that all lies will be made true again. 

Shape the TRUTH of who you are by using the words, “I AM _______” and start repeating it to yourself every day, several times a day.  Shaping this TRUTH can be just another way that God will be revealed in you. 

“I AM sent me to you.” 

Categories
Spiritual Health

Confessions of an Unburdened Heart

Today, I would just like to share openly with you about some of my real and current struggles—not so that I use you, my beloved reader, as a way to vent my frustration and fears, but rather as a place where I can expose how God is rewiring my mind and soul in real time so that whatever struggle you might be facing right now  might make you feel like you are less alone.  So even if our struggles are not in the same category in life, we can connect in a sisterhood of Divine strength,  knowing that we are not the only ones in this very moment who are having a hard time unwrapping our beautiful hearts from the greedy hands of the devils destruction. 

I am experiencing one of those days that I just can’t stop crying. I am overcome.   But God is speaking to me and I just hope to share what He is telling me now. 

I pray that by unwrapping my heart, I might shine a light on your darkness too.

 Gods love can overwhelm me.  Experiencing a calling to the depth that I am experiencing can be so strong that it almost feels like a burden.

There are so many questions I cannot yet answer.  The mystery of, “What will happen?” builds-up like piles of stones trying to create a mountain blocking the path that God has laid out before me.

Every day, I am challenged to be bigger than my fear.  Every day I am challenged to choose God and choose Faith so that those stones of fear are bulldozed away and my path is made clear, again…..and again. 

I had naively thought that once I overcame my initial fear of starting this business and was willing to be obedient to this calling, that I would overpower all fear. 

I was wrong. 

I battle fears of failure every day.  I battle fears of caring too much about what other people think of me, every day.  I battle fears of unworthiness every. single. day. 

What’s crazy is this epiphany—–>  The closer I get to God, the more my fears can mount up.

It is very clear, that the devil can sense this intimacy I have with God, and he is not happy with it. 

My great Hope lies in this—–>the closer I get to God, the more I use His Power to knock down my fears.  I thank God that His Power is so great. 

The other wave of emotion that I feel is the weight of so many new ROLES all at once.  What I am experiencing through this life shift of SURREND’her is a convergence of many “callings” meeting together at the epicenter, which is my heart.

This should not be surprising, since as I have written several times, our “Calling” or our “Greater Purpose” is not limited to what we “do for a living.”  So while I will often relay that my “calling” is found in this business I have started, A.Wright Fit, the truth is my true Calling and my Greater Purpose is being molded from several roles all at once.  I know I am not alone in these roles.

For instance:

  • I am called to be Wife.  What an honor this role is.   Wow, is it hard.  Today, as I write this we are officially 7-months married.  Newlyweds ;-).  Borrowing the words of Gabrielle Bernstein as she too was speaking of her fiancé, (now husband),  “He is my greatest assignment and my greatest teacher.”  I moved away from my family and my home in Colorado, and found my new home in my husbands arms, wherever in the world they may be at the time, which is far more traveled than I had expected!
    What I feel so far about being married is that much of what is so difficult about it is that often times I feel as though Howard is really acting as a mirror, reflecting back to me my greatest flaws.  Looking at my flaws in a mirror is BY FAR one of my LEAST favorite activities.  But the lessons I receive daily are abundant and humbling.  Loving harder is a challenge I have not only accepted, but have committed to in the covenant of marriage.  It is all here for a reason and it can all bring me close to God.  But it is a daily choice.
       
