The other day, I wrote about my epiphany of one of the greatest fears that a Christian person might have when talking about their Faith is the feared STIGMA that all Christians are self-righteous, hypocritical A-HOLES. I believe this fear actually holds so many of us back from speaking our truth and actually impacting people’s lives. (read here)

The fear of the stigma becomes a deterrent for standing up and speaking our truth! It prevents many people from sharing openly or from doing something like I’ve done— combining their business and their Faith.

Because the truth is just because I run a Faith-Based Company does not mean I’m over here counting your sins and judging you. No, it DOES NOT in fact mean that I’m a Christian A-Hole. So I think it’s time we stand up and say it and prove it with our actions.

This past weekend I was at a Fitness conference among 80+ other women, and I was able to successfully hurdle this fear of the stigma that others were going to “not like me” or “shy away from me” because of my beliefs. Well, that didn’t happen!

While I didn’t intentionally set out to do these things, I can reflect now on the 5 things I did that helped me to avoid this misconception and have a really great time bonding with fellow Faith-based people and non-Faith-based people alike.

I encourage you, if you are Faith-based to apply whatever fits well with you in your life without the fear of ruffling feathers. If you are not Faith-based, or have had reservations about your belief because of a past experience with an overly-religious people, I hope this will give you some hope that there is a way for your to establish a relationship with God and not fear what your lifestyle will be like!

5 Ways to NOT Be a Christian A-Hole:

1. Stand-Up and Say Your Truth With Confidence:

People know when you’re faking it. They know when you’re nervous from second guessing yourself. So, the key to being able to do this is to hold your conviction of what you truly believe. Faith is not easy, but you don’t have to have it “perfect” to be able to talk freely about your experience and even admit that you have questions or doubts but still have Faith. Your only task is to stand in your truth! People resonate with those that hold conviction. That speaks far louder than any choice of words!

2. People Don’t Remember What You Say, But Do Remember How You Make Them Feel:

Growing up, I do remember a lot of experiences where I felt uncomfortable about religious people. I remember those people that tried to guilt me for my sin and it did push me away. But, luckily, there were just as many people that showed me love and compassion through interest and genuine care in my life. Today, I remember 0% of what words people ever spoke to me, but I will remember always how they made me feel. I am still drawn to seek these people and be around them because of how I feel when I’m with them.

Hold this truth close to your heart too. Let go of the need to say “just the right thing” to people you want to reach and instead just focus on doing the things that make other people feel good to be around you. Being present in the moment allows you to take this opportunity and represent God best.

3. People Respond to Passion and Kindness:

I spoke with almost all 80 of the women in the room and did not ask a single one of them about their Faith. You might find that odd, but what I did I think inspired far greater. I spoke about my Faith with such passion and kindness that it gave opportunity for whomever I was speaking with to open up if they chose to. Many of the women did and we had a great conversation.

When I speak about A. Wright Fit, I realize my passion just lights up. It is not about the business that excites me, it is what God has done through my life and the very miracle that I am where I am today. Speaking of that personal pride and joy from God resonates FAR greater than having a “philosophical” discussion of what it means to be Faith-based or not Faith-based.

I could see in the women’s eyes that they would light up as my energy poured out of me. So no matter what their current relationship with God was, I transmitted mine without having to use words. I hope they saw such a passionate relationship with God within me that they might desire one for themselves! I can only show this, not explain it.

4. Use Far More “I’s” and “We’s” than “You’s”:

Ok, this might be Sales 101, but I think for many believers this might be a necessary refresher! If you want to get someone to do something, buy something, or BELIEVE something, you don’t go about doing it by TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO and all the reasons why. Why? Because our innate human response when someone tells us what to do is to act like we did as a child—- get defensive and do the opposite!

It’s true for every single relationship out there! I genuinely believe that most Christians that are trying to share their Faith have no intention of coming across as self-righteous A holes! Of course not! They are trying to do what Jesus calls us to do. But it’s just a matter of delivery that throws off the intention.

