I am a HEAD CASE.

“You’re in your head a lot.” This is what my friend Erin tells me all the time. She quickly follows it up with, “Don’t get me wrong. It takes one to know one!”

It’s true, I can get trapped in my “own head” a lot. I love that I am able to critically think and analyze something until I fully comprehend what I should do or how I can teach it. However, when it comes to “self-talk” and even my relationships with others, it can be my greatest downfall.

If I stay too long in my head, it prevents me from acting and doing the things I know God wants me to do. It delays me and distracts me from my Greater Purpose pathway and the peace that He can give me when I dwell with Him in the Spirit.

When it comes to our health, our MINDS make all the difference. Our thoughts cannot be trusted to tell us the truth, but our Spirit can. Our Spirit is our inner “knowing,” or divine intuition that leads us in the direction we should go, even when it doesn’t logically make sense.

When we are in tune with our Spirit, we can learn to trust it as our guide.

Paul encourages us in Ephesians 6:18 to, “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers.”

The problem is, how can we tell, then, when we are in Our Spirit versus when we are in Our Head? How can you understand your own intuition versus your regular thought life?

I don’t think I recognized my own Spiritual voice in my head until I was being tempted beyond my normal “head case” ways.

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I remember, I was angry with my husband for something. I honestly have no idea what it was for on this occasion, because, let’s face it, husbands can do this to us ALL THE TIME, or at least mine does!

But my anger was manifesting itself in the worst ways— ways that I think we can all relate to.

I was playing the “worst case scenario” in my head. I was worrying and over-analyzing and OBSESSIVELY role playing what I was going to say to him when I saw him. I overwhelmingly felt like I was the victim of some great marriage tragedy, which, since I CAN’T remember for the life of me what the issue was today, tells us all that this was NOT indeed the case. Ha!

Nevertheless, I was miserable, unable to do any work and crying, A LOT (this is how I release a lot of emotion, unfortunately).

A deep part of me somehow knew I was overreacting in some way. It naturally turned into my need to PRAY to God and frantically ask for help. (Sign #1)

All of a sudden, when I stopped “talking to myself” in my head and starting “talking to God” I would physically feel the angst in my chest lift and I would be able to relax, even if for just a moment. (Sign #2)

It was not easy, my prayers would last about 30 seconds at the most. I could not concentrate on God very long before my mind would take over again and start spiraling.

But, again and again, I felt this tug to turn back to God in prayer, and each time, would relax a bit more. (Sign #3)

It was a tough day, and I was exhausted by the constant back and forth and inner turmoil, but in the end, I felt resilient.

More SURREND’hered.

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As I reflect on this experience now, I know that I won that battle against the temptation taking place in my head. That’s right, when we feel the anxiety, worry, victim mentalities, that is the tell-tale sign that we are under an attack.

However, when I sought God and found my Spiritual self again, I was then able to gather my thoughts and have a rational conversation with my husband to get to a resolution. We were able to talk without it escalating and making it far worse, which, had I gone with my original conversation in my head, would have done just that.

What I learned was….

I would liken our “SPIRIT SELF” versus our “WORLDLY SELF” as the inner *KNOWING* that is tugging at our heart and gut and biding us to share our burden.

The voice that I take on when I speak to God sounds different than when I talk to myself…and yet, it’s still me talking.

As an aside, there was a time where I tried to sound really eloquent and “spiritual” in my prayers….now I just talk how I would talk to any of my closest friends and family members. I remain authentic to my personality and communication because, well, God knows me anyway. I can’t fake it with God and it makes my prayer life much easier.

Plus, when I speak to God versus when I speak to myself, I will say things like, “God, I’m really angry right now and feel frustrated by x, y, z (and usually l, m, n, o, p!)….” but then I start saying things in my prayers like, “BUT, I know that you will handle all of this. BUT, I know that you want me to be (faithful, loving, kind, gentle etc etc). ” (Sign #4)

Those sentences, where I start to say, “I KNOW” is not my head talking to me. My head is being attacked. That is my divine intuition, my “inner knowing,” speaking through me that is the Holy Spirit guiding me back to the *me* that He created me to be—> the Spiritual Self.

The answer….

So, how do you find your “Spiritual Self Talk” and distinguish her from your “Worldly Self Talk?”

PRAYER.

How you truly start to recognize your “INTUITION” versus your “HEAD” is characterized by what happens as you PRAY versus what happens as your THINK.

The more you start to pay attention to what is going on in that PRAYER SPACE, the more you will be able to embody that space throughout the day. Prayer doesn’t always have to be a secluded, quiet event. It can be a inner dialogue just as your regular thoughts are.

That is how you can indeed, “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion” as Paul so rightly recommends. Those days where I can walk and talk with God all day long are my greatest days ever.