  • I am called to be Mother.  As I took my vows to marry, I also took on this new role as step-mom or what they call me, which is simply “Mandi” or specifically, “Mani” for the little one.  This is a role no one can really prepare you for.  There are not the “What to Expect When You’re Not Technically Expecting” books out there, nor did I experience any warm-up to parenting that being pregnant  or raising a child from infancy can provide.  I was thrown into the game as a rookie with both a toddler and a college student.  As a step-mom, I think the greatest gift I have is just a natural sense in navigating the boundaries for all parties involved and growing in love every day.  But I must admit, the fear of overstepping the boundaries are always great and choosing the love is not automatic, which I have guilt even admitting.  I am grateful I have God who teaches me how to choose love.
  • I am called to be Sister.  I am a little sister in the literal sense (and I miss my siblings fervently), but my calling is also now to be a Sister in the Soulful sense.  Starting this business has very little to do with the actual products and programs I offer, and much more about how can I serve as a Sister in Christ.  How can I play a role in helping others find their own paths to health and their Greater Purpose.  How can I help others seek God’s great Power for their life?  It is navigating the terrain and finding the right paths to being in the “right place at the right time” that is challenging.  Connecting with my clients as their health coach and helping women, most of which I’ve never met, find a greater connection to their health and to God is an honor.  It is simply my hope that I might be able to expand in this role and be called to serve on a wider platform. I do not know what lies ahead.
  • I am called to be Child.  I am both the child of the greatest parents in the history of the world, including my mother-in-law, but also and more importantly, the child of God.  I realized I am still in the infancy stages of life in so many ways and I know I am just learning to walk.  Like children often do,  I am learning so much at once!    I realize I must learn first before I can teach—- so I must learn to walk before I can run.

So, as I mentioned in my opening, it is days like this that I feel very overcome by the greatness of these Callings converging on me all at once. 

So I have done the only thing I have left to do, I have asked God the real question on my heart.

“God, why would you give such enormous callings to a girl who has been plagued with such insecurity her whole life?  How can you expect this insecure girl to really manage a head-strong husband, being away from her family and security, the unknown role of step-mothering, the huge leap of faith to lead women as an entrepreneur all while still learning to “walk” as the Child of God?”

God has answered me. 

I was literally bowed down with my head on the ground in the middle of my kitchen and His words came came to me,

“Beloved, you are not insecure.  You have just believed the lie that you are insecure.  I have given these things to you because you can handle them all, “not by works, but by Faith”.  “Put on the armor of God” and become the warrior I have called you to be.  Believe the lie no more and unburden your heart, “for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  You are worthy.”

He reminded me not to misjudge how I measure His love.  To not think that just because some people have found worldly success that they are somehow loved more than me.  He loves us all immeasurably and it cannot be compared.  We do not see the full picture of everyone’s heart and happiness. 

He reminded me that my burdens are not a sign that He does not love me either.  They are more of a sign that I am doing what is right and it is the devil who is afraid.  He reminded me that I can feel His love by his great protection and part of His love is shown in ways I cannot see. 

He reminded me not to miscalculate the size of His hands and Might of His Wings.  That His sovereign strength can bear all things.  That I can “take refuge under His mighty wings” and give Him ALL of my burdens, even those I’m ashamed to admit.  He can take them all and more. 

He reminded me that I’m not alone.

That I’m not insecure.

I am a warrior.

So, I stood up.  And here I shall STAND.

Below, are just some of the verses that came into my mind through my prayerful dialogue with God.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the power of this dark world and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  (Ephesians 6: 11-13)

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2: 8-10)

“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God!  People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” (Psalm 36: 7)

Categories
Fitness & Training Health Coaching Spiritual Health Uncategorized

The Competitive Mind Trap

Girls Compete

The other day I shared a video on my Facebook business page, A.Wright Fit, of an interview of one of my favorite actors, Will Smith, going into a pretty in depth explanation on his work ethic, motivation and ultimate success in his life and in the movie making industry. To see the video and to see what I posted, click HERE.

You can see by watching the video he is deeply inspired and seems to be rooted in a very strong competitive mindset about who he is and what he can do.

As I explained on my Facebook page, because I like Will Smith so much, I wanted so badly to be inspired by this great actor, but I realized in the last couple of weeks since first seeing this interview, that I was not inspired by it at all. In fact, I disagree with the source of his motivation and mindset toward success.

Specifically, when Will Smith says of himself and his success, “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me, is that I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. I will not be outworked. You might be smarter than me. You might have more talent than me. You might be sexier than me [

Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Looking in the Mirror Naked

Looking in the Mirror

My role as a health coach is incredibly rewarding.  I get to connect with a group of intelligent, brave, incredible women who are willing to open themselves up to me (often times someone they’ve never met) with their hopes, dreams and insecurities about their bodies and their health.