So, in my writing and in my speaking, I have learned that the best way to speak about beliefs is to speak from personal experience. Many more “I feel…” or “I have…” or “We can…” and a lot less “You should’s…”

Even a seemingly innocent question of “Why?” can invoke a natural defensive response. Think about yourself and how you respond when someone asks you “Why?” about your beliefs or actions. You naturally get a little defensive, don’t you? A far better question is, “Tell me more about that?”

Keeping things trigger-free of defensive emotions is the best way to have a loving conversation.

5. In the End It’s Up to God Anyway, So Have Faith:

Trust me, I am not taking this as a cop out by any means. God calls ALL who have a relationship with Him to create more disciples among us (Matthew 28:16-20). But we must always remember that it is ultimately GOD and that person that has the control in this.

We are just responsible for our part, not their part. God has to take care of that from the inside.

Jesus tells us this point blank. “You did not choose me; I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit, the kind of fruit that endures. And so the Father will give you whatever you ask of Him in my name.” (John 15:16 GNB)

I think this is one of the most profound mental shifts I have made in my Faith. I have to establish a deep enough belief and FAITH in God that allows me to trust that ALL I have to do is MY BEST and the rest is up to God and the other person. To be obedient to MY responsibility here on earth with thanksgiving and the honor of being chosen and capable.

Nothing can be forced from the outside. Everything comes from within. Their personal experiences build up until staying the same is far more painful than changing their beliefs. That is what it was for me and that is what it is for everyone!

These are just my takes on what I am doing that I think is working. I am not perfect at it and do know that I need to grow in courage and Faith more and more. But I was proud of the progress I made in overcoming a lot of fears this last weekend! I hope this encourages you in your Faith this week too!

An Epiphany….

We all see them and they make us cringe. They are the people that are so caught up in their own beliefs, whether whole-heartedly with an established religion or whole-heartedly against established religion, that they start pushing their beliefs on everyone they know and questioning anyone in their way.

With the advent of social media, we’ve seen this interaction on the rise. People have more courage to be a-holes when they are typing their responses instead of saying them. Plus, things get lost in the text and translation and it’s a slippery slope to a non-stop loop of slander and defense.

All of this has made a strong case for society now telling us “keep your Faith and your political beliefs to yourself!”

So, deciding to take courage to ignore said opinions and put my Faith into my business that is built for the online space is something that is pretty scary to do! I’ve opened up a few times regarding these fears that I’ve been able to overcome.

And yet, at the same time, writing about my Faith is also kind of a “safe” way to be open about it. I have the protection of my screen blocking me from any riffraff. I can choose to read comments and respond or hit delete and move on!

Alas, this past weekend when I had the opportunity to do some face-to-face interaction and opening up about my business and the Fit and Faith movement, I was nervous. I was among 80+ other health and fitness female entrepreneurs attending the Best of You Coaching Club fitness retreat all the way in Asheville, NC. I have been in this group all year, but as it is a virtual coaching club with the majority of our interaction via Facebook, I had met only very few of the women in attendance before that day.

As is customary, at the first session, everyone was asked to stand up, give their introduction about their business and tell what they’d like to learn over the weekend. I was nervous of course, because, well, #publicspeaking.

But I was also really nervous because I knew I was going to be “breaking society’s rules” and attempting to do it face-to-face. In fact, my mentor herself has written that she is not a Faith-based person at all, which I totally get! Not everyone is where I am. Talking about Faith among other believers can be awkward enough, but putting it all “out there” to people who don’t share your faith is HARD.

But I knew I needed to stand in my Truth. My Truth is that A. Wright Fit is not just a regular “I want to help women get healthy” kind of business. I know, that ultimately, I am in the life-changing business because I want to use Fitness as a way to help women grow into their Faith and a real relationship with God. Then I want to use their Faith to excel and balance their Fitness!

With married health power-houses, Jade Teta (Metabolic Effect) and Jill Coleman (Jillfit.com and my business mentor) — Me (center) with the married health power-houses, Jade Teta (Metabolic Effect) and Jill Coleman (Jillfit.com and my business mentor).