I have characterized the majority of my life as feeling like a solid B+ student wishing she were an A. Across the board, I have felt this lacking and longing that I could be just a little better than I was. In my looks, my body, my intellect, my athletic capability, even my Faith!

There always feels like there is this space between where I am and where I want to be. Do you know the feeling?

I feel this space also in my relationships! You can feel the tension and the gap between where I am coming from and where, say, my husband is coming from on any conversation or subject.

These gaps in our life can leave us feeling completely inadequate and lacking in various ways. Like the dangling carrot on a stick in front of our nose, we will never quite get there. For some, it may make them want to just give up and quit! For others, it will become a perpetual obsessive cycle to become “enough.”

But, what I have come to learn, that these gaps in our life are the greatest gifts we can ever receive and a brilliant design by God.

So, not only am I going to explain why you should say a prayer of thanks for your gaps in your life today, but I will give you a great tool to remind you of their magnitude to store in your heart for your next moment of inadequacy!

When we study God’s word and reflect on His nature and character sewn throughout, we can see what an act of love our own insufficiency can be. Because, without our own GAPS in life, we would not have enough room and space for God.

God designed us to need Him and wholly depend on Him for our entire life. Without these great spaces in our lives, we would not have that longing for Him. Nor would we have the chance for Him to bless us in such astonishing and over-the-top ways.

He blesses us in spite of us. Paul reminds us in Romans 3:23 NIV “for all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.”

So whether you are the Pope or Mother Theresa, you too fall short of the Glory of God.

If life were a literal race and we were all running from coast to coast, there will be some that will be better than others, sure. But in the end, no man is able to run non-stop all the way to the finish line. We ALL will fall short.

There is a GAP between where we are in our sin and where God is in His Holy throne. We cannot get there while on this Earth.

The Good News….

BUT, BUUUUUUUUUUTTTTT, God is Good, ALL THE TIME and He takes these blessed GAPS in our life and transforms them into exactly what we need! How? By bridging the G.A.P and filling that space.

You can use this acronym to remind you of exactly what your GAPs in your life really represent!

G: Grace

The space between REAL you and PERFECT you will be filled with God’s Grace. It is with Grace that God sent His son Jesus down to live and die as a sacrifice for our sins we are committing now.

This Grace is what fills up this universe sized space between our sinful nature and God’s nature.

When we feel insufficient, we are reminded by God that, “My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

He takes our insufficiency and transforms it with His Grace. We are sufficient and purposeful because we fall short.

The best part is, that God’s grace is FREE. You cannot earn it or buy it! All you have to do is believe to receive.

So if you have not yet received God in your heart and are ready to unload this burden of trying to be perfect all on your own, it is time that you give your heart a break and choose to believe in Christ today. Your Faith does not have to be perfect to trust and believe, it just has to be from the heart.

You can do it right now and say in your heart, “God, I choose to believe that you love me and sent your son to die for me. I ask for your presence and guidance in my life, to be my Lord and save me. Amen.”

God will take care of growing your Faith and all of the questions that you have. You don’t have to prove Him to yourself, He will handle it. Just believe and you will receive.

A: Abundance

The second reminder is that when we feel like we are lacking in qualities, outcomes, characteristics, and even Faith, God is our ABUNDANCE.

One of the greatest gifts you can have is to think with an abundance mindset. To know that no matter what, there is always more where that came from.

If someone stole your great invention, there will be an even greater invention down the line.

If you didn’t get the great job promotion that you worked so hard for, there will be an even better opportunity coming shortly.

All of dreams that seem impossible with your current circumstances, are POSSIBLE with God. “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”

Having that GAP in between the reality and your expectation, leaves room for the Great HOPE for tomorrow that only God can provide. God gives us Hope with His Abundant nature.

“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,” (Ephesians 3:20 NLT)

P: Power

These very spaces of inadequacy and gaps in our alignment become the areas where we gain our greatest courage, strength and POWER.

Going back to the verse in Romans, not only do we see that God’s grace is our sufficiency, but is also our POWER because God’s Power becomes our Power.

“My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

When we are weak, He is STRONG.

When we feel afraid, He is our COURAGE.

When we want to act out in anger, He is our LOVE.

All of these attributes become our very power within us to withstand every circumstance and failure in life.

Whatever we are lacking, God exceeds and it is in HIS Might that we are so capable.

The next time you feel the weight of the space between you and your goals, expectations, and progress, remember your GAP is your Guide.

It is easy to keep putting more pressure on yourself to try harder or to give up rather than give IN to the God that created you, but I assure you, seeing these spaces as the Grace, Abundance and Power that you need to excel will quickly show you how incredibly rewarding our Faith can be!