While I’ve had to get over my own insecurities about feeling “fit enough” or “healthy enough” to actually offer advice to anyone else, I know that this role is something I was designed for.  It is part of my Greater Purpose.  I’m not perfect at it, by any means, but I am learning so much about myself in the ways that I serve others.  God blesses me and I praise Him for that.

As was the case just yesterday with one of my clients.  I’m not going to name any names, of course, but this client is particularly beautiful on the inside and out.  I just love our weekly “Google Hangout” sessions and getting to see her face and just talk about her big dreams she is so capable of accomplishing for her body!  She is one client that is considering doing a bikini competition and I am so excited for her and to be able to coach her in a BALANCED way to this monster goal and not losing sight of having a strong mindset and strong spirit along the way.  Essentially, I am hoping to accomplish with her what I myself could not do.  There is something really beautiful about this opportunity for us both!

 

Over the weekend, I got an email from her with some recent snap shots of her body for what are called “Progress Pictures”.  I think progress pictures are incredibly valuable to the health journey not because it’s easy or even enjoyable to stare at yourself in the mirror and even (gasp!) share these images with another person, but because there is power in being able to look back and see how far you’ve come.  Somehow it’s a step in Faith, saying “I know this is how I look now, but I also know this is not how I’m going to look in the future.  So I’m brave enough to take the pictures now so I can one day see how far I’ve come.”  Again, it’s a challenge, but can be a really rewarding practice.

In fact, I think that is also the benefit of doing “Mind” and “Spiritual” versions of “progress pics” by doing things like journaling and written prayer journals, just so you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I highly recommend adding these practices for anyone looking to make some health changes!

 

But, back to the story, my client took the pictures and sent them to me and the email inevitably had some remarks about her “flawed” body parts and imperfections.  I related heavily to how she was feeling.  I think every woman on the planet can relate to this.  It is so challenging to stare at ourselves in the mirror without starting into a tirade against our body “flaws.”    Why is it so hard for every woman?!  Fat, skinny, short, tall, fit, thin –we all have things we don’t love about ourselves!

To me, the answer is the same answer it has been for me since that 2nd grade story I shared not long ago. My mind, and the lens through which I see my body, is the flawed part–not my body itself.  There are LIES that wreck havoc over my eyeballs and that tell me all the reasons why “I’m not good enough.”

 

So, I sent my client an email back but I felt as though I was really writing this email to myself.  Since I knew it was something that I needed to remind myself of and certainly knew this was something my client needed to remind herself of, then I can only assume that this might be something that YOU need to remind yourself of too.

 

So, here’s what I wrote:

Yes, I saw your pictures!

So, here’s what I see.  I see YOU and your beautiful body!  I also see that you are getting “nervous” because you are now seeing your body as the “flaws” that they are and what all will need to change by the time you hit the stage.

This is exactly what I did and exactly what I see so many women in this world do.
We think that in order to “motivate” ourselves, we need o focus on our flaws and fix them.  This is the equivalent of “hating your body to change it.”
It can work.  But the way it works is all negative and will suck the life right out of you.  It will make the next year of your life miserable and hard.
So, you’re not going to learn to love your body once it changes.  You have to learn to love your body now.  Just as it is.    Only from LOVING your body will you be able to set out and change it for the good of your soul.  To make a change in your body and your health, you will have to seek ways to become a better you and to do so from a place of LOVE not HATE.  Otherwise, it will suck the love right out of you.
So HOW do you do that? How do you love your body now?!   
Honestly, it’s a day by day and moment by moment, CHOICE that you’ll have to make.   It is a change that you’ll need to find deep in your soul to the the point that it can actually change your mindset too.
How do you love yourself?
First, by recognizing you are LOVED by God.  God IS love.
god-is-love
Think of the things that you love in this life.  You have love that should feel almost effortless right?   That feeling—God created that.  That feeling IS God.  When you feel that love it means you are feeling God within you.  What’s different about the love you feel for others and the love God has for you is that God’s love for you in unconditional.  You have it no matter what.  You can not earn it, you can not give it away.  What you need in your life is to simply embrace this love.
Right now, there are some walls blocking you from feeling this LOVE when you look at yourself.  These walls cause a darkness over your heart.  The walls might be from past pains you’ve experienced, or by comparing yourself now to the girls you saw at the show, or simply from LIES in your head that you’ve believed your whole life.  These LIES are from the devil and he is so smart and tricky and has made you believe these things are “normal” in your head.  They are not.
They are lies.  Fear is a liar.  Always remember that.
So, to turn away from these LIES and TOWARD LOVE you have to go out and seek it.  You have to practice love and make it a habit.  You will find that your spirit and mind will grow into this the more you practice it.  But it will be an everyday challenge that you have to choose to engage in.