I stood up smiling and said my piece, “Hi, I’m Amanda Wright, I own A. Wright Fit that is a Fit and Faith based company that I hope to expand and lead a Fit and Faithful movement.” I sat down and my heart was beating audibly in my ears. “Whew, I did it!” I thought. As I listened to all the other women, I realized, we all had different ventures (which is awesome!) but I was the only one that had decided to be combine Faith and Fitness.

What happened was pretty remarkable. Later throughout the day, I had several women come up to me and talk about being Faith-based in this industry and give me such great praise for being the only one there that said anything about their Faith and business together.

One woman told me she was in awe that I was willing to just be bold and say it because she had a hard time admitting to her faith in her business out of fear of isolating some clients.

Another friend said the same thing, while she had one Faith-based component of her business, her main business aspect she wanted to pursue was outside of the Faith realm because she knew that so many people would be “turned off” by it and wouldn’t buy from her.

Another woman said that she was not religious at all (she had had a bad experience growing up) but she really respected the way I went about my Faith and wrote about it too. Such amazing encouragement!

Everyone had very valid points in their concerns! While I do not believe that it is necessary for everyone to make their “business” about their Faith like I feel I am called to do, all this does point the very real fear of breaking “Society’s Rules” that I mentioned before. This can go for ANY belief and stance in life, but specifically, I believe….

…as Christians, we fear the STIGMA that everyone thinks Christians are Self-Righteous A-Holes.

I have admitted on this blog a few times that one of my biggest fears in starting A. Wright Fit was not about standing up to the non-Christians, but about standing up to the CHRISTIANS.

To date, the only person that has ever “ruffled my feathers” over an article I wrote was in fact a Christian guy whom I agreed with on all of his points! But he still felt obligated to post some crazy offensive stories with some very defensive remarks that were pretty unwarranted.

So all this to say, there is some legitimacy to everyone’s claims. There are some of the overly religious, overtly rules-based, sin-pointing, shame-inducing, types that are frankly, 100% WRONG, in how they approach and speak to anyone that does not yet have a relationship with Jesus.

But you know what? Even though there are these extreme types, I want to make a stand and say it. NO! Not ALL Christians are Self-Righteous A-Holes!

In fact, NOT MANY are. I don’t have hardly any Faith-based friends and family that are self-righteous because frankly, why would I be hanging around a person like that?!

I realized that if I am hoping to start a Fit and Faithful MOVEMENT, which will highlight and celebrate everyone that is embracing their Faith in their Fitness, then we need to start the conversation about simply being BRAVE enough to admit to your Faith first!

The reason why so many of my fellow believers don’t admit it is because of the STIGMA that society has given “religious” people. But the STIGMA is NOT TRUE in MOST CASES. Fearing the stigma and shying away from the stigma does not make the stigma going away.

**We must SURREND’her to the STIGMA and stand up for the truth!**

Faith-Based DOES NOT Equal A-Hole.

Faith-Based means humble. Faith-based means kind. Faith-based means loving. Faith-based means passionate, strong, God-powered and centered. Faith-based means you know how screwed up you are, but you just serve a God that’s greater.

To be Faith-based simply means that we are attempting to grow and cultivate our character to be like that of Christ, albeit it quite imperfectly. In case you don’t know, Christ, in the 33-years He was on this Earth wasn’t an A-hole. I know that sentence is not exactly in the scriptures anywhere, but I can read between the lines and that’s what it comes down to. (;-))

If we can get over our FEAR of what everyone is going to think about us, than we can move on to freely do what we are set out and called to do, help those we love find God in their heart. To, as is my Mission Statement and Life Verse says, “Let our light shine before others, so they might see my good deeds and glorify my Father in heaven!” (Matt 5:16).

Matt 5-16

So, to prove my point, I’m going to a second-part of this series on the 5 Distinguishing Things I Did Last Weekend to Avoid Being a Faith-Based A Hole..

Be sure you check it out!