Forming Habits of Self Love:

  1.  Pray to God and ask that His love fill you up and pour over and make you see the love for yourself too.  Building a relationship with God cultivates love with Him and then love for yourself.
  2. Replace all negative self talk with positive.  Every time you catch yourself wanting to be negative about your body, choose to repeat a positive love affirmation.  “I choose to love my body today”  or “Love conquers all”.  Something sweet and meaningful to you.
  3. Read Spiritual passages about love in scripture.  Search to understand what love is more and what Love God has for you.
  • Here’s some of my favorites:
  • Ephesians 3:17-19
  • Romans 8:28-30
  • 1 Corinthians 13:13
  • 1 John 4:8
  • Matthew 6:25
Take a moment to look these up and write down what they mean for you.  Meditate on them and seek ways for you to believe they are true.
      4.   Read other books, poetry, and podcasts etc that will help you remember to love yourself or just be inspired.
I love the new Oprah book “What I Know For Sure” where she does these short articles from her O magazine.  You could read one a day and really feel the benefit.
Here’s an excerpt that made me think of you just now.  She was talking about her constant struggle with dieting and her body (we can all relate).  What I Know For Sure
“I sat up one crisp, sunny morning and made a vow to love my heart.  To treat it with respect.  To feed it and nurture it.  To work it out and then let it rest.  And then one night when I was getting out of the tub, I glanced in the full-length mirror.  For the first time, I didn’t launch into my self criticism.  I actually felt a warming sense of gratitude for what I saw.  My hair braided, not a stitch of makeup on, face clean.  Eyes bright, alive.  Shoulders and neck strong and firm.  I was thankful for the body I lived in.
I did a head-to-toe assessment, and though there was plenty of room for improvement, I no longer hated part of myself, even the cellulite.  I thought, ‘This is the body you’ve been given–love what you’ve got’.”
          
Other books:
Jesus Calling, Laura Young
Awaken the Gian Within, Tony Robbins
How you can Heal Your Life, Louise L. Hay
The Road Less Traveled, M. Scott Peck
Choose to start this today!  We are going to work through this SELF LOVE just as we are working through this BODY CHANGE.  By doing this, your experience will be a drastically different one than most will experience.  It will be a world different from MY own show too.
I am so excited to be a part of this!!  But again, this is a PROCESS!  It will take bit by bit to make any change –body, mind and soul.  All you have to do is be present to this very moment, and commit to the next step that GOD lays out ahead of you.
Love you!
M”
For anyone else that read this and can relate, I’d love to hear ways that you cultivate your own self love? Please comment below!  I know we all need reminders of things we can do to keep these LIES in our head at bay and start seeing ourselves the way God does!
I know for sure, that the process of sharing and engaging in God more because of these insecurities is the exact reason why we struggle with them to begin with! So in spite of it always seeming like a never-ending battle, it really is a blessing in disguise because of how much it will bring us closer to God.
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Categories
Health Coaching Spiritual Health

Enough with the Guilt! 4 Ways to Rid The Guilt

Enough with the Guilt!

Each woman in this world has a space to fill.  Each woman is worthy of infinite blessings from God.  Each woman is designed for a noble cause and has capacity for blessed improvement in this life she may lead.

YOU are worthy of your space, your purpose and your path.

Yet, what I am hearing from clients, from friends and from, frankly, my own head, is a tremendous about of guilt caused from what only can be “not good enough” syndrome. 

“Oh, I totally botched my diet this weekend!  Ugh, I am totally going to have to workout extra this week and cut some extra calories.”

“I never feel like my house is clean enough.  I should spend some more time dusting”

“I don’t feel like I’m doing a good enough job parenting.  I’m not there enough for them or helping them enough with homework.”

“Everyone at the office is putting in more hours than me, I should to stay late at work so they don’t think I’m the weak link.”

“I should really do something sexy for my husband, but I have just been feeling too tired lately and certainly not sexy.”

“I haven’t spent any time alone with God lately, I am sure He is going to punish me in some way.  I really need to go to church this weekend.”

Guilt, especially in women, seems to run rampant in our minds and more gravely in our spirit.

But let’s be very honest with ourselves, GUILT does not bring about any real and lasting change in our lives. 

There will always be more things that we “should” be doing better.  There will always be ways that we are falling short of perfection.  We are human. 

I think most women are aware of the guilt that they feel.  But it has become a feeling that is so familiar that it may actually become a tactic we use as false motivation. 

It’s false because the idea of guilting oneself into true change is like putting a bandaid-type of fix to an open-artery-type of need. 

Using guilt as motivation will not bring about true transformation, true change and true relief into any area of our life we are trying to improve whether it be personal, body, family, work, romance, or spirit.

If we take it outside of our own heads, we can clearly see several examples of how guilting others does not in fact motivate anyone for real change. 

For example:

The “diet” phenomenon is something that is all to common these days, and I am guilty of unintentionally prescribing such ways of thinking early in my nutrition career.  By issuing things like exact meal plans and precise diets to follow is basically establishing a set of “rules” that each client is expected to follow in order to garner success in weight loss.   The same goes for any diet program or fad that society will flock to, they are essentially establishing their own set of new “rules” to follow.   

But, each time we set up “rules” to follow, we are automatically setting up ways for us to issue these same feelings of “guilt” when we inevitably fall short or “cheat”. 

The problem with guilting our society into these weight loss “rules” is that it clearly does not have long-lasting results!  We have all seen more diet failures than successes!  There is a reason why the rate of overweight and obesity is on the rise despite having more diets out there than ever before.  Diets and their “rules” don’t work.

None of my clients had any intention of following my meal plan for the rest of their lives just as many people who try out the new fad diet will likely resort back to old eating habits eventually too!  Just short months after working with me and finding weight loss success,  I saw a great many clients gain back half, if not all, of the weight they had lost and were riddled with guilt about it.  The “rules” and the subsequent “guilt motivation” clearly didn’t last!  In fact, it just caused more guilt!

Outside of weight loss, I’ve also witnessed this ineffective guilt tactic in the role of religion in our country.  While I know a great many of friends that do believe that there is a God and most of whom do believe in Jesus as well, I would say the majority of those that do not embrace a Christian lifestyle don’t because of some religious person or persons that had evoked some sort of rules and guilt tactic on them at some point in their life. 

So often, “religious” people get very caught up in the “rules” of the bible and “rules” of following a Christian lifestyle.  It is off-putting to think that one has to do so many things in order to make it into heaven!  You have to go to church, tithe 10%, get baptized, pray daily, take communion, confession, etc etc etc.    

I was blessed to be born into a healthy and faith-based household, but even I have had some very strong and off-putting experiences with “religious” people that were trying to enforce some “Christian” agenda.  It did NOT work to get me into church more and it did NOT work to affect any change on my life. 

Guilting me about my sin was not an way to get me to change in any real way. 

I shudder when I think about those crazy “christian” types that are picketing with signs outside of court houses bashing abortion and gay people and blaming them for our natural disasters.    

It is sickening and maddening when people try to use guilt as a motivating tactic, especially when they put the name of God on their own judgement.  I am just glad that we have a fair and just God who WILL handle all condemnation in this after life.

We see that these tactics evoke any real change, and yet we still guilt ourselves daily. 

One things I know for sure,

 GUILT IS NOT FROM GOD. 

If you want to truly change your life for the better?  Truly transform your heart?  Truly realign your soul in the direction you are destined to go? 

What you need is…..

Less GUILT and More GOD. 

Guilt is not one of the fruits of the Spirit.  Guilt is not one of the characteristics that is revealed of God throughout the Bible.  Guilt is not the purpose of any one of the teachings of Jesus while he walked this earth. 

Any time we feel guilty for not being enough in some way, that is not from God but is the devil trying to keep us playing small by feeling overwhelmed and lost.

God knows that we are never going to get it all done perfectly as much as we might try.  God knows that we are human and flawed in our nature.  Our imperfection has Greater PURPOSE.  God uses it to bless us!

Each one of our flaws opens up a greater opportunity for us to depend on God. 

We don’t do it by mastering the religious practices, or by following a specific religious doctrine. 

We do it by engaging in an ongoing relationship with Him.

“Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” Psalm 34:5

Our imperfections are our avenues for God’s amazing grace to dwell and fill the empty space within.

Naturally, all of this elicits the question:

What are we to do with our guilt?   How do we actually step away from our natural “guilt” response?

Here are 4 R’s to Remember When You’re Riddled with Guilt:

1.)RECOGNIZE the trigger words in your head

You know the ongoing conversation we have with ourselves in our head?  Well, there are repeatable words and phrases that are common when guilting ourselves that we can recognize and change.

“Should” or “shouldn’t”—“I should have gone to the gym this morning.”  “I shouldn’t have eaten so much for lunch. 

“Ugh”, or “Ick”— Often when looking in the mirror or looking at our messy homes, the first word in our thoughts it something like “ugh.”  For some of my close friends lately, it’s more like “ewwww”. 🙂

“Just”– Commonly more of the complaining side of guilt, but phrases like “I just need more time in my day”, “I just wish I could have done more on that project at work.”

Your head might have different catch phrases when thinking guilty thoughts, but I encourage you to take some time to recognize your own thought patterns!

2.)  REMEMBER that God is with you in your mind and knows what you are thinking. 

What helps me is the second I recognize those trigger words in my head, I think about God sitting in an listening to them.  I think of how much He loves me and how much those thoughts don’t serve me or serve Him.  I open my heart and my internal ears for Him to gently guide my thoughts to Him and to how HE sees me, not just how I see me.

*Remember, if you have thoughts that God is seeing you with anything other than love, know that these thoughts are from the devil.  Do not confuse the two and do not listen to the evil thoughts in your head!*

3.) REPHRASE your thought in a way that is more self loving. 

Give yourself credit for what you ARE doing that is right and good and helpful to your life’s improvement.   This can be very hard to do in the moment, especially when we are so conditioned to be so hard on ourselves.  But opening yourself up even 1x a day for some self love can work wonders in motivating yourself from within. 

4.) REFOCUS your effort–

Ask yourself questions like,

“If I wasn’t trying to be perfect right now at everything, how can I use this time to better one area of my life that truly needs it?” 

or  

“What is it that I really want and need to do right now.”

So often, we feel guilt because we are trying to juggle a ton of things all at once and not doing any one of them very well! 

Stepping back and assessing what God is telling you to focus on “right now” is key! 

All day, I now have this conversation with God and truly believe that He is guiding me in the most mundane of activities. 

I don’t audibly hear Him talking to me, but it is a spiritual flow that only occurs when I remember to think about Him and I ask for small step guidance. 

When I am constantly speaking to God within, I do not have words of guilt flowing through my head.  I speak to myself in a more self loving and supportive way which is the most motivating and inspirational way of speaking possible!

Oh, the things I can accomplish when I skip the guilt!!    It brings about more joy, more love, more peace and you guessed it…..

REAL CHANGE.

  

Categories
Spiritual Health

The Art of SURREND’her & Your Health

Water Rapics_Final

“I am just so frustrated because I am doing everything right, but I’m not really seeing any changes to my body.”

This is a common quote from any one of my health coaching clients, or frankly, from my own mind from time to time.   I usually hear this type of remark about 2 weeks into developing new habits and rituals into the daily life of a woman attempting to get the body and level of fit that she desires. 

We think that getting the body we want, we will get the life we want.

We think by achieving optimal health, we will live comfortably.

We think that if we are uncomfortable or struggling in some way with our health, we’re doing something wrong.  That we must just need to try harder.

We grow impatient quickly.  We grow weary.

Some of us at this stage will just give up and say, “Well, it’s just not meant to be.  I’m just not meant to be fit.”

Others will start to take things into their own hands by beginning to “micromanage” their health.  Assuming the more control they have, the more they’ll see results and the less risk of getting to an “uncomfortable” place again.  They will start to rely on just themselves again.

For some reason, so many of us take God out of our goals for health.  We put God in the “Spirit” category of life.  He can come to church with me; He can help me find a new job and career; He can help me find a mate; He can help me repair my relationship with my (mom, grandpa, coworker etc.).

But our weight loss and eating habits?  “No, no, we need to do this on our own.  We can’t bother God with something so trivial!”

This is especially the case for those who don’t have much of a problem with their weight, but still have fitness goals.   They’re not fighting anything like obesity, diabetes, or cancer that would require more prayer.  But those who live in a pretty normal or healthy weight range but would still like to lose those few extra pounds will often leave God completely out of such category as fitness. 

What if I told you that your HEALTH, no matter how big or how small your health goal is ABSOLUTELY dependent on your relationship with God. 

In fact, your health, just like every other aspect of your life is a process to be SURRENDERED to God if it’s going to be a blessing to your life.

To Surrend’her means that you don’t give up, but you give UP.  You stop trying to steer the boat yourself, but you don’t abandon your boat either.  You stay in and you flow with God. 

My sister-in-law, Laura, and I were talking the other day about some visions that God had given her.  She said she kept picturing white water rafting, which is something she has never done before.

She said, “The beautiful thing about white water rafting is that in order to stay in the raft and handle the waves and rapids, you actually have to sit in the middle of the raft and not hold on to the sides or anything.  You just have to trust and relax your body as much as possible and let your body bounce with the raft as it hits the rocks and waves.  You have to surrender to it, just like we have to surrender to God.”

It was a beautiful analogy and I believe God was sending her a clear message that I was rewarded with too (as are all of you!). 

I see God as not only the raft that is taking you down your “river of life”, but I see God as the water itself, the rocks you hit, and the other underlying creatures below the surface causing your life to be quite the ride!  God is ALL of it and it all has purpose!

The key is, the more you surrender to the raft, the higher the rapids you can handle and the faster you can go.

Our bodies are so complex and our health goes so much deeper than what we can see in the mirror.    Our metabolic systems run just like the rushing white water rapids down a river.  They are constantly changing direction and moving according to the various hormone responses, food intake, weight, muscle mass, exercise exertion, water, vitamins and minerals and many more factors than that! 

There is NO WAY that you can completely control and manipulate your metabolism, just like there is NO WAY you can control a raging river.

In your health, there comes a point that you just have to sit in the middle of the raft and surrend’her to it all.   It takes an incredible amount of trust and faith to do this every day.

But, trusting the process of health IS trusting God.

Sarah Young in her book, Nearer to Jesus, reminds us “You can achieve the victorious life through living in deep dependence on (Jesus).”

Victorious life. Not “safe” life.  Not “always comfortable” life. Not even “successful” life. 

Victory in God means you have won the battle by giving up the sword.  You put your hope in the Lord and you trust the process he has put before you.  There is a process of nurturing and taking care of your health and your metabolism.  There are choices you can make at every meal of every day that will help keep all systems running as efficiently as possible.   

If you are struggling, seek the information you will need to learn about your body.  Once you have the information, start making the changes in your life and trust that it will all be for Good.  God can provide you resources for all. 

As you start to make changes to your health, you accept every stumble, every fall, every wave, and every rock as signs that you are indeed doing something right.  Because each stumble requires more and more dependence on God. 

This is what He wants from you.  He wants a relationship with you.  For you to bring ALL things to Him, even something as trivial as weight loss. 

For even in your discomfort, even in your failings and even in your shortcomings, you still have the Joy of the Lord when you keep Him by your side. 

You do not give up. 

But you sure do Surrend’her.